It had been two weeks since the McDonalds moved in. Two Weeks. Fourteen days. Three hundred and fifty hours.

And already Nora could see the lay of the land. She was used to saying "Casey and Lizzie", because she often talked about both of her daughters together, but in the space of such a short time, the balance had changed. Now she found herself linking her eldest daughter with her new eldest step-son in conversation; sort of like 'Tom and Jerry', 'Ren and Stimpy' or 'Bonnie and Clyde'.

Unfortunately, in making comparisons with all three pairings it was hard to ignore the homicidal element.

There had been somewhere in the region of two hundred and fifty separate arguments over those two weeks between 'Tom' and 'Jerry'; arguments which Nora and George had been forced to break up. She had stopped counting after ten. The only thing that helped her keep an approximate score was that she could guarantee that somewhere almost every hour, 'Tom and Jerry' AKA Derek and Casey found something to fight about.

Nora wondered why it was the elder two. Edwin and Lizzie for example seemed to have knitted into a friendship. (Admittedly it was born from their shared experiences as younger, subordinate siblings. Both children were often ridden over, roughshod.)

But for Derek and Casey…

The trouble was Nora had watched 'Moonlighting', 'JAG' and every other conflict-driven UST series for the last two decades. (She had a thing for Harmon Rabb, and probably wouldn't turn down David Addison). She really hoped that if it was UST it didn't get resolved on her watch.

Nora quickly understood the pairings were set in stone: Derek and Casey, Edwin and Lizzie, and Marti – bless her.

Marti, of course, was a law unto herself.

Nora thought she knew her husband quite well by now. They had spent hours talking before their marriage – when they weren't…

Yes…well…moving swiftly on…

They had talked politics. (She wondered if their similar views on the Middle East would help when it came to negotiating the Derek and Casey armistice.)

They had talked religion. (George, like Nora, considered himself Christian…he wished certain children would just get the whole 'love thy neighbour' thing real soon. Nora was rather afraid they would.)

They talked children. (Loved them, couldn't eat a whole one.)

All in all, she thought they were very similar. And she loved him to pieces.

But his cooking skills…

At the two week mark, George decided to show that this was a modern household, that he didn't expect Nora to always pick up the burden of putting an edible meal in front of their large blended family.

He cooked.

Casey, with uncharacteristically good timing, declined and barricaded herself in her room. He tried not to take that personally.

"This looks…good." Nora said…supportively…not hugely truthful though.

Derek threw her a look, a very patronising look. "It looks disgusting. Dad since when do you cook?"

George replied, defensively. "We're a family and a family that eats together…"

"Barfs together." Edwin shot back. Nora bit her lip. And then Marti was in her 'cute' mode.

"Remember last year when I barfed and it had yellow chunks in it?"

Nora tasted iron.

George's skills as a lawyer were second to none. In particular, his poker face. "Indeed I do. That was the day we got the new station-wagon. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'new car smell'"

Nora was worried the blood in her mouth would leak out and show.

"It reeked." Edwin interjected. Pot and Black, thought Nora who had a vague recollection of being in the same room as Edwin for a long period of time where she seriously worried about her nasal well-being. She sighed. These children really tested your senses. Maybe it was a boy thing.

A welcome distraction in the form of Lizzie came down from upstairs.

"Casey says she doesn't feel like eating." Nora was concerned and all amusement disappeared.

"Yeah." Casey's partner-in-crime said, pushing his plate away. "I hear that."

Lizzie looked at Derek with frustration. "She seems really upset."

"Is she being emotional?" Edwin asked with the innocence of a pre-teen.

"Again?" Derek said. Nora was under no illusion about Derek's innocence when it came to Casey.

She had to be supportive. "What's wrong with being emotional?" she asked, softly.

George was in paternal mode. "Nothing at all. Guys, listen, now that you have two new sisters you are going to have to be more sensitive. Girls are often quite emotional…that's perfectly normal especially at Casey's age."

Derek laughed. Nice one Dad, Nora's going to LOVE that!

He was right, Nora leapt to Casey defence. "George…that's just stupid. I mean, maybe something happened at school today."

Nora winced as she saw the look of triumph on Derek's face. "She didn't tell you about the Incident?"

"What incident?" …with a sense of foreboding.

Derek explained, laughing. Nora was horrified.

Poor Casey.

Then she realised her eldest daughter was a party to this conversation…and Tom and Jerry were at it again. Nora rolled her eyes.

She visited her 'favourite drama queen' in her room.

Nora wondered how Casey could honestly think that she could transfer to a Hebrew school. Was SJST really that bad? (The look in Casey's eyes right now…She wondered if she would be forced to hold a Bat Mitzvah…)

But, despite how Casey made out that this was about school, Nora knew it was really about Derek.

Nora listened. In fact, she thought she should update her CV to major on her listening skills. And maybe add a 'putting my foot in it' category, because, to be honest, relating her retainer-locking incident to make her daughter smile…that was undoubtedly a new low.

She left Casey's room and made her way down to her own, new bedroom. George was waiting for her.

"How did it go?"

"I told her about some of my embarrassing experiences."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And George? When it comes to Parent's Consultation Evening…you get the Geography teacher."

Things only got worse and then Derek somehow provoked another fall incident and George was forced to go and talk to Casey. This was new for him. When Abby had delivered his first daughter he assumed he had at least thirteen years before this sort of discussion became necessary.

He entered Casey's room with more than a little trepidation.

"So how are things?"

"Things are bad, George. Very bad."

