Soon, It Won't Be Just Pretend

Summary: 1st in my human!Castiel series. Dean finds Castiel injured, and does his best to help him. But when the angel confesses his love for the hunter, how will Dean react to the admission? Dean/Castiel eventually, boy kissing.

A/N: Sorry if there is any out of characterness ... italics are flashbacks. I also will be adding some angels into the story. I've done research on names and meanings, but if anything is wrong, let me know. Thanks x

A/N #2: This story is also 'This Fire In My Skin' but I have decided to re-write it as some reviews have pointed out that it is out of character and going too fast. So I have decided to alter it and re-post. I am really sorry to the people who were enjoying it. But I hope you like it a bit better after I have fixed it. Cheers, guys. XD I also changed the title, personally, I like this one better.

******

There were definitely a few things about angels that Dean Winchester was fairly certain about.

One; they had no sense of humour. That had come clearly when Castiel wasn't able to understand a joke Dean had made. He had just stared at him blankly, making Dean roll his eyes and want to forget he had said anything in the first place.

Two; they had no sense of personal space. Dean had realised this when they had been in Bobby's kitchen and Castiel told him he could throw him back into the pit without a moment's hesitation. It wasn't that Dean feared Castiel, but the closeness and the tone he used while he said this made Dean fear this man, this angel, more than he had done in the short time he had known Castiel.

And three; they appeared out of nowhere, and, literally, made you shit yourself. Dean had encountered Castiel showing up out of nowhere many-a-time. In the Impala, the motel room, when he turned corners, Castiel was there, in the shower, even once when he was on the crapper, but Castiel didn't seem fazed, until Dean mentioned to him about using the front door.

That's what happened one night in motel room, when Dean got the shock of his life.

******

Dean was sitting in the motel room by himself. Sammy had buggered off, no doubt, to be with that demon bitch, Ruby. He hated the thought of his brother with her. God knows what she was doing to him. He really didn't want to think about it. He was lazily flicking through TV channels. Not even any decent porn on TV. He switched it off and got up, heading to the bathroom to wash up. That was when the door went. Four short knocks. Dean sighed.

"Sammy, you should remember your key ..." Dean shouted, before moving over to open the door. He stopped short when he saw Castiel, leaning against the door frame in obvious pain, and tears in his eyes.

"Dean ..." he breathed out, with some effort, before he almost collapsed. Dean caught him as he fell forward. He did his best to lift him into his arms and carried him over to the bed. He laid him down on his back, earning a howl of pain from the angel and he rolled onto his side.

"Jesus, Cas. What the hell happened to you?" Dean asked, squatting down next to the bed to look into Castiel's eyes. That's when he noticed the blood on his shirt, trenchcoat, staining his tie and even his skin.

"Dean ... " Castiel breathed again. "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad I found you ..." He spoke softly, in a weak voice.

"Cas, tell me what happened ... please?" Dean said. Castiel looked into Dean's eyes. He nodded and began to tell Dean what had happened.

----

Castiel was sitting in a small park near the Winchester's motel when he was joined by another angel. He looked over at the other being.

"Abdiel, what can I do for you?" he asked, looking back out to the children playing.

"Father wishes you back to Heaven for the moment. Metatron and Zachariah are waiting for you. There is something they wish to discuss with you ..." Abdiel told him before he disappeared. Castiel sighed and vanished from his spot on the park bench.

He was met by four stern looking angels as he arrived in Heaven. Two of them moved forward and grabbed Castiel by the arms, as Zachariah and Metatron walked away, the other angels dragging Castiel after them. He didn't struggle. He knew what was happening. He would have to be punished for helping Dean get rid of Lilith.

The two angels holding him pulled at his trenchcoat, jacket, shirt and tie until his chest was bare in front of the higher angels.

"You have disobeyed, Castiel," Metatron said. It wasn't a question. "You now have to be punished." Castiel watched as the two angels moved away and came back with whips, that almost seemed to glow.

"Hold him down," Zachariah said. He looked down at Castiel. His eyes almost said 'I'm sorry but I have to do this.' The two angels who had hold of Castiel held him down.

"These wounds will be inflicted on your immortal soul, Castiel. Your vessel will suffer too ... then your grace will be taken from you and you will be left with human pain, human emotions. And you will never dark in Heaven's doorway again," Metatron said, unfurling the whip and taking a few practise shots at thin air before laying one hard lash of the whip along Castiel's back. The pain didn't hurt his vessel. It wouldn't until his grace was gone, but it seemed to travel below the skin and down into his angelic being. He could feel its mark on it.

More lashes came, over and over the space of half an hour, then an hour. His vessel was bleeding freely and his immortal soul was in agony. He was ready for another lash but it never came. He opened his eyes and looked up at the two powerful angels.

"That should be enough to teach you a lesson. Now you will suffer as a mortal," Metatron said. He grabbed Castiel by the chin and began chanting an incantation, making Castiel's eyes and mouth glow as his grace began to come away from his vessel. Castiel could feel himself become weaker; he could feel the pain on his vessel. Suddenly, his grace came free from the vessel, making Castiel almost scream with pain, and was contained in a little glass vial around Metatron's neck. He threw Castiel's shirt, jacket and trenchcoat back at the bleeding ... human. Castiel struggled to stand up to pull on his clothes, his vessel in pain and his eyes streaming at the vision of Heaven before his eyes. If he didn't get out of there soon, he would lose his sight. Humans couldn't look upon an angel's true being or Heaven.

