FOR THE LOVE OF CALORIES
BY: AMARA
Author's Note: Thanks a GAZILLION for those who reviewed! Really. I love you guys. If I can, I would marry all of you. Lolz. Enjoy the story!
DISCLAIMER: The ususal... Oh! And I have absolutely nothing against Dwayne Johnson's abs. Really.
CHAPTER 4
My Idol
By: Uchiha Karin
Everybody has someone they admire. The only difference is some may idolize graduated nerds and loaded goons while others choose the rest of the insignificant human race. Like everybody else, I have somebody I idolize, too. But unlike those other losers, however, I am a true follower. Actually, follower is an understatement. I kiss the very ground this person walks on and can sense his presence by just sniffing the air. This man happens to be the man of my dreams and the sole reason I even bother come to school. This man is Uchiha Sasuke, my future boyfriend cum future husband.
Yes, the person I admire is a Rock Star but there is nothing wrong with idolizing his kind of people, now, is there? It's an honourable and coveted task for the brave and loyal. And no, I do not agree that televisions and internet are the cause of the birth of one too many morons. Politicians just don't have anything better to do but slander the beauty that is mass communication. It's a slow year, I guess.
I have been Uchiha Sasuke's follower and fan ever since before his rise to fame. The first time I saw him was during my third year in primary school (which happened to be his first day back in Tokyo after moving to Hong Kong three years prior). We are fated like that, you see, seeing as I've known him ever since then. This proves that I do not love him because of his fame and money alone like his slutty fan girls-wannabes who are way above their heads. Unlike them, I've known Sasuke for exactly eight months and 26 days. I think-No, I know- that I am Sasuke's THE ONE.
Sasuke was born on July 23rd and is now a senior at Konoha Academy for The Gifted. He may be young but he already has three Konoha Music Awards and five Fire Awards, not including all the nominations for the upcoming Television Music Awards (TVM Awards) and TVM Music Video Awards. 'Icha-Icha Bent!' named him 'Most Ideal Lover Ever' while 'Seventeen and a Half Magazine' hailed him as 'The Adonis of the Century' among the many other titles. I can keep writing but it will take forever and I just had a manicure so if you really want to know, just go to my shrine/blog instead, okay? .com (It even has baby pictures of him!)
But back to business. The reason I love Sasuke is because he is hot. He is also really smart and talented. When he sings I hear bells jingling- not like the kind you hear from the medieval ice cream trucks which do not know the meaning of technology but like those things you hang in your porch to make noises when the wind blows-. Only his voice is more beautiful and obviously is worded. Furthermore, he is loaded and has connections everywhere not to mention the fact that his brother is really good looking, too. Of course, I love Sasuke more than Itachi. I know where my loyalty stands.
'Sasuke Monthly' magazine reported that Sasuke's most precious item happens to be the black Lamborghini he uses to drive to school. Personally, I think it's really cool when he drives with his wind-swept hair and awesome shades. As for his hobbies, he loves racing and playing the many sports he always indulges in when he is not singing. His closest allies happen to be his Seven band mates.
Despite his busy schedule, gracing the world with his beauty and hotness and all, he is active in his extracurricular activities. In fact, he plays sports for every season. I mean, who does that? So do you see why I can't help but idolize him? You would too if you were normal. And gay.
He is perfect.
I am writing this while staring lovingly at his beautiful back. Did you know he is very muscular? Not like Dwayne Johnson's man-boobs moving kind, but the nice kind which are not like Dwayne Johnson's man-boobs moving type. You know what I mean right, Kakashi-sensei?
This is long enough, I guess. Before my nails break from all this writing, I'll end my essay with this: I love Sasuke and he is mine. So back off, people!
I really mean it.
No, really.
The End
Karin, I am pretty sure my instruction was to write a 1500 word essay about an influential political figure of the 20th Century. I can assure you that Uchiha Sasuke is not included in the list. And my notes included, this does not even amount to 1000 words.
See me.
Kakashi
P/s: Since when did the Uchihas adopt you?
PP/s: No, I do not know what you mean.
DOCTOR FAIRY PRINCESS SAKURA'S TOP SECRET DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: FIVE AND A HALF
SCHOOL: MARIE ATOINETTE INTERNATIONAL PRESCHOOL, PARIS
Dear Diary,
Daddy and Mommy are taking me out for ice cream! We never usually get to eat out like this. They are always busy. But I am so happy.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear diary,
Daddy said we are moving to Tokyo soon. I don't want to move to Tokyo. I like staying here in Paris. Tokyo is a very weird name. Daddy said I used to live there. I don't remember ever going to a place with such a weird name.
Diary, I don't want to move.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear Diary,
Mommy said we are moving next week. That is seven days from now, in case you didn't know. I asked Aunty Tsunade where Tokyo was and she said it was in Japan.
