Baby Steps! Yay!

Just a heads up...if you haven't read "I'd Lie" you might be a little lost..

Thanks to in the hallway with jeans for editting this for me =)

Emmett stepped closer still, reached out, and took her hand in his. She was shaking.

"Is this okay?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper. Rose took a few deep, steadying breaths before nodding. "Do you think I can give you a hug?" Emmett asked, seriously. As much as it hurt her to do it, she shook her head.

"But this is okay?" he held up their hands. She nodded again. Emmett smiled. "Baby steps are still steps." He said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze and grinning down at her.

~Baby Steps~

Saturday, January 12th, 2009

My New Year's Resolution. Well, This isn't really a resolution...more like a goal. But it counts, right?

I want Emmett to be able to give me a hug. Hopefully, it won't take an entire year, but who knows? Maybe it will.

It's now the beginning of January. Emmett's become my closest friend, next to Alice, of course. But then, she's always been a little bit more like an older sister. So, I guess Emmett really is my closest friend.

But, the question, as I lie awake, staring at my ceiling at three in the morning, is...

How annoyed would he be if I woke him up just to tell him I had a nightmare?

I'd been thinking about this for the past half hour, getting as far as dialing his number a couple of times.

I could've just gone and woken up Alice. Maybe even Jasper, this was true. But...with things like this, I preferred Emmett. Whenever the subject of...what happened last fall came up, Jasper went all protective older brother… in a bad way. Alice would always try way too hard to understand. I loved them both, really...they just weren't what I needed.

Just do it already. I told myself, and dialed Emmett's number very quickly, and pressed the little green button on my phone. As soon as I put it up to my ear, I could feel myself start shaking. What was I thinking? It's three in the morning!

The phone rang three times before Emmett answered. "What the hell!? Do you know what time it is?" he asked, sounding very annoyed and half asleep.

"Yes." I said in a small, scared voice, feeling stupid for calling him.

"Rosie?" Emmett asked, suddenly wide awake. I heard him sit up. "Rose?" he asked again, in a slightly worried, more alert voice.

"Yeah, it's me." I said, still in the same timid voice.

"Hi...are you okay? What's the matter?" he asked, his voice softening. "I'm sorry. I thought it was Edward or someone." He attempted to explain himself.

I decided to just get to the point. "I had a bad dream." I said quietly, feeling like a little kid as I said it.

"Oh..." Emmett said softly. "About...?" he trailed off.

"Yeah." I said shortly.

"Want to tell me about it?" he asked. Did I?

"Not really. I just wanted to talk to someone, I think." I answered, still in my quiet voice.

"Okay. I'm here, if you need me." he said, and, thankfully, not sounding annoyed at how stupid I was being. "And, Rosie?"

"Hm?"

"It was only a dream." He said. "I won't let anything happen to you. You don't need to be scared." He said, and I could almost hear him blush through the phone. I smiled, a little sadly.

"You can't promise me that, Emmett. But thanks for being here. Night." I said, and hung up.

~Rosalie Lillian Hale~

School. I hated school. I hated how either Bella or Alice would pick me up and drop me off for every class, make sure that no one got too close to me in the halls.

I rolled out of bed as I heard Alice skipping and singing down the halls. I'd known Alice for years and years, and she'd always been way too chipper in the mornings. Sometimes I wondered how Jasper put up with her.

I put on the outfit that I'd picked out the night before, a blue plaid shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows and a sash/belt thingy, and a pair of grey pants. Then, standing in front of the mirror on my dresser, I carefully brushed out my long hair.

I knew I was beautiful. I was a professional model, remember? Well, technically, I still am, just...taking some time off.

Alice pounded on my door, then bounced inside. "Good morning!" she sang. I shot a glare at her. Why was she so loud in the mornings? "I brought you coffee! She said cheerfully, holding out the thermos in her hand. I grabbed it from her, smiling gratefully. How had I ever thought she was annoying?

I felt better about my morning attitude when my darling older brother showed up in my doorway, still half asleep, still wearing a tee shirt and boxers.

"Pants, Jasper! Jeez!" I yelled. Alice glanced behind her and laughed.

Jasper blinked, looked down and muttered, "Pants. Pants are a good thing," in a sleepy voice, then shuffled back out of my room.

"Go help him, please." I told Alice, she nodded with a small smile on her face, then danced back out of the room.

I followed her halfway, and shut my door again, then went back to the mirror. Like I said, I knew I was beautiful, but looking at the face in the mirror, I felt like...like there was something missing. Like there should be mud, or some kind of filth smeared all over me.

You know, when you hear about how women feel dirty after...something like this happens, it sounds kinda weird, doesn't it? But...it's true. You do feel dirty. Dirty, and used, and...and...

I turned away from the mirror so fast my hair whipped me in the face. I wasn't going to think about that anymore. I slipped on a pair of shoes, and picked my light pink parka up off my desk, and shook it out.

Time for another day to begin.

~Rosalie Lillian Hale~

I sat in the back seat, my legs curled up on the seat next to me, as Jasper drove carefully through the streets towards Forks High. The roads were icy, and Alice yelled directions at Jasper right and left, and though he remained polite when he replied to her, I could tell his teeth were tightly clenched.

I just kept my mouth shut.

We got to school after Bella, Edward, and Emmett. They were all waiting for us, Bella sitting inside the Volvo, the door open.

I smiled as soon as I saw Emmett, and when I got out of the car, I went straight to him. He grinned at me, and took my hand in his carefully, and gave it a squeeze before letting it go again.

It felt like Emmett was my life preserver. If I hadn't had the comfort of knowing that I would see him first thing in the morning, every school day, and at lunch, and in the halls...I would've felt like I was drowning. As it was, I was just barely treading water. But...things were getting better.

"Come on, it's freezing out here! Let's get inside." Alice suggested, and led the way towards the school.

Sometimes I wish that I was a grade ahead, so that I could have classes with the others. It kinda sucked sometimes, having to deal with the time alone in a classroom full of sharks. But other times it's a blessing, having the time away from everyone else. You can only take people falling all over themselves to make sure you're okay for so long.

It's not that I don't appreciate everything that everyone does for me. It's just that...sometimes it seems like they don't realize that I'm still a sixteen year old girl...I can handle myself, under normal circumstances.

"Hello-o-o? Earth to Rosie!" Emmett said, snapping his fingers under my nose. I jumped backwards, surprised, and into...someone. I didn't know who. But, I felt the strong arms wrap around me as we fell, too strong for a girl...

I fell out of Fork's highschool. I was back in the big city, struggling and kicking and doing whatever I could as a strong man held me against his chest, a sour smelling rag held over my mouth and nose....

I heard people yelling at me, and two sets of hands grabbed me, and pulled me up off the ground, holding me back.

It wasn't until I opened my eyes that I realized that I'd been screaming, and fighting. Alice and Bella were holding me tightly, trying to soothe me. Jasper was lying on the ground, not even attempting to get up...just lying there, looking stunned.

And that's why I was forced to go to therapy.

This was one of my first assignments, to keep a journal. Write down whatever's going on in my head. Get it out, somehow. So, that's what I'm doing. And, I have to admit...it wasn't a bad idea. It helps, somehow.

I read this somewhere the other day, and I thought I'd write it down in here.

"One good thing about music is that when it hits you, you feel no pain." I know it's short. But, this is an intro chapter! I'll try to make the following chapters longer.

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