A Camping We Will Go

An NCIS/Royal Pains Crossover

By RascalFlattsS

Summary: Tony, Tim and Jimmy go camping in upstate Vermont and invite Hank and Evan to come along! Oh, what kind of trouble will ensue? Whumpage all around in some way shape or form.

A/N: Because you all loved the NCIS guest appearances in The Problem with House Calls and A Lost Brother, I figure it was time for a crossover so here you are. I thought of this story when I was working-it was a slow day and I had a lot of time to kill. I really should stop daydreaming at work about possible Fanfiction stories and work instead….hmm…conundrum…..

Chapter I

NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee snuck down to Autopsy. The sliding door opened and Tim saw Jimmy Palmer sitting at his desk.

"Hey Jimmy," said Tim. "Is Ducky around?"

"No," said Jimmy. "He went upstairs to brief Agent Gibbs, if you need to talk to him."

"Actually, I came down here to talk to you," said Tim.

"Me?" asked Jimmy, surprised.

Tim nodded, "What are you doing this weekend?"

"Nothing," said Jimmy. "Why?"

"Well, don't tell anyone," said Tim. "Do you remember the Santos case?" Tim continued after Jimmy nodded, "Well, Tony and I had to do a stake out outside Commander Collins' house and I learned that Tony has never been camping."

"What?" asked Jimmy. He knew he shouldn't be shocked by what Tony had told him about his father and his child but still.

"I know!" agreed Tim. "Anyway, we have a four day weekend coming after this large case and I was thinking that we should take Tony camping."

Jimmy smiled. "That's a great idea, Tim!"

"So, can you come?" asked Tim.

"Of course," said Jimmy. "So, who else is coming?"

"I was thinking of also inviting my one of my friends from MIT Evan," said Tim. "But I know Ziva and Abby have reservations at a spa and Ducky and Gibbs have to go to a conference in Nashville. So it would just be us guys."

"Cool," said Jimmy.

"Now I just have to call Evan," said Tim as he pulled out his cell phone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Evan Lawson was sitting at the kitchen table, working on the statement of cash flow for HankMed, when his cell phone rang. Evan didn't even bother to glance at the caller ID before he answered.

"Hello, thank you for calling HankMed. How can we make you feel better today?" asked Evan all in one breathe.

"HankMed? What is that? Wait, don't answer, I don't want to know. Especially if it's anything similar to that computer repair business we had in college."

Evan smiled. He knew that voice. "For your information, Tim, HankMed is a concierge doctor business that my brother and I started in the Hamptons. And no, it's nothing like 'Wiki-Fix' for two reasons. One, this business is actually making money and two, this time; we didn't accidently set off the sprinkler system, destroying half a building."

Tim laughed, "Good to hear that, Evan. I'm sure Professor Alberts would also be please to hear that."

Now it was Evan's turn to laugh, "Oh man, I forgot about that. Remember how made he was! But in my defense, what chemistry teacher leaves two breakers out in the open with unidentified chemicals in them?"

"Well, you didn't have to pour them together!" said Tim.

"Yeah, yeah," said Evan. "You always crushed my creativity and innovative sprit."

"They had to evacuate the building," said Tim. "And no one was allowed to go back in for a week! The place still seems weird, even after all these years."

"Was there a point to this phone call?" asked Evan. "Other than rehash the past, which you clearly don't remember, by the way. Did one of those bad guys give you a concussion and you are now suffering from severe memory loss?"

"You wish," said Tim, "I'll remember that till my death bed. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Absolutely nothing, man," said Evan. "Do you need me to go uncover with you in some super secret assignment?"

"No," said Tim. "Jimmy, Tony and I are going camping in upstate Vermont. You want to come?"

"Heck yes!" said Evan. He grabbed his calendar and flipped it open, "Just let me check my calendar quick to make sure I don't have anything else going on-oh shoot."

"What?"

"Hank and I were supposed to hang out together," said Evan. "It's the anniversary of-well, you know-" Evan paused, swallowing hard and blinking back the tears that were forming.

