Hey, this is a co-authored crackfic for vjgm's absoloute stunner of a fic Trust In Advertising competition, that ran on Twilighted. Co autored with me and my wonderous beta Katastrophe.

If you haven't read TiA, where the hell have you been? It is a most awesome fic of amazing propotions.

Edward resisted the urge to pinch his fingers at the bridge of his nose. How could he have left the Black file at home? He had taken it last night to read over budget predictions for the meeting that evening. It was so unlike him to be irresponsible with something so important. It had been happening more and more over the last few days, ever since he and Bella had...No he wouldn't think of that now. Edward glanced over at Bella. Her hands were clasped in her lap as she stared out of the window. He knew her facial expressions by now and he could tell that her mind was somewhere else, not on the passing scenery.

"I am sorry about this." Her eyes flashed to his, confusion clearly showing. "About the file, I mean. I am not usually this careless."

"Mmmhmm," was her only reply as they pulled into his apartment garage.

"Do you want to come up while I grab the file?"

"I think it is best if Jane and I avoid all contact where possible, don't you?"

Edward winced at the memory of three days ago when he had basically accused her of trying to sabotage Jane's career. He had handled that conversation with Bella so badly. Everything she had said was true, but the way she had spat the word 'friends' at him had pushed his pride before his common sense. When Jane had told him about the phone call to Jacob Black, his first instinct was pride at Bella standing up to Jane and then to berate Jane for nearly ruining his bid for the contract. Edward was under no illusions that Jane was anything less than very high maintenance. His family had been making their less than friendly feelings toward Jane undeniably apparent for months. His mother, Esme, in particular had badgered him into keeping Jane in line. The phrase 'Over my dead body will that girl ever join this family!' had been uttered more than once to him in relation to Jane. Her incisive whining for him to fire Bella was beginning to grate on his nerves, and the phone call with his mother that morning definitely wasn't helping. To say he was shocked at his mother's suggestion was an understatement, but it was something he surely should have been expecting.

Bella had proven herself to be an excellent natural in advertising. She really understood people, and had a unique ability not only to think outside the box, but way beyond it as well. What Esme had suggested, though, was utterly unthinkable! To move Bella not only away from him, working with him, but to put her in the clutches of Felix was only an option over his dead body, even then he was pretty sure he could negotiate with God or at the very least reason with him. Felix would eat her alive and then spit her out, drained of life, just for having an association with him. No, the promotion she would get would be to working side by side with him, not as an assistant, but as part of the team. There had been no word from Esme on that particular suggestion.

"Edward? Edward, you okay?"

He became aware of Bella's fingers snapping in front of his face. If he could just reach out and kiss her delicate wrist. "What? Sorry? Where was I?"

"I don't know, you zoned out on me. Wherever you went, I don't think it was too pleasant, you had a scowl on your face. You were, however, asking if I wanted to come up. I think it is best if I try and avoid Jane from now on."

"She isn't here. I am not expecting Jane back in the city until later. I wasn't expecting to be home until much later with the Black meeting so I sent her to a day spa with some of her model friends."

"Fine. I might use your restroom, if that's okay."

Edward chuckled. "You don't even have to ask."

The ride in the elevator was awkward; Bella barely looked up from the floor as Edward fought with himself not to pull Bella into his arms. The ghost of their kiss could still be felt on his lips; the tingles had not lessened in the least. It had been for Madison's benefit, and he would do anything for his niece.

The feeling of her soft lips on his set his imagination alight with an invisible flame. The scent of her skin, so close to his nose, overrode any doubt or hesitancy that was left in him. He was hers, and she would be his. His mind gave up the fight and his heart urged him to take it further. He could feel Bella's heartbeat against his chest, through their clothes and it drove him beyond sense and reasoning. It was the first hint that he had that she felt anything other than annoyance at him. The body never lies. When she had opened her mouth to allow him in, it was only Madison's quiet giggles in the background that stopped him taking Bella then and there.

Maybe Emmett was right, not that he would be admitting that to his face, he had been an absolute bastard to her and she still liked him. There was no adoration, no 'take, take, take' with Bella. In fact, she gave so much more than she ever took back.