He could do understanding. He could show that he had listened…to Derek.

"Right, the fall…both of them." Casey frowned. From the amusement in his eyes, it was obvious where he had got his information from. She cringed. He cowered…from the idea of tears.

And then George had gone on to tell her about his car accident story.

It was good. It was funny. It was distracting.

But, Casey was left thinking if she had one more anecdote from a parental figure she might consider leaving home.

She wasn't above being grateful, however, and George's empathy was nice. And when he had done something really sweet and promised to run interference if Derek tried to bug her….well…they had shared their first step-father/daughter hug.

And he had tried to run interference, briefly, until the whole thing descended into a food fight.

Nora wasn't impressed when the entente cordiale broke out into a scene she had once witnessed in Bugsy Malone. Food fights are amusing on screen, less so when you are the one cleaning up.

Nora let George have it.

"The next food fight…you clean up."

"Oh come on Nora, it was just a bit of fun."
"And you need to start standing up to Derek. What are you? A man or a mouse?"

He stood there and watched his new wife and he totally agreed with her, in all areas. Totally.

His mouth opened to confirm this, but all that came out was "Squeak?"

Still reeling from the surprising 'Nora glare', George took Casey to one side again.

"You know, Casey if you try to argue something out with Derek, you'll never win. He's quick-witted and he'll turn any viewpoint to suit him. You'll never win the war." He smirked and looked so like Derek it was creepy. "But you can win a few battles, if you try to think like a Venturi."

Casey sighed and rolled her eyes. "Ok George. Let's hear it."

George was relieved when Casey came home from school slightly happier the following day. Maybe he could do this step-father thing for girls.

"A better day?" he asked her as she prepared dinner in the kitchen.

Casey smirked. "A bit. Derek wasn't quite such a jerk to me, and Sam walked me to class." She smiled at the memory. "And it's going to get even better." Her face had a look of Venturi cunning. George looked puzzled and then concerned. Maybe he had just triggered Thermo-nuclear warfare.

"Hey! This is actually good! Who made this?" Edwin asked looking towards the McDonald end of the dining table. Much as he was Team Venturi it was a dead cert the food in front of him hadn't come from someone on his squad.

"Me." Casey stated looking briefly at her mom with a smile. Finally, something that impressed the Venturis!

"It's delicious!" George agreed with enthusiasm, possibly slightly over-doing it. Or not. Like the rest of his family, George liked his food.

"And the crust! Who knew potato chips could taste better?" Especially, potato chips!

Nora smiled, pleased for Casey, but then her heart involuntarily popped into her throat when Derek opened his mouth. Nora braced herself for the sarcastic comment she knew would burst Casey's bubble.

"I have to say it's not totally awful…" Derek paused. "Well done Casserole Casey!"

You could have knocked Nora over with a feather. Maybe Derek could be a decent person after all.

Casey beamed. Not for the first time, Nora was an unwitting spectator as her daughter's eyes locked with her step-son's. At least this time she was smiling.

"Casserole Casey…I like that."

Marti piped up. "I want a nickname." She complained.

"You can be Marti the Munchkin." Derek said spearing more food on his fork.

George's eyes met Nora's whilst their children discussed nicknames, for the first time in a while – possibly ever – they were having an almost civilised meal.

Then the challenge was back in Derek's eyes.

"Come on. I'm waitin'…" Derek said to Casey, daring her to think up a nickname for him as the others had.

She declined gracefully. "…I think I've heard enough name calling."

Derek smirked. "You got nothing." He said and reached for his drink.

Casey's eyes dropped to her plate, in submission…or not.

"You're right. But eh…your friend Sam mentioned one…" Derek's mouth froze mid swallow. At the ends of the table, Nora and George began to feel jittery.

Casey continued. "…from when you had really long hair in grade seven…"

Derek looked down and carried on eating.

"Can you…er…pass the butter?" He said not looking at Casey who was grinning broadly.

"Sure thing…Dereka." She replied triumphantly.

The family erupted into laughter and George glanced at Nora as they both relaxed. A stony-faced Derek tried to carry on eating, but the realisation that Casey had caught him out, and in a way that wasn't totally lacking in humour hit him. He glanced up at his nemesis and smiled somewhat reluctantly.

Casey grinned at George. Battle won, I think.

Later as George and Nora were enjoying a clandestine snuggle in the kitchen, Nora smiled up at him.

"Casey handled dinner well tonight." She said.

"The food or the entertainment?" George asked, grinning back.

"Both." They chuckled.

George stroked his wife's hair affectionately.

"You know, I don't think it is going to be me that keeps Derek in check from now on. I think Casey just stole my job."

"You don't fancy swapping seats at dinner do you? Sitting between them is a little like being a referee."

"Nah. You do it so well."

Nora made a huffing sound.

"Anyway, tonight at least we should have some peace. Derek will sit in his room and plot the next Casey offensive."

"And Casey will sit in her room and record her achievement in her journal."

George bent his head to kiss her softly.

Upstairs, they heard someone emerge from the bathroom, and then a series of loud thumps as two sets of feet jumped from their respective beds and scrambled onto the landing.

Evidently both Casey and Derek needed the bathroom.

There was a massive crash as Casey tripped over something in her haste to beat Derek. Nora and George hurried up the stairs to investigate.

The scene before them would have been hilarious if this had been the first time something like this had happened. But it wasn't.

Casey and Derek were a pile of limbs on the floor and nearby was a broken vase.

Derek looked up at their parents. "Don't look at me. This was all Klutzilla's fault."

George and Nora groaned.