PJO FANMAIL

Hey guys! I like this whole fanmail idea, so I decided to make one. It helps clear my head from Noah Cyrus and Frankie Jonas singing "Ponyo, Ponyo, Ponyo, she lives in the sea. She's a little girl with a round tummy." I am so sick of that! The host is based on me, a daughter of Kronos named Hailia.

Disclaimer: I do not own PJO, anyone's reviews, and PJO characters, or Kronos. I do own Hailia, the demigod with the celestial bronze sword, the lie detector, and a few other things.

"I'm Hailia, and this, is PJO FANMAIL." The host said as a awesome theme song played, and a huge screen showed pictures of the characters.

"We welcome our contestants! Percy!" everyone cheered for Percy, "Annabeth!" people cheered again, "Thalia!" even more people cheered, "Luke!" several thuds were herd as people died of fright, "Grover!" a few people cheered, but Grover doesn't have the most fans, does he? "Nico!" The whole crowd cheered, and some people's eardrums broke, because almost everyone likes Nico. "And…. Rachel!" the audience booed, because who likes Rachel?

"Even if you don't like them, can you pretend to, we don't want anyone feeling bad." Hailia said as she looked at Rachel, who was calmly reading a People magazine, and crying. "Well, first we have Percy. Why is there a… Oh, I get it! Percy, for this one you won't need the lie detector. How do you spell PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS? It's the longest word in the English dictionary, forty-five letters long."

"How am I supposed to do that? I have dyslexia you know… Wait, how did you read it?" Percy asked.

"I don't have dyslexia; I don't think daughters of Kronos have it. You aren't reading it, you're spelling it." Hailia answered.

"Skip question. What's next?"

"Bring out the Lie Detector." Hailia said, the demigod with the celestial bronze sword wheeled out a leather recliner. "Percy, if you could sit down on this, we'll be all ready."

"Okay…" he said uncertainly as he sat down. Adamant bands slammed over his wrists, ankles, and waist, anchoring him into the chair. A helmet slammed onto his head, and a computer screen popped up.

"Now, you need to tell Annabeth about Calypso, and if you lie, you'll be punished." Hailia told him as she stroked her half-celestial bronze, half-steel scythe.

"Okay. Annabeth, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yeah?"

"Well, Hera drove me to Calypso's Island…" Percy started.

"Stupid cows." Annabeth said.

"I stayed there. I came back, though, because I kept thinking about Mt. St. Helens." The lie detector flashed 'truth.'

"What happened?" Luke asked, doing puppy dog eyes.

"Nothing…" said Percy and Annabeth guiltily.

"Luke, you are twenty-two! You can't do 'cute' anymore. It just looks wrong." Thalia half yelled at him.

"They kissed on Mt. St. Helens!" Hailia said, pulling out the Battle of the Labyrinth, "It's all in this book. How Pan dies, Luke turns into Kronos, and Annabeth kisses Percy. Read it today! Comes after The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, and the Titans Curse, and comes before The Last Olympian. Now to ask Luke, who is the awesomest person ever, some questions."

"Hey, everybody!" Luke said, waving. Luke's fans screamed and cheered and Luke haters threw tomatoes at him. Luke pulled out Backbiter, and deflected each one.

"Luke, please sit down in this lie detector, or my daddy will kill you! Actually, I'll do it myself!" Hailia threatened.

"I guess I better do it then." Luke laughed nervously, "But your dad's not alive anymore."

"Says the traitor. Do you want me to Iris Message him?"

"I'm fine. So, what questions do you have for me?" he said, sitting down in the lie detector.

"How did you feel when you joined the titans?"

"I felt angry, resentful, and unloved. I wanted to be treated better by the father who had left me with and insane psychopath. I met him, and he told me of my fate, I realized it was something against the gods. Kronos used my anger to turn me against them, but now I feel sorry for what I did. Maybe if I hadn't been influenced by myself this wouldn't have happened. Or maybe if Thalia hadn't turned into a tree." Luke said.

Nico yawned, Grover started to snore, Percy created a bubble of water and shaped it into Annabeth's face, Rachel read her People magazine, and Annabeth and Thalia listened in wide eyed rapture.

"I meant, were you happy you got such a great opportunity to join my dad!?!" Hailia yelled.

"Sure, if that's what you want…?"