The horror on her face as she ran from Alice's house still stung him, but honestly, what else did he expect. He was her boss, her bloody boss. Her embarrassment was pretty clear when she reported in sick the next day. The very least he could hope for was that she didn't file a sexual harassment suit against him. But she had kissed him back or was that just wishful thinking? Not to mention he was the reprobate that had a girlfriend and had still kissed her. He had told Emmett the truth. Jane was predictable, to a point; he knew she was using him for fame as well as for sex, and he was okay with that because he knew where he stood with her and that meant that she couldn't hurt him. Bella, on the other hand, had the potential to hurt him beyond recovery. He knew that if they ever went down that road, she would be it for him; there would be no one else that could ever come close. There were far too many what ifs involved to even find out if half of Emmett's so-called observations were true.

He chanced a look at her and he wished he hadn't. She was standing, studying the hand bar like it was the most interesting thing in the world, her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. Clearing his throat was the only way he could suppress the groan building in the back of his throat. Of course, this caused Bella to look up and catch his eyes. Busted! Luckily, he managed to curb the blush creeping into his cheeks as the elevator came to as shuddering stop.

Bella hung back patiently as Edward fumbled with the keys to his apartment. All fingers-and-thumbs-Edward was not one she had seen before and she was happy to observe this chink in his armour. Finally, Edward got the key into the lock and pushed the door open. The front door opened into a large open plan living area filled with afternoon light.

"So, you can get the key in the lock then." Bella muttered, a blush gracing her cheeks as she realised the double innuendo.

Edward threw her a crocked smile before motioning her inside, a small chuckle escaping from his mouth. They walked towards the kitchen area, off the living room, hopefully towards a bathroom. Bella was getting desperate; for the toilet or just to get away from Edward and her embarrassment, she wasn't sure which. Bella stopped dead, Edward running into a back as he followed her.

"What?"

"Shh, listen."

They fell silent. Moans and cries filled the silence.

"What is that noise, Edward? Sounds like someone is dying in your apartment. I thought there wasn't supposed to be anyone here," Bella whispered nervously.

"There isn't. Jane said she wouldn't be back until after mid-night. She hates to be alone in my apartment. Why are we whispering?"

"What if someone broke in? They would hear us, that is why I am whispering." Bella whispered back harshly.

Edward moved to step in front of Bella to protect her. He could feel her small hands on his back as she braced against him, trying to see over his shoulder. To be honest, he had half expected her to argue with him, but instead he could feel her warm breath by his ear lobe. Her smell invaded his senses as he flashed back to their kiss. How many times could a sane man be allowed to remember one kiss?

One hand slid down his back and into his hand as they took baby steps down the hallway, following the noise that got louder with every step. Their shoes made a muted din on the wooden floor, as Bella thanked God again that she had worn ballet flats to the meeting, her arches aching from spending all day in heels. Two pairs of shoes littered the hallway, lying on their sides or upside down. If it was a burglar, he was one messy criminal. Though Edward wasn't sure what use a burglar would have for a pair of size five Jimmy Choo knock-offs.

The noise was clearer now they were near Edward's bedroom, the door lying wide open and a black, sheer top hanging off the door handle. Bella sprung apart as the sight in front of her came into realization. The room was dimly lit by a bed side lamp, but it was now perfectly clear what was going on in the middle of the bed, which appeared to be the source of the murder-like cries that they heard as they entered the apartment. As horror flowed through her veins, she managed a quick glance at Edward. His jaw was open as his brain struggled to capture and process what they were seeing.

A first look, it was as if a blonde haired woman was sitting, with her back to the door, in the middle of a pile of crumpled hunter green sheets. Then, looking closer. there were a pair of hands on her hips, dark-haired knees drawn up behind her and the woman's body was moving.

Edward still hadn't moved, standing stock-still and upright, his jaw still hanging uselessly as the moans turned, in a horrifically familiar voice. To Bella, it was like a car crash; you know it is wrong to stare, but morbid curiosity makes you watch until your brain catches up to the horror and you come to your senses enough to look away.

"Oh, Paul, you are so good at this. Won't it be exciting to sneak off and do this every day when I am the new model for Jacob Black Designs? Oh, right there."

"Hey, look, I told you, I can't promise you the gig but I'll try and talk to the others and see what we can do. Now, stop talking and get moving." Paul smacked her ass and she moved faster.

