~REMUS POV~
I still remember vividly the look on James' face when he had wrenched open the curtains around my bed and saw me and Sirius cuddled up together. While he had slept, Sirius had locked his arms together, and his mouth was actually brushing against my neck every time I breathed in. I had squeaked, and leapt away from him, making him wake with a start. Then we'd seen his expression. Pure glee. Then he disappeared through the door and we heard him bellowing out to the entire common room about how Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were found sleeping in the same bed. By lunchtime, the entire school had known.
Various hordes of girls had come sidling up to Sirius all day, some crying, asking if the rumours were true. Instead of blushing scarlet and denying it with all the breath in his lungs, he seemed to smile almost proudly, and nod. By that time, the ones who weren't crying were doing so.
I no longer had to fear my dreaming world. The nightmares about the wolf inside me were now a thing of the past. Every single night, Sirius would clamber in next to me, always with the same reassurances that he would keep me safe. And he always did. I now loved going to bed. Mostly because I'd spend it curled up with the boy I loved, but also because my pillow now smelled exactly like his hair. Even if he was late coming upstairs, I would lay my head on the pillow and breathe in his heavenly scent until he got there.
All four of us sailed through our OWL examinations, and even Peter managed a small smile when they were all over. There was quite a tight situation for James when Lily Evans came so close to hating his guts forever, but her anger was turned on Severus Snape in the end, something which James was quietly ecstatic about. He had come skipping into the common room late that night, saying that he had found Lily crying in the grounds and she'd let him hug her. Sirius had said that it was only a hug, but James grinned and said a hug lead to kisses, and soon enough she would be his.
Which was when she appeared behind him and walloped him with a library book.
My paranoia began to rise again the very next day, as posters went up everywhere talking about a dance reserved for the Fifth and Seventh years only as a treat for finishing their exams. I knew that girls would be ready to kill one another if it meant being asked by Sirius, and I felt certain that he would want to sleep with them instead of me.. Not that I could blame him. I was so terrified that the wolf dreams would come back that I confided in the first person I saw; Peter. I begged him not to tell Sirius, so naturally, by dinner, the raven haired boy knew.
I had been sitting at the table, reading, when Sirius slid into the seat next to me, looking troubled. He told me that Peter had told him, and I made secret plans to throw the boy out of the highest Astronomy Tower. But, like everything else wrong with my life, Sirius sorted it out. He had told me that if I was so panicky about this, he wouldn't go with any girls. He would just turn up and keep me company, so that I didn't have to be alone. I was so amazed by the lengths he would go to just to keep me happy, I agreed without even thinking about it.
So now here we were. The night of the dance. The I couldn't so much as go to the bathroom without hearing someone spreading the rumour that I was going with Sirius as a date. It annoyed me next to no end, but the wolf's blood refused to boil. It was as if Sirius had evaporated it from my body. Utterly amazing..
"Moony! Hey, Moony!!"
His voice snaps me out of my daydream. I look down towards where it had come from. He was leaning against one of the pillars leading into the Great Hall. Streams of boys and girls were practically running into the Hall, desperate it seemed, to dance with one another. I hurried down the rest of the steps, and came to a halt in front of Sirius, who grinned.
"Hey Pads." I say, grinning.
He smiles, then leads me away from the Great Hall and towards the open front doors. I blink up at him, but he only smiles back.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"The lake. It's got amazing views especially on a clear night like this, and besides, I wanna avoid that Hall at all costs."
"Why? Scared your several legions of fan girls will jump you and take you away?"
He laughs. "That and Lily just accepted James' offer to dance. I left as he knocked poor Peter flying in his desperation to get up."
I laugh too, and let Sirius lead me to the lake.
*
We settle on the floor staring out at the lake. Sirius was right, it was beautiful. There were no clouds in the vast black sky, which was littered with stars. A crescent moon shone brightly almost directly above our heads, illuminated perfectly on the lake's mirror like surface. The trees of the Forest swayed rhythmically as a gentle breeze wafted through them. As it swam through Sirius' hair, I was hit with my favourite scent ever. Him. Just him. Everything about him was special.
