Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. And I don't plan to steal it. *looks around nervously* No, really!

Yepp, another story! I know I should probobly be working on Lovely Battle or A Happy Family right now, but this was already like half done so I just finished this chapter up and posted it! I hope you all enjoy!

CUTTER

"I expect you to do better than this, you understand?" Yoshio Ohtori demanded across the desk from his third son. The small boy was only thirteen and looked on the verge of tears. However his onyx eyes were well hidden behind glasses and black hair that fell over his face.

The father came down hard on the boy angered by his lack of response. He had expected more from this child, he seemed to have great potential. However the boy disgraced the family. No, he didn't fail necessarily but rather exceeded his elder brother. That was unacceptable. He shamed his brother. Yoshio wanted three competent sons, each in their own place. This child had left his place and he must learn that would not be tolerated. However he still must be a shining example of the Ohtori name.

"You are to stay behind your brothers! I don't care if you really are smarter than them; it's not your place to intrude!"

The small boy sunk farther in to his chair as his father stood.

"However keep in mind that you must still keep up at the top of your school, represent the Ohtori name, and still reach perfection," the man said steadily. The boy still refused to meet his gaze.

"You are dismissed," he ordered with a sigh. He relaxed back into his chair missing the tears streaming down his son's face.

The raven haired child raced to his room and locked the sturdy door behind him. The boy jumped to his bed and laid there motionless.

He couldn't handle it anymore. It seemed like any time he tried to do something right, his father would crack down on him for stepping on his brother's toes. He just desperately wanted to prove to his father that he was worth his time, able to inherit the company. That was his dream.

But when his dream was so clearly out of his reach, what was left for him? He didn't have friends, they only got in the way and held him back. Besides, no one wanted to befriend him. No one.

And it wasn't as if the onyx eyed boy believed in love. No, he was sure that instead he would be forced into and arranged marriage once of age. Regardless, who would want to marry the third son? Girls would likely be all over his older brothers, no need for him.

The boy turned toward the bed table at his right searching for his notebook. When he opened the drawer not only did he find the note book but an exacto knife. Out of impulse he grabbed the tool and raced into his adjoining bathroom before he could have second thoughts.

Hands trembling slightly he pushed out the blade. Did he really want to do this? But his father was so cruel, himself so incompetent, and this seemed as good a solution as any. At least he hoped so.

The third son moved the knife to his wrist, lightly scratching the skin. The red line was visible, but brought the boy no satisfaction. He again sliced across his flesh, this time deeper and dots of blood began to appear. The boy bit down on his lip to keep himself from making a sound.

Then a numbing feeling rushed through him. He forgot about the pressure, about his father, his brothers. At that moment there was only the stinging pain and numbness that gave him foreign satisfaction.

The sharp object was taken to his other arm, where another cut was made before the boy placed the knife on the counter in front of him. He didn't dare continue, not quite yet wanting death, enjoying the feeling of control. He could control his life or death, his pain, and that was a feeling he wanted for a bit longer.

So he stopped the activity and instead wrapped his bleeding wrists in layers of towels. When the red substance stopped coming from his cuts, the child cleaned his arms, returned to his room, and grabbed a long sleeved shirt before crawling into his bed and quickly falling into a dreamless sleep.

*^*^*^*

3 years later

Class was unimaginably dull. The teacher stood at the head of the classroom lecturing us on a subject that I'm sure I had more knowledge on. She droned on and on and I withheld the urge to correct the many mistakes. It would be disrespecting an elder, something disgraceful. Besides, she was merely a substitute. I suppose our regular, competent, teacher was suffering from an illness. Or taking a vacation from our class, namely Tamaki.

As I looked up Tamaki was in fact harassing the sub as he would any other teacher. The woman was barraged with questions and comments, mixed with a fair bit of flattery, courtesy of Tamaki's overly large ego and flirtatious personality. By the end of class the woman had hearts in her eyes.

I decided to wait for the blond fool as he bid farewell to the sub, who we would hopefully never see again. Once he met me in the hall his mouth was off. He talked about nearly everything under the sun, though today his focus was on the days host club. And with that, his daughter, and the rest of our 'family'.

More often than not, those were the people who kept the razor away from my arms. Unknowingly the host club gave me the smallest bit of solace, and I hadn't cut nearly as much in the time since we were formed as in the beginning. I suppose I had them all to thank for that. However I doubt they would ever know their effect. I surely wouldn't tell them.

By the time we reached the club room, unusually late due to Tamaki's flirting with the teacher, the others were already present. Hikaru and Kaoru had taken to trying to persuade Haruhi into a dress, while she read with a bored expression. Hani sat a table enjoying an entire cake with Mori watching protectively. They all looked up at our entrance.

"Hi Tama-chan, Kyo-chan!" Hani greeted. He continued to offer us cake, but when we refused he proceeded to devour the sweet himself.

"Tono, Kyoya-senpai," Kaoru began with the formalities. And yes, I knew it was Kaoru.

"Where were you two?" Hikaru finished. They both paused from tormenting Haruhi to wait for our response.

"Well, as a host I was simply giving my share of kindness, beauty-"

"Tamaki was thanking today's substitute teacher," I cut him off simply. I didn't wish to stand there while Tamaki gave a long, over dramatized explanation.