"Well, if you can't get me it, who can guarantee me the job?" she half screamed, half moaned.

"That would be Jacob, himself. But he seems really into Nessie so I don't fancy your chances there."

"I can get any man I want. Girl Friday, or no Girl Friday."

That was it, Bella stomped her foot and her brain finally engaged to the horror of Jane screwing a member of the Black Designs team in a casting couch style. She wasn't sure whether Jane was the predator or the prey in this scenario, though. Her gaze found Edward slumped against the doorframe in a desperate attempt to enter the room. So he had moved, but his brain was still struggling to engage his speech. She reached over with a finger under his chin and gently pushed his jaw up to connect with the rest of his mouth again.

The contact with Bella brought him out of the stupor he was in as a strangled, "Jane?" left his lips. Jane crashed back down onto Paul, stopping dead, and twisted around in Edwards's direction. Paul gave a blissful moan and his head hit the pillow as Jane moved, obviously now spent in all senses of the word.

"Oh Jesus, Edward!" If it hadn't been for the situation at hand, Bella would have laughed as Jane attempted to dismount Jacob's employee and gather the quilt around her with at least a shred of dignity. "Edward, it isn't what it looks like." Bella watched as the gears visibly ticked over in Jane's head. "What is she doing here?" Jane pointed an accusing finger in Bella's direction. "She...it was her, she set me up."

Bella tried to stifle the laugh that was building in her throat; instead, it came out a snort with a cough mixed in. This was rich. The upper torso that was attached to the body that owned the hairy legs at Janes back lifted himself from the mattress. "Hi Paul." Bella managed, barely keeping it together.

"Hi Bella, having a good day?" He glanced to Bella's left and met Edwards gaze. He quickly dropped his head back to the pillows and wondered what on earth had made him want the skinny model that was currently standing beside the bed with a quilt haphazardly gathered around her body.

"Huh? What?" Edward stuttered as Bella resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Finally Edward had found his voice. "What do you mean, Bella set you up?"

"She got Paul here to blackmail me. He told me that if I didn't sleep with him he would go to the media with some sex tape I made when I was in high school. Then she brings you here to catch us. Don't you see, Eddie, she is trying to split us up."

Jane went to take a forward but Edwards arms shot up in front of him while his gaze held Bella's as her face fluttered between despair, confusion and downright anger. "First of all, I heard everything. Everything, Jane! I know you are trying to sleep your way into a contract with Jacob Black Designs. I told you after the phone call that you were not to ever use me again to get a contract. I know Bella didn't set you up because it was my idea to come here, we were on our way to a meeting with Jacob Black."

"So you brought her here? I knew there was something going on with her."

"No, Jane," Edward asserted, weariness peppering his voice. "Bella is here because I forgot a financial file we need for the meeting, so we stopped on the way to the restaurant."

"A file, that's a new one." Jane threw a murderous glance in Bella's direction that showed she was far from through with her. "It doesn't matter Eddie, I forgive you. I know you love me so I can overlook it just this once."

Edward shook his head and walked towards the bed. The figure in the bed had managed to cover himself already with a sheet but shifted in the opposite direction from Edwards, his hand cupping to protect his now deflated man parts. Edward barely looked at him as he reached over to the bedside table and picked up a file emblazed with the Black Designs logo.

"This would be the file, Jane. Bella didn't set you up. There is nothing going on with Bella and I, we are friendsand co-workers. Hell, she didn't even want to come up here. This is all your own doing." He picked up the phone on the table and pressed a few buttons. "Richard, can you get two of your security team up here. I have two people who require eviction from my apartment." He put down the phone and turned to Jane, who was still shooting daggers at Bella. "You might want to get dressed, Jane. You have five minutes before the security team will be up here, and I think you have exposed yourself to enough people for today, don't you? Come on, Bella, we'll wait in the living room."

Edward breezed past Bella and back out into the hallway, kicking one of the shoes against the wall. Bella picked the top off the door handle and threw it in Jane's direction. "You're a fool, you know." She turned on her heel and followed Edward.

She found him pacing in front of the fireplace that dominated one wall of the large living space. "Are you okay Edward? I mean, that was…"

"I should have seen it coming but in my own bed. My family was right. I have made a complete idiot of myself!"

