Revised and updated with additional content!

The boys, as usual, are teens in this fic.

Warnings: Yaoi and language.

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

Popcorn

by Mootycakes

"It's been ten minutes Kenny," Stan starts to complain. "It doesn't take that long to make popcorn."

The blond rolls his eyes at his friend. "Geez Stan, don't get your panties in a bunch. If you want it that bad, go make it yourself. They're probably fighting again anyway." Kenny hands him his bowl. "Fill mine up for me too, will ya?"

Stan pinches the bridge of his nose and takes the bowl from him. 'Lazy bastard,' he thinks and marches off towards the kitchen.

Stan slows down as he approaches his destination hearing Kyle and Cartman speaking quietly.

"We should get back before someone catches us here."

"Shut it Jew, no one's going to walk in on us."

"I just don't want to risk it, Eric."

'Eric?!' Stan thinks in shock. 'Since when does Kyle call fatass anything but Cartman?!' Stan slowly walks up to the doorway and peeks inside, going pale at the sight before him. Cartman has Kyle pinned against the island counter and is thoroughly ravishing his neck. Kyle moans heavily and tilts his head back, blushing lightly, giving Cartman better access.

Cartman stops kissing Kyle's to whisper in his ear, "I love you."

Stan doesn't have the chance to hear Kyle's reply as he starts to vomit uncontollably, getting the others' attention.

Kyle shoves Cartman away from him and glares at the other teen. "I fucking knew this was going to happen! But no, you couldn't keep your hands to yourself!" Kyle starts to rant at his apparent boyfriend.

"Oh God!" Stan exclaims. "I'm going to be sick again!" He starts gagging so Kyle grabs the trashcan and forces it into his hands.

"If you're going to puke, at least do it in there," Kyle says to him.

"How long has this been going on?" Stan asks the other two.

Cartman glares at him and folds his arms across his chest. "It's none of your business you fucking hippie."

"Don't call me a hippie you fucking fatass!"

"I'm not fat anymore you tree-hugging faggot!"

"Oh yeah, that's rich," Stan starts. "This is coming from the guy who was making out with my best friend. My male best friend! I can't fucking believe this shit."

"Will you guys cut it the fuck out?" Kyle yells at them both. "He's right, Stan, this really isn't any of your business, but we've been dating for almost a year now."

"A year?" Stan cries. "This bullshit has been going on for a year? Why the fuck would you want to have anything to do with that fat piece of shit?"

"Ay! I told you I'm not fat you fucking piece of shit!"

"Cartman!" Kyle yells. "You're not helping anything. Let me do the talking." Cartman glares and huffs and rolls his eyes, but he nods his agreement and looks away from the super best friends.

"This isn't that big of a deal, Stan," Kyle explains. "The only reason I wanted to keep it a secret is because I knew you were going to act like this and I didn't want to screw up our friendship."

"You're damn right this is going to screw up our friendship!" Stan exclaims. "Keeping some things secret is one thing, but this is really fucked up. Seriously? Cartman? He's an anti-Semitic psychopath who made our lives, especially yours, a living hell when we were kids. What the fuck could you possibly see in him?"

Cartman seethes and starts to open his mouth to defend himself when Kyle puts a hand on his arm and stops him. He looks back at Stan sadly and sighs. "You're right about a lot of those things Stan, but like you said, that was when we were kids. It's all in the past and we've talked and gotten over it. I shouldn't have to explain myself to you. I've never lectured you on your choice of partner even though she's a bitch who cheats on you all the time. So you don't have the right to lecture me about mine. Unless he actually fucks up, you don't get to give me crap about this."

Stan throws the trashcan back into his kitchen and glares at his friends. "I cannot deal with this shit right now. Just, get the fuck out of my house."

Kyle looks at Stan shocked and his eyes start to water. "But Stan," he starts. "I figured..."

Cartman shakes his head and puts his arm around Kyle's shoulders. "Come on, Jew. Let's get out of here. We can go to my house and hang out. You and the hippie can talk later. Go get our jackets, I have something to say before we go."

Kyle nods and walks out of the kitchen with his shoulders slumped. Kenny hops up from the couch when he sees Kyle coming back alone. "What the hell have you guys been doing in there this whole time? Fucking each other? You've missed a bunch of the movie!" Kenny starts to laugh until he takes a look at Kyle's face. "Dude, are you alright? What's wrong?"

Kyle sighs at him and shakes his head. "Just forget it Kenny, I don't want to talk about it right now." He moves to grab his and Eric's coats from the rack. "It's a fucking mess." He takes a deep breath to calm himself and refuses to allow any tears to fall. 'Stan will get over this eventually,' he thinks. 'Our friendship has survived crazier stuff than this.'

"Oh," Kenny starts. "Did Stan find out about you and Cartman?"

Kyle drops the coats and spins around to look at the blond. "You knew about us?"

"Yeah well it was pretty fucking obvious if you ask me, but then again, I notice things that most people never see," he starts. "I'm surprised you didn't get together sooner actually. You guys have been dancing around each other for years, but it was about time. I thought the sexual tension between you two was going to kill me." He laughs at the gobsmacked expression on Kyle's face. "I think you guys can be good for each other. Someone needs to keep that lunatic in check and he's pretty good at getting you to relax and let loose once in awhile."

Kyle smiles at his friend. "Well I'm glad you approve, but Stan flipped his shit and kicked us out." He sighs again. "I seriously hope that Cartman isn't doing anything stupid in there. Not that I'm really in the mood to give a shit about Stan at the moment."

"Eh, I'm sure Stan will be alright," Kenny shrugs. "Cartman rarely does anything that causes permanent damage."

Kyle rolls his eyes and laughs at his friend. "Yeah lucky for us."

"Anyway, I'm sure once Stan thinks it over he'll get over it. You guys have been friends for too long to just let it go now. Besides, I'll be here to help convince him that it's okay."

"Thanks Ken, you're a really good friend."

The boys hear a crash coming from the kitchen and look over to see Cartman strutting down the hallway with a smug expression on his face. "What did you do?" Kyle asks him.

"Oh," he gives his boyfriend an innocent look. "I didn't do anything that he didn't ask for."

"Dammit, Eric!" he yells and tries to shove past him to go back into the kitchen.

Cartman grabs him and hugs him before he can leave the room. "I'm seriously, Kyle. I didn't do anything that will hurt him. He's a stupid hippie and I hate him, but he's your super gay best friend so I won't do anything debilitating to him."

Kyle looks at him shocked before giving Cartman a quick peck on the lips. "Thanks."

"And this totally proves my point," Kenny chuckles at his friends. "You guys can get out of here if you want. I'll take care of Stan and calm him down."

"Thanks Ken!" Kyle smiles at his friend.

"Yeah. Thanks, poor boy!" Cartman yells.

Kyle rolls his eyes, grabs their coats off the floor, and the two head out. "This is as nice as you're ever going to get isn't it?"

Cartman gives the red head a look. "I think you already know the answer to that, mein Schönheit."

Kyle blushes and smiles at his boyfriend.

Author's Note: I just love it when Stan vomits at anything remotely sexual, especially when it's all over Wendy. XD Please review guys!