Animal Inuyasha Has Become

A/N: This is a songfic – Animal I have become by Three Days Grace (Great Band/Song!!!). Clarification: This is an APOV (authors point of view…me) making it a third person subjective to Inuyasha. I talk about his inner turmoil's of when he transforms and how he has to handle locking it down to keep his beloved friends safe. Another illumination: I differentiate between Youkai-Yasha and Inuyasha by italicizing the demon 'he' and plain for the…plain Inuyasha.

Enter the Trials and Tribulations of Inuyasha.

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I can't escape this hell…

Inuyasha fled as fast as he could. He felt his blood rise and boil, it bubbled beneath the surface of his flesh. A sure sign he was about to transform into his youkai self. If only things hadn't escalated that far. His emotions tipped to far towards anger, which made unleashing his beast even easier.

So many times I've tried…

He had to run; he could never risk hurting the people most precious to him. Especially her. He wouldn't live to see another day if any harm came her way. Inuyasha had always wanted to become this…monster of power…up until he had met the only person he actually cared for, possibly even loved.

But I'm still caged inside…

He could feel himself lose to his inner beast. His true self would soon fall prey and go into a light unconscious state, handing himself over to the dank dark of despair. He couldn't let this wild, untamed animal rage rampant and loose. He had to protect what little he still had left. He couldn't handle loosing another person close to him.

Somebody get me through this nightmare…

His muscles grew weary, but on he still ran. Never looking back, just straight ahead. He fought to remain in control, several steps ahead of his body-sharing partner. His thoughts and muscles either screamed Help! or End This! Only he, his inner demon, could end this. Inuyasha tried to remain aloft, sinking in his own skin, drowning in the building pressure of the evil animal. He needed to conquer…himself.

I can't control myself…

His grip on reality began to slip. No! His internal monster was winning. Inuyasha was a sore loser, always has been, always will be. This was a duel his counter part could not win. His mind and body strained against his other self. In his head a distant yelp of pain sounded. Good, he hurt himself. His other self, that is. Sweat covered his face…but he had already stopped running moments before.

So what if you can see, the darkest side of me…

Inuyasha cried out, collapsing to the ground in a crumpled heap. He bent forward in a fetal position and grasped his head in his hands, wishing to will away the pain and emptiness of transforming by touch. He was drenched in his own perspiration. Inuyasha's mind began to haze and the edges of his vision started to blur a fuzzy black.

No one will ever change this animal I have become…

Inuyasha gasped, back bowing backwards as if he were baying at the moon. The pain was incredible. It felt as if his soul were ripping in two. Not a pleasant experience. No use in prolonging the inevitable, A shrewd, maniacal voice called in his head, the words resounding uselessly, like an echo. It was him; or rather it was another part of him – another self. The insurmountable throbbing was unbearable and made Inuyasha hide into the complete dark void his mind had created. "KAGOME!" The name rent the air in a cry of distress.

Help me believe, it's not the real me…

Inuyasha had shouted his object of affections name, using it to anchor himself to reality, not the alter dimension his own mind had ensnared him in. Inuyasha's goal was to protect her, not harm her which – if he would change now – would be exactly the sort of thing to happen. He envisioned her in his mind, settling on a good memory. That was enticing and incentive enough to restrain the now powerful chain links of his inner sinner. He would not, and could not, fail this test of brute strength and mind games. It was all in his head, he would chant, just a figment of my imagination. If only that could be the truth.

Somebody help me tame this animal…

The sounds of distant footsteps reached Inuyasha's acute sense of hearing. The gang was calling his name out to the unrelenting woods. The loudest voice of all was Kagome's. Her voice brought with a strange power, leaving his muscles loosened and ready to go. Her voice gave him the juice to run faster, harder. He had to, had to leave them for their own protection. With her voice, the beast within subsided. Although, being able to hear and be near her helped, he still had to run. If not for her safety – which was the main priority – then for his sake of mind.

I can't escape myself…

He wished he could be able to crawl out of his own skin and run to Kagome, lifting her up in his arms and holding her close, knowing the warmth of another person and not the cold, desolate feeling of being a true demon. No sane person should be put through this kind of torture. They would just stay that way, enjoying the sensual feelings of each other. His mouth salivated at the thought and yet there he sat atop a tree's highest branch fighting with himself. His body, convulsing in ways that shouldn't be possible made the branch and the ones around him shake.

Some many times I've lied…

The turmoil within raged, an unsightly horrible thing that lurked in the darkness of his soul was just beneath the surface, ready to strike at a moments notice. Just when Inuyasha let his carefully kept guards down, the monster would attack. In pain, yes. Hating life, affirmative. Protecting who he cares about, check. No matter what he said or did, he was at a huge loss. Thoughts like that put a crack in his shields, giving ample opportunity to leak the animal out. He was going to lo—

But there's still rage inside…

It slipped through his carefully constructed defenses as an ominous black veil seized Inuyasha's mind. His Vision blurred red from the intense anger he felt. He lost…he wasn't able to manage…Inuyasha fell unconscious. Maniacal laughter emitted waves of pain which Inuyasha could feel at the back of his head, the only place he could stay when he was pushed out. The monstrosity loomed over him in the dark corner of his mind and felt overly triumphant.

