Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, etc. etc. etc. no infringement of copyright intended, etc, etc. just playing with them, like everyone else here.

Warning: Explicit, MA for adult themes and swearing. Jack/Ianto/James slash (eventually)…

AU Bond/Torchwood crossover. What happens when MI6 collides with alien tech? Don't forget, if its alien, its ours…

The sting had not gone as well as it might have done. The bastard who was behind the latest round of global terrorist activity was now very dead, spectacularly in fact, in true Bond fashion. Montoya's yacht had exploded beautifully, with him aboard. Actually it had exploded with Montoya, Montoya's girlfriend (a shame, she had been a sweet distraction but she was, after all, a casualty of war), Montoya's rotten blood money and several of his hit men into the bargain but the problem was that Bond was still being pursued. The sting had not drawn in everyone. Bond had just managed to get off the boat but not without difficulty. He had damaged his back and ripped the muscles in his left shoulder in the process and limped home with the express intent of spending a month or two in a private hospital somewhere quiet while everything healed up. However, as with the best laid plans, it didn't quite work. The remaining men in Montoya's cohort had managed to track him down and were currently on a revenge kick. Having followed him home to England and run him to ground they were currently engaged in making life very difficult.

He hated this cat and mouse game, trying to stay one step ahead of the enemy (or in this case two) as well as trying to draw them out sufficiently so he could get the proverbial clear shot at the target, whatever form that 'clear shot' might take. Currently he was racing along in the DBS, trying to dodge early rush hour traffic as well as maintain a healthy distance from a silver Jaguar and a black BMW, which was proving to be far from easy. He was still in pain from both shoulder and back, which made driving doubly difficult. Incongruously, he was not speeding through some exotic Mediterranean port nor was he descending some snowy road from a mountain ski resort. He was not chasing through some drug baron's tropical island hideaway nor was he trying to evade men with guns in Venetian splendour. He was speeding along the M4 towards Cardiff and he could not, at that moment, imagine a more ordinary, mistily grey and uninviting town to die in.

As the car swept around a bend, the road cleared and his fingers found the speed control for the CD player behind the steering wheel, slid around the back of the projection and flicked the button that sent a slick oil substitute slashing across the tarmac from beneath the rear of his vehicle. He swung the car across the carriageway trying to fan the oil spray out as far as it would go in the hope that his pursuers wouldn't be able to change lanes to escape the stuff. As he dragged the wheel back, attempting to correct his course, grey mist suddenly flared into blinding brilliance and the wheel was dragged out of his hands.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Torchwood was busy. The monitors were processing information at an alarming rate but Tosh was positive that things were going well. She had checked and double checked, then gone back over things for a third time as well as baby sitting the computers all day long just in case. So far, things were going very well. The diagnostic program was running just as she predicted. She felt justifiably proud of herself for this one. In a week where they had been overrun with rift activity it was nice to have something more positive to report. This week had meant more work than normal, Owen had his hands full with five autopsies to complete, Ianto had more than his usual filing and reports to sort out and Gwen, well, Gwen was alternating between writing dummy police reports to cover their tracks, cancelling several awkward parking violations and improving her shooting on the range. The week had also brought its fair share of grief for their leader. Jack had spent some unhappy hours on the phone to UNIT which left him tense and irritable and to cap it all, he had fallen out with Ianto on some trivial matter, had a blazing row, and now Ianto wasn't talking to him. Tosh knew that Ianto was merely making a point and would patch it up soon, but for now it made for an awkward working atmosphere.

Tosh caught herself musing about the fact that, for some reason, Torchwood 3 had always operated with only four or five members of staff when it should, by rights, have had twice that. The stresses of the week had been magnified by the fact that there were only a few people for the work to fall to. Assistants would have made the job easier, but even Torchwood was accountable for funds and more staff were, at present, off limits. UNIT would always argue security issues, more staff meant a higher security risk, etc., etc., but it was a recurrent source of tension. They needed more help, especially in the field.

Suddenly the alarms went off again, pinpointing a rift spike somewhere towards the M4. "Not again" Tosh sighed and ran a check, trying to focus on exactly where the location was before Jack came bounding down the stairs and the others arrived. On queue, Owen darted through from the Autopsy room, carrying his kit. Gwen came up from the shooting range and Ianto appeared from the archives, carrying a stack of file boxes which he dumped on the coffee table. True to form, Jack came down from his office, dragging his coat on, complaining that he couldn't find the keys to the SUV. With a sigh, Ianto stepped forward, produced the keys and dropped them into his waiting hand. They exchanged a look that spoke volumes and Jack paused, grasping Ianto's hand along with the keys. Tosh noted they seemed to have perfected the silent communication and now had it down to a fine art, unless they had a telepathic gift they hadn't said anything about. Ianto's eyebrow raised a little, his glower of barely concealed anger directed at Jack. Jack lifted his chin slightly, almost but not quite defiantly, his own frown in place. Ianto put his head on one side, the glower softening. Jack deflated, looking at the ground. Ianto's fingers squeezed Jack's and let go the keys. It was over in a matter of seconds, but the truce was in place.

