Author's Note: This shall be a short fanfiction that will be major spoilers on the next story I will make about mermaid melody. I plan on making stories for each of the three main mermaid princesses but for the meantime, it'll be Hanon's time to shine. Why not Lucia? First, because I hate her and second, because I can't write my story plausible enough... for now that is.
Disclaimer: MMPPP is a creation of the combined efforts of Pink Hanamori and Michiko Yokote.
Kanlungan is an old and beautiful tagalong song in our country. Pardon my rough translation in English though. It might not be accurate. And listen to it. When I played it many times, I really felt the lyrics bearing a hole inside me.
Darn I kinda fast-forwarded the story a bit, so the product might be sloppy.
Pana-panahon ng pagkakataon
(Time and time again full of opportunities)
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?
(Can we ever return back yesterday?)
I think this country isn't like the one I knew ten years ago before I left. It's already been a month since I've returned, since I arrived from chasing my studies, and finally finding a job, as an accountant. I'm just finishing the arrangements of my folks' documents. For them to finally go to another country and attend- man I can't say it!
Japan... this country brings a lot of memories, as well as a breather to the things that I will have to challenge when l go back to America. The old school's still here, plus I managed to see Doumoto-san teaching in one of the windows with all the piano playing. Wait... where was when I heard it before?
Natatandaan mo pa ba?
(Can you still remember?)
Nang tayo'y dalwa'y unang nagkita
(When the two of us first met...)
Of course... it was at that piano piece... 14 years ago. It was Hanon's- no, Hosho-san's gift from Mitsuki-sensei. It was also the key piece in our fateful meeting, and Doumoto-san was one of the people involved. I remember... I humiliated myself, thinking that Doumoto-san was Hosho-san's boyfriend and that piano incident...
Panahon ng kamusmusan
(That time of youth)
Sa piling ng mga bulaklak at halaman
(In the arms of the flowers and plants)
I remember, I often try to impress Hosho-san then and often, they would backfire causing her much annoyance. How she often chase me in the park, blushing all the time when people see her. She was often pissed with me. She never took me seriously, when I try to win her heart.
I was still that young, too naive, too foolish, too simple-minded of the world I was living into.
The people are already leaving the school. Doumoto-san saw me, and gave me a small wave accompanied by a junior high girl, it was that child before. What was her name again? Oh yeah, Michal. She's so different, with waist-length hair and bright eyes. She must've known me and did the same as he.
There, we started our conversation. It was short, but it was worth it. He never married. I tried asking her about Nanami-san, but he didn't seem to want me to know about it, so I asked nothing else. Before I knew it, it was already six. I then bid him goodbye as we parted ways.
Doon tayong nagsimula
(There we began)
Mangarap at tumula
(To dream and recite poems)
I then remember as I walk home, of how so soon, Hosho-san finally liked me, of how we would tell of our dreams together, for me to someday own a bank to help my starving family, and for her to be able to handle her duty. She didn't fully explain it to me at all what that duty was, and I never asked. There was some kind of mutual understanding I can't explain between us. We respected each other and, even if I was younger than her, she loved me as the man, not as the boy.
I didn't know how or why I ever had that crush on her but somehow, it propelled me to the brink in understanding what it feels to have a first love. Somehow, it gave me hope that I will be able to fully grasp what love was.
Natatandaan mo pa ba?
(Can you still remember?)
Ang inukit kong puso sa punong mangga
(The heart I carved on the mango tree)
At ang inalay kong gumamela
(And the gumamela I gave you)
Magkahawak-kamay sa dalampasigan
(Holding hands in the stream)
Malaya tulad ng mga ibon
(Free like the birds)
It became both a blessing and a curse when I spent more time with her. I wasn't able to keep up with my studies, yet I was able to finally take love seriously. There were many things we did... carving our names in a tree in the park... admiring flowers in the garden... the flowers I gave her on her birthday and on Valentine's Day. How free we were. How childish we were. How envious that was.
