When it's only Monday and McGee's phone just transformed into an alien robot, you know the rest of the week is just gonna suck. Tuesday's arrival of the killer blonde with the really long tongue and the crush on DiNozzo doesn't bode well either.

Written for the Threat and Movie Madness challenges

NCIS, Transformed

"Is that a new, what do you call it, a new app you are downloading?" Ziva perched on the corner of McGee's desk watching as he disconnected his new phone from his computer.

"Yeah, I'm done with it though." He looked around to see if Gibbs was around.

"Done with it for now, you mean McTech. How many apps have you put on that fancy phone of yours? You're like a kid with a new toy with that thing. Oh, wait, it is your new toy." Tony cackled as McGee blushed and shoved the phone into his pocket.

Ziva was more interested in the technology than she was willing to admit, so she resorted to teasing. "What does this one do? Does it keep track of the women in your life?"

"No." McGee turned even redder. Knowing he wasn't going to be left alone until he answered her question he pulled the phone back out of his pocket and opened up the new program he had just installed. "This is the OmniFocus. It detects my location using either Wi-Fi or GPS and creates lists from the tasks I've uploaded into my calendar in the most convenient order."

Tony just rolled his eyes and went back to the free cell game he had running on his computer, while Ziva was intrigued. "Are there many of these apps? If I decide to get myself one of these phones could you show me which apps are the most useful?"

"There's thousands of apps out there, Ziva, but yeah I can get you started." He ducked his head down as Gibbs walked into the squad room.

"Gear up, people." He tossed the keys to McGee. "Do you have an app that will gas the truck?"

"Well, actually there is one that…"

"McGee!!"

"Gassing the truck, Boss."

Deferring to Gibbs' apparent bad mood, no one asked for details until they were well away from the Navy Yard. Tony never missed an opportunity to remind the rest of the team that he was the senior agent; unfortunately it had its down side, like now. "So, Boss, what's the case?"

"Some damn pencil pusher with too much time on his hands." DiNozzo winced as he glanced over at Ziva and through the small window at McGee. Whatever was going on, it was going to be a long day.

---NCIS---

"Let me get this right, Major Lowe. You want us to investigate Staff Sergeant Shaffer because you don't like the way he doodles?" Gibbs stood in the stuffy office, glaring at the man that had called them out. A three hour drive for some doodles did not impress him. Behind him DiNozzo and David also exchanged looks. The only one not annoyed at the apparent wasted trip was McGee who was currently in the doorway to the outer office, looking at the papers scattered over the desk there. Unlike the random scribbles he expected, Shaffer had drawn the same symbol over and over. The man in question seemed unaware of his surroundings, his knee bouncing to a rhythm only in his own head.

McGee stepped closer to the Staff Sergeant, but before he could say anything, the other man attacked him. Tim turned and tried to brace himself, but Shaffer had at least fifty pounds on him added to his momentum and they both went down hard. Shaffer kicked the door between the two offices closed as he rolled on top of McGee. The two men rolled on the floor, both trying to gain the upper hand as Shaffer grabbed Tim around the throat. Tim used both fists to punch Shaffer in the face, causing him to loosen his grasp on Tim's neck. Shaffer responded by flipping them both over, against the door, blocking it.

Still annoyed at the pre-coffee call, Gibbs mentally dismissed the complaint and prepared to finish up and leave. Out of the corner of his eye he watched McGee move closer to the rogue doodler the Major was so worried about. Before his gut could catch up with what he was seeing, Shaffer dove at McGee. The three agents converged on the door, but it was slammed shut before they reached it. Tony pulled his gun and tried to shoulder the door open, but it was now blocked. Gibbs and DiNozzo worked together, trying to force the door open while Ziva changed directions and climbed out the window to race around the building.

