How to Annoy Eragon

Tips on how to irritate, irk, enrage, bother, annoy, aggravate, exasperate, and infuriate everyone's favorite dragon-rider!

Hello, everyone! Sorry….I can be a cruel person. Don't really mean it-I promise!

Spray paint his sword red-tell him Murtagh swapped it with Thorn

Ask him how many times he actually destroyed a major enemy on his own.

Spray paint Saphira purple

Tell him girls are more interested in his brother then him

Remark about how the dragons chose a chump THIS time

Tell Galbatorix that he still wears tightie-wighties

Read his palm like Angela the Herbalist. Remark that he will be rich one day. Tell him that hand is outdoor map of his future chateau. Trace

out a tennis court, a fountain, a hedge maze….

….then spit in his palm and tell him, "That's your swimming pool."

Become a serving maid. Lick every piece of fruit before it reaches him.

Mention the fact that Arya dumps him….again.

Put in a side note that one of the last Dragon Rider's of this land couldn't woe an elf

Tell him that people with hands smaller then their faces are known to be biographically affected by cancer sometime in their life. When he

raises his hand to check, hit the back of his palm, causing said boy to slap himself in face.

Steal enchanted belt with stones set around the center. Sell it for fruit.

Have everyone in the Varden dress like the Ra'zac.

Videotape time he was trapped upon cliff to give to America's Funniest Home Videos. End up winning a prize.

If he gets angry, sic the fangirls upon him.

Sell his clothing to rabid fangirls.

Paste his diary on the Internet.

Give signed copy to King Galbatorix.

Tell him that Arya is desperately in love with him

Give Saphira another paint job

While the dwarves are celebrating the Star Rose's completion, remind who broke the thing in the first place.

Put Scottish kilt on him-paste pictures on youtube

Join the Empire

Tell Nasuada that Eragon has nursed a crush on her

Ask him if he would like some "seafood" at dinner. When he responds, open your mouth wide (Full of chewed food) and say loudly, "See....

FOOD!"

Ask him if he would like a Hertz Donut. When he responds, sock him as hard as you can and ask him, "Hurts, don't it?"

Show him a Murtagh/Eragon fiction

Call him a common farm boy

Do a DNA test. Discover that Morzan really IS Eragon's father

Still be alive after all this.