Princess Peach Drives Bowser Insane 3
Bowser's Castle
10:12 PM
Deep within the darkest reaches of Bowser's castle, our antagonist, Bowser, had called a counsel with all of his top baddies. Sitting around a large circular table within his war room were Wart, Kamek, Fawful, Antasma, and Shadow Queen.
"I call this meeting to bring attention to a huge threat looming over our land," Bowser announces to his cronies.
"A bigger threat than you? Is that even possible?!" Kamek responds with much skepticism.
"Yes. This person is the vile creature in the galaxy, and has given me the most grief in my entire villainous career," Bowser continues.
Turning around toward a large screen, Bowser turns on the projector, which reveals the entity of evil he has been describing…
…it was Princess Peach.
The entire room bursts into laughter as everyone nearly fell out of their seats at the so-called 'evil' they were facing.
"You have got to be joking! This is the so-called enemy to all of us?!" Wart bellows hysterically.
"You made funny, crack everyone to great pieces!" Fawful adds, in tears from the revelation.
"I AM BEING SERIOUS!" Bowser shouts, shutting everyone in the room up. "You have no idea what this broad has done to my reputation as of late! If you spent a day or two with her, you'd understand!"
"Oh really? What's she going to do, sic her boy-toy Mario on us?" Shadow Queen inquires smugly.
"Trust me, I'd rather have Mario on my ass than having to deal with 'Little Miss Psycho Bitch'," Bowser comments.
Before the meeting could continue, the doors burst open, revealing none other than Princess Peach standing at the war room doorway.
"What the?! Is that Peach?! How did she get inside the castle?" Kamek proclaims.
"All of you, didn't I tell you to set up a billion traps, weapons, and a massive army to prevent her from getting in here?!" Bowser proclaims in shock.
"We did! How did she get past $2,000,000,000,000,000,000 worth of security?!" Antasma questions.
"Like, it's called a Vibe Scepter, you should totally look it up. Comes handy during that special time of month, ya know?" Peach says sarcastically.
"Oh HELL NO! I'm not letting you make a fool of me again. Everyone, attack!" Bowser orders everyone.
As everyone got up out of their seats and prepare for battle, Peach shuts the door and turns off the lights, causing the room to go pitch black.
"Damn it, I can't see a thing!" Wart croaks.
"No matter, just attack in her general direction!" Bowser orders.
BIF!
SMACK!
ZAP!
POW!
CRACK!
PUNCH!
CLANG!
BOING!
SPLAT!
…WHAM!
The light turn on soon after, revealing every villain had gotten their ass kicked by Peach in the dark. Peach, putting away her tennis racquet, golf club, and frying pan, approaches Bowser and smiles menacingly.
"Like, you totally owe me, Bowser!" Peach says to him.
"Owe you?! For what?!" Bowser responds shitless.
"One: for being a loser host. Two: taking me on that awful date at McDonalds. Three: ditching me at the mall and getting yourself arrested. Now I'm going to really sock it to you and your stupid friends," Peach warns Bowser.
Bowser gulps, he didn't like where this was going.
Streets of the Mushroom Kingdom
5:14 PM
The next evening, a grand parade was held with the streets of the Mushroom Kingdom. Millions came out to celebrate the alleged surrender of King Bowser and his subordinates. A huge parade was held, with all of the baddies, cuffed and chained, carrying Princess Peach's throne as she sat on top with Mario and Luigi.
"See, all it takes is a bit of female intuition to stop the forces of evil," Princess Peach says to the brothers in her usual ditzy, happy-go-lucky self.
Both Mario and Luigi could not believe that after all of these years, Bowser and his baddies were finally out of the picture.
Guess you don't always need a knight in shining armor to be the hero of a story.
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