A/N: Thank you for the alerts and reviews, I really appreciate. I forgot to mention in the first chapter. I do not own the characters; they belong to the talented Stephanie Meyer. I just like to play with them!
I threw the note and the rose on my desk, I would deal with it another time, another place. I got under the blankets and covered my face. I have always had a hard time sleeping. I don't like to sleep alone, I don't like total darkness, and I don't like feeling like someone has been in my house. I kept chanting to myself:
"No one is in here, no one is in here, that flower could have been left anytime, go to sleep, go to sleep"
Of course the flower could not have been left too long ago, as it was very much alive. The chanting continued, I would either go to sleep or drive myself crazy trying to.
"No Edward don't go, please don't go. I don't know how to live without you, I can't live without you. Please Edward, Please stay. Please love me, please love me"
Edward looked so distant, so far away, but he was standing only inches from me. I longed to reach out to him, to stroke his cheek, to grab his hand but he looked so cold, so mean, he looked like a vampire.
"Bella, I have to go you know this. I am no good for you; you need to lead a happy human life. Remaining in your life is wrong, and it is dangerous."
"I don't care Edward, I don't care. All I need is you, you are all I want. I can't breathe when you are away from me"
I struggled to make my limbs move, I needed to feel him. I hesitantly reached for him and he backed away, causing a whoosh of air to go through me. He didn't want me to touch him? I repulsed him that much? I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, it was all happening to fast.
"Isabella, please be reasonable. You are human; you will move on without me, it is what humans do. You will be fine, you will forget I ever existed; you will live a happy human life. You will graduate high school, marry a man and have lots of babies. Like you are supposed to."
Like I am supposed to? No, no, no I am supposed to be with Edward.
"No Edward, you are wrong. You are who I am supposed to be with, don't you love me Edward? How can you just leave me? What did I do wrong?"
He was still showing no emotion, just staring at me like I was the most uninteresting creature he had ever laid eyes on. My heart broke more and more.
"Isabella, we are leaving, all of us. I loved you, but you are not good for me Bella. I need to move on; you do not fit into my life, into my family's life. We have spent far too much time here already. I will remember you, but we move on quickly."
There leaving? All of them? My best friend Alice? My teddy bear big brother Emmett? Sweet, Sweet caring, loving Esme? They are leaving me? I don't fit? I slumped down, I was done. The emotions were taking over. My life as I knew it was ending.
"I don't understand Edward. You are all leaving? When? Will I see them? Please, I don't understand"
I couldn't breathe, I felt like at any minute my heart was going to pound right out of my chest and land on the cold grass.
"They already left, I am the last one here, I am here to say goodbye"
"NO Edward"
"Yes, Isabella. Be happy. "
"No Edward, wait Edward, Please!!"
I woke up screaming, covered in sweat, my cell phone alarm screaming at me to shut it off. I have had that dream to many times to count. I always wake up in the same fashion – screaming.
However, today was not about Edward. Today was about Charlie. And as much as my emotions were getting to me, I would push them to the back, just as I have done for these past three years.
He does not love you, he never did. He left you and took his family with him. He told you to be happy and to move and have lots of babies. I am sure he is happy, and in love and dating some gorgeous vampire supermodel and laughing about the mousey girl from Forks.
I moved on. I have a life, a good life. I have a man that loves me for me, that loves all my insecurities, just as much as he loves my quirks. Chad. Chad is my boyfriend. I have Chad.
I need to stop having conversations with myself to prove that Chad is the one. Chad is the one, Edward is gone. Even if he comes back, I am no longer available to him. Even if he did come back, I am sure it was only because of Charlie. Charlie and Alice were quite attached at one time, and I am sure she saw this and felt the need to check up on the situation. I am sure I have heard the last from them.
After giving myself a quick pep talk, I went into the bathroom to get dressed. I needed to get to the hospital. I needed to find out all the information I could on Charlie. After eating a quick breakfast, I headed out to my car, and drove to Forks general hospital.
I had been to Forks hospital many times over the years, the ER doctors knew be my name, I am almost positive I have my own filing cabinet. That is what you get when you are the world's biggest klutz. Today was different though, this was not about me, Charlie was sick. Every time I thought about my dad, and how I just up and left him and moved 2000 miles away, a pit would grow in my stomach and I wanted to vomit.
I abandoned by my father over a man, I could not deal with all my emotions so I ran away and never looked back. I was an awful daughter. I deserved to be in that hospital bed, not Charlie. All Charlie wanted was for me to be happy. Once Edward left he tried so hard to make me happy. He hated Edward for leaving. He hated that I was closing myself off. Once Edward left, he tried to hook me up with his best friend's son Jacob. He tried to push us together so many times, it was silly. Jacob was 2 years younger than I, and he could never capture my heart the way Edward had. There was no way to get over Edward and the Cullen family while living in Washington. I had to escape; I had to get out of there to save myself from the mental breakdown that was going to occur. In my escaping, I abandoned my father.
