Borders of Guilt and Insanity
AN: Just something... had it ever since and thought about letting it out- anywyas, disclaimer- do not own... and on with the story! Read! Enjoy! Review!
Peter Pettigrew traced the mug he held with blank fingers. The drink itself didn't appeal to him anymore, and here he thought he was going to rest his mind- but it only made things worse, it only made him think more and more of what he did, what he was doing, and what he was going to do. He sighed and lifted the mug to his lips- only to settle it down once more with an annoyed groan.
He stared around the rusty bar, where the barkeeper spat, and the drunk fought and those women served… a place where the Death Eaters usually hung out- after all, everyone who was here was a wizard and the barkeep himself traded information to the Death Eaters by a few conditions. He spotted Avery back in the far corners, slumped with drool out of his mouth a few others he recognized- all filthily drunk… unknown to their surroundings.
"Wow… I never thought I'd see one of them here."
The amused voice made him snap out of his thoughts and whip toward the speaker- his heart skipped beats and his hair was at an end. For a second, he thought it was Sirius- but then, he took in the thinner frame, the longer hair and the fathomless eyes and concluded that it was Regulus. Even worse. He'd seen Regulus in a few meetings, yet never saw him face to face- and he wished to keep it that way since he doubted Regulus knew him- with all the masks they had wear and the cloaks… they all looked alike so it wasn't a great possibility for Regulus to recognize him in those meetings and if he did… if Regulus knew about him then he would most probably tell Sirius… and then-
"Got nothing to say?" he cocked his head to the side, his sneer growing on his darkly handsome face.
"What did you mean?" to his horror he found his voice a squeak- he cleared it immediately.
"I mean," he scoffed, "that one of that blood-traitor's brother is actually here. And here I thought you'd never betray each other as he so bravely put it… seems that in every group there's a rot…"
He smiled so icily that he felt the temperature drop a few degrees. It was so- so wrong. He just looked so much like Sirius- as if he was an exact carbon copy- that he kept forgetting himself. Regulus- even though clearly uninvited- sat himself opposite him.
"Or are you just playing brave and coming here as a spy?" he cocked his head to the side with fake innocence that his hair came over his eyes- he shook it away.
Peter felt his insides squirm- he did it just like Sirius. It was as if the dark Sirius was here- or how Sirius would've ended up if he went to Slytherin.
"I'm loyal to my master-" he started with the rubbish.
"Master?" Regulus sneered. "Which one? I remember you had many."
Peter stayed silent for a few moments- what was he going to say now? He was a coward and everyone else knew it… what was the point?
"He promised me-"
"What? Power?" he jeered. "Didn't he say that to all of us-"
"Honor!" he retorted back.
"The only honor you're going to get is honor from the dead- no wait, you're a disgrace to them too!" his laugh was bark-like and the way he whipped his head to the side when he laughed made him sweat.
'It's not Sirius- this is his pathetic brother! It's not Sirius!'
"What? No more promises?" he smiled venomously.
Peter stared up at the boy- what was he, 17? 18? He was scared of someone younger than him? Peter built himself up for a smart come back but found nothing- what else could he say to the boy? This boy that knew what he was going through with the Death Eaters- so he couldn't pull out any exaggeration... any reason.
"Don't go tangling yourself in webs you can't escape, they'll just tug tighter and tighter," Reg said softly- yet the threat didn't go by unnoticed.
"I hope you go by your own advice." Finally! Something to stop him in his tracks.
Regulus stopped fiddling with his fingers and stared up at the older man.
"Excuse me?" the mock was so clear that Peter flinched visibly. "What did you say?" Even though he was smiling Peter couldn't help but feel danger radiate from him.
"Tangle yourself with the Dark Lord in things you can't handle, the web will slowly tug tighter as well- until it chokes you… "
"Wow… someone has a sense of reality- you pick up fast don't you Pettigrew?"
Even when he threatened him he found a way around him- great.
"If I were you, I'd stop with fancy words and do something-"
"Do what? Linger at the corners like you?" Where that outburst had come from he didn't know, but he was glad as he saw a shadow of fear creep onto the younger boy's face.
Slowly, that shadow faded away into a smile- it crept up his spine and made his skin shiver.