"Er…I've sent the co-ordinates to the SUV" Tosh announced, unwilling to intrude on the moment but she knew the situation was urgent "you shouldn't have a problem finding the site, it looks to be alongside the M4, but there's no indication of what's come through. Nothing on sensors yet. I'll stay here and keep monitoring"

"Good enough Tosh" Jack said "The rest of you, move!" and they left through the gate at high speed.

The M4 was busy. They joined it as it headed east, watching as the GPS on the SUV told them they were getting closer. The trouble was that the road was getting more congested and slower. Before they were within a mile, the traffic stopped, gridlocked. Jack turned off onto the hard shoulder, by-passing the queue of cars and more than a few angry-looking drivers. They got a further quarter mile before they saw the blue lights flashing.

"We're nearly on it" Gwen commented.

"Tosh, anything more about the exact location?"

"Sorry Jack, but this is making it look like its right on top of the motorway, you're almost on it"

They had to stop as they came up behind a police range rover, its blue lights rotating in the gathering gloom. Evening rush hour was at its peak and the road was totally blocked. They got out and walked forward, trying to see what the cause of the hold-up was. A burly policeman walked across to stop them and Jack's ID flashed.

"What the hell are you lot here for?" he asked incredulously "It's a traffic accident!"

"Involving what and who?" Jack asked bluntly.

"Three vehicles, one lost control on a patch of oil, slid into the back of the other one. Both of them were doing more than 90, judging by impact damage. Spun out of control, burst into flames, both drivers dead, vehicles are write-offs. The other one involved went over the edge and into the trees there. The driver of that one is alive, but he's pretty shaken up. As far as we know he doesn't have any serious injuries. He was lucky. Only thing out of the ordinary about this is he insists he's MI6. We're checking that right now"

"MI6? Where is he?"

The policeman pointed and Jack saw a blond-haired man sitting in the back of an ambulance parked on the hard shoulder, being attended by a green-clad ambulance technician. "What the hell is MI6 doing here?" Jack muttered, then tapped his ear-piece and said "Tosh, anything?"

"You're almost on top of it"

Jack spun but he couldn't see anything obvious. "Sorry Tosh, nothing yet" he turned to Gwen and Ianto "Both of you check out the area. Ianto, you take a look at the wreckage, see if you can see anything. Gwen, check the road, both sides, couple of hundred yards either direction. Owen, you're with me" and he walked off towards the ambulance.

As he approached the blond man looked up, a curious frown in place. There were a couple of cuts across his face presumably from flying glass, one arm was in a sling, he looked bloodied and bruised. "Name?" Jack demanded. The man looked up, piercing blue eyes meeting Jack's own with a level stare. Jack was struck by those eyes, at that moment very pale and cold as ice. Those eyes took a deliberately slow look up and down, taking in Jack's clothes, his ID and finally his face. Jack shivered involuntarily.

"And you are?" the voice was perfectly modulated English, almost too perfect and equally assertive.

"Captain Jack Harkness, and this is my colleague, Dr Owen Harper, we're Torchwood"

"Really? The name's Bond, James Bond. Sorry it wasn't in more auspicious circumstances. So you're our 'X-files', are you?"

Jack cocked an eyebrow "Actually there's a little more to it than that" he said "But it'll do for now. What happened?"

"I was being chased, I'm not sure I can explain what happened" he frowned, trying to remember "I can remember pushing 100 in the outside lane, trying to evade an overzealous pursuit. Then there was a blinding light in my eyes from somewhere and I lost control of the car"

"And you ended up in the woods there?"

"Yes"

"No tread marks on the road" Jack commented.

"You haven't understood me" he said "The car didn't go out of control, I lost control over it" he said "I know how crazy this sounds but it drove itself off the road and into the trees. My pursuers weren't so clever. My vehicle is customised, it has quite a few features, one of which drops oil on the road behind me. One of my pursuers must have lost control, hit the other and…" he shrugged "fireball I believe. Pity" this last was said with indifference. "And before you ask, no, my car is not customised to drive itself…I'm MI6, not bloody Knightrider"

A policeman arrived and said "Mr Bond Sir? We've just received a call from our Chief Inspector, he's been in touch with your HQ and they've confirmed your identity. He asks if you would contact your superior as soon as possible?"

"Thanks. Looks like I've been acknowledged" he tried to stand and swayed. Both Jack and Owen extended a hand to help him, supporting him as he got down from the ambulance. The grimace on his face suggested something was hurting.

"You OK?" Jack asked.

"No. Apparently I have mild concussion, several lacerations and contusions and I've damaged my shoulder, again. No doubt my pride will probably also take a hammering when I get back in touch with HQ, but nothing new there" he sighed and looked across the smouldering wreckage on the other side of the carriageway "It could have been worse"

"Didn't they want to ship you off to hospital?" Jack asked.