On the other side of the door, McGee was momentarily stunned by a head butt. Shaffer almost had enough time to pull McGee's gun before he recovered. With one hand wedging his SIG Sauer into his holster, McGee's options were limited. He pulled one leg up and raked his shoe down Shaffer's shin. This broke off the attack for a brief few seconds, allowing McGee to roll them away from the door, not noticing Shaffer reach into McGee's jacket pocket. At the same time, a hard shove from the other side of the door helped propel them across the floor and allowed the other two agents to come to his aid. Ziva burst through the outer door at the same time, gun drawn. She stood, gun at the ready as Gibbs and DiNozzo each grabbed an arm and pulled Shaffer off McGee. It was all the two men could do to hang onto him, bringing his wrists together to be handcuffed was impossible as he continued to struggle and scream.

"They're going to want you. I'm not good enough, they're going to want you." Shaffer managed to throw DiNozzo off of him and lunge at McGee again, dragging Gibbs with him. Now with the space to move, McGee drew back his fist and delivered a hard blow to Shaffer's face. The enraged man staggered back and this time Gibbs wasted no time in throwing him down and rolling him onto his stomach. By now Ziva had pulled Tony back up onto his feet and the two of them assisted Gibbs in handcuffing Shaffer. Even handcuffed, the man continued to kick and scream, no longer making any kind of sense.

"McGee, are you all right?" Gibbs stumbled to his feet, then bent over, trying to catch his breath. Also gasping for air, McGee nodded before attempting to rise. Gibbs grabbed him, hauling him the rest of the way up while the other two continued to hang onto their new prisoner. The Major was standing in the door, dumbfounded. Once McGee had his feet under him, Gibbs let go and swung around. "You didn't mention that he was violent."

Lowe stared at them. "He isn't, or at least he wasn't. He would just sit and stare out the window and doodle that same weird shape over and over." Four armed MP's arrived, cutting off anything else Major Lowe might have said.

DiNozzo shoved the cuffed man towards the MP's. "So nice of you boys to finally show up." One of the men started to apologize but then Shaffer's eyes rolled back and he began to choke. Before they could get him on the ground, he was in a full seizure. The base medic arrived much quicker than the MP's had, but even then there was nothing he could do. Doodling on government property had been upgraded to assault on a federal officer and now it was upgraded to suspicious death, causes unknown. To top it off, Gibbs still did not have any coffee and now it looked like he was not getting any in the foreseeable future.

"Great, just great, how big of a drug problem do you have on this base, Major Lowe?"

Gibbs' question seemed to catch the officer off guard. "You think he was high on something?"

"Unless you've got a better idea," Gibbs stared at him, willing him to offer up some explanation for the morning's events. When none were given, he started barking out demands. "I want to see everything Shaffer was working on starting six weeks before he started acting strange. Get his friends and roommates in here now, and Ziva, call Ducky and…"

The Israeli woman hung up her phone and interrupted him. "Ducky will be here in an hour." When she saw the questions on the faces of her teammates, she smiled and explained. "He's not at headquarters, he's giving a lecture at a college nearby. Palmer will have him on the road as soon as the lecture is over."

"Good." Gibbs was pleased at that one piece of news. The last thing he wanted to do was to wait three hours for the coroner's van to arrive. In the meantime, he moved his team to a nearby vacant office to conduct interviews, leaving the MP's with the body.

---NCIS---

"I'm sorry, Agent Gibbs, I don't know what else I can tell you." Shaffer's roommate shook his head as he continued to apologize. "We weren't all that close, and then he got really strange about a month ago; I'm sorry."

"Strange how?" Gibbs inquired, trying hard not to stare at the cup of coffee in the witness's hand. Rule 43, never take food offered at a crime scene, was in serious jeopardy.

"He kept going back out to that field. He just couldn't stay away; he'd sneak out there almost every night with a flashlight like he was looking for something."

"Or someone?"

"Maybe. I don't know. Like I said, we weren't all that close."

Gibbs moved over to the wall covered with a large map of the base and surrounding area. "Show me which field he was interested in." Once it had been identified he tossed the keys to DiNozzo. "Take McGee with you and see what you can find out there."

