Disclaimer: Of course I own this! I'll prove it- no wait...nevermind...

'Moony…I need a pregnancy test!'

'…'

'Moooony!'

'You've reached a new level of insanity, haven't you?'

'If I have, it's probably some sort of record. But I still need one!'

'Has it not maybe occurred to you maybe, that you…can't get pregnant?'

'B- but- we had sex!'

'You're- how should I put this? Pads, you're a man- well, a boy anyway…'

'So?! I could be pregnant! It's alright for you, but do you remember which of us bottoms Moony? Eh?'

'…I'm not sure you understand basic human biology Pads…'

'What? This is no time for biology, Moony! I could be pregnant!'

'Well lads, what're ye talking about?'

'Prongs-'

'Shush Moony, I need to tell Prongs something. Prongs, I might be pregnant.'

'What?! How?'

'Well, this may come as a bit of a shock to you Prongs, but-'

'I know you and Moony are shagging…so you think you're, you know…up the duff?'

'I'm surrounded by idiots.'

'Ah don't be so harsh Moony.'

'I'M PREGNANT PEOPLE!!'

'Padfoot, just breath. In. Out. In. Out.'

'Sometimes I wonder…'

AN: heehee, my first attempt at a purely dialogue fic - though I think it gets a little confusing the further in it goes. Anywho, written for the Phobia Challenge, prompt 'Tocophobia', a fear of pregnancy. Please review :)