A/N: I was inspired by this last night because I wanted to write a Tamers fic and insomnia had put me in a dark mood. I'm warning you once more, PG-13 for death, insanity, suicide and yaoi. I'm sorry if it's too fast paced, but I really couldn't think of how to begin it, and I wanted to have it done quickly so it wouldn't be bugging me.
Also, one last warning: This contains slight spoilers from later on in Tamers. Nothing too drastic, but nonetheless, I should warn you. And I used Lee's real name, Jianliang. I'm not sure why they refer to him as Lee, but that's his surname. Ok, read on.
Two Birds with One Stone
By Sailor Chibi Saturn aka Speedo
Hirokazu. The rude, loud and unbeatable Hirokazu. He's been diagnosed with leukemia.
As I sit here and think about it, I really can't believe it. He was the one who always beat us when playing the Digimon card game, and he was the first one to rub it in your face if you lost. but, despite this, we all still liked him. He was our friend. Takato and I had known him for ages, ever since we all met in pre-school. It was a little funny that we ever became friends: cheerful Takato, rude Hirokazu and nerdy Kenta.
They've put him in the hospital recently because his condition has really gotten much worse. We're only 15, and even after the whole Digital World experience, we're still so young. The doctors won't say it, but his case is pretty terminal. I've gone to se him so many times; he's so pale and the room he's in is so bleak and depressing. It's awful.
He's not just my friend.... I love him. I've admired him for so long, always the one who was a leader, always the strongest of us all. Not just physically, but in spirit too. And then there was myself. Weak, nerdy and without friends. Except for him and Takato. I'm so thankful I met them, otherwise I would have led a friendless childhood. And then Takato eventually introduced me to other friends. Ruki was like Hirokazu, except she had a colder nature, and I had known Juri for a while, but had always thought she was a little on the weird side. And I never had even set eyes on Jianliang (Lee). Shaochung was too young, though, for me to really be friends withher. She was a sweet kid, though, and she's grown quite mature because of the age at which she experienced the Digital World.
I really miss the old days. But they've died; gone with the past. All over: forever.
I think that I'll go visit him now... Maybe he'll be better. Maybe one day we'll walk to the park again, like we did when we were younger and obsessed with Digimon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room's so bleak. Hirokazu isn't even awake, and one of the nurses told me that he hasn't been awake since last Tuesday. I just sit here in a chair next to his bed staring at him and wishing he'd wake up from his comatose state.
I want to leave, it's so painful to see your friend so very disabled, but I can't leave yet. I can't just leave him alone in this cold, blindingly white, unfriendly room.
But I did have to leave eventually, it was getting late and I didn't want my parents worrying. Also, Takato told me I spent too much time there, and that visiting for hours on end every single day helped neither myself nor Hirokazu, since he needed his rest and everyone else swore my health was starting to fail itself. So what? It wasn't like they were life threatening stuff.... Measles, flu and a cold, it's not like I'll die from either one.
I walked over to the side of his bed and looked down. At least he looked peaceful when he was asleep. He just looked weak and unwell when he was awake, and even though he could then talk to them, it seemed better if he were just resting.
I really couldn't resist. I looked around quickly, and seeing no one near the doorway, leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. His eyelids suddenley fluttered open and I drew back in a bit of a panic. He put his hand on my cheek, though, and said, "I love you too, Kenta-chan..." He then let his eyes close again and let out a soft sigh, smiling. And then, without a warning, his hand slid off of my face and flopped onto the bed beside him. And a long, loud buzzer sounded. his heart had stopped.
"Kazu-chan?! KAZU-CHAN! Wake up!" I pleaded. A nurse rushed in, swore violently and ran out to get a doctor. I felt a total sense of numbing and started to sob, "K-kazu-chan..." A doctor came in running in, but everything went all white and I couldn't tell what was going on anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyelids felt so heavy as I slowly opened them. The ceiling is white.... since when was my ceiling white?
