A short while later found Tuvok, Rimmer, Janeway and Lister at the entrance to Holodeck One. Tuvok's security team had located the four intruders there, evil replicates of the Red Dwarf crew that had managed to beam aboard before their copy of Voyager was destroyed by the Borg.

"The holodeck controls and safety have been disabled, Captain. I cannot shut down the program until it is repaired."

"How long would that take?" demanded Janeway, hands on hips in an aggressive pose that clearly meant business. "And how were they able to do that? Do we not have security codes any more?" She was annoyed, and it was not helped by Tuvok's patient reply.

"Twenty minutes, Captain. The holodeck functions are restricted to crew access, however the intruders utilised a more direct approach."

The control panel had been violently and thoroughly attacked with a hard object. Lister nodded wisely. "Yeah, brute force, works every time y'know." Janeway glared daggers at the little man and he had the grace to look down.

"I'm not waiting. Open the doors."

Lister and Tuvok together forced the doors open manually whilst Janeway stood ready with her phaser trained on the opening. They entered two at a time, the Starfleet officers showing their combat training in a leapfrogging manoeuvre, weapons raised, whilst Rimmer and Lister ambled along behind, looking round interestedly. The scene was that of a 'Wild West' town complete with dusty streets, wooden buildings, rails for horses and, down the main street on the left hand side, music and laughter floating on the air through a pair of swing doors from what was unmistakeably a tavern.

As the party approached, the music grew louder, a typical melody poorly executed on an out-of-tune piano. Holstering her phaser and signalling to the others to do the same, Janeway entered the bar with her men on her heels. As they piled in, the music stopped abruptly and a dozen pairs of hard eyes turned to stare at the newcomers. Lister wriggled past Tuvok to stand beside the Captain.

"Want me to handle this, Captain? All these Wild West simulations are the same, and I've played these games loads." He meant well, but this was Janeway's ship. She shook her head almost imperceptibly, her eyes darting around the room. The intruders were not in sight. Straightening her shoulders, Janeway marched up to the bar. The music resumed as Lister scuttled after her, followed by Voyager's security chief and the Red Dwarf hologram, who appeared nervous and kept close to the Vulcan officer.

"We're looking for four men. Two of them look like these gentlemen here," she informed the brawny barkeeper, gesturing towards Lister and Rimmer, "but probably a lot meaner. The others look like a robot and a cat. Have you seen them?"

The barman stopped polishing a dirty glass with his dirty towel and regarded Janeway with a look that was hard to decipher but which may have included annoyance, surprise and appreciation for the fine woman who had addressed him.

"Ain't you gonna buy some drinks first, lady?" he drawled in a deep, masculine voice, banging the glass down on the counter in front of Janeway, who didn't even flinch.

"Okay. What've you got?" asked the Captain, ignoring Lister's frantic headshakes.

"Whiskey," replied the older man, grinning. "Hardly suitable for a lady, if you don't mind me saying. Heck, if you can drink it, sweet cheeks, you can have it for free."

"Four whiskeys, please," Janeway replied coolly, keeping eye contact with the bartender, who shrugged as if to say 'it's your life and I don't care either way'.

"Ooooookaaaay," he drawled, deftly splashing pale amber liquid into four small glasses which were lifted with no small amount of trepidation by their recipients. Captain Janeway raised her glass. "Bottoms up, gentlemen."

Tuvok sipped the drink cautiously, his Vulcan lack of emotions keeping his reaction in check apart from a single raised eyebrow. Rimmer sniffed at the liquid then screwed up his face in disgust, surreptitiously placing it on a nearby table untouched. Bravely his shipmate took a hearty swig from his glass and instantly doubled over in a spasm of choking, some of the fiery spirit trickling down his stubbly chin. Meanwhile, as nonchalantly as could be, Janeway had swallowed down her glass without so much as a grimace and was now smiling at the bartender. Lister, once he could speak again, leaned towards the Captain.

"Do they teach you that in Captain's training," he asked, impressed at the feat. Janeway shot a sideways grin at him.

"Every year my grandfather used to make an apple brew so potent it makes this stuff seem like milk." She then addressed the barkeeper in her usual tone, impossible to refuse. "Have you seen the men we're looking for?"

The barman nodded. "Yes Ma'am, they left here just afore you came in. Said somethin' 'bout a showdown, or was it a shootout?"

Janeway rolled her eyes. She would have been amused by the cliché had the holodeck safeties not been disabled. As it was, the situation was anything but funny.

"What time is this…shootout?" she demanded, only to receive a chorus of guffaws in response from all the patrons within earshot. Lister came to her rescue.

"Er, it'll be midday, Captain. High noon. It's always the same, trust me."

