Dying Inside

-HeartbreakDX

Disclaimer: No own.

Pairing: Shawn/Undertaker (Shaker)

Rating: Heavy NC-17

Warnings: Extremely dark themes, torture, rape, blood, guts and gore. This is a heavy fic guys, if you can't stomach this sort of thing DO NOT READ ON! I have warned you, please do not whine to me if you regret not heeding it.

Summary: After being missing for 9 months, Shawn is found in an arena parking lot having been brutally beaten and tortured and near death. There is no telling whether he will survive long enough to be found alive. HEAVY FIC PEOPLE!!!

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Shawn's head flew back as he was hit again. He let it fall forward, too weak to hold himself up any longer. His whole body slumped forward, only the shackles around his wrists that held him kneeling with his arms stretched to either side keeping him from falling face first to the rough stone floor. Blood dripped out of the corner of his mouth to join the stream that was already flowing from his broken nose. For months he had been held here, chained in place. For months he had been starved, only given enough food and water to keep him alive. For months his captors would come and beat him, torture him, have their way with him.

He was a terrible sight to behold. Every inch of his once flawless skin was covered in cuts, bruises, and burns. His whole body was caked in blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids; his hair was a tangled, crazy, matted mess stained red with his own blood. His rib cage was in tatters, every breath he took was a painful struggle. His internal injuries were the worst of it. He was slowly dying and he knew it. He had long ago given up hope of rescue.

He didn't even know how he had gotten here, he did not even remember the last thing that had happened before he'd woken up here. He didn't remember his life before this anymore. Not his friends, not his job, not his boyfriend. All Shawn knew was pain, violation, hunger, thirst, and suffering.

Slowly and painfully he lifted his head to look into his captors' face. Why he still fought, why he still showed his last bit of strength he did not know. This captors laughed as a tear slowly trailed down his cheek. The leader drove his knee into Shawn's stomach and Shawn to gasped and coughed, trying to breathe and expelling blood.

Feeling lightheaded, everything began to spin. The jeering faces of his jailers swam before his eyes, melting together as he slipped into dark oblivion; the only sanctuary he had left. Shawn's body went limp and he fell forward against his restraints. The leader of the men sneered.

"I'm tired of him, he's useless to us now. Dispose of him." he ordered, turning around and striding out the door without a second thought.

Mark sat on his bed and hung his head. 9 months and no sign of his baby. His heart ached. He wanted to believe that Shawn was alive, that he was somewhere awaiting rescue. Still as the weeks slipped past the likelihood of him being found alive, or at all, dwindled to just a desperate lover's dream. He picked up a framed photograph from his pillow. Under the glass, Shawn's bright smile and sweet blue eyes shone back at him.

He lay down on his bed, no THEIR bed. It would always be THEIR bed. The bed they first made love in, the bed beside which he sat as Shawn recovered from his back surgery, the bed where they had both tended to each other in sickness and in health, the bed where they would lie in together for hours just to be close to one another.

Mark would give anything and everything just to have his Darlin' home alive. He desperately wanted to hold his little blond angel in his arms again. Nine months to the day Shawn had been taken from him, all traces of him had vanished. The case was cold, the police had given up, even his friends had lost hope. Only he and his boss Vince, who thought of Shawn as a second son, still kept on looking.

Mark got to his feet and drove his fist into the wall with an anguished scream. The drywall crumbled around it making a sizable hole. The mirror was his next victim, shattering into hundreds of pieces as he drove his fist through it was well. He fell to his knees amongst the wreckage, his hand bleeding, sobbing Shawn's name. He held his picture of Shawn tightly to his chest with his uninjured arm. His body shook violently with his sobs, nothing would ever be able to comfort him until Shawn came home....if he ever came home.

TBC

Author's Note: This story ushers in my triumphant return to writing! YAY! So this has been something stewing about in my head for a very long time and its going to a much darker place than I have gone before. I'm hoping to make this a long fic, I've got a lengthy plot and a short plot both sorta floating around in my head. So we will see! *Please review, I really need your opinions to decide which path I'm going to take with this*. Sorry it is so short but this chappy is my tester s to whether or not to continue!

Happy Reading!

HeartbreakDX