Then realization hit me. I sat up in bed and saw I was in patients garb and in a hospital room. A friendly looking nurse had jjust come in, "Well, good morning, I'm glad that you have woken up." I frowned, "Why am I here?" And then what had happened earlier came back to me, "Kazu-chan..."
The nurse attempted to still look cheerful, "Well, we admitted you only because we noticed that your health wasn't exactly in the best shape it could be in. You were suffering from slight malnutrition.We'll let you go home today though."
"Where's my friend? Hirokazu-kun? Is he okay?" This nurse may be friendly, but he certainly wasn't being very helpful. Seeing that he couldn't get me to drop the subject, he frowned and became quite sober, "I'm sorry, but Shiota-san has passed on. You passed out right afterwards."
This time, I just felt a numbing sense of overwhelment. I looked down at my hands. He was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral had ended a while ago, but I still sat on the sopping wet ground in front of the newly erected headstone. It was a cool, drizzly day. It was as if Mother Nature was also mourning for the loss of Hirokazu, even though it was she who stole him away from us all.
The others had only left, one by one, because Ruki was still there, too. She and he had been very good friends once they had gotten to know eachother, even though she had at first judged him as an overconfident idiot when they first went to the Digital World.
But Ruki still is a rather cold person, and her heart, even after all these years, still has only thawed slightly. She left too.
And now I'm alone here, in front of this headstone in the rain.
Shiota Hirokazu
1990 - 2005
Swift your life did so fly,
We'll miss you very much.
I only wish I had known you sooner,
But am thankful for the time we were friends.
Ruki, Shaochung, Jianliang, Juri, Takato and I came up with that. It's seems so pointless right now, but at least it's a memory of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel such a dull, aching pain. That's all I feel right now. It still hasn't stopped raining. The funeral was a week ago. The city's streets are flooding. I wish I could go back in time.
I've had these dreams lately, and Hirokazu is in them. He's asking me to join him. Maybe I will. I'd be better off, and I would be with him again.
I'm making myself a cup of tea, boiling the water first and hunting around for a tea bag. I choose a lemon flavored one from the cabinet and put it next to the teapot. Then I go looking around under the sink for something else.
The kettle on the stove gives a shrill shriek and I stop looking to get it off so it won't overflow onto the stove. I pour it into the teapot and put the teabag in to steep. Then, I go back to looking around. And at last I've found it. Arsenic. Dad keeps it around to kill the aphids on his plants and clean the drains when they clog up.
I take it and open the cap, carefully shaking a bit of it out into a teaspoon. After re-capping it, I put it back in the far corner it was under the sink. I check the tea and see that it is ready and pour it into one of my favorite blue cups. After adding the small amount of arsenic, I carefully wash the spoon with hot water and soap, and then put it back into the drawer.
Picking up the cup and saucer, I walk to my room and over to the bed, setting down the saucer and cup on the the small cabinet next to my bed. I dig my journal out from under my bed and sit down on th bed, testing the temperature of the tea with my finger. It's too hot, so I take out a pen to write one last thing in my journal.
My journal. I've kept it as an account of my life ever since I went to the Digital World. I'd die if anyone knew it, but when I die, I want my friends from then to have it. I flip through the weathered pages, some are torn and others have stains on them. It's not neat, but it really reveals my feelings.
After flipping to the last page, I write the date, but no entry to it. I usually write "Dear Yuki" (I named it, since Diary sounds stupid), but not today. I wrote, in very neat cursive and in English that I learned in English Writing class: "I love you, Kazu-chan." I put the pen away and close the journal, putting it onto the cabinet next to the bed and picking up the teacup. I sip it, as it has now cooled down enough, and drink all but a little bit at the bottom.
After putting it down again I walk over to the window. The sun is poking through the clouds and there is a weak rainbow hanging in the sky. But the world seems to be getting darker despite this. It also starts to seem as if I have taken my glasses off, but I know I haven't. And the darker and more blurred the image gets, the brighter the sun is probably getting.
