Disclaimer: If I owned anything relating to Twilight, I'd be a very wealthy girl. Alas, no - my maxed out credit card is evidence that I have nothing to do with it.

A/N: There's no other way to say this: I'm a review whore. I get very sad when the review count is in the single figures. And since this is my first Twilight fic, I am in desperate need of validation right now. Was that obvious enough for you?

EPOV

I couldn't help myself. There was a strand of hair fluttering in front of my love's eye. It must have been hindering her already terrible human eyesight. I carefully brushed it away, tucking it securely behind her ear. I breathed softly on her ear, causing goosebumps to form on her neck.

She took a deep breath, and I couldn't help but grin at her annoyed voice demanding the gift from Alice. I glared as Emmett took great pleasure in her discomfort. Come on man. Lighten up. She's... amusing. He smirked at me shortly before I diverted my attention back to Bella. She turned her face to me, rolling her eyes as Alice passed her the parcel. The last person in my family to open a birthday present was Emmett. He was typical Emmett, ripping into the paper like it was prey, not bothered with simple things like savouring the moment. Bella was nothing like that. She slowly slipped her forefinger under the join in the paper, her movements perfect. I ensured my hand was firmly on the small of her back, silently thanking her through my touch for humouring my family.

It all happened like slow motion. I swear I could hear the sound of the paper slicing through her finger. Almost instantly, the smell of her blood saturated the room, and I tensed. I didn't have time to notice her abashed apology at her clumsiness. I didn't have time to worry about the effect her spilt blood, even in such a small volume, would do for my self control. All my attention was focused on the tenor of Jasper's thoughts. The Jasper that we knew and loved was gone. His mind was filled with one thing, and one thing only -- bloodlust. The monster had been released, and it was already attacking.

"No!" I roared, and launched myself at him. He was too fast. Instead of hitting him head-on, I grabbed his shoulder, my jaw clamping down automatically. The little voice at the back of my mind instantly regretted the move, horrified that Bella had seen me in full vampire mode. The voice made me hesitate for a split second, and that was all it took. By the time I spit the chunk of flesh out, he had escaped my grasp. I turned to tackle him, and collided with Emmett, who was attempting the same thing. We each managed to grab a leg, but his teeth had already sunk into her beautiful, delicate neck. The momentum of his attack sent them both to the floor, her head hitting the table on the way down.

Bella's terrified scream echoed through the house, sending another wave of panic through me. Adrenaline surged, and between Carlisle, Emmett and myself, we managed to wrench him off her. Carlisle and Emmett tried valiantly to restrain my brother, allowing me to fall to my knees beside her. Jasper was being taken out of the house, and far into the forest, away from the scent of blood. Alice stood, torn, unable to decide whether to follow her husband, or stay and attend to her best friend. Rosalie and Esme clung to each other in the corner, trying not to breathe, and quavering at the situation. I didn't notice any of it, however. All my attention was on Bella. ... My Bella... My dead heart ached at the sight of her. Jaspers' frantic attack, and our violence to pull him off, had left her neck ripped open, gushing blood. I could see muscle, and part of her jawbone. It was horrifying.

Carlisle sprinted back through the door, yelling. "Alice, go help Jasper. Esme, Rosalie, I need towels, and my bag - quickly!" He knelt next to me, and looked at Bella's open wounds.

She was still screaming, and crying, and clutching at the air. I grasped one of her hands in mine. "Help her, please," I sobbed tearlessly.

Oh God, Carlisle thought. Surely she can't survive this.

"Don't say that," I growled. "You have to fix her." Bella gasped and writhed in front of me, her features screwed up in torture.

"Edward, I don't think I can." A growl erupted from my chest, and he tried to reason with me. "She's lost too much blood. It's too risky. The venom is our best chance of healing her."

"Noooo!" I gripped her hand harder, possibly too hard for her fragile skin.

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and fought the urge to knock it away. "Edward, darling. It's the best way," Esme's soothing voice insisted.

Bella's voice weakened from the incessant screaming. "Edward," she choked, cringing against the pain, "I love you." Her eyelids fluttered closed, and her body thrashed violently.

