December 24

"Pony, wake up, we're running out of time."

I bolted straight up in bed, frantically searching the dark room for my brother's lean figure.

"Soda?"

The room was empty and I sunk back into the bed with a frustrated sigh, wishing for once that my imagination wasn't so vivid.

I glanced over at the clock as Soda's voice still echoed through my mind. It was barely five.

I had been awake most the night, tossing and turning, willing my mind to shut down. I couldn't stop thinking about Soda spending Christmas without his family, counting down the days until he was going to be shot at. Sleeping problems had always plagued me, but not like this. The last two nights I'd hardly gotten any shut eye at all.

Then I remembered it was Sunday. He always woke me up early on Sundays, ever since the day after I turned fifteen. My stomach wrenched tight as the memories flooded in.

"Where are we going?" I grumble, rubbing sleep from my eyes.

"You'll see." Soda pulls me up to a sitting position, grinning ear to ear, like a little kid who's bursting to let out a big secret. "Hurry Pone, get dressed before we run out of time."

"Out of time to do what?"

"You'll see."

Before I know it I'm half through the front door with my brother bouncing up and down around me,

shoving a pair of sneakers into my hand.

I stumble into the passenger side of Darry's truck, groggily peering out the window as the sun starts to climb over the horizon.

The truck pulls away from the curb as I throw one shoe on and then the other, resisting the urge to pester him again about where we're heading.

Three blocks later Soda pulls the truck over and puts it in park. Aggravation starts to grow in me at being kept in the dark and I open my mouth to let my frustrations known, but Soda silences me with a crazy grin. He hops out of the truck and opens up my door.

"Scoot over."

I stare at him bewildered. "Why?"

"Why do you think?"

At first I'm confused, then it dawns on me. "You want me to drive?"

"You got it," he confirms, his eyes dancing from excitement, as he shoves me over and climbs in beside me. He's acting like it's his birthday instead of mine and I don't want to damper his mood but I hesitate anyway.

"What's the matter?" He asks, sensing my reluctance.

"Nothing, I just ain't itching to be grounded til' I'm eighteen."

Soda's soft laughter fills the cab of the truck as he pats my arm, reassuringly. "Relax, Darry ain't gonna find out, and even if he did, he'd have to ground me too, it is my idea."

"Easy for you to say, you'll be eighteen in a couple of months," I huff, "I've still got three years."

But I put the truck in gear anyway, pulling it away from the curb with ease.

I couldn't help but grin as I thought back to that day. Soda didn't teach me to drive, he had just reintroduced that pleasure into my life. A pleasure that I hadn't experienced since our parents had been killed.

My dad had been adamant about us learning how to drive at an early age. It was another rite of passage to him, one that he took seriously. We learned to bait a hook at four, aim and shoot at eight, and drive at twelve. Mom had never been too tickled by the idea of her 'babies' behind the wheel of a car, but she allowed it anyway.

Since they died Darry refused to let me drive at all. If the state got news that I'd been pulled over without a license we'd be separated. My brother's rule was justified, which made it that much harder to break, but once I had I couldn't go back.

Sunday driving 'practice' with Soda became a ritual and if Darry knew anything about it he never let on. We'd always top off the tank on the way home, so there would be nothing for him to act suspicious about.

The urge to be behind the wheel once again hit me strong and I glanced over at the clock again. Darry wouldn't be up for a while yet. Sundays were the only day of the week for him to sleep in and it was a rarity to see him up before seven. I pushed the covers off of me and swung my legs onto the floor.

A drive around the block wouldn't hurt anything and it'd give me time to think things over, besides I knew Soda would approve. He had said so on our final Sunday together.

"This is it," I huffed, reluctantly bringing the truck to a stop. "Our last ride."We had stayed out later than usual and Darry would be up before we got back home this time. I knew he'd just think we were spending some time together, considering Soda's bus to basic left the next day.

Soda scooted over in the seat and I reached for the driver's door so we could switch places, but he put a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

"It's not our last ride," he whispered.

I nodded and stared at the floor blinking back tears that were determined to fall.

"I know that," I insisted, once I trusted myself to speak. "I just wish we didn't have to wait so long for the next one."

"Then don't."

I looked up at him this time, perplexed. "What do you mean don't?"

"I mean take the truck out every once and a while, just be back before Darry gets up and make sure you think of me when you're doing it."

I nodded, wordlessly, doubting I would ever do such a thing, not without him.

Now it didn't seem like such a bad idea. It wouldn't be the same without Soda, but at least I'd get the chance to get out and think for awhile.

I dressed hurriedly and headed out into the hallway, stopping to sneak a quick peek at Darry snoring soundly. After making my way out of the bathroom, I found his keys on the kitchen counter and tiptoed out the front door.

I thought for sure that I was going to get busted getting the truck started up. The loud rumble of the engine broke the silence of early morning and I thought the whole neighborhood would come out to see what the commotion was. After shooting one last glance at the front door to make sure Darry wasn't on his way out to stop me, I drove off.

I had honestly intended just to take it around the block a few times, but my subconscious took over and before I knew it I was only twenty minutes away from the lake. The chances of making it all the way out there and back before Darry woke up were slim, but I didn't care. I'd risk being grounded for another week or two just for the chance to stare at the blue water, if only for a minute or two.

I parked the truck on the side of the road and started down the trail that would take me down to the water. With each step I was transported back into my childhood. Dad's soft laughter echoed comfortingly through the trees, and I felt the urge to join in along with him.

Every summer, for as long as I could remember, we'd come out to this lake to camp and fish. I had learned how to bait my own line and gut my own fish here. Cutting open fish had no appeal to me and I'd barely get through the first one before running off with Soda to leave Dad and Darry with the rest.

I found a dry patch of dirt on top of the cliff that I'd often jumped off of in the past, thinking back to our last trip out here. It was the summer I turned thirteen. Dad had taken a Friday off and we spent three days up here, just us guys, fishing, hiking and swimming.

It had been a blast, up until that Sunday when we were getting ready to drive back. All our gear was packed away and ready to go. Soda had begged dad for one last swim and he had finally relented. Dad never had a problem saying no to my brother, but sometimes it was just easier to give in. Pick your battles is the way he had put it.

I made to jump off this very cliff, when Soda leaped on top of me and we both tumbled gracelessly into the water below. At the angle we fell, my right shoulder was the first to make impact into the blue water. Instead of gliding through like butter, it was like I had hit a cement block. I made my way to shore, clutching my arm with my other hand.

Dad took one look at it, put in a makeshift sling and drove over to the closest ER where doctors determined that my shoulder had been fractured. I spent three long weeks with my arm in a sling that summer, but I wouldn't take it back for the world, especially now with Dad gone and Soda miles away.

I continued to stare out at the lake, taking in the scenery, looking back at other memories that I wish I could relive right then. Time passed quickly and before I knew it, it was already pushing six thirty, and I still had a long drive back. . I jumped up, brushed myself off and sprinted down the path that would lead me towards the truck, hoping that Darry had decided to sleep in late this morning.

Thanks for reading :)