Sin: Hello many readers of ages, height and genders!! I have offically managed to slowly but surely finish this chapter after juggling it along with bastard ex's, chaotic family life and demon exams but alas! I have done chapter one to MOS!!!!!
This story is basically my mind plastered on paper, word document and sketch pads, my Oc's are based off myself and my three closest friends, K-chan, Lulu and Baby Boy but I have kinda mushed em together and POOF! amazing Oc's
Sooooooo R&R if you wish to and I don't own transformers but if I did I would have had Megatron have a penis shaped helm XD
Memoirs of a Squishy
Life sucks.
This is the opening of my 'fun packed, happily ever after' life, just a bundle of barfed up rainbows right?
Bull Shit.
Basically my life consists of being a usual teenager, I'm not a street racer by night, I don't have super powers and I sure as hell ain't some emoy, angst heroine who uses her anguished soul and miraculous talents of being able to use a gun and fly to save the world… 'Cause that's a load of grade-A crud.
I was born and raised in Texas with my grams being my main guardian for most of my life, my parents died ages ago but my big brother is a GI-Joe wannabe who still sends me My Little Pony birthday cards to piss me off. Bbbbuuuutt back to the old hag, she's my role model really, she's cynical, sarcastic and actually fires a shotgun at real estate agents… god I love that woman.
Janis Danvers, aka granny dearest is one of those spontaneous old people who refuse to listen to their creaking joints and try everything and anything, recently my grams has tried roller blading (broken fingers), quad biking (broken foot) and Skiing (concussion, but the guy she hit got short time memory loss)…. Basically she's asking to die or become a cripple. But her main act of the century is to go and live in Africa for two years… this of course leaves me having to go to my next potential guardian…
…yes my GI-Joe, army boy brother, Travis Danvers, who may be a major jerk-off but he's a twenty four year old jerk off who now has custody of my sorry ass…
So that is how I, Skyler Danvers, was dragged kicking and screaming to Nevada and also how life managed to change… drastically.
And all I can say is:
If you think nothing worse can happen you've obviously not noticed the giant robot of doom bearing down on you.
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"Skyler get OUT of the car right NOW!" screamed the stupid army dude that is my brother from outside the passenger door.
"No! You can't make me turn into a Barbie, GI-Joe I just don't bend that way!!" I yelped from my current position… grabbing onto the seat head while my brother tried to grab me out of his big ass truck.
"Enough of your sass and stop wrecking the interior of the army vehicle I BORROWED from my unit to pick your SORRY ASS up from the airport!" he all but screamed… yes my big bro is too manly tough-tough to scream like a six year old girl with bunches, he prefers the manly yell that is a six year old girl with bunches in denial.
"B-But I don't want to go into that creepy hanger thingy and meet all of your army friends! I bet you've paid them to gun me down and you can hide it and everything, just stuff my dead corpse away along with ET and the real moon landing video like the government always does!" I screeched and I heard Travis stifling a laugh, his face miraculously monotone as he grabbed my flailing legs and began to pull.
"Sky, you're ranting again and I promise you that my friends won't nuke you ok?" he said steadily and I peeked out from under my arm at him, eyes super wide as I looked over his forcibly serious face.
"Sorry but I need more persuasion before I move my ass anywhere" I said to him, my nails digging into the plush leather interior in warning.
"Retract your claws from the leather!!!!!! I'll have to pay for that if you pierce it!" he yelped, releasing my legs and holding his hands up in surrender… only a younger immature sister can bring a gun totting, buff and hard as steel brother into submission.
I have the power!!!!
"Ok… Sky… they have artillery in there… like machine guns…" he said innocently and my head shot up, eyes wide and a slow grin forming on my face.
"Really?" I asked and he nodded, in a flash I was out of the car, messenger bag looped over my shoulder and hoody secured around my waist.
"Well why didn't you say so? I thought they were going to force me to fight to the death in a ring of doom!" I said cheerfully, walking towards the hanger with a bounce in my step.
"…Sky, that's roman gladiators…"
"Same thing, just more modern!"
"You are never watching 300 and Gladiators again!"
"Come on Trav-Ass, for Spartan!!"
"…God help me…"
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Once inside I calmed down slightly, I was apprehensive about meeting army guys who could probably snap me in two... but I shall not fear! They can smell it you know.
"Ok Sky there are three rules, don't climb on top of machinery or vehicles, don't ask to use peoples weapons and don't randomly poke and prod people like you usually do, ok?" Travis said with a look of seriousness I had to laugh at.