"My poor daughter, I'm sure your heart rages with jealousy. Get off her you devious twins!" Tamaki declared. He then cuddled up to the unfortunate girl. Of course the twins then felt the need to try and tear her away. I just sighed and walked away toward an empty table. There I began typing away, trying to get us some new costumes for a theme Tamaki had come up with. With that crazy boy as our King there was always work for me to do.

Quickly time passed to the point where it was time for Club to open. I instructed the hosts to get into their places before I opened the doors to the many ladies in yellow dresses. They had all booked in advance, eager for their favorite hosts, and I simply guided them to the proper table before returning to my own.

That day I didn't take any clients and instead continued to get the new costumes. Once that was finished club had yet to end and I let my gaze drift across the room. Everything seemed to be in order, Tamaki was clutching a girls hand and whispering romantic promises, Haruhi was charming girls with her natural charm, girls had hearts in their eyes as they watched Hani climb into Mori's lap, and Hikaru disgustingly latched onto Kaoru making the poor boy sport a fake blush. Wait, WHAT?

As I continued to watch the twins act, I couldn't explain the feeling. Sure I had always thought the act to be strange, however it wasn't my business and for all I knew it was an act. In fact, I'm sure it's an act. The words raced through my head again,

Hikaru disgustingly latched onto Kaoru making the poor boy sport a fake blush.

However I turned my gaze instead to Hani and Mori pushing away the feeling growing in my stomach. It was much easier to just suppress useless and unexplainable things rather than bother with them. I would be a fool to think it was anything other than an odd occurrence likely caused by the lunch I had coincidently crossing with a moment of stray thought. Yes, I'm sure that was all.

Only slightly miffed, I returned to my computer searching for some work to do. As I said, with Tamaki as King, there always was plenty.

*^*^*^*

Once the club was over Haruhi quickly shuffled out. As always she didn't want to spend more time here than needed. Or at least that was the front she put up. After her followed Tamaki, claiming he must walk his daughter home. The other two left in their respective pairs and I was too allowed to exit.

I shut off the lights before making my way toward the exit of the school. After several corridors and turns I reached the front gates. There were few students left, the host club being one of the last clubs to finish. That was likely because we were the only club to offer a service.

Standing off toward the right were the Hitachiin twins. They stood facing the road, their backs to me. It was odd to see them here and so I walked over toward them. However before they were aware of my presence I heard their conversation. It was anything but my business, but I overheard Hikaru rambling on about Haruhi. Kaoru encouraged his brother happily. So then they were certainly not romantically involved then. Why did that give me such a content feeling?

"Hello, Hitachiins," I greeted the two making their heads turn to look at me. Hikaru looked embarrassed, likely hoping I didn't over hear his conversation.

"Hello, Kyoya-senpai," Kaoru replied politely. Hikaru just said 'hey'.

"Why are you two still here?" I asked. I suppose some idle conversation wouldn't hurt.

"Our limo is running late, the stupid driver took a wrong turn," Hikaru replied angrily. He obviously wasn't happy about the fact. Kaoru didn't look pleased either, in fact they looked identical.

"Ah, I see. You two are welcome to ride home with me, I wouldn't mind an extra stop," I offered. I wasn't quite sure why, but the words seemed to just flow out themselves. Kaoru's eyes widened in surprise while Hikaru's narrowed in suspicion. However they both nodded and followed me to where my driver was waiting. I informed him about the extra passengers and he simply nodded and replied with a 'yes Ohtori-sama'.

Just minutes into the car ride Hikaru spoke up from his place beside Kaoru. The two sat very close, Kaoru resting his head on his brother's shoulder. The gesture made the feeling from club return however I distracted myself with conversation.

"So what do you get from this?" Hikaru asked. His voice held the smallest bit of malice but it was ignored when I replied.

"It is my job to insure the members of the host club are taken care of properly," I made up an excuse. I myself didn't know the real reason. Hikaru bought the words, either that or didn't care enough to question them. Kaoru on the other hand stared at me from his place against Hikaru. I suppose he was the more perceptive of the two, but what was with his stare? His golden eyes burned into mine, questioning. I met his gaze until the driver announced the arrival at the Hitachiin residence. Hikaru and Kaoru stumbled out pausing for a shared 'thank you'.

Once the two were gone butterflies filled my stomach. In my mind was the image of Kaoru's fiery eyes. They saw through my lie, it was unnerving. For what must have been the hundredth time that day, I suppressed the feeling. With a sigh I turned my gaze to the window before thinking over what work my father would have for me when I returned home. Hopefully enough to keep me busy.

*^*^*^*

Hours later I sat on the edge of my bed. The work was done, school work completed, and memories of amber eyes were beginning to surface. Off both impulse and habit I made my way toward my pristine bathroom. I found the large razor blade hidden in the cupboard.

Once there were several bleeding cuts across my scarred wrist I felt the familiar numbness flow through. The pain was there, though I didn't care. The numbness was more than enough for me to empty my mind. Without a thought I stopped the bleeding before falling back on my bed, exhausted.

AN: Poor Kyoya... :(

Okay people, I hate this title, really I do. It's a deep hatred. So if you are awesome you will review and give me a suggestion for a new one. Pretty please? It will make me really happy! :D

Alright, please review! If you review my story I'll review yours! Hope you liked the chapter!