This story is Jaspers POV of "Finding Relief" and beyond.

If you haven't read that story, you should probably read it before you read this.

5/9/10 UPDATE!! Apparently, Ffn decided to delete some of the punctuation. The series of punctuation that I used to separate scenes was deleted due to this update, which seems to be the only change that needs to be made, so I just wanted to let everyone know to bear with me while I correct this story. It will take some time.

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." – Sam Keen

Chapter 1

The streets were crowded. I knew the band personally, I played with them once, and they were good. This mob would get their money's worth. Judging by the people surrounding the The Machine Shop tavern, it would be a packed house tonight.

It was also a good night to work. The night air was cool and not hot as fuck, like it had been all week. It had been in the low nineties and the humidity in the eighty percent range. Breathing normally was near impossible, even for a fit, young guy like me. Gasping and panting was the common method for taking in breath under these circumstances.

But not tonight, it was a cool seventy-five degrees, it was almost worth celebrating, everyone appeared to agree with me, because people were hanging out in the street before the show starts, instead of running for the nearest building equipped with central air.

I took a look around the crowd, searching for potential customers. There were a lot of women in the masses tonight. With a few drinks in them, their inhibition disappears. I chuckle humorlessly. How well I knew that.

I still loved women. I still hoped to find a girl for myself one day. One that would forgive me for all of this; forgive me for my past and present. That was a tall order and it would take a strong woman to accomplish it, but I wouldn't give up on faith. She was out there, somewhere.

I stood here with James and Jessica. They were my partners in crime.

James is a prick. We have been acquainted for most of our lives but once "the incident" occurred, he could see the vulnerability in me, and pounced like a cat on an unsuspecting mouse. I never stood a chance as he easily roped me in to his way of life, without hesitation or remorse. I don't blame him; I was old enough to know better. I could have tried to withstand the peer pressure he was hoisting on me in truckloads. Involving me in all of his senseless shenanigans.

James didn't have an ounce of self-reproach. If you asked him, he was all that and more. He already had a full-time job at a prestigious law firm, as an intern. He got in there using his daddy's name and money. Little did his employment or his daddy know what he did after hours. I am sure they would more than scoff at his apparent enjoyment in all things naughty. He did this for nothing but the pleasure of the forbidden sex.

James didn't have a problem doing guys, as well, which tripled his business. He actually had a girlfriend that put up with his shit, but she was too drugged up most of the time to fucking care.

Jessica was a slut in every meaning of the word. She worked out here more than James and I, put together. Jessica wasn't happy unless she was riding a cock. She had hooked up with James one night and that is how James and I came to be here. She has a thing for James but she is smart enough to realize that she would never have him in the way she wanted to, so she infiltrated him into her life in the only way she knew how. Turning us into prostitutes along side her.

Money. None of us did it for money. James had a great job, Jessica's family came from old money and she was the princess. And well, I had my inheritance. The inheritance I wouldn't touch it if my fucking life depended on it.

James is talking about himself, as usual, and Jessica is still soaking up everything the cocky son of a bitch says; hanging on every last word like it was her lifeline. I shook my head internally and sighed.

They both have their faults but we cared about each other, as much as we could, in our fucked up little world.

"I bet I can get two girls and one guy tonight." James says confidently, showing his perfect white teeth. He was a decent looking guy, but I didn't go that way and James knew it. That was one thing he didn't succeed in tempting me to do.

"All at once?" Jessica questions, seriously. I laughed out loud at that. Jessica wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. James and I often found humor at her expense.

"STOP!"

As a natural reaction, I turn my head toward the sound of the voice saying that single word on a gasp.

My breath halted and then hitched when I looked at the sight before me.

She is fucking amazing, and she is staring at me. Fuck me backwards, sideways and upside down. She had the deepest chocolate eyes that I have ever seen. Her lips were plump and a pretty shade of pink. Her pale skin looked soft and clean. That fucking hair. Her hair looked like strands of pure chocolate silk, that was pulled back into a sexy as hell pony tail. She has a gorgeous body. The black top she was wearing showed an adequate amount of cleavage. Based on that, I could tell she has a nice sized pair of tits. Her legs were encased in some form fitting jeans and knee-high boots.

Shit, I was rock hard. When I looked from those boots up to her face I noticed that she is blushing profusely and her breathing is shallow. I smirked.

Apparently, I am not the only one turned on by our mutual eye-fucking. As she walks past me I catch a glimpse of a sweet little ass. My hands itched to follow her, carry over my shoulder into one of these dark alleys, and show her exactly how aroused I am.

