She was facing me, her eyes so full of concern and love. But was it the same love? Is it the love that keeps you awake at night and keeps you yearning to see her again?

Is it the love that hurts because you know there isn't a lot you can do about it because you know that the person that you love doesn't love you back? Won't love you back. For some reason that you just cannot understand.

Is it the love that makes you want to move mountains for this girl?

Is it a love that is eating you up on the inside and you feel that you might burst if you don't tell her? That because of this love, you have been pushing her away, hurting her blindly, so that you don't hurt yourself?

"Tell me what's wrong Ash! You are my best friend, I deserve to know." She questioned, hurt evident in her voice.

"I love you Spencer."

"I know Ash."

"No Spence, I am in love with you." She stumbled backwards and just stared at me. "Spencer, please say something?"

"Uh, how long?"

"What?"

"How long have you been in love with me, or well, at least known that you uh…"

"About three months."

"And you tell me now? Just after I tell you that I am thinking of giving it up to my boyfriend, you tell me that you love me!"

"I'm sorry Spence, I just couldn't,"

"I have always known that you have had feelings for me Ash, and I don't mind. I really don't mind. And now you tell me that you are in love. With me."

"I'm sorry."

"You said that." She let go of my hand and walked away.

--

Spencer has been my best friend ever since she moved to LA from Ohio four years ago. She's tall, blonde and gorgeous! But she is so naive sometimes but I guess that's what makes her cute.

I wish I could feel differently about her. I would give anything to not look at her the way I do. Or melt every time she smiles at me.

But she ran from me and I just let her. But what was the point in chasing her really?

--

A few days passed and it was getting close to the weekend. Spencer usually spent Thursday evenings with me. And yet, she isn't here.

So I took to moping around the house, annoying my mother.

"Christine, do you believe in love?"

"Really Ashley, do you think I would still believe in love?" I shrugged, not being bothered to conjure the energy to form a verbal response. "I stopped believing in love after my fourth marriage."

"And yet you keep getting married!"

"The money Ashley. You may have an inheritance. But I, on the other hand, have nothing when you move out."

"I think I have fallen in love mom." I sighed. "No, I know I have. But she doesn't feel the same way and she isn't talking to me right now."

"Well have you tried talking to her yourself?"

"No. She's the one that walked away from me." I pouted.

"And that means that you don't chase after her?"

"Well,"

"Go see Spencer honey. At least try and keep your friendship ok?"

"How did you know it was her?"

"I have seen the way you look at her. But I have also seen the way she looks at you. I wouldn't be so sure about her not having feelings for you." She stood up and walked back into the house. I sighed and laid out in the sun until the sun set.

I thought about what my mother said. I should chase her. But she is straight and I don't want to set myself up to look like a fool!

Spence I'm sorry, I didn't want this. A x

Within minutes, I got a reply.

What did you want? S xx

I was relieved to see that she hadn't stopped putting the little 'x's on the end of her texts. That only happened once when I refused to go to a shoe sale with her. She didn't talk to me for months and I swear that was the worst time of my life.

I bit my lip as I typed and waited for a response.

I want you. A x

I'm not into girls Ash. You know that. S xx

I sighed. And a few seconds later a got another message

But if I ever was with a girl Ash, it would be you. S xx

I got up off of the grass and wandered to my room.

I don't want to give up on having her, but I don't want to push her away.

--

AN:: don't murder me cos I wrote another! This is like two or three parts

I haven't a clue when the next part will be up… hopefully soon XD

But I have to thank my friend who this story is basically based on and she gave me help to get it right… so… yeah

Remember, reviews are love so… you know the drill.