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A/N: Written as a game we played on MSN RC group. Grab the nearest book to us, flip to page 10 and using the 3rd word on that page, write/draw something RoChu. My word was "recognize"

China admitted it to himself even if he didn't show it to the world- it hurt. They once promised to be together forever, to stand by each others' side through thick and thin…but then Stalin died, Mao went power hungry and so…they parted bitterly. Tension rose, conflicts abound. Yet through it all China always thought eventually they would be together again. Even when his countrymen forced him to turn his back on Russia and form an alliance with America, he still held on to that hope. Living for so long, it was one thing China was sure of. Bitter enemies can eventually become the best of friends; lovers once separated can reunite. In his 4000 years of existence, China also learned one thing- nothing is ever sure.

"Hello China, I'm Russia. I shall be taking the UN seat for the Soviet. I hope we can have friendly relations in the future da?"

With the collapse of the Soviet and his rebirth, Russia…Ivan, had forgotten everything. Every pain, every happiness, everything they had shared. China could hear his heart breaking. But no. He can't break; he won't cry. He was a nation. He represents his entire country and had responsibilities.

Russia…not his Russia, stared at him with curious eyes as he held his hand out. China smiled weakly before hesitantly raising his hand to shake the Russian's. Russia smiled, a familiar yet foreign smile. His hand tightened around China's, warmth seeping into China's hand and shook it. Soon- too soon- Russia released his southern neighbor's hand, taking with it his heat and turned around to take his seat.

Acting purely on instinct, his heart clenching- damn pride and dignity- China launched himself at Russia's back, knocking them both to the ground. He did not wait for decades to have their first meeting in years end like this.

Russia turned, his front now facing China as the Chinese nation laid on top of him, "Wha-"

He never finished his sentence, China crushed his lips on Russia's, desperately trying to fuse their bodies into one. Russia stiffened and laid immobile under the Chinese ministrations. What the hell was going on? He lifted his hand to push China away but…he tasted so sweet, so nostalgic, so heartbreakingly wonderful. Russia found himself closing his eyes, enjoying the kiss as his hand wrapped around the slim waist on top of him.

The moment Russia tentatively pressed his lips back against China's, the kiss became no longer bruising but soft and lingering. Their lips gently, lightly brushed against one another; nuzzled briefly, tasting, savoring each moment their lips met.

For China this was only one of many kisses they have shared but for Russia this must be nothing more than a random encounter soon to be forgotten. China kissed a little deeper, a little harder. Please. Please let him remember me, remember this.

Russia didn't understand it. He should be repulsed; disgusted that a nation threw himself at him and had the nerve to push him down and kiss him. But he didn't. Since his rebirth, he finally felt a peace, a sense of belonging. An ache soothed away by these gentle hands caressing his face.

Ivan…I love you.

It's that voice again. The voice that haunted his dreams, keeping him tossing and turning at night.

Ru-Ivan, really…you're such a messy eater. Come here...let me wipe it off for you

It had gotten worse and worse. At first it was only a voice but now he could fleetingly feel in his dreams a hand touching him, a soft body pressed against his; see silky black hair run through his fingers like water.

His dreams became more and more distinct, more life like.

Someone touched him on the forehead, brushing away his hair away from his eyes.

"What are you looking at?"

He would smile, hugging someone he knew was dear to him in a tight embrace, "You. Just you."

His small companion huffed out in exasperation but still returned his embrace, snuggling deeper into the hug.

He could feel infinite happiness and contentment fill his body. Bliss. Pure, simple bliss. He tilted his dream lover's head up for a kiss....

Then he would wake. So many dreams, illusions, nightmares- whatever they were called-ended that way. He could never see the face. The only thing he could ever remember were golden eyes piercing him, loving him.

The same golden-amber eyes China had….

Hesitantly, Russia reached shaking hands up to stroke the smaller nation's cheek. China looked down at Russia, shocked to find the lilac eyes glistening.

Hoarsely, quietly, still stroking China's cheek, Russia whispered, "Little Jao?"

The End.

A/n: based this off a Chinese comic I saw recently. I don't know the title, or the artist or even the link of where it came from. Sorry OTL.

This is also a good chance as any to mention that I probably won't use "aru" in anymore of China's dialogues unless it's fluff/comedy. Somewhat OOC, I guess, but I like it better when "aru" doesn't ruin his pattern of speech. ^^;;