Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and her publishers; no money is being made.

Draco looked down at the hospital bed in despair. There he was, Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the man who had killed Voldemort, Potions Master in training, his boyfriend with whom he'd been living together for two years now.

And he was a teddy bear.

"How is that even possible?"

I've got no idea. And even if I had, it's not like anyone could bloody hear me.

It wasn't directly a voice, more like thoughts made audible in a strange way. They sounded like Harry. And they were in Draco's mind.

"Um…Harry? Can you hear me?"

Of course I can! The thoughts sounded clearly disgruntled. I'm a stuffed toy, not an idiot! But you can't hear me and…God, why am I even answering him?

"Well…" Draco was pretty sure that he looked like an idiot, standing here and talking to a plush bear. "I can hear you too."

Really? Less disgruntlement; now Harry sounded hopeful. Nobody else can. The Healers were talking about me all the time like I wasn't even there!

Draco could have sworn that the bear was frowning.

It would make sense, kind of, Harry mused. I wouldn't know, but children always say they can hear their teddy bears talk.

"I'm not a child!" Although Draco more and more felt like one, conversing with a toy. He wondered what any of the Healers would say if they decided to stop by right now.

No, but I'm your teddy bear. You even call me that sometimes. If the voice had sounded the tiniest bit smug, it lasted only for some seconds. I never thought it would happen literally. Snape will have an aneurism when he finds out; he always tells me not to experiment when he's gone.

"And he's right. Look what happened; this is ridiculous! My boyfriend is a teddy bear! The Healers have no idea what to do to revert it. We'll have to wait until Severus comes back, and that's in two weeks! What are we supposed to do?"

There was no response to Draco's rant.

"Harry?"

Nothing.

Sighing, he sat down at the edge of the bed.

"Look," he tried, "I know this must be…difficult." And wasn't that a euphemism. He'd been scared out of his wits – and quite humiliated too – when he'd been turned into a ferret, but at least he'd been a real animal, not one made of cloth and wadding.

"There's nothing physically wrong with you, is there?" If looks could kill, he'd definitely be dead now. "I mean, beside being a teddy bear. You're a…well, a healthy teddy bear, right?"

Harry agreed glumly.

"Well…" Draco smiled, taking the teddy's small paw in his hand. It was pleasantly soft. "Then there's no reason you have to stay here until you're back to normal."

Even though it was impossible, Harry's black glass eyes were growing bigger and suspiciously shiny.

You…you'd take me home with you? Like this?

"Why not?" Draco carefully picked the little bear up. "It won't be that bad."

Two days later, he was ready to take that statement back.

I'm booored, Harry whined for the tenth time that afternoon.

Draco had taken the time until Severus return off from work – in the two years of their cohabitation, Harry hadn't managed to convince him that they needed a TV, in front of which he could have placed the immobile bear while he was gone, and Draco had refused to be an Auror who carried around a stuffed toy at work.

They had talked, listened to music, and Draco had even taken Harry for a short flight, although he'd been happy that it had been a cloudy day and nobody could see him ride a broom with the head of a teddy bear poking out of his robes. A teddy bear who was yelling: "YEEEEEHAAA!" repeatedly. Well, at least nobody but him could hear the ear-splitting shriek.

But now Harry was bored, and for the last hour, he hadn't stopped whining and pestering Draco to read him a book. No, not just any book. That book.

"Can't it be another one? How about Quidditch through the Ages, or The Mysterious Boggart Castle – it's great, I finished it last week, remember?"

No, I don't like your mystery novels, you know that. Please, Draco? I'd read you what you like if you were in my place. Please?

Harry's voice was as endearing as ever, and the teddy bear looked – Draco had to admit it – so cute that he couldn't resist.

"All right, but no more than an hour!"

With a sigh, he plucked the desired book from the shelf, sat down on the couch, and placed Harry on his lap.

"The things I do in the name of love," he grumbled before he resumed reading where Hary had left.

"And then, as the room went black, I was suddenly hyper-aware that Edward was sitting less than an inch from me. I was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through me…"

More than two hours later, they had finally reached the end of the book.

"…his face. 'Look,' I said, 'I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn't that enough?' – 'Yes, it is enough,' he answered, smiling. 'Enough for forever.' And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat."

Draco closed the book, shaking his head. "I don't get it. This is utter trash! I'll never understand how you got past the first ten pages! When I tried, I didn't even make it through three! And vampires? There's nothing romantic about real vampires! What is it about this ridiculously bad teenage romance nonsense anyway?"

I like it, the teddy bear informed him in a pouting tone.

"But why? It's not even written well! Every second sentence starts with 'I', and the way she's obsessing over him… It's for fifteen-year-olds kids, and you're over twenty!"