I suddenley see a very sharp and clear image of a person standing beside the bed reflected in my window, "Kazu-chan..." I sigh, and then, without another moment, everything is black.
Also, one last warning: This contains slight spoilers from later on in Tamers. Nothing too drastic, but nonetheless, I should warn you. And I used Lee's real name, Jianliang. I'm not sure why they refer to him as Lee, but that's his surname. Ok, read on.
Two Birds with One Stone
By Sailor Chibi Saturn aka Speedo
Hirokazu. The rude, loud and unbeatable Hirokazu. He's been diagnosed with leukemia.
As I sit here and think about it, I really can't believe it. He was the one who always beat us when playing the Digimon card game, and he was the first one to rub it in your face if you lost. but, despite this, we all still liked him. He was our friend. Takato and I had known him for ages, ever since we all met in pre-school. It was a little funny that we ever became friends: cheerful Takato, rude Hirokazu and nerdy Kenta.
They've put him in the hospital recently because his condition has really gotten much worse. We're only 15, and even after the whole Digital World experience, we're still so young. The doctors won't say it, but his case is pretty terminal. I've gone to se him so many times; he's so pale and the room he's in is so bleak and depressing. It's awful.
He's not just my friend.... I love him. I've admired him for so long, always the one who was a leader, always the strongest of us all. Not just physically, but in spirit too. And then there was myself. Weak, nerdy and without friends. Except for him and Takato. I'm so thankful I met them, otherwise I would have led a friendless childhood. And then Takato eventually introduced me to other friends. Ruki was like Hirokazu, except she had a colder nature, and I had known Juri for a while, but had always thought she was a little on the weird side. And I never had even set eyes on Jianliang (Lee). Shaochung was too young, though, for me to really be friends withher. She was a sweet kid, though, and she's grown quite mature because of the age at which she experienced the Digital World.
I really miss the old days. But they've died; gone with the past. All over: forever.
I think that I'll go visit him now... Maybe he'll be better. Maybe one day we'll walk to the park again, like we did when we were younger and obsessed with Digimon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room's so bleak. Hirokazu isn't even awake, and one of the nurses told me that he hasn't been awake since last Tuesday. I just sit here in a chair next to his bed staring at him and wishing he'd wake up from his comatose state.
I want to leave, it's so painful to see your friend so very disabled, but I can't leave yet. I can't just leave him alone in this cold, blindingly white, unfriendly room.
But I did have to leave eventually, it was getting late and I didn't want my parents worrying. Also, Takato told me I spent too much time there, and that visiting for hours on end every single day helped neither myself nor Hirokazu, since he needed his rest and everyone else swore my health was starting to fail itself. So what? It wasn't like they were life threatening stuff.... Measles, flu and a cold, it's not like I'll die from either one.
I walked over to the side of his bed and looked down. At least he looked peaceful when he was asleep. He just looked weak and unwell when he was awake, and even though he could then talk to them, it seemed better if he were just resting.
I really couldn't resist. I looked around quickly, and seeing no one near the doorway, leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips. His eyelids suddenley fluttered open and I drew back in a bit of a panic. He put his hand on my cheek, though, and said, "I love you too, Kenta-chan..." He then let his eyes close again and let out a soft sigh, smiling. And then, without a warning, his hand slid off of my face and flopped onto the bed beside him. And a long, loud buzzer sounded. his heart had stopped.
"Kazu-chan?! KAZU-CHAN! Wake up!" I pleaded. A nurse rushed in, swore violently and ran out to get a doctor. I felt a total sense of numbing and started to sob, "K-kazu-chan..." A doctor came in running in, but everything went all white and I couldn't tell what was going on anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyelids felt so heavy as I slowly opened them. The ceiling is white.... since when was my ceiling white?
Then realization hit me. I sat up in bed and saw I was in patients garb and in a hospital room. A friendly looking nurse had jjust come in, "Well, good morning, I'm glad that you have woken up." I frowned, "Why am I here?" And then what had happened earlier came back to me, "Kazu-chan..."