Japan is such a weird name, too.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear Diary,
Today Jean Claude made his yucky tomato dish for lunch. I didn't want to eat. I don't like tomatoes. They taste like watery ketchup. But Grandma Chiiyo said if I ate them, she will give me chocolate.
Chocolate is good. I love chocolate. Yummmm!
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear Diary,
Fleur and Nanette, my bestest best friends in the whole wide universe, made me a beautiful bye-bye card. There were lots and lots of glitter. I only got to talk to them for five minutes though but I promised I will come and visit. Daddy said I will have lots of new friends in Tokyo. I hope so. They told me I can play with Ami, Aunty Shiho's and Uncle Akira's daughter. I wonder how she looks like. Will she laugh weirdly like Aunty Shiho? That would be funny. But I cannot laugh in front of her, though. Mommy said it's rude.
I will laugh behind her!
Oh, our flight is here. Grandma said I should say goodbye to Paris. That is weird. I didn't know countries were alive.
Au revoir, Paris.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear diary,
The airplane is so boring. I asked Aunty Tsunade to play with me since everybody else was sleeping. She said she was going to tell me ANECDOTES of her childhood (anecdotes, she says, is a fancy word for story).
Diary, Aunty Tsunade says she is not actually my aunty. She says she is just a family friend. Then why do I call her aunty? I still love her more than Aunty Shiho, though. I think Aunty Shiho's laugh is quite scary. I can see her tonsils moving when she does it.
Aunty Tsunade's stories were very funny!
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear diary,
Tokyo is pretty like Paris. There are lots and lots of lights so it is very bright even though it is night time already. I told Mommy we should wear sunglasses but she laughed at me. That was not nice.
Our house is pretty, too. We have a swimming pool. But I cannot swim in there yet because the water is deep.
Aunty Tsunade is not living with us but she promised to come often and bring me new books. I like reading. It's very fun!
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
P/s: I learned how to use post-scrip toms.
PP/s: I gave myself a pat on the back.
Dear diary,
We are meeting Aunty Shiho's family today. I am very excited. Aunty Tsunade is not coming. She says she does not like Aunty Shiho because she is a 'beach'. I don't understand how someone can be a beach though. Mommy looked a bit cross when she said that. Mommy is scary when she is cross. She told me to stop bouncing in the car as it will disturb Daddy's driving. Alfred has a cold so we have to drive ourselves.
Poor, Alfred. I hope he gets better soon so he can take me out for ice cream.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear Diary,
I am in big trouble. I broke Aunty Shiho's vase. Ami says it is very expensive. I am so scared. Ami promised she won't tell anyone and helped me throw all the shards away.
I like Ami. She is nice.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
P/s: She does laugh like Aunt Shiho
DOCTOR FAIRY PRINCESS SAKURA'S TOP SECRET DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: SIX YEARS OLD
SCHOOL: KONOHA PRESCHOOL, TOKYO
Dear Diary,
I hate Ami.
She made fun of my forehead again. I wanted to tell her that even if she finds my forehead repulsive (it means ugly, by the way ), her laugh is worse. But I didn't because she might tell on me. She said she would make sure everybody knows that I broke her mother's expensive vase if I told anyone that she bullies me.
Diary, I am very sad.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear diary,
I found a new friend today. Her name is Ino. She saved me from getting bullied by Ami. She is very brave. She is my new best friend. I want to be more confident like her. That is my goal!
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
Dear Diary,
Today my class learned about ninjas. Female ninjas are called 'Kunoichi'. I want to be a super duper strong Kunoichi when I am older. That way I can beat Ami up when she teases me again.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Kunoichi Sakura
Dear Diary,
Today Tenten and Hinata joined Ino and I when we played 'Kunoichi' with Naruto. They are very funny. We played until the teacher ordered us to go to the 'Hot Seat'. It was Naruto's fault. He wouldn't let anybody else be Hokage and Tenten grew cross. She hit him on the head. Miss Ayame saw it and gave us all timeout. I've never had a timeout before. What if Mommy and Daddy finds out and get really, really mad?
But it was still a fun day.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Kunoichi Sakura
DOCTOR FAIRY PRINCESS SAKURA'S TOP SECRET DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: SEVEN YEARS OLD
SCHOOL: KONOHA PRIMARY FOR SELECTIVE STUDENTS, TOKYO
Dear Diary,
I got first place in class. I can't wait to tell Mommy and Daddy and everybody else. Ami didn't do well. It's mean but I am happy that she is not as smart as me.
Today Naruto fell off his chair while sleeping again. It was very funny. I laughed until I cried.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Kunoichi Sakura
Dear Diary,
Ami and her friends ganged up on me again. Ino was absent so they decided to push me around. I scraped my knee and now it's bleeding.
Mommy asked what happened and I told her I fell down. I don't like lying to Mommy.
