Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or The Goo Goo Dolls.. I don't think I own anything important.

*~*~*

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies. When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive. – Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls

*~*~*

It's been less than a day since he last saw her.

He misses her.

He won't admit it out loud. He never does.

It's just there in the back of his mind, that feeling that she should be here, listening to his rants and explanations, watching in confusion as he says something totally unrelated to whatever they're supposed to be doing.

She would always shake her head in exasperation and go back to whatever she had been doing before.

That was the way it was.

*~*~*

It's been a week since he last saw her.

He still looks at his phone every five seconds, seeing if she's called yet. She never has.

It's atypical for her. She has called him half a dozen times in an hour to see if he's alright. The messages would get more and more angry and worried. Until he called back.

She would sigh in relief and relax.

Not a single message, not a single word. Nothing.

*~*~*

It's been a month since he last saw her.

He doesn't cry because he knows he can't.

He's only cried a few times in his life, not counting when he was a baby.

First, when he was 7, and his mother had died. The fact that he knew she would never come back had tortured him.

Second, when he was 17, and his girlfriend had been in a fatal car crash. He had seen so many girls since then it was ridiculous.

Third, when his best friend had been shot and killed on an empty rooftop by a sniper rifle. She had been 31 at the time of her death.

Fourth, when his almost-lover had died in a fiery explosion, after sacrificing herself to save him and his friends' lives.

Fifth, when his girlfriend had found out about the façade and had abandoned him. He still misses her.

Sixth, when his boss' boss died. He knows that he could have saved her had he disobeyed her direct order and followed her.

Lastly, the day his best friend and lover had put a gun to his chest in anger, after he had killed her boyfriend. She hadn't trusted him. She thought it was all a lie. Maybe it had been, but there was a moment of truth there somewhere.

It was funny how he had only cried about women.

*~*~*

It's been six months since he last saw her.

He's all but given up. She hasn't called. She probably never will.

He overhears his boss say something, something about a terrorist camp in some godforsaken African nation. And he hears nothing else.

She was an enigma. Someone so against terrorists who had killed so many because of her line of work. Because of her father.

He thinks about that orange beanie she wore all the time, the occasional splashes of color that flattered her so well. Like a rainbow.

His mind drifts to the ancient Greek goddess, Iris, the goddess of the rainbow and the messenger of the gods. For some reason, she reminds him of Iris.

He hears her name in the conversation. She's been found at the terrorist camp. She's barely alive.

*~*~*

It's been eight months since he last saw her.

Nobody has heard a word since they found out that she had been rescued.

In anger, he steps out of the car, looking for the suspect. The suspect panics at the sight of the agent and pulls out a gun. Before he can react, the suspect pulls a gun and fires. He feels sharp, warm pain as the bullet hits his arm. In pain, he falls to the ground, clutching at the wound. There is another shot, and the pain shoots across his abdomen. As it all fades to black, he sees people running, hears sirens.

And another gunshot.

He doesn't know who is hit.

In the back of the mind, he can't help but think of two things.

One, that he might never see her again.

Two, that he's seen this movie before.

*~*~*

He swears he sees her at the hospital.

Drifting in and out of consciousness in an ICU, after surgery to repair his damaged internal organs and his arm. So doped up on morphine that he can't see straight.

And he sees someone who could be her twin at the least walk past his room, never casting a glance.

He decides that it's the morphine.

*~*~*

It's been ten months since he last saw her officially.

The cast is off of his arm and his physical therapist says that he is allowed to return to work. Happily, he walks into the squadroom, where his friends all greet him in their own ways.

And then he sees her desk again.

The pain returns.

*~*~*

He finally receives that call exactly eleven months and 17 days later.

The only thing she says is sorry.

He forgives her.

*~*~*

It's been a year since he last saw her.

He sits at his desk, waiting for something interesting to happen.

The elevator dings to signal its arrival and he reflexively looks up.

She walks into the squadroom and he nearly gasps at the visible changes. Her hair, once down to her waist, now cut just above her shoulders. Paler, as if she's been inside for months. And there are scars now marring her body, visible memories of what he might never know the full story behind.

He stands up, unsure of himself. She walks back to her desk and sits down as if she's never left. Nobody says a thing, just goes back to their work somewhat reluctantly. She types on her computer, her fingers somewhat stiff, scarred from what looks like burns and cuts. She doesn't say a thing, just acts as if everything is normal again.

When she notices him staring, she sends him a glare that could melt the Arctic shelf.

He smiles, then sits down. She can take care of herself.

*~*~*

She knocks on his door.

Drowsily, he opens it, wondering who could be at his house at 2320. He sees her standing there, looking at him with sorrowful eyes. Wordlessly, he takes her hand and ushers her in. Once inside, she looks at him, searching for some inner strength. But he finds his first.

He says he's sorry.

She forgives him.

*~*~*

She tells him there's someone she wants him to meet.

He stares at her, confused.

She walks outside for a few minutes, and comes back with a pink bundle.

She tells him the baby is her daughter.

She tells him that the child is 5 months old.

He tries to do the math.

She tells him that the baby's name is Iris.

The baby girl opens her eyes at that moment, looking right at him.

Blue-green.

*~*~*

It's been a day since she came back.

And everyone has been forgiven.

His best friend, his lover, his partner in crime, his ninja.

His guardian.

His angel.

His Iris.

*~*~*

So take these words and sing out loud, 'cause everyone is forgiven now. 'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again. – Better Days, The Goo Goo Dolls

*~*~*

A/N: I freaking love this story. I don't know why. Maybe it's the songs, maybe it's the fact that Iris is my favorite of the Greek goddesses, maybe it's the fact that it's NCIS, but I really couldn't tell you. So please review.

And I'll give you ten points if you can figure out who Iris's – the baby – father is.

But this story is here to set up my series. I hope you like it.