Lost in Translation: Ranger Style

Ranger. He's a man of few words. And the words he does use don't often tell us a whole lot. For those of us not blessed with ESP, here is the quick and dirty translation of some of Batman's less-than-clear words.

Note: This is not a conversation! Each item is a separate entity.

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: Are you okay?

* * *

"Babe."

Translation: You blew up my car. Again.

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be na-

* * *

"Santos."

Translation: If you check out Stephanie's ass again, you're on monitor duty for a week.

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: How big is the fire?

* * *

"Babe."

Translation: Holy crap. You just put away more food than Tank!

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be na-

* * *

"Santos."

Translation: Hell will freeze over before you pick up Stephanie for a distraction. Or take her home. Especially take her home. Get your eyes off her ass!

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: Will my men require hazard pay?

* * *

"Babe."

Translation: If you don't stop making those noises when you eat, all bets are off.

* * *

"Santos."

Translation: I hear Cambodia is nice this time of year.

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be na-

* * *

"Babe."

Translation: I got nothing here. I just like the way you look at me when I call you Babe.

* * *

"Ella. Dinner for two."

Translation: I actually got Stephanie to come up to seven. I need food to seal the deal, and I need it now. Chocolate! STAT!

* * *

"Babe."

Translation: You thought you could fool me by sneaking out the bathroom window? Seriously?

* * *

*Stephanie's ring tone*

"Yo."

Translation: Please be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod. Please be—What the hell?! Tank? Why are you calling from Stephanie's cell? You better not be naked and handcuffed to the shower rod.