Babysitter Bones

Author: Dreamwind

Summery: Another mission gone wrong, but this time Bones is left to sort out the consequences. Is he prepared to watch over two small children? Especially when those children are Captain Kirk and Commander Spock.

Warning: De-aged Kirk & Spock, terrible use of Southern & Scottish accents, yelling, mildly inappropriate language & potential cuteness overload

Rating: PG

Universe: Star Trek XI

content for this chapter was update on 02/16/11

Chapter 1

Captain's Log Stardate 2259.925
We received our new orders from Starfleet Command and are enroute to Al'Toronn. Ensign Chekov estimates our time of arrival as 1120 ship time two days hence. Upon arrival Commander Spock, Lt. Uhura, Lt. Nakashima and myself will beam down to the planet to attend the Welcoming Ceremony the Al'torinnian High Council is holding before starting the trade negotiations.

Day 1; 2:13 pm, Sickbay

His day had started like everyday. Ensign Bryman complaining of yet another headache, most likely from the Romulan Ale he had smuggled aboard, one of the scientists with yet another minor burn from a failed experiment, and at least three people with indigestion from the replicated breakfast. All in all, a fairly quiet morning. It should have tipped him off that something horrible was going to happen. Something horrible always happened, he just wasn't prepared for how much of a shock it would be this time.

When Lt. Uhura arrived in his sickybay after the landing party returned, Dr. Leonard McCoy couldn't believe the sheer horror that followed her in. Never before had anything quite so horrifying shown up in his sickbay. What God had he offended that he should be witness to such as this? He knew, KNEW, he should have stayed in bed.

"Dr. McCoy," Lt. Uhura asked, "are you alright?"

"I was," his voice came out harsh and shaky. "Do I even want to know what kind of mess caused," he waived his hand angrily in the direction of the two waiting terrors, "this!"

"Oh for-" Lt Uhura jabbed her finger in the Doctors chest. "Stop with the melodrama. The Al'torinnians advised that it is just a bad reaction to the sacred dish of welcoming. It is like a case of the chicken pox or one of the Captain's crazy allergic reactions. It happens in rare instances to their people as well and according to their Esteemed High Medical Office it shouldn't last any more than a month and hasn't been fatal in previous cases."

"That's based on the Al'torinnians physiology!" McCoy had started pacing now, hands gesturing wildly. "Who knows how that will effect Human or Vulcan physiology! For lands sake woman, they could be stuck like this!"

A vein in Uhura's forehead began to pulse. Sometimes the good Doctor was worse than the Captain. The man was always complaining about something. "They have gotten in and out of far worse." Her arms crossed over her chest. "Per Acting Captain Scott you as the ships doctor will be in charge of them for the duration of their illness."

McCoy looked as if he would protest but one look from Uhura had him snapping his jaw closed. "Fine. I'll watch the brats."

"Very well." Uhura turned away from McCoy to look at the two silent forms attached to her legs. "Jim, Spock," the two boys, one with wide mischievous blue eyes and the other with serious dark brown eyes, looked up at her. "I expect you to listen to Dr. McCoy while you are in his care. If you need anything you can ask Dr. McCoy, Nurse Chapel or myself. Alright?"

The two nodded, still staring up at Uhura. "Good." She looked back at McCoy. "They're all yours."

"Well, joy for me."

McCoy agitatedly ran his hands through his hair before turning to look at the five-year-old versions of his two closest friends.

In a way they looked much the same as their adult versions did. Although, the cloths they were wearing were too large and appeared to be nothing but their uniform shirts, not that he was going to lift their shirts to check, mind you. Leonard couldn't help but smirk. In the short time he had known the Vulcan he had never once seen him out of uniform. A devious smile stretched across his face. He would certainly rectify that little problem.

Young Spock suppressed a shiver of apprehension and stepped closer to his young human companion. This was all very strange. He was not sure if he believed the Lieutenant that he was in fact an adult and a commander in Starfleet. It simply was not logical. How could some indigenous food possibly turn an adult into a child? Now he was expected to remain in the care of another human. One he had no previous experience with and who seemed to have a dangerous lack of emotional control. He did not find this logical or acceptable. A small scowl formed at the corners of his mouth as he realized that illogical and unacceptable as it was he would still have to accept the loud Human as his caregiver for the time being.

"Well now," McCoy gave them another once over, "if you two are to stay here we will have to check out your health. I for one am not trusting the opinion of some local shaman who calls himself a doctor."