Somebody get me through this nightmare…

He fell off the tree. He hit the ground with a sickening thud. His friends were coming closer – too close. No, they were there already. That shouldn't be possible. That shouldn't be happening.Kagome shrieked his name in desperation and worry. Sango and Miroku exchanged worried glances. He made incoherent grunting noises until his back arched forward and back. His pupils were rolling continuously to the back of his head so fast it gave his eyes a completely white look. Kagome ran to him, nonetheless. The two older members called in unison to Kagome telling her to step away. She ignored them. "He's transforming!" Shippo screamed, the beginnings of tears welling up in his eyes.

I can't control myself…

She knelt beside him, cradling his shuddering form. Foam formed at the tips of his mouth giving him the wild, rabid animal effect. Then it all suddenly stopped. Kagome held his seemingly lifeless body in her arms. Inuyasha felt something small, heavy, and wet drop on his cheek. On the inside he was yelling for her to stay away. But as he opened his eyes, he knew it was too late. He knew that he made his eyes a startlingly bright red with a purplish blue slit-pupil. He emitted an earsplitting roar that punctured the air like an iron sword.

So what if you can see, the darkest side of me…

Inuyasha had failed himself. He failed them all. He failed her. They were doomed now for his mistake. He had proved he wasn't strong enough…weakling. He grabbed Kagome's arms hard enough to bruise, leaving little puncture marks on her clothes as his nails reshaped and formed into stronger, more durable claws. The area his claws got to started to bleed. His eyes swiftly moved to follow the trailing blood. He made his claws dig deeper so more blood seeped into her clothes. He loved it when she let out a piteous moan. Inuyasha was disgusted with what his other part was doing that he wanted to die. He had fought so hard and it had all come to nothing.

No one will ever change this animal I have become…

She gasped in pain and everyone took a sub-conscious step forward, already thinking of ways to help her. "Stay back," She whispered, face dark. He was snarling at all of them. He hopped up, using muscles that shouldn't have been in place, dropping Kagome, and looked around menacingly. Goading them all to come close and feel his wrath. Kagome stood up, sleeves soaked in splotches of crimson. She staggered towards him, thinking back to how she made his internal monster slip back before. His lip curled warningly, reflexively. It was a sign that the real Inuyasha was still there. He fought with his counter-part, trying to regain control. Nothing he could do would make her stop coming.

Help me believe it's not the real me…

She fell into him, giving him a lopsided hug. He was shocked, Inuyasha was not. He'd seen this act before and it worked. Inuyasha fought along with Kagome to reel his demon back in. He got a good enough hold to wrangle him in. He tried to push her away but couldn't manage. Wha? He thought. Having problem? Inuyasha thought. That's because I'm back and I'm here to stay! Don't think you can hurt my girl and get away with it. Inuyasha's claws receded, eyes fading back to their original state. He let out a long, ragged breath. He won.

Somebody help me tame this animal I have become…

Kagome drooped against his chest, sensing the demonic energy slipping away, dissolving into energy neither good nor evil. She cried due to all the circling emotions swirling in her head. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her lower back, just like he'd thought about doing in the midst of all this. He kissed the top of her head and snuck a glance around. No one was there. Sly foxes…once they knew she was safe they left them alone. All the better. He murmured against her hair, "What are you blubbering about,"

I can't control myself…

"I'm just…sooo happy," Her knees wobbled so he hoisted her higher. Well, if she's this high already…Inuyasha looked down at her. So close. She looked at him. His expression was soft, eyes fierce. He pressed his lips to hers with a passionate fervor. It didn't take long for her to mold her lips to his with equal amount of force. His hands were still on her waist…maybe lower…he couldn't be quite sure, what with all the things that had gone down. Her arms were draped around his neck. They pulled away only to get air and when they did she sputtered, "wha-wha-wha…wait what—" Uncertainty flashed in her eyes. He silenced her with his lips.

Help me believe, it's not the real me. Somebody help me tame this animal…

They were happy – happier now than was before – enemy trapped and sealed within his inner core. The two ended up on the cool, damp grass. He was rubbing circles into her back and thinking. What to do…what to do…lots to do now, after all, she only sealed one of the animals inside of me.

Somebody help me through this nightmare, I can't control myself. Somebody wake me from this nightmare, I can't escape this hell.

So what if you can see the darkest side of me. No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe, it's not the real me, somebody help me tame this animal I have become.

Help me believe, it's not the real me. Somebody help me tame this animal!

This animal I have become…