"Anything else commander?" I said in a stupid fake nasally voice and he nodded,
"yea, don't wander off and cause trouble like you did at Disneyland" he said before walking towards a group of soldiers talking near a big ass truck, the type of truck that puts the truck we drove in to chick car status.
"Hey, that Mickey Mouse was so going to steal that kid, I was defending the weak!!" I complained, following after him like a good little puppy.
"Whatever… hey guys, this is that noisy little brat I was telling you about" he said to the two men closest and I frowned.
"Don't call me brat Trav-Ass" I growled at him and he grinned at me evilly, ignoring the two curious looks he got from the men he had addressed.
"Don't call me an ass, half pint "he said and I glared fiery pits of doom at him, oh yes he will feel the power of the souls he has tortured!!!!
…Ok I agree with him on one thing, I watch waaaaay to many movies…
"Ok proper intros then, Epps, Will, this is my baby sister Skyler who was dumped on me by my overly zealous grandmother, Sky this is Captain Will Lennox and Sergeant Robert Epps, a couple of old friends of mine" he said in a bored tone and I waved at the two army guys, my shit eating grin on as I took in the giant car.
"I can only say one thing… you own one hellva big ass truck" I said, earning an aspirated look from Travis, an amused look from Will and a snort of laughter from Epps.
"Sky..." Travis growled in warning and I rolled my green eyes to the heavens before rounding on him.
"What now!? All I did was comment on the big ass of that TopKick, it's not like I told them about that time when Grams found you in her closet with her high heels-Mrgh!" I was silenced by a large tan hand clapping over my mouth and an arm wrapping around my waist before I was lifted up and carried off.
"Ok, if you're going to splurge out childhood stories you get a time out!" Travis shouted, carting me away from where Will and Epps were chuckling and towards a group of tables covered in equipment, I struggled feebly but his stupid fat arm muscles were stronger than my wiggles and I gave up.
Finally he put me down, leaving his hand over my mouth to silence any smartass remarks and bent his head to glare his own green eyes into mine,
"Behave" he growled out and I glared right back, grinning under his hand and giving his palm a hearty lick.
"UUGHHH!" he yelled, ripping his hand away and wiping it furiously on his leg, I on the other hand was trying to hack up nasty Travis-germs.
"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew WHY didn't I just kick him in the crotch? No, my feeble ape brain HAD to go for the gross, infectious idea of LICKING his NASTY hand!!!" I shouted randomly, rubbing my tongue on my jumper sleeve while Travis continued to rub the skin off his hand and onto his combat trousers, muttering nasty curses under his breath.
I glanced over at the small group of soldiers watching our performance, chuckling and grinning at my brother's discomfort; I turned and bowed to them, a large smirk on my face,
"I am honour that my self sacrifice has not gone unnoticed and that you join me in mocking this ogre of men!" I said in a posh voice, I turned to Travis who looked murderously at me and pointed at him.
"HA. HA. HA. HA... Peasant!" I said, cackling evilly at his misfortune, oblivious to his growing anger.
"That's IT!" He shouted and I cowered as he stomped over, an evil grin on his face....
This wasn't going to end well.....
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I am currently trying to peel the demon ductape from my mouth while sitting peaceful on the armoured plated top of a tank.
My brother... sucks.
I mean it's super cool I managed to get Epps on my side with the whole 'Let the demented sister sit on a weapon of war if it shut her up from singing Christmas carols' thing but the ductape is ridiculous...
...and it hurts like HELL.
"Ow... owowowowowowowowowowowow....bitch" I whined, legs swinging from the suspended positions as picked at the tape from the tender skin of my upper lip... at least I don't have to worry about moustache hair now!
"Erm... excuse me are you ok?" asked a kind of English accented voice, it sounded young and when I turned around I was super surprised to see a teenager a couple of years older than me with sunny blonde hair and bright blue eyes, he wore jeans that were on the scruffy side and a random band T-shirt.
"Ya ma tupid bother did vis" I mumbled earning me a puzzled look from the teen after my garbled English.
"Won mo" I mumbled, screwing my eyes shut and ripping the tape off like a plaster.
"...OW!" I growled out before turning to the baffled blonde with a pained grin.
"Yo, what brings you to the top of my tank?" I asked, tossing the tape onto the dusty ground below me and I turned slightly to take the blonde in fully, smiling cheerfully at his nervous face.
"Don't look so nervous, I'm not one of those piranha fifteen year olds who eat people, your safe" I said and if possible he looked more nervous, I looked at him for a second and burst out laughing, startling him from the sounds of it as I ran fingers through my dirty blonde fringe.