"You have to do everything for the Princess of Othrys!" she said happily. "Next question, do you like Thaila?"

"Nope!" Luke said, he was immediately swung forward, Hailia's scythe against his neck. The screen flashed 'lie!'

"If you lie, you'll be punished…" Hailia pushed her scythe a bit closer to his neck.

"Fine! Let's get over with this! I like her!" the computer screen flashed 'truth!' Hailia gave his some Ambrosia and Nectar for his bleeding neck.

"One more question. What did you see that anchored you to your mortal point when you where in the Styx?"

"Annabeth and Thalia." The screen flashed 'truth!' The adamant bonds receded, and Luke got up.

"Moving on to Nico," Nico's fan girls screamed and clapped, and the audience applauded loudly.

"Hi!" Nico said, smiling at the crowd, a fan girl fainted. "That was awkward. So, what questions do you have for me?"

"Well Nico, you are our first contestant to get fan mail!" everyone cheered.

A holographic image of Sunny di Angelo4758 appeared. "OMG,its so funny,can I ask nico a question.
OMZ you are so awesome!Will you go out with me,cause I am completly in love with yuo,Im a daughter od Apollo!PLEASE?I love you!
Thnxs
Sunny"

"Weird. Well, I think that children of Apollo are a little too happy. Sorry. It's totally awesome that I'm the first to get fanmail." Nico said.

"Thanks for thinking this is funny. Hopefully people will like the new improved chapter." Hailia added. "You spelled a lot of words wrong…"

"You have an increasingly strained relationship with Persephone, after she has turned you into a dandelion several times. Since she is your dad's wife, you see her all the time, what do you usually do?" Hailia asked.

"I try to keep away from her, and be polite at most times. I kind of try to go see Dad when she isn't there." Nico answered.

"Now, people at camp are saying you have a cool sword. Where did you get it?"

"My dad gave it to me. It's made of Stygian iron. Its iron made from materials in the River Styx, tempered in the River Phlegethon, and cooled in the River Cocytus. I think."

"So, a child of… Athena or someone couldn't have one, only a child of Hades?"

"That's right. So, some Empousa on the stage crew told me that I knew the special guest." Nico answered

"You do, we welcome the one, the only, Maria di Angelo!" Hailia announced as Maria walked out.

"MOMMY!" Nico screamed, and jumped on her. The audience, contestants, and Hailia practically laughed their heads off.

"Nico, can you get off me, you've gotten heavier in seventy-six years." Maria grunted.

"Ummm… Duh!" Nico told her.

"So Maria, how did it feel to die? Since we haven't ever died, we would like to know." Hailia asked.

"Well, I died being crushed by tons of hotel. In Elysium, I can still see Hades, and Bianca." Maria answered.

"I never see you, or Bianca. I bet you've never been turned into a dandelion!" Nico complained.

"Well, I have to go now." Maria said, as she shimmered and disappeared.

"MOMMY!" Nico whined.

"Sorry Nico, but we have to move on to Grover now."

Grover stepped up, "Hi to all you nature lovers out there! We have to keep the environment clean! We need to avenge the death of Pan!" he encouraged.

"So Grover, Percy called you brave, and stupid, at the same time. How does that make you feel? By the way, I did NOT make up these questions!" Hailia asked, she totally sounded like one of those depression therapy people, until the last part.

"Why did he?" Grover asked, because it totally depends.

"You tried to protect me from a certain evil person inhabiting Luke's body." Percy said, glaring at Luke.

"Don't you dare talk about my dad like that! Dad's not evil; he just has a vision of a better future!" Hailia said, in an annoyed tone of voice.

"It makes me feel nice that I know I didn't try that just to get hit and go flying backwards for nothing." Grover sounded relived.

"Now for the question we've all been waiting for… Hey, demigod dude, will you cue the trumpets?" Hailia said. Trumpets played that Duh, duh, duh, duhhh, song that people play when they're introducing something. "What…. Do tin cans taste like?!?"

"Have you ever licked the can when you're drinking soda? If you have, then you know what it tastes like." Grover answered to the amazingly, marvelous, fabulongoshoomarvelishlywonderpipical question.

"Oh, wow." Hailia said sarcastically. "Now moving on to Rachel."

"Can anyone who supports me or Perachel please raise their hand?" Rachel asked. No one raised their hand, and a few crickets chirped.

"Can we get a prophecy?" Hailia asked.