"Where'd you get this..?" I ask as he hands me a Butterbeer.
"Swiped 'em from the Hall." He says simply, grinning.
I smile. "Thanks Sirius.."
"No problem Rem."
"No.. Thanks for the drink and everything.. But I was talking about everything you've ever done for me.."
"Whatcha mean?" He looks curious.
I sit back and look up at the moon.
"Well.. You've always been there when I've needed you, and you've even started sleeping in the same bed as me to chase away my nightmares. I can never thank you enough.." I finished softly, not looking at him. My throat has gone dry, so I drink.
"Rem..?"
"Yeah?"
"You never did tell me, even though you told Lily.. Who are you in love with, if you still are?"
He looks at me, and I feel my face heating up. I force myself to look back at him, and have to take several deep breaths before I can reply.
"Yeah I am, so much it kills. But.. I never told Lily the name, and I really don't wanna say.."
Sirius nods slowly. When he next speaks, his eyes are glued on mine, and I find I can't look away.
"There's someone that I'm crazy about."
My world feels like it's shattering around me. I feel devastated, but manage to pass this off by taking another drink of Butterbeer. I gulp it down past the lump that has nestled in my throat before replying.
"Who?"
Sirius blinks.
"Why do you wanna know?"
"So I can help you guys get together?" I don't know why I said it.. It was the first thing that came to mind.
Sirius looks taken aback for a few seconds, then he smiles so widely that his entire face seems to light up.
"There's only one way I can tell you who. But you gotta close your eyes."
Highly confused, I do as he asks. I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to run off and leave me sitting there, but I heard him move close by, a lot closer than he had been a few seconds before..
The next thing I know is something is applying very gentle pressure to my lips. Even so, I leap away in shock, covering my mouth. Sirius is kneeling where I had just been, smiling.
"It's you Rem. It's always been you. I don't leap in front of people twice my size for just anyone ya know. Trouble was, I didn't know what I was feeling at the time. I was too young. Then, when I found out about what you were, the feeling grew. I wanted to protect you, I wanted to keep you happy. I wanted you to be yourself, and be relaxed enough to do so. Every time I got a girlfriend, it felt weird. Like something in me wasn't complete. And I realised the first night I spent in your bed.. It was. I was complete. You made me like that. And that time I was listening in on you and Lily? She kissed your forehead, remember? That was why I was avoiding you. Every time I saw you, it killed me. I've only just realised recently Rem, but it's true. I totally, one hundred percent, fucking love you. I'm always going to watch over you, and keep you safe. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you.."
My head was spinning, and my heart was hammering against my ribcage. Was this for real? Did he really mean all of those things? I glanced into his eyes, and saw the pleading look, the longing for me to believe him. I gulped, my mouth now dry too.
"Sirius.. It.. It's you too.. Ever since you saved me.. From Malfoy.. I've been head over heels.. In love with you.."
Sirius looks utterly bewildered for a second, then his face splits into a brightening smile again. He beckons he to him, and I crawl forwards, knowing all of my prayers are about to be answered. About a millimetre away from Sirius, my body froze from both fear and nerves. I began to shake, but Sirius smiled encouragingly, bringing back my confidence. He snaked both arms around my neck and gently pulled me closer, before capturing my mouth with his. It was heavenly, like him. My stomach exploded with a million butterflies as he held me even tighter. I wound my arms around his shoulders and pulled him even closer.
As we broke away a few seconds later, gasping for breath, I saw the moon reflected perfectly in his black orbs. I smiled. The moon had always been my greatest enemy, but now it was my best friend.
And with that thought, I pulled Sirius against me once more, finally experiencing what it was like to be loved by someone who appreciated who I was past the wolf. Past the monster. Into the soul within.