"They always do and I always refuse. I suppose I'll hitch a lift to the police station" he said, his face cracking at last in a smile "They'll send a car I expect" his expression turned bleak "Bloody strange" he commented "that light…"

"What was its position, can you remember if it was right in front of you?"

"No, off to the side…" he gestured to the edge of the carriageway "…a sudden burst, like a speed camera flash only a hundred times more powerful. It nearly blinded me but I've no lasting damage to my retina. Odd, very odd"

"Look, would you agree to come back to the Hub with us and let our Doctor here look you over? You've been in contact with something alien and we'd like to make sure you're OK, plus he can give you the once-over, more convenient than a hospital"

"Alien? You think that's what that light was?"

"Yes. Actually, we know it was. We were tracking an anomaly and it is here somewhere, but we haven't pinpointed its exact location"

"I think we have" Gwen said, joining them, Ianto at her heels. She was holding a large zip-lock plastic bag with an odd metallic object inside, a bronze block and pyramid construction about ten inches long "This might be our little culprit. It was sitting on the hard shoulder"

"Nice" Jack took the bag from her and peered at the odd alien script decorating its bronze surfaces. "How on earth did you find it?"

"If you turn it, you see how it catches the lights?"

Jack tumbled it about gently and saw the reflected blue glow from the police lamps "Let's get this to Tosh for analysis. I think it might be some kind of guidance equipment, something that locks onto a target and pulls it in"

"'tractor beam'?" Ianto suggested, seeing their blank expressions.

"You mean like in Star Trek?" Gwen asked and Jack nodded.

"Near as you can get I guess. This one is definitley malfunctioning though. Better bag it in something light proof, we don't want it going off while we're driving back" he turned to Bond "You can phone your boss from the Hub"

Bond was treated to the invisible lift when they arrived. "I know somebody who would give his eye teeth to see this" he murmured as they descended. He swept a glance around the hub as they dropped into the interior, taking in the workstations, the office, the rollling cog of an entry door. It was at that point that Myfanwy decided to fly past. Bond's face registered shock "Please tell me that is not what it looks like" he said, alarmed for the first time since they had met him. Few people had ever seen Bond without his unruffled calm exterior.

Jack laughed "Then you'll have to tell me what you think it looks like first" he replied.

"Time to stare later" Owen reminded, shepherding Bond through to the medical bay and avoiding questions about pterodactyls as he went.

Jack frowned as he handed the item to Tosh saying "Its all we could find"

"tractor beam" Ianto suggested helpfully.

"That'll be interesting" she said "but who's the cute guy?"

"MI6" he said, eyebrows raised expressively.

"Now, now, Jack" Ianto said warningly "off limits and you know it"

"Why? He's only MI6"

Tosh grinned, noting their previous disagreement seemed to be well and truly in the past.

"With those eyes, I'm only agreeable if you can get him to agree to a threesome"

"Ianto!" Gwen swatted him "You're as bad as Jack! What is he turning you into?"

"A raging nympho" Jack smirked, grabbing the younger man round the waist and hugging him tightly "And I love him for it!"

"Actually the male term is Satyriasis" Ianto said.

"Well, don't sound so proud of it!" she exclaimed and went back to her computer screen.

Jack and Ianto were acting suspicious in that they both went down to see their guest before Owen had finished with him. Sure enough, Owen had him sitting on the edge of the gurney, shirtless, submitting to being scanned. Jack bit back a sigh. Ianto looked over his shoulder and they stood for a moment admiring the tanned and muscular torso. "I'm in the wrong job" Ianto murmured

"Why, want to sign up for MI6?" Jack whispered.

"God no, Torchwood is nerve-wracking enough. Licence to kill and all that? What has he got that we haven't? No, I meant I ought to have been a doctor. They have a legitimate reason to get up close and personal"

"Yes, but if you were a doctor, that would then be unethical" Jack pointed out.

"Bugger ethics" Ianto muttered, his eyes on Bond's muscular chest.

"Hi again" Jack said loudly, eyes dancing, attempting to smother his laughter "I see Owen has everything under control" he walked into the room and down the stairs. Bond half-turned at the sound and smiled. This time the smile did reach his eyes.

"Can I get you anything Sir? Tea, coffee?" Ianto asked.

"Coffee would be good, in the absence of anything stronger"

"I have something stronger in my office" Jack suggested, his glance carrying such a blatant double entendre that Ianto almost groaned but he mastered the urge, smiled instead and said "Coffee it is then. I'll serve it in the boardroom…for everybody" and off he went. Never mind Jack's 'something stronger', he was about to surpass himself and make the best damn coffee of his lifetime…

There you go. Totally not sure about this, but those plot bunnies keep running around wanting to be tried out… What do you think?