"Right. Your mom," said Tim. There was a moment of silence before Tim spoke up, "Hey! I've got an idea! Why don't you bring Hank along?"

"What?" asked Evan. "You sure?"

"Sure!" said Tim. "It will be fun. And it will help get your mind off this weekend. And it sounds like you guys could use a break. Plus, between you and Tony, I'm sure that at some point, the weekend will include a trip to the ER. Might as well save the trouble and bring the doctor with us."

"What are you talking about?" asked Evan.

"Evan, you are the second most accident prone person I know," said Tim.

"Second?" repeated Evan, "That hurts me, Tim."

"You were first for a long time," said Tim, "I didn't think I could meet anyone more accident prone than you. But then I meet Tony DiNozzo."

"And what has Tony done that I haven't?" asked Evan.

"In the five years, I worked with him," started Tim. "He's had multiple concussions and head injuries, been shot a couple of times, been blown up FIVE times, framed for murder twice, sprained his ankle three times, broken his nose, and had the plague."

"The plague?" asked Evan. "As in-from the Middle Ages and Black Death-plague? How on earth do you get the plague?"

"It's a long story," said Tim, "I'll tell you later."

"Sounds like it," said Evan. "But I still say I'm not accident prone."

"Evan, you broke your shoulder blade and tore your ACL slipping on a wet floor," said Tim.

"Well, they should a sign!" said Evan defensively.

"You mean those yellow triangle things that say, 'Caution. Wet Floor'?" said Tim.

Evan scowled. "Whatever, Tim. Where'd do you want to meet?"

"How about at the park?" said Tim. "And how about Thursday afternoon at four? Does that work for you?"

"Sure," said Evan. "Now comes the hard part."

"What's that?" asked Tim.

"Convincing Hank to go," said Evan.

"I still have to tell Tony," said Tim.

There was a moment of silence before they both answered.

"Good luck."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Tony!"

Tony DiNozzo looked up from his desk to see Tim and Jimmy walking towards him. They stopped right in front of desk.

"What's up, Probie? Autopsy gremlin?" Tony asked.

"What are you doing?" asked Jimmy.

Tony shrugged, "Not sure yet. I was thinking of having a James Bond movie marathon."

"WRONG!" said Tim, slapping his hand down on his desk. Tony jumped a little from the sudden movement. "You already have plans."

"I do?"

"Yep."

"And they would be?"

"You're coming with us."

"What? Why?"

"Because we said so. And we outnumber you," said Jimmy, smiling. "So you have to do what we say."

"I don't think so," said Tony.

"Yes, you do," said Tim. "We have Ziva and Abby on our side."

"It's true," shouted Ziva from her desk.

"Why don't you and Abby hang out with McGeek and Jimmer?" asked Tony.

"Ziva and I are going to a spa," said Abby, walking out the elevator and over to Tony's desk. "And you had better listen to Tim and Jimmy or else you'd have to answer to me."

Tony looked over to Ziva, who nodded in agreement. Tony sighed and slumped down in his chair. Fighting with Tim and Jimmy was a losing battle. There was no way out of this.

"All right," said Tony, sounding defeated. Tim, Jimmy, Abby and Ziva grinned. "I'll come. Let me guess, we're going to some geek convention, right?"

Tim and Jimmy grinned even wider. "Nope. Not even close, Tony," said Tim.

"We won't be inside at all this weekend," added Jimmy.

Tony looked up in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Tim and Jimmy looked at each other. "We're going camping!" they both said together, smiling.

Tony's jaw dropped in surprised, "What?"

"Remember during the stakeout?" asked Tim. "You told me that you had never been camping."

"And everyone should go camping," said Jimmy.

"And this seemed like the perfect weekend for it," said Tim. "My friend Evan and his brother are coming too."

"It will be really fun," said Jimmy. "You'll see, Tony. We both think you'll really enjoy it."

They both looked down at Tony, waiting for him to answer.

Tony was shocked. He didn't know what to say. His parents were too busy to really do anything with him as a child. His father took him once to a motel and left him there for two days and didn't realize it until he got the bill. They never had time to taking him camping. He had always been jealous of the other kids at school who got to spend time with their parents. Tony never dreamed he'd get to go.