Love,
Doctor Fairy Princess Sakura
SAKURA'S TOP SECRET DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: NINE YEARS OLD
SCHOOL: KONOHA PRIMARY FOR SELECTIVE STUDENTS, TOKYO
Dear Diary,
I don't want to be bullied by Ami and her posse anymore. She doesn't dare hit me anymore but I hate it when she calls me names.
She didn't come today. I wonder why? She loves flaunting her new clothes on Mondays. It's the days where everybody tells each other about their weekends.
I wish she never comes to school again. I will rejoice in her absence.
Love,
Sakura
Dear Diary,
I feel sick. Ami is dying and it is my entire fault.
Ami didn't come to school today because her family was involved in an accident. Aunty Shiho and Uncle Akira had died before they even arrived at the hospital. I can't believe it. I wish this is all a bad dream.
Diary, I promise, if Ami gets well, I will never tell on her. I will treat her nicely even when she is mean to me. Please, just let her wake up again.
Love,
Sakura
Dear Diary,
Ami is coming to our house today. She is staying with us from now onwards. I will try to make her happy. She must be very sad after losing her parents so suddenly. I can't imagine having that happen to me.
Love,
Sakura
Dear Diary,
Ami is still not doing well. She refuses to eat and is always crying. I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty. If I had not wished for her to never come back, perhaps her parents would still be alive? Daddy has decided to bring all of us to Beijing. We are going to move there for his business.
I don't want to move but this is all my fault.
I've been eating a lot lately, too. I just don't know what else to do.
Love,
Sakura
SAKURA'S TOP SECRET DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: 11 YEARS OLD
SCHOOL: CHURCHILL ACADEMY FOR GIRLS, LONDON
Dear Diary,
I thought physical attributes comes second? So what if I am pudgy? I hate these people.
I hate myself more, though.
Why am I so ugly? I have no sense of control over my hunger. I get bullied, I get mad and I eat. It's a never ending cycle and I am getting fatter and fatter.
Luckily, Mom and Dad don't care about my body size. Still, it comes with their job. They're supposed to love me no matter what. I don't know whether to feel insulted or relieved. It's only my first day in London and I am already miserable.
Lots of Love,
Sakura
Dear Diary,
I think Ami and I have come to an understanding. We ignore each other and forget the past. I like the arrangement. She doesn't bully me anymore and we live our separate lives.
Love,
Sakura
Dear Diary,
I miss Grandma Chiiyo and Aunt Tsunade. They don't want to move around with us anymore. They love Japan and want to 'settle down'.
Well, so do I. I miss Ino-pig, Tenten and Hinata so much. I wonder how they are doing.
Love,
Sakura
SAKURA'S TOP SECRET DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: 14 YEARS OLD
SCHOOL: SNOUCK HURGONJE INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL, BERLIN
Dear Diary,
The school body has found a new nick name for me.
'Fatso'.
Really. You would think that coming from rich families they would have come up with a more creative insult. I'm ignoring them and choose to concentrate on my studies. Really, what else do you expect me to do? Cry?
Please. That is so elementary.
Okay, so I am hurt. It hurts so much to only have 10 acquaintances that are all in the same boat but still choose to study to block the insults. The worst thing?
I am one of them.
Dear Diary,
We're moving. Again.
Big surprise there. This time, however, it is not for the sake of Dad's business. Okay, it is a little but it is more so for Ami who will start her first day of school after years of home-schooling.
Great. Really. Now I can further expand the list of my nicknames.
And guess where our next destination is?
New York.
Believe it.
SAKURA'S DIARY
NAME: HARUNO SAKURA
AGE: 15 YEARS OLD
SCHOOL: WALDORF INSTITUTION, NEW YORK
Dear Diary,
You think an institution brimming with intellects would go pass physical barriers.
You think they would but no. This is never the case. Beauty first, brains and everything else can take the back seat.
Sometimes I worry about the generation I live in. Next thing you know, fashion faux pas will be an international offence discussed in the United Nations.
Dear Diary,
Do you think it's sad that you are the only thing I talk to? Because, really, even I am getting creeped out by my own self. Ami was the one who pointed it out to me. Honestly, if she didn't I don't think I would have noticed at all.
Thanks, Ami. Really, thank you for indirectly insulting me.
Did I mention that she was beginning to pick up her old habits? Because she is. But I'm not that pushover little girl anymore. She may have her pretty face but I have my brains to back me up. She always loses in our verbal arguments and she never physically attacks me, even when she is so obviously tempted to. I didn't take up Judo for nothing you know.
Talking to you is still weird though.
Dear Diary,
The only silver linings about living in New York which I can see are these.
Ami and I are not in the same school as she is too dumb to understand what goes on in Math despite all the home-schooling she had been doing.
The education system of this school is hands down dictatorship cum slavery. It's good. I like studying. Beats getting worked up over stupid pranks. I am happy to say that I still maintain my position as the top scorer even after almost ten years.