Ang gunita ng ating kahapon
(The memory of our yesterday)
Now, I have to move on with life, how my then-fragile self didn't quite understand and paid the price for.
I ask myself:
Why did yesterday happen so fast?
Ang mga puno't halaman
(The trees and the plants)
Ay kabiyak n gating gunita
(Are twins of our reminiscence)
I noticed, when I saw the garden we used to visit, was no longer there. The tree, where I drew our names in, was cut down. I could only stare at them, and then turn my head away, ignoring the tears my eyes were shedding.
They're... really gone.
Sa paglipas ng panahon
(In the passing of seasons)
Bakit kailangang lumisan?
(Why did it have to pass away?)
One day, Hosho-san didn't go to school. I thought she was sick, so I came to visit with snacks my mom made. It was when Hamasaki-san saw and then informed me, when I noticed the dead windows that Hosho-san, Nanami-san, Touin-san and the others living in Pearl Piari left the inn two days ago. It was also when he told me... that they won't ever be coming back.
Pana-panahon ng pagkakataon
(Time and time again full of opportunities)
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?
(Can we ever return back yesterday?)
My fragile mind cannot take it. I can't eat nor say anything at all. I was, in other words, mad. That was why, my rich uncle sent me to a well-known psychiatrist in the US as well as pursue my studies.
I thought I couldn't get over all of it until I met a friend
My friend was a Japanese-American guy. Her personality was the opposite of Hanon. She was calm, collected, and she was rarely prone to fits. She was also a tomboy, different from Hanon a lot. Somehow, she helped me get myself out of that side of the fence, and open up a little. It was when I got over my love for Hanon, and become interested in another as well.
But that 'other' gave me another taste of rejection. But the blow I had taken, wasn't as hurtful as the one before, thank to Iz. She would smile at me calmly, and invite me to play ball.
From there, I then knew, who I really loved.
Ngayon ikaw ay nagbalik
(Now that you have came back)
At tulad ko rin ang iyong pananabik
(And my excitement is the same as yours)
I was just taking a stroll by the beach, when I saw her. Her face, didn't change much as when I remembered her. She didn't even seem to have aged at all!
Makita ang dating kanlungan
(To see the old shade)
Tahanan ng ating tula at pangarap
(Home of our poems and dreams)
Ngayon ay naglaho na
(Today it has disappeared)
Saan hahanapin pa?
(Where can it be found?)
Somehow, I felt really awkward, as if I was embarrassed at her seeing me like this. At my longer hair, at my less big eyes, at my taller body...
"Nagisa?" she said at me, her voice less squeaky than before and more womanly. I didn't feel my heart beat.
"Hey... Hosho-san." Those words were all I can let out. My tongue was lost for words. To think that she would be here now... too late for me to fall in love with her again...
"You've changed." She then let out a small smile as she came to me and placed her hand on my cheek, her hand slightly cold. "I guess... it's been a while huh?"
I merely nodded as she returned her hand back. I didn't blush. Why?
"Hosho-san, did you love me?"
I didn't mean to make those words slip that easily. I didn't want it to yet my mind was urging me to-
"Yes," she smiled further as tears flowed down in her eyes. "I-"
"THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING ME FOR PETE'S SAKE?! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME HOPE THAT YOU'LL LOVE ME BUT IN THE END YOU WILL JUST GO WITHOUT TELLING ME?!" My anger finally got the better of me.
"You won't understand-" She began. I didn't let her finish.
"I'LL UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I LOVED YOU HANON. AND I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU. BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"
I wonder why I did that. I wonder why I suddenly let out those emotions out after keeping them bottled out for ten years. She was weeping silently, yet she...
"I'm sorry." She murmured as she wept. "Nagisa I- I thought that it'll be less painful if goodbyes weren't needed to be said but-"
My voice was stuck in my throat. I was making her cry. I was making my first love cry. Somehow it made me uneasy.
"I'm sorry, Nagisa." She said further.