"On it, Boss." DiNozzo caught the keys and strode for the door, passing Ziva on the way. "Probie and I are out of here, guess you're stuck with a caffeine deprived Gibbs, Ziva."

"Not for long." She pointed to the Medical Examiner's van entering the main gate. "I had Ducky stop in town for coffee." McGee came up behind them, grinning.

"Is somebody trying to be the new favorite while Abby is at the forensics convention? She'll be back tomorrow." Ziva just smirked at both of them as she moved out of their way.

---NCIS---

DiNozzo set the kit down on the ground and wiped his face with his sleeve. They had been searching the field for over two hours and had discovered nothing but rocks and dirt. He looked over at McGee who was stumbling towards him, looking pale and drawn. Tony felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn't suggested Ducky look the kid over after his fight with Shaffer. McGee was limping slightly and slight bruises were visible on his neck. "McGee, take a break for a few minutes and get some water." There was no response and McGee continued to walk, angling slightly away from Tony. "Hey, you okay?" He picked his kit back up and moved to intercept his partner. McGee shook him off and kept walking, staring at the ground.

"It's close, I can tell."

"What's close, McGee?"

"Can't you feel it, Tony? It's right around here."

Remembering Shaffer and what happened to him, DiNozzo started to worry. He reached for McGee but before his fingers brushed his coat, the other man dropped to his knees and started moving a pile of rocks out of his way. "He was right, it is here." McGee cried out and dropped a rock, clutching his hand. Tony tried again to grab at him, but McGee again shook him off. "Get me an evidence jar." Automatically, DiNozzo pulled one out of the kit and handed it over. He watched as McGee used the lid to scoop the small rock into the jar and then closed the lid tight.

"What is it?"

McGee just shook his head. He seemed more aware of his surroundings, Tony was grateful to note. Perhaps it had just been the heat he thought, and then McGee held his hand out for him to see. A burn was etched across his palm, the same size and shape as the rock shard McGee had just collected.

"What the hell…" DiNozzo reached out and held his hand over the other rocks that had been in the same pile. Nothing seemed out of place and he gingerly touched the tip of his index finger on one of the rocks, instantly jerking it away. It was slightly warm from the sun, but that was it. He looked carefully at the rock now contained in the glass jar. It was an odd color, not matching anything else around them, with jagged edges and an unfamiliar texture. He reached for his phone, but there was no signal.

"Let me try, I've got a different carrier." McGee pulled his phone out and activated it. At first nothing happened, then a blue glow filled the screen. McGee frowned, it had never done that before. He tried to scroll through the stored numbers, but the phone started to unfold and wrapped around his arm. He stared at it as legs began to emerge. "Tony!"

"What the hell…" Repeating himself because nothing else seemed to meet his needs, DiNozzo fell back on his butt and stared at the fancy gadget that was now attacking his partner. McGee was slapping at it, trying to rip it off his arm. He finally knocked it off and scrambled back, the phone giving chase. The phone, now resembling a giant spider again wrapped around his arm. It was McGee's third yell for help that got DiNozzo moving again and he dashed to a dead snag and grabbed a broken branch. Wielding it like a bat, he knocked it off McGee's arm. It landed, legs in the air, as the two men scuttled backwards. Once they were a few feet clear, Tony pulled McGee upright and the two men began to run to the van, scooping up the evidence jar as they ran.

They made it almost twenty feet before an impact against his back drove McGee to the ground. DiNozzo stumbled to his knees but was able to hang onto the wooden weapon he was carrying. "McGee, can you shake it loose?"

"Trying!" He batted against it, finally grasping one of the legs and flung it as far as he could. Airborne, it was a perfect target and DiNozzo swung for the bleachers. Once it landed, they both opened fire, emptying their clips. Pieces of metal flew as the robotic phone shattered. One of the legs attempted to slither to them and McGee stomped it until it finally stopped moving

"What the hell… what the hell app did you download for your phone, McGee?"