Stepping out of the car I rushed into the hospital, past the reception area and made my way to ICU. I called the ICU nurses station to be let in the ward. Once I was let in a tall, slender woman showed me to my dad's room. I stood outside, trying to catch my breath, check my emotions. I was not sure what I would see, but I knew I had to be strong, I would be strong.
Entering the room, I saw a man who looked 20LBS thinner than Charlie, who looked paler than normal, had dark circles under his eyes, bruising on his cheek. Charlie had a heart attack, he was not beat up, or in accident, why the bruising? Why the skin dis-colorization. My heart was breaking, what happened to my father? I took the seat located next to Charlie's bed and held his hand. He had IV's and tubes everywhere, and I had to be very careful not to disturb anything he was hooked up to. Great another thing to worry about!
About an hour or so later Dr. Marlow emerged.
"Bella, I hope you got rest last night"
"Good Morning Dr. And yes, I got as much rest as can be expected. Can you give me any more information about Charlie?" He looked at me with sad eyes I knew whatever he was going to say was not going to be good.
"Well, he made it through the night, but he is not out of the woods, far from it unfortunately. Bella your father is very sick and s going to require quite a lot of care"
Very sick? He had a heart attack, but he will get better, he has to get better. Once he recovers, we will put him on a new diet, monitor is fat intake, of course he will get better.
"I am sorry Dr. very sick? What kind of care?"
"After further review of your father's case and working with a colleague, your father suffers from dilated Cardiomyopathy. This disease causes the heart cavity to become enlarged and stretched"
What? I don't understand? I thought he had a heart attack?
"I don't understand, can you break it down in non-doctor terminology?"
"Bella, I think it would be better if I brought in our cardiothoracic attending physician, he will be able to give you more details, and help you better understand your father prognosis. He should be in shortly, I apologize I cannot be of more assistance, I think it is better if we wait for the specialist."
Waiting.. You want me to wait more? All I have done is wait. I want answers!
"When will he be here, how long will I have to wait? There is family and friends waiting for this information"
"Dr. Cullen should be here shortly Bella, we will return to the room then"
What? I must have misheard him. Dr. Cullen? Dr. Carlisle Cullen? No, they left Forks, they are not here. Of course there is more than one family with the name Cullen. Cullen is a popular name, plenty of Doctors with that name, I am sure. I could feel myself in full panic mode, my palms were getting sweaty, my heart rate was picking up, I could hear beeping distantly, then there was black.
I was drifting, floating. I was happy in a bubble.
"Bella. Bella, can you hear me? She is coming to, just give her a moment"
That voice was familiar; I did not want to hear that voice, I squeezed my eyelids tighter wishing it all to go away. This was all a dream; I was in NY at work. That's it I am lost in a book, I am not in Forks.
"Bella, Bella. Wake up Bella, open your eyes"
That's when I felt it, a cold hand on my cheek. Not the cold where someone was just outside, no this was ice cold, frigid. This was a vampire touching my cheek, this was Dr. Carlisle Cullen. As soon as that realization hit me, I bolted upright, and out of his grasp.
"Bella, slow down we don't want you to hurt yourself"
He let out a little chuckle, I was beyond annoyed. Why does everyone hate me? I swayed a bit and made it to my feet, and crossed the room to sit with Charlie once again. I was perplexed by the situation and had no idea what I should be doing.
Was I happy to see Carlisle? Yes and no, I missed the Cullen's greatly, but I was not a part of them any longer, and this would only cause pain. If Carlisle is working here, they must be living here again. Why had Charlie not told me this? Oh, that's right because I abandoned him, and if he ever wanted his daughter home again, he knew telling me that information would make me run the other direction forever.
Pull yourself together Bella, this about Charlie not the Cullen's. About Charlie, think Charlie. Charlie, Charlie, Charlie
"Dr. Cullen, can you please provide me the details of my father? I am anxious to hear his prognosis, he has friends and family waiting for this information, and I would like to provide them some ease"
I tried to be strong, to look him right in the eye. This was about Charlie.
"Bella, I am sorry if this situation makes you uncomfortable, I only am here to help. My family has always been fond of Charlie and you…."
Excuse me? Fond of me? That's why you took off without a goodbye? Fond of me?
I interrupted him quickly, not wanting or needing him to finish his thought, it would only cause more pain and confusion.
"Dr. Cullen if you.."
"Bella, call me Carlisle"
This conversation was getting us nowhere.
"Fine, Carlisle, I only care to know of my father's prognosis, I do not care to delve into the past with you. The past is just that the past. As I have mentioned for the last 24HRS, there are a lot of people invested in Charlie and are all wanting information in regards to his prognosis. Dr. Marlow mentioned a heart disease but would not go into any specifics. I would appreciate as much information as you can provide so I can decide what is in my father's best interest. If you could please provide that?"
I am strong. I am only here for Charlie. Once the information is provided I will determine a plan of action. The Cullen's will not take pity on me or my father. There are other doctors available, I do not want to be pitied, or helped out of obligation.
"Yes, Bella where would you like me to begin?"
AN: So what do you think? As I mentioned before, I really need a BETA, not sure how to go about getting one I have an outline out about 25 chapters or so, and would love your input. Thank you for taking the time to review.