I watched her as she disappeared behind a group of people. Damn, now I have a painful erection that won't be satiated until it is encased in a hot, wet pussy. I redouble my efforts in looking for a client for the evening. I rarely get horny anymore. I had pills that make my dick jump to attention within a matter of minutes, if needed. Tonight, I wouldn't be swallowing anything.

I was contemplating traversing down one of these dark alleys all by my lonesome to take care of my sudden need, like a demented pervert, when a car pulled up directly in front of us. I didn't recognize the car and when I look at Jess and James I didn't see any recognition in their eyes either.

We all bent our heads a bit to see who it was. It was Leah. She was a regular of mine. Where in the hell did she find this piece of shit? She is driving an older model Grand Prix that has a headlight and taillight out; the bottom of each door has several layers of rust.

Leah was one rich bitch. Well, her husband is anyway. He does some type of classified government work. Leah didn't tell me this. Jessica did. Yeah, Embry has a thing for paid company, too.

Leah didn't need to know this and either did her husband. That would cause them to talk about it; inevitably ending in promising to never see Jessica or I again and that shit just ain't good for business.

I gave her a fake smile. It's not like I wasn't looking forward to getting rid of this throbbing hard-on or that Leah wasn't a good fuck. She is hot in her own way. She has a decent face and body. She has some flaws in the bedroom but it wasn't anything that I couldn't work with. I just have a pair of chocolate eyes with matching hair on my mind. I move to the passenger door and bend down to the window. James had followed me and bent down as well.

"Aren't you getting tired of looking at this guy's ugly dick? I can show you a better time, I promise." I knew James was teasing and so did Leah. She has been around enough times to know James' sick sense of humor. Leah shot back, "I'm not in the mood to explain any fucking diseases to my husband this week. Maybe next week, hmm?" She gave him her most sultry smile.

I gave up listening to their banter and stood up to look into the crowd one more time…searching for the girl. I look at the ground, quickly calculating the odds of a girl like that taking advantage of the services provided by a lowly whore. Would she sleep with a fucked up mess like me, a prostitute…a killer? Odds were slim to none. Fuckin' A.

Disgusted, I open the passenger door and climb in. Leah has a huge grin on her face. Her hand lands on my knee and she starts to pull out into the street. "Leah…money first." I say agitated. She knew the rules but she was always trying to test the waters…test me. She wasn't the first woman to think she could get me to break the rules for her or to stop doing this altogether.

They didn't have a goddamn clue. I was a master at making them feel like they were the only one for me…making them feel special. That is why I had regulars. I gave them exactly what they thought they wanted and they always came back for more.

"Geez, you knew I would get around to it, sugar lips." She throws the money in my lap, slightly perturbed. I count the money…a cool grand. She wants the usual treatment tonight. A thousand bucks gave her some oral and a fuck. I didn't need her in a bad mood so I grab her hand and put it back on my thigh…pretending like I want it to be there. That seemed to appease her because she gave me a shy smile. That was way too easy.

"You do know that I hate it when you call me that, don't you?" I say. I hated any term of endearment. You should save those words for loved ones and not people you pay to fuck you.

"Well, if you told me your name, I would call you that instead." She says slyly. Yeah, right. There are a few things I keep to myself, hearing one of these horny women scream "Jasper" or worse yet, my family nickname, "Jazz" in the throes of their orgasm make me cringe with distaste.

I went back to my earlier thought. "Where did you find this piece of junk?" She huffed, "It's my maid's." I let out a snort and retorted. "I think you need to pay her more."

She pulled up to the apartment that I shared with my cohorts and we proceeded to my room.

My erection had not receded since I'd seen the brunette and I was looking for some action…quickly. Once we got in and shut the door I pull Leah to me. I stroke her back while my tongue and lips connect with the pulse point on her neck. I imagine doing it to the girl, her heartbeat would be unpredictable, stuttering and throbbing erratically as I caressed her back and dragged my tongue up her neck to her ear. She shivers when I nip at her lobe. My hands come up to her hair but it wasn't the short bob that Leah sported that I was picturing, it was long, flowing, fuck-me-now chocolate hair. I knew it would smell so damn good. I grasp it tightly, pulling her head back so I could graze my teeth from one ear to the other, across her neck.