Dear Diary,
I had just found this new cafe. It is tres amazing! No, really. The cupcakes they have is so good, I bought a dozen of them. I think I want to work there. At least I can learn their recipes and NOT open another shop with their ingredients.
-Insert evil laugh-
I rock.
Oh, yeah.
Dear Diary,
It's been a really long day. I got the job, alright. Now I just have to figure out where to cramp all my extra classes into the day.
And Mom wonders why I eat so much.
It's so stressful. Okay, partly habitual but I am still stressed. Miss Lively's class alone is enough to send the faintest of the hearts into an asylum. God, I never knew AP Biology could be so violent. And illegal. You should have seen the way she smiled when she cut open that man's chest. She was positively glowing. And when Derrick asked if bringing in a body into a high school classroom was even legal, her smile (more like two lines twitching upwards due to stroke) widened.
Okaaaayyy... I'm just going to ignore that incident and purge it out of my brain. I swear that woman watches too much Saw movies.
Dear Diary,
For some funny reason, Kylie came to the nerd table and talked to me. My eyebrows must have shot up to outer space because I couldn't feel them afterwards. I hope they went to Saturn. It looks pretty from the pictures I've seen with its rings and all.
But back to Kylie.
Yeah... Weird.
Dear Diary,
I think I'm dropping Cantonese. Personally, I think I could already become an accomplished translator at this rate. How many language classes do I have to take in a lifetime, really? I mean, I get that it would be a waste to let my knowledge rot and shrivel up but HELLO!
I'm already skipping two grades. Any further unneeded stress will cause me to combust.
Seriously.
Dear Diary,
It turns out that Little Miss Popular needs my help in Math. HAH!
I knew there was a hidden agenda. The resident slut had made me human target from Day 1. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason you ought to never bully your fellow nerds and geeks. One day, you'll end up working for US. And when that time comes, there shall be hell to pay.
Excuse me while I gloat at this new turn of events.
Dear Diary,
I must have died while sleeping. Pinch me before I start to get hopeful. No, really, please.
Because The Slut Crew offered me a peace offering: No bullying and taunting until I graduate.
In exchange? I tutor the Slut Queen until she gets a B for her finals.
How can I say no to that?
Dear Diary,
I should've said no. I should've just said no.
But NOOO! I just had to fucking agree.
Karma is being a bitch right now. And the girl in front of me is being a total dumbass. And that word doesn't even cover it.
Neither taunting nor jeering can ever amount to this... This frustration.
How many brain cells does Kylie have?
Twelve?
I wouldn't be surprised. The douche bag can't even add and subtract properly. How the hell did she even enter this school in the first place?
Wait. Don't answer that.
...
This would be a good time to go hang myself.
Dear Diary,
FINALLY! PROGRESS!
We can finally move to multiplication and division. And that only took us what? Six weeks?
In no time she'll be acing her tests. Really.
Oh, who am I kidding? She's a lost cause. I may as well throw their peace offerings back into their faces. Though it would be such a waste. I'll miss not being bullied.
GAH!
There has to be a way. Any way at all.
Dear Diary,
I am such a genius. Why didn't I come up with this sooner?
I told Kylie to coax Mr Fartsworth (I still cannot not laugh when I read or hear his name. What were his ancestor thinking when they gave that name to themselves? God, some people are so surreal) to set the questions only limited to basic math.
And by coax I mean bribe. I don't know what form of bribery she and her Slut Crew gave him but I don't want to know. At all.
Our tutor sessions are still on. She needs all the help that she can get. And by I mean all, I mean a lot. But for what it's worth, she can be rather funny when she's not out to make life a living hell. We actually have some things we share in common. Like our love for gorgeous shoes.
So I love pretty things. Sue me.
Still, she is beyond dumb and utterly bimbotic that she drives me up the wall. But that may be caused by falling head first from her pyramid one too many times.
Cheerleading is scary like that.
I wonder how Ami can want to become one at her school. Oh, well. Not exactly my problem. She never was smart to begin with so what difference does it make?
Oh, god...
I still can't believe that I was idiotic enough to let her use the 'Vase Story' to bully me.
And if she's dumb, where does that leave me?
...
A super stupid Fatso who has an affair with her diary.
OKAY, PEOPLE!
Lots of horizontal rulers used, I know. It would be really ugly and confusing if I didn't use them.
So just bear with me, kay?
AND!
- This story was really, really hard to write. I had to lower my IQ level to write Karin's essay. Man, that was hard. And the childhood diaries of Sakura's were WORSE! I think I made her sound too old for her age.
Oh, well. She is smart like that, yeah? So no biggie. Hehehe... And inform me about any mistakes and typos. I'll edit them. Soon. Sometime. Hee... PEACE!
And!
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Loves,
Amara