"I was joking, my names Skyler Danvers, my brothers stationed here and I just got sent to stay with him so I'm making his life hell" I explained, smiling at the boy as he sat next to me, he was a couple of heads taller than me... damn.
"I'm... Bee, my family are also part of the military unit here" the blonde said, still looking uncomfortable around me so I sighed. I crossed my legs and swirled around on my butt to face him before I pointed right into his pretty boy face,
"No! Bad! Don't be shy around me, I'm normally insane like this so don't worry about it kay!?" I said, waving my arm around and nearly poking his eye out in the process...
...You know... this probably freaked him out alot more than before... damn...
Instead of freaking out and shoving me off the tank in fear like I predicted he chuckled a kind of posh old doctor laugh and pushed my hand aside, impossible blue eyes sparkling.
"Got it" he said and I grinned at him in a cheesy I'm-a-rainbow kinda way before rummaging around in my pocket and pulling out my IPod and holding out an earphone for him.
"Wanna listen to Disney?" I said and he shrugged before taking me up on my offer.
Yayness for Lion King!
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"-the world was new, the planet earth was down on its luck and giant brutes called titans ran amok!!!!"
I'd like to nationally declare that I have converted a perfectly normal boy into a manic Disney fan...
...Wuahahaha I. Have. The. POWER!
Just as The Gospel Truth II ended we both collapsed into hysterics of laughter, Bee had strange laugh that sounded airily high pitched yet nice... just feminine. I on the other hand... giggles, snorts and hiccups erupted from me as I teetered on the edge of the tank.
"Careful!" Bee gasped, noticing my precarious dangling and grabbed my arm to pull me back over to him so I collapsed on my back with a wheezy flop as my shoulders quivered slightly. Bee's blonde head entered my vision as she frowned at me while he hovered over me with a worried look,
"That was dangerous Skyler" he scolded and I smiled at him cheerily before someone shouted at me from across the hanger.
"Hey kid! You know how to play poker?" shouted Epps and I turned away from Bee to grin at him and his band of comrades near the tables, all sitting in a muddled circle with cards on the flat surface along with packs of cigarettes and dollar bills.
"I know enough to give you and your boyfriends a run from their money Epps!" I called back earning myself indignant yells from the man and his friends before I turned to ask Bee if he wanted to play to find him...
...gone...
Hmmm... oh well it seems he needed the toilet or something, his loss.
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"What the fu-"
SMACK! "NO SWEARING!"
"...Yes ma'am"
This is basically how the whole game of poker went on, I quickly realized that I rock at this game and now have a mini-hoard of won items along with a group of army boys as my bitches.
Life is good.
"Giving up yet Epps?" I asked with a cocky grin on my face while I pulled my newly won, red and white 'Got Beer?' hat on and shoved random lighters, dollar bills and coins in my jean pockets...
... The boys still had to win my stick of gum.
I received a glare from the man as he looked hard at the back of my cards then at his, I simply tried to stuff as many of my blonde curls into the hat as I could.
Epps sighed and lay his cards out while the rest of his comrades looked on with baited breath, I chewed my lip pretending to look nervous and they all turned into hopeful looks of triumph.
...Pity I had to dash their hopes.
"Royal Flush" I said, laying the cards out and grabbing the aviator sunglasses in the middle of the table as Epps all but bashed his brain out on the table.
"Well ladies" pointed look at Epps "gents" an overall look "I'm outta here, got brothers to torture, guns to ogle so toodles" I said before skipping off, probably looking like a prat with large aviator sunglasses and too large red and white hat stuffed on messy blonde hair.
I noticed Travis signing some papers in a lounge like area near the back of the hanger and I walked in whistling I-know-a-song-that-will-get-on-your-nerves. He turned to face me and grinned reluctantly at my newly won items,
"Beat them to death at poker?" he asked and I nodded, he knew exactly what it was like to lose to me in poker seeing that my grams did teach me.
"We going yet, I'm pretty tired" I mumbled, my overall high was crashed and Travis rolled his eyes before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and walking back towards the army vehicle that had my bags.
"Lets get outta here, I want to watch the game and you need sleep" he said and I swore I heard 'damn hyperactive kid' before I lulled off on the leather seat with the hum of car noises in my ears.
Sin: Soooooo, how wassss iittttttttttt, tell lil ol'me your thoughts and feelings to this chapter by caressing the lovely lilac button below!
....
That sounded like button rape....