She moans softly, but it wasn't Leah's annoying moan, it was the girl, a thick, throaty moan that I hear. My throbbing cock bouncing up and down, sensing the certainty of the pleasure it was about to receive. I move away to pull her shirt over her head and likewise, she grabs my hem of my shirt and removes it. She immediately goes for the fly of my jeans. I glance down to watch her hands, but it wasn't Leah's dark skin that I see, I visualize the girl standing before me, her pale small fingers working the button from it's hole, slowly lowering the zipper. I look up unfocused, again, it wasn't Leah that I see, it was her. Her hair was down, cascading over her shoulders, her lips were slightly parted and she was breathing heavy. Her brown orbs were boring into mine, transmitting an intense desire. My body was on fire, I knew I was starting to perspire and we hadn't even exerted any energy yet.

She bends down in front of me and lowers my pants. She stays on one knee to remove my boxers as I gaze down at her. Her mouth inches from my cock, but it wasn't the ruby red lips of Leah that I saw, it was those lush pale pink lips. She looked up at me and I seen those chocolate eyes, full of promise. My eyes shut and I bent my head back on my shoulders as I envisioned her crouching down with my cock in her hand.

She isn't grasping it roughly and awkwardly like Leah is, she was palming my nuts, while her other hand gently stroked it from base to tip before wrapping her little hand around it's length and in slow, long strokes pumped me. Every other stroke, glancing her thumb over the tip. Fuck! I was going to come.

I pull away quickly and bring Leah to her feet. I pull her to me again so I could grasp the clasp at her back to remove her bra. I remove it expertly and then back her onto the bed. She lay back and positions herself so that her legs dangle off the side of the bed at her knees. I bend over her, with one knee on the bed and bring my hands up to the snap of her khaki pants, but it isn't khakis but jeans that I fantasized…nice form fitting jeans. I unbutton and lower the zipper. I slowly pull the jeans off, taking in every detail of her pale slim thighs and calves.

I take her dainty foot in my hand and kiss my way up her calf, the inside of her knee and thigh. I kiss the top of her panties and then lower to her weak spot. Leah moans, but all I could hear was the girl, saying the forbidden, on another of her low throaty moans. "Ahh, Jazz."

Hearing my name come out of those plush lips make my stomach clench.

Motherfucker! My dick was ready to explode.

I get down on my knees, next to the bed, like a small boy about to pray, but that wasn't on the agenda, because at the moment I was in between a woman's legs, spread eagle and salivating. I pull her closer to the edge and hear a gasp as I start pressing butterfly kisses on the inside of her thighs.

Leah was gone again and the girl was back. I place my hands on that sweet little ass, lifting her to my mouth until it was just above her core. I exhale hot breaths over her wet folds. Envisioning that she likes it, because it is her that was writhing with her back arching off the bed. It has to be her groaning loudly...for me and because of me.

I press my dick up against the side of the bed, rubbing it along the smooth surface of the bedspread, trying to create some kind of goddamn friction. In mere seconds of seeing this girl she has me reduced to a prepubescent boy… fucking a bedspread for fucksakes.

I had to speed this along, tonight I had fucking urges. Besides, maybe if I got out of here before the show ended I could catch another glimpse of her. With that thought I press my tongue inside of Leah in quick little thrusts. I brought my hand up from her ass and pinch her clit, which I knew she loves. She doesn't disappoint. As expected, she comes instantly.

I get up immediately and retrieved a condom out of a drawer from the only other piece of furniture in the room besides the king sized bed, a small dresser that I found in the house that I had bought a couple of months ago. As I slipped the condom on, Leah makes her way to the middle of the bed. Some of her juices were sliding down her leg but she doesn't notice. She was staring at me, with a strange expression on her face.

I continue my dream about the girl as I crawl onto the bed. It isn't Leah's oversized implants that I was picturing creeping up to. My destination was moving over a fuckhot body to two perky little tits. When I am on my knees, between her legs I put both my hands on the small mounds. Caressing them in a way I know she would like. Softly cupping them while gently pinching the centers between my thumb and finger. Effectively making the nipples turn to little hardened nubs.

Her back was arching over the bed again, her hair spread over the pillows and blanket. Her soft plush lips open in the form of an "O". She looked exquisite.

"Open your eyes." Leah whispers.

Fuck no…and ruin this amazing fantasy.

I don't want to see the girl that I was situated above, but reality visits and I realize she was the client, and since customer service was always my priority I open my eyes, but instead of looking at her face, I look at the task at hand. As I prop myself on one arm I stare down at her pussy while I plunge two fingers inside of her, pumping agonizingly slow. Damn she was hot and wet.

