Effects of Recoil (con.)

Disclaimer: still own nothing

Ziva turned away from Tony after she confessed how hurt she really was. Tony looked at the fragile form in the bed and shook his head, silently wiping away tears. He sat by her bedside and placed his head in his hands. He waited until he thought she was asleep.

"Ziva, how can I fix this?" He asked more to himself than anyone. "What have I done? You are everything. You make my world spin. All I ever wanted was to love you. I want you, all of you, but you are so far away. I don't know how to bring you back to me. I don't know how to fix the mess I made. I just want you to trust me again. I want you to know how much you mean to me but I can't seem to explain it in a way that makes sense. God, what have I done?" Tony had tears in his eyes after realizing he had probably lost the one thing in the world that he cared about most.

Ziva closed her eyes, blinking back tears, and rolled onto her side, facing Tony. She reached out and put a hand over his.

"I do love you. I always have." Ziva whispered, causing Tony's head to whip up shocked that she was awake and heard the entirety of his confession. He mumbled something incoherent and paused trying to find something to say.

"Tell me what happened, please."

"Tony, it is not a big deal. You are here. I…" she trailed off silently, afraid to voice her fear, not wanting to be vulnerable.

"Please, Zi. I overreacted. Please tell me. I am not going anywhere."

"Okay." She resigned, took a deep breath, and embarked on her tale. By the end, she could barely keep her emotions in check, but since she was unaware of how Tony would react, she kept them contained.

"Zi, it's okay to cry. I'm right here. I'll catch you. I'm not going anywhere." Ziva merely nodded, not sure whether to trust her partner or her training. Tony continued, "Baby, I'm sorry you had to go through that on your own. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry I overreacted earlier. I had absolutely no reason to be mad. I hope you can trust me again or at least forgive me." Taking her hand inside his, he kissed the back of her hand and held on, hoping to give her some reassurance of his presence. "You don't always have to be the strong one. I know that's who you are and I wouldn't change that for the world, but everyone breaks at some point. I just want you to know I'm here when you fall. I promise I'll pick up the pieces." He brushed a piece of hair from out of her face and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

With his warm, large hands holding her smaller ones, she closed her eyes and prayed herself to sleep, comfortable with his touch.