The nurse attempted to still look cheerful, "Well, we admitted you only because we noticed that your health wasn't exactly in the best shape it could be in. You were suffering from slight malnutrition.We'll let you go home today though."
"Where's my friend? Hirokazu-kun? Is he okay?" This nurse may be friendly, but he certainly wasn't being very helpful. Seeing that he couldn't get me to drop the subject, he frowned and became quite sober, "I'm sorry, but Shiota-san has passed on. You passed out right afterwards."
This time, I just felt a numbing sense of overwhelment. I looked down at my hands. He was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral had ended a while ago, but I still sat on the sopping wet ground in front of the newly erected headstone. It was a cool, drizzly day. It was as if Mother Nature was also mourning for the loss of Hirokazu, even though it was she who stole him away from us all.
The others had only left, one by one, because Ruki was still there, too. She and he had been very good friends once they had gotten to know eachother, even though she had at first judged him as an overconfident idiot when they first went to the Digital World.
But Ruki still is a rather cold person, and her heart, even after all these years, still has only thawed slightly. She left too.
And now I'm alone here, in front of this headstone in the rain.
Shiota Hirokazu
1990 - 2005
Swift your life did so fly,
We'll miss you very much.
I only wish I had known you sooner,
But am thankful for the time we were friends.
Ruki, Shaochung, Jianliang, Juri, Takato and I came up with that. It's seems so pointless right now, but at least it's a memory of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel such a dull, aching pain. That's all I feel right now. It still hasn't stopped raining. The funeral was a week ago. The city's streets are flooding. I wish I could go back in time.
I've had these dreams lately, and Hirokazu is in them. He's asking me to join him. Maybe I will. I'd be better off, and I would be with him again.
I'm making myself a cup of tea, boiling the water first and hunting around for a tea bag. I choose a lemon flavored one from the cabinet and put it next to the teapot. Then I go looking around under the sink for something else.
The kettle on the stove gives a shrill shriek and I stop looking to get it off so it won't overflow onto the stove. I pour it into the teapot and put the teabag in to steep. Then, I go back to looking around. And at last I've found it. Arsenic. Dad keeps it around to kill the aphids on his plants and clean the drains when they clog up.
I take it and open the cap, carefully shaking a bit of it out into a teaspoon. After re-capping it, I put it back in the far corner it was under the sink. I check the tea and see that it is ready and pour it into one of my favorite blue cups. After adding the small amount of arsenic, I carefully wash the spoon with hot water and soap, and then put it back into the drawer.
Picking up the cup and saucer, I walk to my room and over to the bed, setting down the saucer and cup on the the small cabinet next to my bed. I dig my journal out from under my bed and sit down on th bed, testing the temperature of the tea with my finger. It's too hot, so I take out a pen to write one last thing in my journal.
My journal. I've kept it as an account of my life ever since I went to the Digital World. I'd die if anyone knew it, but when I die, I want my friends from then to have it. I flip through the weathered pages, some are torn and others have stains on them. It's not neat, but it really reveals my feelings.
After flipping to the last page, I write the date, but no entry to it. I usually write "Dear Yuki" (I named it, since Diary sounds stupid), but not today. I wrote, in very neat cursive and in English that I learned in English Writing class: "I love you, Kazu-chan." I put the pen away and close the journal, putting it onto the cabinet next to the bed and picking up the teacup. I sip it, as it has now cooled down enough, and drink all but a little bit at the bottom.
After putting it down again I walk over to the window. The sun is poking through the clouds and there is a weak rainbow hanging in the sky. But the world seems to be getting darker despite this. It also starts to seem as if I have taken my glasses off, but I know I haven't. And the darker and more blurred the image gets, the brighter the sun is probably getting.
I suddenley see a very sharp and clear image of a person standing beside the bed reflected in my window, "Kazu-chan..." I sigh, and then, without another moment, everything is black.