The child-Kirk gave McCoy a dirty look at that while child-Spock simply nodded his acceptance of the Doctor's wishes. While the human seemed to lack control, Lt. Uhura had assured them the man was an accomplished Federation Doctor and that he had previous experience with Vulcan patients. With no other data to contradict her statements all he could do was to accede to her requests and allow the Doctor to remain his caregiver.

McCoy clapped his hands together, rubbing them gleefully. Before either boy could react he had grabbed Spock, lifted him onto one of the infirmary beds and reached out for a hypospray. Spock had to add the unexpected touch to a mental list against the Doctor's supposed knowledge of Vulcans.

With the hypospray in hand, McCoy turned around to make a grab for Jim only to find him gone. "What the sam hill," cursed McCoy. "Where did he go?"

"I believe that Jim went that way, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy followed Spock's finger to the closed door leading out into the hallway. "Damn it, Jim!" McCoy spun back to face the waiting Spock. "You! Don't move."

Spock's eyebrow raised, even as he remained seated. "As you wish, Dr. McCoy."

"Damn Straight, as I wish, you pointy eared-" McCoy cut himself off. He wasn't about to insult a child in his care. Even if the child was Spock. "Stay here."

Spock nodded, unfazed by the humans sudden outburst. Humans were after all an illogical and emotional race and Dr. McCoy appeared to be a prime example.

Leonard McCoy was not a happy man. When he got up in the mornings he knew there would be people coming to see him throughout the day. He even knew he would see Jim come in at some point. It was a near certainty that Jim or at least one member of an away team would return injured in some fashion, especially if Jim was with them. The man was a magnet for trouble with a capital "T".

But really! How did he manage to get himself, let alone Spock, de-aged into a five-year-old! Honestly, the man was going to give him an aneurysm one day.

McCoy cursed his friend again and continued down the hall stopping everyone he met to see if they had spotted the de-aged captain. So far no one had seen him, or was admitting to seeing him. 'Blast it all! I did not signed up for this!' Growling and cursing under his breath, McCoy stormed through the corridors of the Enterprise, crew members jumping out of his path. How long he spent looking he wasn't sure but he was definitely upset to find little Jim in the engine room climbing all-over the Engineering equipment with Scottie's crazy assistant, Keezner.

"James Tiberius Kirk!" McCoy's voice echo'd in the room, startling its occupants. Jim slipped and fell, landing on the crazy alien, revealing to everyone that Leonard had been correct in assuming that the boys would have nothing on under the adult-sized shirts. The smushed alien nattered something at Jim as McCoy stalked over to them.

"What do you think you are doing," demanded McCoy.

Jim blinked wide blue eyes up at McCoy, looking for all the world like an innocent little angel. "Playing."

"Why did you leave sick bay?"

Jim sat up, still atop the squirming alien. "It was boring. 'Sides you were playing with Spockie." The last was said with a careless shrug that reminded McCoy of the man this child had been and just how emotionally fragile Jim was behind all the bluster.

McCoy pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting back the irritation and looked at the child. "You will come back to Sickbay. I cannot go traipsing about the ship to find you. Besides, it's dangerous for little 'uns like you to be unsupervised."

McCoy took Jim's hand, pulling him up and turned to leave. "Next time he shows up here call me, damn it," snarled Leonard.

"Oh 'ai." Scotty grinned at McCoy's retreating back and shot a thumbs-up at Jim who turned back to grin at the engineer from over McCoy's shoulder.

Jim tried hard to hide his smirk as Dr. McCoy all but dragged him back to the Sickbay. He hadn't really thought the Doctor would come looking for him. At most he figured the man would send a security patrol after him. That was what everyone else did. This man surprised him though. Jim knew the Doctor would require his attention more than Ms. Uhura had. It would be more interesting though. Yes, it would be very interesting.

"-here I thought an adult James T. Kirk was bad. But you just had to prove me wrong, didn't you? Hell you have to prove me wrong in everything else, why not in this as well!"

The door to the Sickbay opened before them and Dr. McCoy swept into the room, Jim dragged along behind him. McCoy pointed to his desk chair telling Jim to sit there and behave. After getting Jim settled Dr McCoy spun on his heel and stalked into the other room where Spockie had been sitting when Jim left. The door closed behind him with a soft whosh, leaving Jim sitting in the small office alone.

Jim couldn't help but squirm around in his chair and look at all the little homey knick-knacks scattered on the various open surfaces. There were a couple bottles of a blue liquid on a shelf behind the desk. On the desk itself were several pictures of Doctor McCoy and a little girl, next to those were a few more photos of the Doctor in a red uniform standing next to a blonde man in the same uniform. It was those pictures that caught Jim's attention. The golden-haired man smiling widely out from behind the glass looked just like the old picture of his Dad that hung in the hallway of his home.