"If she was causing so many problems with your family, not mention with clients, maybe this is for the best?"

Edward stopped pacing and looked at Bella. She was calm, collected, almost like she half expected something like this. "Did you know about the guy?"

"No, Edward, don't tell me you believed her. I knew the chances of her being faithful to you were pretty slim but I never imagined even she would sink as low as sleeping her way into a contract." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It will all work out."

"Do me a favour Bella, order me a new mattress, new sheets, everything, on Monday. I don't think…" He was interrupted by a knock at the door. Bella answered it to find two burly looking, uniformed men. "You'll find them in the main bedroom, down the hallway and the first door on your right. Careful of the woman, she's a bit of a hellcat – with claws. I can't guarantee she won't bite."

The two men returned with Paul walking unaided in front of them. The other officer looked like he had Jane's wrists behind her back. Bella grabbed Jane's purse from the sofa and pulled out a set of keys. "Edward, are the car keys here yours or hers?"

"Hers, I just want the apartment keys." Bella popped the clutch under Jane's restrained arm and patted it into place. "I want the locks and security system codes changed on the apartment straight away, and my garage codes changed as soon as she clears the building. If any of you let her back into this building, I will have your job. Understand me?" They nodded in confirmation.

"What about my stuff, Eddie?" Jane muttered, her head still defiant.

"I will have it boxed up and you can collect it from security here at 10am on Monday. If you even think of going anywhere near the media again with anything to do with my family again, I will slap a slander lawsuit on your ass so fast your head will spin. That goes for anything about Bella, too. You are to go nowhere near my family, Bella, their residences, or the offices. I warn you now, Jane, I have no qualms about blacklisting you so that you never get another modelling job in North America. Please, just get them out of here."

Bella watched Edward as Paul and Jane were escorted out. The furrow between his eyebrows was back and his hands were clenched at his side. "We should cancel this meeting with Jacob and reschedule for a later date."

"No! Come on, we shouldn't be too late." He held his arm out for her.

The meeting had been a success though Bella carried most of it while Edward struggled to keep his head in the game. Bella loved it, negotiating finances and locations were a part of the job she loved. Concepts would always be where her heart was, but clients had a place there too. Bella and Edward had headed to a near-by bar, as Edward claimed he needed something a little stronger than coffee if he was going to get any sleep tonight. Six glasses of Maker's Mark later, and Edward was several sheets to the wind, swaying side to side as she tried to get his new keys into the lock of his apartment door. Luckily getting his car keys from him hadn't been much of a battle, and he has briefly passed out in the car on the way back. Security had demanded two forms of photographic ID to prove she wasn't Jane before they even let her into the building. The garage was a lost cause, and Edward's precious Lotus was parked on the street up from his building. Finally, the door key slotted into place, and Bella maneuvered a heavy weighted Edward, who was barely using his feet, down the hall to the guest bedroom, closing the door to the master suite as she went. He passed out as she tossed him onto the bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress. She had managed to get his shoes, socks and tie off but the rest of his clothes were a lost cause. Instead she pulled the comforter over him and made for his bathroom.

When she came back into the room with a glass of water and some aspirin, she found Edward struggling out his shirt, his head stuck half way, and his coat on the floor. Gently she undid the buttons and freed him from his confined. His chest was a wonder to behold. Muscles ripped under the skin as he lowered himself back into the pillows. The definition of a six pack could obviously be seen contracting as he made himself comfortable before closing his eyes. Bella was glad he was now asleep so he couldn't see the stumble as she had backed from his bed, eyes never leaving his now peaceful face. She gently brushed aside a lose sprig of hair that had fallen across his eyes. There was nothing left to do but leave him to sleep. "Goodnight, Edward," she whispered over her shoulder.

"Goodnight, my Bella." She barely heard in reply but by the time she turned around, Edward was already fast asleep and probably unaware he had even spoken. Suddenly, Monday morning, when she would see him again, was far too long to wait.

FIN

Results are out and we didn't win but this is great fun writing and even better worling with Katastrope. I know it's a crackfit but if you feel the urge to review then please hit the little green button in the centre of the page, just down there, and answer your urges!