My shaft notices too because it decides that it was not going to wait any longer. I'd be done before I get inside her. So to prolong my release I look back up at Leah's face. Mission accomplished. I wouldn't think about the girl again until this was over.

I moved over her and position my length into her folds and glide in. I lay down on top of her, thrusting gently while I simultaneously rotate my hips, making sure I slide up and down her clit in the process. I stare into Leah's face trying to make sure this lasts as long as possible.

Focusing on Leah works like a fucking charm. I was not only going to last as long as she needs me to, but I was afraid my erection is going semi-soft.

"Harder." Leah demands in quick pants. I oblige gladly. I was ready to get this over with. I bury my head in her neck and breathe in her ear, which I knew she happened to love. My climax was approaching and I knew I was ready to go at any second. As soon as I hear Leah start her's I allow myself to shut my eyes and visualize what the girl's face would look like in the middle of a release. That is all it took, I groan in Leah's ear as I ride out my orgasm.

I never lingered. We get up instantly and start to dress. She asks if I need a ride back and I tell her that I was fine and that my partner would come pick me up.

Before walking out the door Leah turns to me, her arms wrapping around my torso. "Thank you. I...I felt something different tonight. Like you were more into it…or something." She let go and shrugs. "It was nice." She left me staring at the closed door in shock.

Why was this girl consuming me? One way to find out…

I quickly got out my cell phone. "James, come pick me up." I threw down the phone and tore the sheets off of the bed swiftly and applied fresh ones. I took a fast shower and did the best I could with my unruly hair. By the time I arrived back over to the bar I'd estimate that the show would be over in about twenty minutes.

XXXXX

I'm sitting by the entrance of the bar when people start filing out. As I predicted earlier, the band must have gave a stellar performance. Everyone was in good spirits, talking with smiles on their faces. My eyes were darting around the crowd, searching for the girl that had starred in my most vivid fantasy to date. When I had pictured her, I had felt as if I was really seeing her and when I touched her hair and her body, it was like I could really feel her, and not Leah. Thinking about it was making me a hard again. I squelched the thought instantly. I wasn't planning on sitting with another aching crotch until the next client decided to come and relieve me.

What is it about…

That thought disappears…all thoughts disappears, because there she is. Wow. I decided that my imagination wasn't as vivid as I thought. It sucked actually, when it came to the reality. She is, at least, ten times hotter than anything I pictured tonight. She was walking with someone now, another girl.

Thank God. Why? As if I had a chance.

I knew I couldn't leave here without approaching her, without hearing what her voice really sounded like. Not that I could illicit the moan out of her that I craved to hear. But she would be center stage in my dreams for a long while and I wanted to make sure I had an accurate account of all that makes up this girl.

She walks her friend to her car, speaks for a moment, gives her a hug and then walks off. She had pulled the pony-tail holder out of her hair. It came down to her waist line and was blowing behind her in the soft breeze. She was a fucking wet dream. I started to follow her quickly. I don't know which car she drives and I don't want her making an unexpected get-a-way.

She hesitates as she searches for her keys.

It was now or never.

"Hey, darlin' it's nice to see you again. Did you enjoy the show?" I say from behind her. It looks like she hesitated slightly and then she turns around and face me. Those chocolate orbs are wide as saucers, pink slowly filling her cheeks.

She looks perplexed before she says, "I thought you left." Then she winced, apparently not wanting to divulge that piece of information.

She noticed when I took off with Leah?…She was watching me? I start to fill with hope, maybe this wasn't as impossible as I had originally thought. I smile at that.

"Well, I came back for you darlin'. Is there anything I can help you with tonight?" I ask.

My optimism slowly fades when I saw, one, the confusion, and then, two, the comprehension.

Are...you...a..." She stammers and then stops.

She couldn't even say the fucking word. What a joke. Well, I am not going to make this any easier for her, I cross my arms over my chest and wait. Smiling like this wasn't fucking hurting. Maybe I could walk away with some pride.

"Are you a prostitute?" She blurts out. Ouch.

I wasn't going to let her know that she had got to me. I stated matter of factly, and with as much confidence in my voice that I could muster, "Yes ma'am, at your service."

She steps back. She actually took a step back away from me. Like my hooker germs were going to jump from me to her in the space that she had previously allowed between us.

Well fuck this. One person can only stand so much humiliation. The revulsion was on her face. I can't believe I actually thought I would have a chance with someone like her.

I chuckle bitterly and turn to walk away without another word.

"Wait." I hear her say apologetically.

Oh, hell yeah. Hope revisited.

AN: I hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think.