He looked up at Tim and Jimmy, waiting for an answer. Then he smiled.

"I'll go," said Tony. "One condition."

Tim groaned. He should have known this would happen. "What?"

Tony smile grew wider, "There'd have better be s'mores."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Evan! We're back!" shouted Dr. Hank Lawson as he and his associate Divya Katdare walked into the guesthouse he shared with his brother.

"Hey Hank! Guess what?" said Evan as he bounced down the stairs.

"What?" asked Hank.

"Guess what we are doing this weekend?" asked Evan.

"Evan-"started Hank.

"Just guess, Hank," said Evan.

"I don't know," said Hank. "I'm tired, Evan. Can't you just tell me?"

"All right," said Evan. "We are going camping!"

Hank's face fell. "Camping?"

"Yeah," said Evan. "Doesn't that sound like fun? Sleeping out beneath the stars; getting back to nature and all that fun stuff. My friend Tim and a couple of his buddies are going camping and they invited us to come along. What you say?"

"I don't think so, Evan," said Hank.

"Oh c'mon, Hank!" said Evan. "I need a break from work and I know you do, too. C'mon, this will be fun."

"I have patients, Evan-" started Hank.

"Divya's perfectly capable of taking care of them," said Evan. "And if for some reason, she can't there is that nice hospital down the way that is jammed packed full of doctors and nurses."

"He's right, Hank," said Divya. "I can handle things for a few days."

"No, that's not necessary, Divya," said Hank.

"It's no problem," said Divya.

"See there you go!" said Evan. "We are all set! All we have to do is grab the snake bite kit and we are good to go!"

Divya and Hank both looked up at Evan.

"Snake bite kit?" asked Hank. "Were exactly are you planning to go camping?"

"It never hurts to be prepared," said Evan. "That's the boy scouts' motto."

"You were never a boy scout," replied Hank.

Evan waived his hand impatiently. "Minor detail, Henry. Minor detail."

"And why do you need a snake bite kit?" asked Divya, "Since there are very few poisonous snakes on the east coast, which makes a snake bite highly unlikely."

"You know you would think that, wouldn't you?" said Evan.

Hank and Divya looked at each other with worried expressions.

"Evan," started Hank, using his 'big brother' voice. He knew there was more to this story than Evan was telling and he wanted an answer. NOW. "Why do you need a snake bite kit?"

"Anyway," said Evan, completely ignore Hank's question. "What do you say, Hank? Let's pack up and hit the open road! Next stop Vermont!"

"Evan," said Hank, dropping his voice. "Not this weekend. Okay?"

"That's why we should go, Hank," said Evan softly. "I know that this weekend is a hard time of year for you. It is for me too. That's why I think we should go and do something fun to get our minds off of that."

Evan sighed deeply. "I am going with or without you, Hank. But it would be a lot more fun with you." Evan broke into a deep grin. "Plus, we'll make s'mores."

"You should go, Hank," said Divya. She could tell by the tone of Evan's and Hank's voices that they were most likely talking about their mother. "It will be good to get away and clear your mind."

"Divya-" started Hank but Divya cut him off.

"If you won't go for that reason," she said. "You should at least go and supervise Evan and his friends and make sure they don't get into any trouble. From the sounds of it, it sounds like that's a really possibility with this group."

"Hey! I resent that!" said Evan. "We do not need a baby-sitter!"

Hank smiled. "All right, I'll go. If Divya's sure she can handle things here."

"Oh course I can," said Divya.

"Sweet!" said Evan. "I'm going to go finish packing! This is going to be so great, Hank. You won't regret this I promise!" And with that, Evan started bouncing up the stairs.

"I hope not," whispered Hank. He followed his brother up the stairs. "Evan, tell me again why we need a snake bite kit? Evan?! Don't ignore me like that, Evan! EVAN!"

A/N: Sorry, no really cliffie karma at the end of this chapter. Will appear in later chapters, I promise.

Please R&R!