"You'll learn human pain, Castiel. You are a sinner, and know nothing of obedience," Metatron spat. "I never want to see you again."

The next thing Castiel knew he was in an alleyway near the Winchester's motel room. He got up from where he was on the ground and he moved towards Dean's room, as fast as the pain would allow him to move. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he moved, his eyes burning and his back bleeding. He knocked on Dean's door.

----

"Jesus, Cas," Dean said. There was a hell of a lot of blood on the back of Castiel's trenchcoat. "Cas, let me see." The angel – ex angel – was reluctant but he eventually got up, with a little help from Dean, and he stripped off his trenchcoat, his suit jacket. The back of his white shirt was caked in blood. It was sticking to his back and painful to pull off. It eventually came away and Dean's eyes widened at the sight. There were at least a hundred, maybe more, large gashes across Castiel's back, most overlapping each other. There was also two large bleeding slits, completely vertical, one just underneath each shoulder blade. Dean assumed that was where Castiel's wings would have been.

"What happened to your wings?" Dean said. Castiel closed his eyes.

"They were cut off," was all he said. His voice gave away his emotions, something that had never happened before with Cas.

"Sit down, and don't move," Dean said, before moving to the bathroom and running the bath, making sure the water was alright for Castiel to get into without causing himself any more pain. He could see the pain in Castiel's face playing over and over again. He was broken from her thoughts when he heard Castiel sobbing in the bedroom.

"Cas, come in here," Dean said. He waited a moment and Castiel came hobbling into the bathroom, wincing in pain, tears staining his cheeks. Dean knelt down and he unlaced Castiel's shoes and removed them and his socks.

"Can you take off your trousers?" Dean asked, noticing the pain in Castiel's face. He managed to get his belt and button undone but he couldn't bend down to lower his trousers. Dean noticed this and he did it for him, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks, as the angel – man – in front of him was almost naked. He quickly took off Cas' boxers for him and helped him into the bath. He winced and a tear slid down his cheek, as his sore back was touched by the hot water. He drew his knees up to his chest and he rested his chin on his knees. Dean grabbed a wash cloth from the sink and he rolled up his jeans to his knees and took off his shoes and socks, before sitting on the ledge at the back of the bath, with his feet in the water.

He dipped the cloth into the water and touched it to Castiel's back, who whimpered in pain.

"So you're human now?"

Castiel nodded. "I am."

"I'm sorry, Castiel. It's my fault." Dean washed at Castiel's back, wincing himself at the sight of the injuries.

"No, Dean. I was instructed not to help you, but I did. I did it off my own back, not because you asked. Don't ever blame yourself," Castiel said. "I am sorry you have to see me like this."

"No, Cas. I want to help you."

******

Soon, Castiel was cleaned, bandaged and was sitting on Dean's bed wearing a Metallica t-shirt and some sweatpants. In Dean's opinion, he looked positively adorable in the slightly oversized clothes. Ok, I did not just say 'adorable.'

"You take my bed, Cas. I'll take Sammy's. Somehow I don't think he'll be home tonight," Dean said. Cas tilted his head a little.

"Dean, do you believe in fate?"

Dean thought for a moment. Sometimes he did, other times, no he didn't. "Why?"

"I just wondered if you thought that fate brought us together. You and I," Castiel asked. "I know getting you out of Hell doesn't really count as fate, but I think it was." Dean looked confused at this sudden revelation.

"Cas ... I don't understand what you are trying to say," he said, sitting down on the bed, next to Castiel, who turned to look at him with his bluer-than-blue eyes. He waited on Cas' explanation. But it never came.

He kissed Dean instead. "I love you, Dean," he whispered.

Dean was shocked, not responding to the kiss. He pushed Castiel back, surprising the smaller man. "Don't, Cas," he said. Castiel's brow furrowed, and he tilted his head in that confused way of his.

"What is the matter, Dean?" Castiel asked. Dean stood up, his hand raking through his hair. He laughed, a low, mocking laugh.

"Castiel ..." he said, shocking Cas at the use of his full name. "You can't go around kissing other men and telling them you love them like that. It's not right. You can't kiss me, and expect me to kiss you back." Castiel looked down at his feet, hurt at Dean's words.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I did not know you felt this way ..." he said. Dean moved over to him.

"Cas, listen. You are my friend. But that's it. Whatever feelings you have for me, I cannot return them. I don't love you. I'm sorry ..." he said. Castiel was still looking at his own feet.

"I understand," he said. He moved onto the bed and got under the sheets, pulling them up to his chin, facing away from the other bed, away from Dean. Dean sighed deeply, and pulled off his clothes before getting into the other bed. He pulled the sheets up, a tear sliding down his cheek before he fell asleep, dreams of Hell plaguing his mind once again.

Okay guys, I thought about going for the 'Dean doesn't return Cas' feelings and makes Cas upset' route, as I realised that the relationship in 'This Fire In My Skin' was too fast in the first chapter. So I hope you like the alterations. Sorry again for people who were liking the story. Hope you like this version better. XD