Jim couldn't help but reach out for the picture, his fingers just brushing the frame-

"You horrible green-blooded hobgoblin!"

Jim jumped in surprise at the loud shout, his hand jerking away from the photo. He shivered and crouched deeper into the chair. God, why did adults always yell like that? He hated it when adults yelled. It always meant bad things. The sudden fear that gripped his heart like a vise vanished as he realized that Dr McCoy had not been yelling at him. No, he had been yelling at someone else. Spockie. Doctor McCoy was yelling at Spockie.

Taking a deep breath, Jim pushed out of the chair, squaring his shoulders and standing straight. His eyes burning bright, he marched into the other room. His eyes took in the sight of Spockie sitting on the floor, surrounded by computer chips, plastic and other bits of dismantled technology. What it had been, Jim didn't know. Dr. McCoy was standing over Spockie, his face flushed red, trying to stair Spockie down, which didn't seem, at first, to be working. Jim however, noticed the oh-so slight tremor in the Vulcan boy's hands. With startling speed Jim ran up behind the Doctor and kicked the older man with all his strength. The Doctor cried out and dropped to the floor clutching his knee.

Cursing, McCoy glared at Jim. The little shit just had to kick him in the back of the knee. 'Blast and damnation!' He was going to lay into Jim when he was back to his proper age.

Jim rushed over to Spockie and stood between him and Dr McCoy. Jim stepped back until he felt Spockie's knees press into his heels. Warmth swept over him. He would protect Spockie. No one would hurt him while James T. Kirk was around. Not even a Starfleet Doctor.

Jim crossed his arms over his chest and glared into the Doctor's eyes. "Didn't your Mommy ever tell you name calling is mean?"

"What do you think you are doing," demanded McCoy.

"Protecting my friend." Spock looked up at the back of the human boy standing protectively in front of him. No one other than his Mother had ever behaved this way towards anyone for him. Spock swallowed, his hand clutching at his shirt near his heart which seemed to have started beating irregularly.

For a long time Jim and Dr. McCoy stared at each other. Finally the Doctor gave a long suffering sigh and stood up. "You will pick up that mess. If you cannot put it back together on your own, you will inform me at once. Neither of you is going to leave Sickbay without my permission. Got it?"

Both boys nodded.

"Good." The Doctor moved out of the room and into his office, closing the door behind him.

"You did not need to do that. I was fully prepared to explain to the Doctor what I was doing and that I am quite capable of putting his medical scanner back together."

Jim looked down into Spockie's dark eyes, "Friends are supposed to stand up for each other."

Spock looked up into rather serious blue eyes, Spock's own dark eyes focusing inward. "I…did not realize we were friends."

Jim looked confused. "Of course we're friends. Why wouldn't we be?"

Spock's eyebrow rose. "We only met this morning. I do not see how it is logical to assume that we are friends."

"Oh, well…You don't have to be logical to make friends. But I guess if it makes you feel better there are loads of reasons we should be friends."

Spock looked suddenly intrigued. He had found humans to be very illogical. It seemed most intriguing that one would try to make a logical reason for Spock to be "friends" with him.

"We're both boys. We're also the same age." Spock nodded in agreement. "We're both far away from home. And are families aren't here." Spock nodded again. "I'm smart," Jim looked down at the scattered bits of technology. "So are you. Plus," Jim smiled brightly at Spock, "we are both really cute." Spock looked put out suddenly, which made Jim smiled even wider. "And 'cause I didn't see any other children onboard while I was exploring."

"There is some logic to that, however that does not automatically make us friends. It simply means there are logical reasons as to why we could become friends."

Jim huffed at Spockie. "I have decided that I want you to be my friend, therefore you are my friend. I simply skipped the boring part."

Spockie continued to look at him for a long moment, his hand still clutching his shirt near his heart. "Human's are most illogical."

Jim shrugged, smiling again. "So, what were you trying to do?"

Spock looked to the slowly growing pile of electronic parts. "I was attempting to learn more about how this functions. It was only logical to take it apart to better understand the technology as I am unable to access the ships computer system."

"Okay." Jim picked up a couple pieces. "You wanna' try putting it back together?"

"I was planning to do so."

McCoy set the empty glass down on his desk and leaned back in his chair. He still wasn't sure what he had done to get stuck with the child terrors. As if the two weren't enough trouble as adults. He could only imagine what kind of trouble the five-year-old versions would get up to. The only redeeming value is the potential blackmail material he would get from this. He was going to have to have the computer make new cloths for them, he might as well make it worth his while. Maybe something with little kittens or ducklings all over?

Hmm…This would take some serious thought.