"I don't linger, as you so heroically put it," he replied. "I watch- I observe, you see, I do something worth doing in this world, unlike you, who goes around, hiding behind the biggest boulder in the desert, who goes serving the highest bidder and all that crap…"
Peter sat in silence- true. All of that was true… why join the losing side? Why join the one that was going suffer? Everyone in the Order knew that they were out-numbered and knew that they couldn't stand a chance sometimes- and that missions mean a 75% of dying.
"What's it to you anyways? You never cared about Sirius- nor about me for that matter. I barely talk to you- barely see you, why don't we just keep it that way.
" "Guilt washing you over?" he sounded amused.
Peter glared at him- all his hatred pouring, pouring to this person who could see him as clear as crystal. This person whose mere face made him guilty. Why did they have to look so alike? Why? They sounded alike, looked alike, talked alike, moved alike- it was unfair. Only he was darker- more sinister, more dangerous.
Regulus saw no use in sprouting truths to this ma- yet it seemed so nice to pick on someone, to ease himself as relieve himself from all the stress…
Nodding slowly as if to himself he said, "I like you, you know… "
Peter stared up at the guy- it was true then wasn't it, he really did turn insane! He heard comments that he was as crazy as his cousin, the scenes twisted his mind and it seemed voluntarily true… the way he would look up and fidget, and the way his eyes would roll and he would cackle at random times, the way he would mutter to himself things and see into fires without blinking… he deserved a place in the nuthouse!
"You make me feel better about myself, you know," he said softly, passing his finger through the fire of the candle in front of him. "I didn't betray anyone, I'm not digging anyone's grave, I don't have friends whom I owe my life to- all the opposite of you… you see when things get stressed, I look at you and say 'hey, I'm a saint!'" he laughed that maniacal laugh that echoed through his ears and rang his eardrums. "Keep it up Pettigrew! Keep it up!"
His voice died away and he was slowly chuckling to himself as his glazed eyes traced his motion- as his finger went over the fire unburned.
"I wonder… what would happen if Sirius knew, eh?" he looked up at him with his glazed eyes- still bathed in venom and pain.
Peter felt his heart stop- literally stop beating in his chest.
"You wouldn't-"
Before he knew it he found his sleeve being pulled up and the Dark Mark shining brightly before him- pulping upwards. Regulus' grey eyes were traced over the lines and lingered on the eyes of the skull before looking back at him.
"It is genuine isn't it?" he mocked, a smile so ice-like planted on his face.
Peter pulled his hand back and covered the mark with trembling hands. Sweat poured from his forehead and he felt his hands thicken with moisture.
"I be Sirius would be ecstatic when he hears that his true brothers was here, digging his grave deeper and deeper till the time comes to throw him in… what a pity- he wasted all that breathe defending you all back when he was at home… such a shame…" his laugh was behind all his words.
"Tell Sirius- and I'll tell the Dark Lord of-"
"Of what? My betrayal? You know, having Bellatrix as a cousin does do you favours- as pathetic as you come, who's going to believe you, that I, cousin of one of the greatest Death Eaters from the house of Black is actually betraying his cause. Good Luck with that- and if you do succeed, then I'll have a newfound respect for you." With that he blew the candle and the heat from Peters face slowly enveloped into coldness.
"Oh well Pettigrew- you better watch out, or my tongue might just slip," he smiled and shook the hair out of his eyes.
With a swift movement, he was gone, the blankness of his cloak surrounding him like a dementor. He doubted anything would happen, after all, the Black brothers weren't close- they barely saw each other and they avoided one another as much as possible when they were in battle. Peter sighed- great, another thing to worry about. I better stay as far away from them… what to do?
A week later, the heavens prasied him, the Death Eaters cursed him, the waters rippled towards him, and death enveloped him and the Order remained oblivious- Regulus Black was dead. Slowly, did Peter smile- he was warning him. Regulus was warning him- he was dying and was warning him o not harm Sirius. Since he probably didn't have the time to do it himself he threatened him… so he was human after all… and who said the insane weren't smart.
'I think I've found a newfound respect for you Black, too bad I won't share it.'
AN: review?