A/N: I must admit this one ended up even more twisted than I first intended to do it xD It was a real challenge and I truly hope at least some of you will be interested in seeing how I managed to pull trough with it. It was re3quested by Patriciasdreams. I planned to make it into a songfic, but I felt like I would have to separate it in parts to add the lyrics, so I decided against it in the end. Still, if you want to grasp the atmosphere better, find the song This Moment by Disturbed and you'll see what I mean xD I played only that one while I was writing this xD

This Moment

Cold. Dead. Gone.

He had killed them, Yoh knew. He had seen the bodies, smelt the blood, felt the cold. He had witnessed their last moments, heard their last words.

And now they were gone. One after another, they had disappeared, mercilessly torn from his grasp and sent to a world where he couldn't reach.

Because Hao killed them.

And now, as he stood there before the corpse of his last dear friend, he felt something painfully tug on his heart. He felt lost, deserted, alone, empty. Like an old house where a family had been murdered, leaving only the building standing and the ghosts haunting it.

The memories were the ghosts, so vivid and lively, so true and real. Smiling faces, laugher, happiness. Strong bonds, companionship, friendship.

A golden eyes glare from Ren. A passive look bracing Anna's face. A smart remark thrown in by Manta. An outburst by HoroHoro. A stupid joke made by Chokolove. A crazy proposal coming from Ryu.

So real, so perfect, so unbelievably his.

And now so, so lost.

He remembered every single death, every single time one of them had been taken away.

Ryu died in a car crash. Hao had almost sounded sympathetic about it, but there was that look in his eyes. He had known. Of course he had, he had arranged it, after all.

Chokolove had been shot. A one-hit-kill going straight trough his brain, murdering him on the spot. His brother hadn't pretended at that time. 'What a sad joke he was.' Those words would forever haunt Yoh's mind.

HoroHoro had been frozen to death – rendered unconscious and locked in a freezer. Those glassy opened eyes still entered his deadliest nightmares, blaming, unforgiving.

Manta had been poisoned. He would never forget those last few hours he stood above him as his friend was passing away. Slowly, painfully, being forcefully taken there, leaving him behind. Hao had stood there, too. He had said he never liked the brat.

Anna had been burned alive in front of his eyes. Yoh never dared getting anywhere near a fire from that time on. The mind numbing screams that had shaken his very being would never go away.

And now here he stood, in the dojo, staring at the last corpse, at what used to be his last friend. Ren. Drenched in blood, his chest slashed open and an arm torn from his body, lying to the side.

Cold. Dead. Gone.

Yoh felt something inside of him break. His eyes fell to the floor, form trembling, knees almost giving up on him.

Hao had never once listened to him. Never once acknowledged his pleads and begging, never once heard his prayers not to hurt them.

"He was insignificant," that tempting, melodic voice sounded behind him – calm, unfazed from all that had happened.

Something burned into the younger twin and he suddenly spun, smashing his fist into the other's cheek. Hao hadn't been prepared for that, but how could he? Yoh would never even raise his voice at him, not to mention hit him.

He had been the perfect, most kind, forgiving and sincere brother he could ever be. And yet the older twin had gone and torn him apart, breaking him and placing him back in that wrong, twisted way that was not himself.

He jumped atop the one who had landed on the floor, pinning both of his wrists above his head. Onyx eyes burned into his own almost like staring down into his very soul, judging the damage.

"You killed them!" Tears leaked from those eyes, falling onto the identical face of his twin. "You killed all of them! You took them away!" He was screaming, eyes wide with evidence of clear insanity within them.

And who would be able to go trough that and still keep his mind, anyway?

"They were in the way," answered the other one without as much as blinking. So deadly calm and uncaring. "and on your mind."

"You monster!" He clenched his fist, his mind raging with unspoken anger and fury. "You murderer!"

"Hurt me, Yoh," he said with a twisted smile on his face. "Punish me for killing them. But don't forget," he reached up so that his lips almost brushed his brother's ear, breathing the next words in it. "I am all you have left now."

All restrains were forgotten at that moment, as the younger twin crashed their lips together, pushing the other into the ground, squeezing his wrists so hard that he knew he'd leave bruises. Despite of the ferocious, violent kiss, the one beneath him smirked against his lips.

Even now, he could get what he wanted. Even if this was the only way – to break him, to truly damage his sanity and mind, it was worth it, Hao reasoned. For now, finally, he was going to get what he desired from the very beginning and no stupid morals were going to get in his or Yoh's way.

Yoh bit hard on his lower lip, until the salty taste of blood flooded both of their senses, twisting the reality ever farther. His tongue fought against his brother's a vicious, enraged battle, and he knew that Hao allowed him to win, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered any more.

He didn't know why he was doing this. Even as his mouth traveled lower, biting and nibbling at the perfect skin on the other's neck, he didn't know why. It was as if some restrain had been taken away and everything was suddenly flowing out of him, all of that anger and desire, wrath and lust.

A deadly combination, indeed.

A soft grunt escaped from the older boy as the other sank his teeth rather harshly into his collarbone, licking at the marks he had left, still pinning the other down. Every little action, every single move of the other, body pushed against his was something Hao knew he would never forget.

Yoh's hands released his own suddenly and his nails ran down his chest, scratching just barely not drawing blood, leaving dark red lines on his torso. By that time he had lost track of what had happened to his poncho, he just knew it was gone and the other was using that to his advantage.

His own hands traveled up to practically tear his brother's white shirt off his back and then roam all of the exposed skin, so flawless and soft. He gasped when the other bit down on his nipple a little harsher than needed, the pain bringing a sick pleasurable sensation with itself.

He could feel his pants getting uncomfortably tight, but it didn't look as if Yoh was paying any attention at that as he left bite marks all over his upper body, sucking and licking. His teasing was sweet torture and he had to admit he hadn't thought the other would go that far.

He had only hoped.

And his hopes were answered when his brother finally decided it was time to get it done, pulling his pants off and disposing of them somewhere in the big room, throwing his own with them.

Pain shot trough Hao's entire body as the other entered him forcefully, fingers holding his hips firmly. His nails dug deep into his twin's back, cutting the skin mercilessly, blood flowing free from the wounds.

He knew, though, that Yoh couldn't tell the moment when his grunts and gasps had turned to moans with the pain slowly merging into unbelievable pleasure. Soon the trusts were no longer tearing him in two and he started meeting them with his own movements. Black orbs bore into the other's face, the younger's eyes clenched and raged breaths coming trough firmly set teeth.

Yoh's hold on his hips tightened as he fastened the pace, quickly bringing them both over the edge and as they released with a pleasured cry, he simply stood like that, eyes held closed and tears leaking from under his lashes.

It was only when one of them landed on Hao's cheek that he finally looked up, observing the face twisted in pain and sorrow. The younger brother shook with unsuppressed sobs as his hands gave up and he crashed on top of his chest, broken, crying, trembling.

Yoh cuddled up into a ball, feeling the other's hands pull him into a tight embrace. Hao didn't say a single word as he left him cry, running a hand trough his hair.

There was nothing to be said, after all. His actions had spoken more than any words could ever say.

With all of them gone now, Yoh belonged to him. And now, after all of this time, he belonged to Yoh, too. A twisted smile found its place on his lips.

Everyone could say whatever they wanted. That this was wrong, that it was a big mistake, that is would never work out.

But he didn't care. He loved his brother in more ways than one and if he had to break him to make him realize he did as well, than it had been worth it.

Because in this moment, sanity didn't mean a thing to him.