I still like it! It's not like I had time for this teenage romance nonsense when I actually was a teenager, considering how most of the time, I had to worry about some maniac or other being after me and trying to get me killed!

Damn, but how did Harry manage to make him feel guilty whenever he complained about something like this? Draco put the book away and started petting the teddy's head.

"Sorry," he finally mumbled. The book was still trash, and Harry surely wouldn't expect –

Can you read me the second one tomorrow? Harry pleaded softly. Please?

"But I…"

You know, Harry went on, whenever she talks about Edward like that, I have to think of you.

"Um…" Was that supposed to be a compliment? Considering how dreamy Harry sounded, probably yes.

"Oh, fine, I'll read it."

Thank you. Draco hadn't known stuffed toys could look so grateful. I love you.

The tone of utter adoration made the book almost bearable, he supposed. "Love you too."

There was a small mental sigh. Wish I could show it to you.

"Well…" Now that thought was just weird.

We could cuddle on the couch, just like now, and you could pet me, just like now…

So far, so good. No need to think any further.

And we could kiss… I love kissing you when you've just had coffee, like now, it tastes good. My tongue in your mouth, your hands in my hair…

"Harry…" Draco tried to imagine kissing a teddy bear: it would taste strange, of cloth and probably a little dust – no, kissing Harry was out of the question, no matter how much he usually liked it. Liked how Harry's lips were so soft, how his body was so warm, how he'd hold Draco close, squirming against him…

…and my breath ghosting over your neck and ear, giving you goosebumps all over. You're so sexy when you shiver like that.

Draco was hard. Hard from a plush bear talking dirty to him.

Damn.

He could just do something else. Go have a cold shower perhaps. Oh yes, he would do just that.

We could take off our clothes…

There was still the problem of Harry to consider.

"I…uh…I'm gonna…"

…and I'd kiss you all over, your neck, your shoulders, your chest...

Was Harry just ignoring him? Whatever, he was going to take a shower. Now! Draco made a move to get up.

…and suck your nipples, and then bite one of them hard and make you scream…

Draco slumped back onto the couch, clutching the bear tightly. He felt flushed. His hard-on was even worse than before.

…and then, slowly, I'd make my way down to your cock. Was it possible for soft toys to talk in a husky voice? I like your cock. Love it. Love to touch it. Taste it… Husky. Definitely yes.

Draco moaned lightly.

I'd kiss it, just the head, so soft, so light, you'd barely feel it at all…

Draco inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. One of his hands was still clutching Harry, but the other wandered down without him even noticing.

Then I'd lick it, all the way down to your balls, and up again, slowly, and then again…

Oh, but that felt good… Again moaning softly, Draco started rubbing his cock gently through his robes. Just the idea of Harry sucking him was driving him insane - Harry knew perfectly that it was what he liked best. And then Harry's voice, Harry's soft, teasing voice…

Now I'm taking you in my mouth; it's so hot around you, hot and wet, and you taste so good, Draco. My Draco.

Panting, Draco increased his speed. Fuck Harry being a teddy, it didn't matter. Not when this was so good, not when he could almost feel Harry's mouth around his cock.

I love you, Harry whispered into his mind. Love you so much, and now I'm sucking you, sucking hard and fast and…

"Aaah!"

Draco jerked awake with a moan, a wet feeling in his pyjama trousers.

"What the…"

A dream. Breathing heavily, he sank back into the pillows. It had been a dream. A weird, perverted, kind of disgusting…very erotic dream.

For some time, he lay motionless, allowing himself to return to reality, before finally, he grabbed his wand from the bedside table and performed a cleaning charm on himself.

"Dreaming about wanking to Harry's voice while he's a teddy bear," he muttered. "I'd never hear the end of it if I told him when he comes back."

Turning in bed, he felt his fingers brush against something soft and furry. With a yelp, he snatched back his hand – only to call himself an idiot moments later.

"Lumos."

There he was: Harry Junior, the teddy bear Harry had given him for whenever he wasn't at home over night. Draco had protested that it was ridiculous and childish, but he hadn't refused the gift, and he'd taken it with him to bed whenever Harry wasn't there. Like tonight.

But no more. At least for this night, he'd had enough. Determined, he grabbed the soft toy and put it on the bedside table.

"You!" he announced firmly. "You're staying out of my bed tonight."

The teddy seemed to stare at him accusingly. Draco turned off the light.

Half an hour later, he was still awake. The room was pitch-black, and yet he imagined he could see the teddy still looking at him.

Another five minutes went by.

The stare persisted.

"Oh, well." He took the toy and lay back, holding it close to his chest. "Only cuddling, no more. Understood?"

There was no objection.