I collapsed against her heaving chest, holding her tight, and listening to her fading heartbeat. It was weak. Carlisle was right - she HAD lost too much blood. The gravity of her injuries sunk in. I couldn't live without her, and without the venom, her chances of staying with me were minuscule. Without lifting my head, I let out a shuddering breath. "Let it happen," I conceded. In my periphery, I saw my parents exhale, relieved, and Carlisle nodded slowly.

I blocked everything out bar my love. Her scent was already changed infinitesimally by the addition of my brother's venom. Her underlying tone was still lilac and freesias, and the strawberry of her shampoo, but all I could focus on was the differences - the unmistakable tang of... vampire. I sighed, and gripped her tighter, holding her still as the pain ripped through her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I love you. You are my whole world. I wish more than anything I could feel the pain instead of you." I dry sobbed. "I'm so sorry." I moaned as her weak heart missed a beat, stuttered, and then came back strong and even, strengthened by the venom that had now entered her heart. It was the beginning of the end for her humanity. I slowly sat up and looked around the room. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett watched me with varying degrees of sympathy on their faces and in their minds. I could hear the thoughts of Jasper and Alice outside on the very edge of my range - Jasper's self-loathing, and Alice's love and concern.

Has it made it to her heart? Carlisle thought, his eyebrows raised. I stared at the floor, and nodded slowly. I could see my pained expression in each of their thoughts.

Carlisle approached us slowly. "Can I fix her up? Clean and bandage her wounds? It'll make it easier for all of us to be near her. Including you." I gazed longingly at her, caressing her perfect facial features with long strokes. My hand travelled slowly down to the gaping wound in her neck, shuddering when I touched blood. I nodded at him regretfully. Bella cried out as I dropped our contact, and moved to her other side to give Carlisle room to work. I settled myself quickly, this time caressing her right hand. She calmed slightly at my touch. I moved her hair away from her face, and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Carlisle worked quickly, and had her bandaged within a few minutes. As he left to burn the bloodied cloths and swabs, he instructed me to take her upstairs.

"You can put her in our bedroom if you like," Esme offered. "She'll be more comfortable on a bed than on your couch."

I considered the options. I didn't want her to wake up in a strange place. I wanted her in my room, where things were familiar. My conflicted expression must have given my thoughts away.

My mother was instantly at my shoulder, rubbing Bella's arm with one hand, and wrapping the other around my shoulders. "Take her there for now," she suggested. "In the morning, the boys can go out and buy you a new bed." I looked at her gratefully before pulling Bella into my arms and carrying her up to my parents' room.

I curled up against her body, shirtless, trying to press as much of my body against hers as possible. I hoped that the coolness would help ease the burning she was enduring. It was one of the most painful things of my existence to watch, but it was nothing compared to the pain she must be suffering. She was being so brave. She was only screaming periodically, and whimpering and moaning the rest of the time. I compared this to Rosalie's change, who had screamed bloody murder for three days straight. Emmett had reminded me that when he was changing, the sound of Rosalie talking to him had eased the burning somewhat -- distracted him from the pain. I would do anything to make this easier for my Bella, so I would talk non-stop for the next three days if it would help her.

I sighed, stroked her cheek, and began. "Bella, love? Can you hear me?" She just groaned louder. "I guess you know what's happening. Jasper bit you. You know that. You felt that. I am so sorry I couldn't stop him in time. I don't know. I wish that this could have been fixed like after James. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart. You don't deserve this. You deserve to have a normal happy life. To marry someone you can grow old with, to have children. To have your parents watch you graduate high school. Because of me, none of that will happen. If I had been selfless enough to leave you alone in the first place, you wouldn't be damned to this life."

I heard Rosalie outside the door. She cleared her throat. "You don't want to make her feel worse, do you? Tell her happy things. Tell her what it will be like when she wakes." Shock flooded me that Rosalie, who had never taken an interest in Bella, would be offering advice on how to ease her suffering. But, I had to admit, she was probably right. This wasn't a confession booth. I needed to tell her things that would make her happy.

"I will never leave you again, Bella. If you'll let me, I'll keep you in my arms for the rest of eternity. I can't wait for you to wake up, to no longer be in pain, and to be able to kiss you again. To kiss you like equals."

Rosalie started back down the stairs. That's better, she thought.