"Then why did you come back?" I couldn't believe that my voice only echoed emptiness, pain, grief...
"A friend of mine's here. She still- haven't realized- it was all too late-"
It was surprising. Suddenly, she ran to my arms and clutched me tightly. She seemed so small, so young-
"I was surprised, time happened so fast. It's really- ten years." She forced a chuckle that I can't return.
It was when she led me by the arm. We walked further and I then remembered that we were going to-
-the tree, where we used to exchange our memories of youth.
"You've... changed a lot you know. You really, became a man." She continued giving a tinkling laugh. I was silent. I didn't go to this place anymore because I know I won't...
The sky, was blue as before. The sun was a misty yellow. But- a house greeted us instead of that ginko. The place, where we often go to a picnic in. The shade- where we used to exchange our dreams in.
Lumilipas ang panahon
(Seasons come and go)
There was no ginko to greet us.
Kabiyak ng gating gunita
(The twin of our memories)
I didn't want to see what her reaction would be. I could see the image of shock etched on her face. But she then took my arm again and ran. She's too stubborn- she can't believe..
We were in the old flower garden, now a rundown station. She grasped my hand again and went to- and then to-
She couldn't hide the frustration she was feeling. I felt tears in the wind hitting my face as we go.
Ang mga puno't halaman
(The trees and the plants)
Bakit kailangang lumisan?
(Why did it have to pass?)
"It's gone Hanon." I didn't want to say her first name, since we were no longer lovers. But I couldn't control my mouth. We can't experience the old times any longer. I know it yet I-
"NO-NO-NO-" She tried so hard to run holding my hand. She still hasn't changed. "Maybe the-"
I then grabbed her hand, finally able to wrestle it off her. "Please... stop it. Please. Know."
I also had to tell her something. Something I didn't want her to know and I don't want her to experience.
Pana-panahon ng pagkakataon
(Time and time again full of opportunities)
"Hanon I-" It... was a little bit stomach turning. I always felt like this before but this time it's so overpowering that-
I clutched her petite body tightly. Tears then spilled from this eyes of mine. Why? Because- we have to move on, and forget about our relationship but...
"I will leave Japan tonight, and I won't be coming back." My voice- was that my voice? I wonder... if I'm really doing the right thing, hurting her when she now has returned.
"I had been living in the United States for a while and found someone who can love me again and-I'm... marrying her when I return. I just came here... to help my parents pack."
Damn it. Even know, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
"It's been too long..." She murmured faintly as she hugged me a second time. I want- to apologize yet no sound came out.
"Hanon I'm sorry!" I thought I was too old to cry in front of someone yet why was I letting out this tears? Was I stupid? Foolish? "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
I couldn't stop crying. She couldn't either. Maybe we were just like that. Both naive and grown-up; but hey, goodbyes are like this.
We were young before, when we kissed each other in the sand. We were young then, when we confessed our love for each other. We were still freshly-hewn, when like a porcelain vase, our relationship broke apart.
But times have changed.
Now, we were already adults, and there's no turning back.
Maibabalik ba ang kahapon?
(Can we ever return back yesterday?)
"I loved you Nagisa Shiroi." She stated, finally meeting my eyes, her eyes now an aquamarine glow. "But I guess that was long ago."
"I loved you Hanon Hosho." My voice uttered incomprehensively. "But now, we have to lay that aside and press on different paths."
We then left each other, waving bitterly. My eyes continued welling up.
Japan- the place of my childhood memories.
R-ring!!!
I placed my ears on the phone.
"H-hello?" I couldn't hide the fact I was grieving.
"You were weeping, weren't you?" So Iza noticed it too. "The wedding preparations are all set now. Just hurry up okay?"
I only mumbled yes.
"I love you." She then said, my face imagining her smile as the phone line went dead.
I continued walking. I pass the place where the ginko tree was.
I came back to the place, but I cannot come back to the time we harbored affections for each other.
...
I cry a bit more.