"I am the spirit of Delphi, speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the mighty Python. Approach, seeker, and ask..." Rachel spoke in the oracles raspy voice, green smoke pouring out of her mouth.

"Will the contestants get fanmail?"

"Seven contestants and one host,

Will wait and wait for people to post---"

"I heard Luke was here. Can I talk to him?" Hermes said.

"We were listening to a Prophecy!" Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, Luke, Grover, Nico, and Hailia yelled.

"Demigod dude! What did I tell you about keeping away unwanted visitors?" Hailia scolded the demigod with the celestial bronze sword.

"You told Hecate to do that. Do you want your Diet Coke, now?" he answered.

"Sure." As he handed he a Diet Coke from the fridge, she yelled, "Hecate!"

"Yes? Sorry about the barrier. I was fixing up the weak spot when Hermes just barged right through it." Hecate apologized, before Hailia could say anything.

"Just make sure that doesn't happen again." Hailia told her as she waved her away.

"You can't talk to me! You stink like cheese!" Luke yelled at Hermes.

"Cheese is good!" Grover argued.

"Fine! You stink like rotten tomatoes!"Luke corrected.

"Dude, you just jinxed yourself." Percy said, as tomatoes went flying towards Luke. Luke quickly pulled out Backbiter and deflected the tomatoes. Then Hermes grabbed him and dragged him out.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Luke cried as he was dragged away. Green smoke poured from Rachel's mouth.

"Contestants and Host, stand before you,

Waiting and waiting for people to review---"

"Grover, I found the demigod and took her to camp." A random satyr said, sticking his head in the door.

"We were listening to a Prophecy!" Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, Grover, Nico, and Hailia yelled.

"She's a daughter of Aphrodite." The satyr added.

"Good, we need her for chapter three. Molly Moon, Micky Minus, and the Mind Machine." Hailia told him.

When the satyr had left Percy said, "I'm scared."

"You should be. Now, Annabeth, could you come up here." Hailia asked politely.

"Hi!" Annabeth said as the audience cheered.

"Okay, if you don't want to answer this question, it's perfectly fine. Where is Percy's mortal point?" Hailia asked.

"I can't tell you. I don't want crazy psychos to kill him. We will always be the only two people who know where it is. Unless you have Nico raise Ethan Nakamura, because he knows." Annabeth answered.

"Percy is that why he kept looking at your…" he trailed off as duct tape was slapped on his mouth.

"So I want to know some stuff about Hoover Dam---"

"Seven hundred feet tall, built in the 1930's, five million cubic acres of water, largest construction project in the U.S." Annabeth, Thalia, Percy, and Grover all said at the same time.

"Wow. Okay, Thalia, you're last." A random Luke fan girl threw a pie at Thalia, who dodged it. It landed on Grover, who started to eat the pie tin, along with the pie.

"How's life as a huntress?" Hailia asked.

"It's great! I get to kill monsters, and I don't ever have to think about Luke. Other than the fact that we almost die a lot, it's really cool!" Thalia answered her. Hailia shoved Thalia into the lie detector.

"Do you like Luke?" Hailia asked in a sly, curious voice.

"Not at all." Thalia looked smug, until she was dumped into a tank full of sharks.

"Don't worry, they're harmless. I think." Hailia unconvincingly reassured her.

"Fine! I like him. I'm just glad he isn't here to hear this." Thalia screamed. The computer screen flashed 'truth.'

"Oh, all of this is caught on camera. He might end up watching it eventually. I don't know. It's on Hephaestus TV."

"Artemis, if you are watching this, I need to talk to you about this awkward scene." Thalia said to the camera. The lie detector opened up, and she got off of it.

"Anyway…" Hailia said, looking at her watch.

"Contestants and host, you're looking at them,

Are waiting and waiting for people to PM"

"Time's up!" Hailia shouted.

"PLEASE REVIEW! And see you next time, on PJO FANMAIL!" Everyone shouted.

"Will they review?

You'll never know,

Unless you do it,

After this show."

So, here's the improved edition. It's about 700 words longer. Next time, we have my sister and Kronos as the special guests. My sis is Caylie Daughter of Hermes, and you can send fanmail to Kronos. My sister is Reilly, the psychopath in Two Worlds Collide, one of my stories, a PJO fan fic. Review or else I'll slice you to pieces with my scythe!