A glance at a clock on one wall showed the time as 11.58. With a deep breath, Janeway led her men out into the open street, where a holographic sun beat down on their heads and forced them to squint in the bright light. Out of the dusty distance four figures emerged, all carrying huge weapons. Janeway recognised two plasma rifles, and from Rimmer's terrified expression the other weapons were Red Dwarf issue and just as formidable. The intruders approached to within a couple of dozen paces and stopped.

Janeway stepped forward. She would have preferred to shoot them first and then sort it out later, but there were regulations about that sort of thing. "Welcome aboard, gentlemen. Can we discuss this like civilised people?"

The evil Lister, wearing scruffy black leathers as did all the replicates, laughed raucously, which Janeway took as a no. Her own Lister bravely squared up, standing again beside the Captain. "Erm, aren't there some sort of rules about shootouts, y'know, walk then turn and stuff?"

Again there was laughter, which evil Rimmer cut off with a wave of one hand. "There are only two rules, Listy. We live," he stated, raising his weapon and aiming directly at Janeway, "and you die." As his finger moved on the trigger and Janeway flung herself to one side, there was the sound of a very slight 'pop'. When she looked round, spitting out a mouthful of dust, the intruders were gone. Lister was immediately at her arm, helping her up. Janeway brushed off her uniform as she stared at the place where the four men had stood.

"What happened?" she asked, directing the question at Tuvok who had produced a tricorder and was scanning the holodeck, but it was Lister who answered.

"Oh, yeah, erm, I forgot to mention – the copies only last an hour. Sorry."

It took all of Captain Janeway's willpower not to throttle the scruffy man with the cheeky grin right where he stood.

There was quite a gathering in the briefing room, one more suited to a crisis negotiation or a discussion of battle tactics than a meeting about a scruffy, lazy human, a paranoid, arrogant hologram, a subservient mechanoid and the vain, feline humanoid descendent of a pet cat. Their mostly harmless guests were amusing themselves in the mess hall, safely watched over by a discreet pair of security personnel. Janeway started the meeting with a question, asked of her Chief of Engineering.

"Have you completed the repairs to their ship, Lieutenant?" B'Elanna Torres nodded in reply.

"Everything seems to be working properly, though it's pretty hard to tell." She shrugged. "Their humorous talking computer seems happy with it, and that's good enough for me."

Janeway then turned to Seven-of-Nine and asked another question, one to which the Captain knew well what her friend's reply would be. "Is there any way to send them safely back to where they came from?"

"Negative, Captain." Janeway didn't press for more, knowing that the former Borg would have exhausted every possibility and that if she said no, then no it was.

"Tuvok," continued Janeway, "as Security Chief, what is your assessment of the security risk posed by our guests?"

Torres let out a loud snort of disbelief. "Captain, you can't surely be considering allowing them to stay on Voyager?" Her tone was incredulous, and there were several nods of agreement around the table. Janeway regarded the fiery-tempered Klingon with a cool gaze, then turned back to Tuvok.

"The threat to security is minimal, Captain. These people have no malicious intentions towards us and have indeed demonstrated their wish to keep Voyager from harm."

"Captain, they could've destroyed the ship!" B'Elanna cut in again and had to be hushed by Tom Paris who sat next to her, looking relaxed and content to listen.

"So could the Borg," countered Janeway harshly. "Nevertheless, I take your point. Chakotay, what is the danger of them causing unintentional harm to Voyager or her crew?"

The quiet man paused before answering. As First Officer, all department chiefs reported to him; he was in charge of day-to-day personnel issues, shift rotation, duty allocations. He thought out his answer carefully.

"All four of them would need to be supervised around vital systems and to undergo a period of intense training to become familiar with our technology. We would need to introduce additional security measures to guard against their…curious nature causing any trouble. In particular, the Cat and Mr. Lister could be difficult at first. But as for doing any serious damage, I can't see that happening."

"Oh, please, that Cat presses every button he sees! Ok, so he can't set the self-destruct, but how about decompressing the cargo bay or overloading a few plasma relays? And if we're not sucked out into space or vaporised in a plasma leak, the females on the crew will never get a moment's rest with that sex-crazed clothes-hanger on board!"

"The Lieutenant has a point, Captain," added Seven, who had been pestered by Cat since he arrived on board. Everyone around the table began to talk at once, and Janeway called for silence.

"I know the Cat is a bit of a handful, but what about the others? Tom, you've spent time with Mr. Lister, what is your view of him?"

"He's….different, Captain," Tom answered slowly. "He wasn't an officer, didn't want to be one, but since their crew died he's come out as the natural leader. He's smart, resourceful and won't give up without a fight. But…he doesn't like being part of a command structure, resents authority figures. You'd need to allow him some freedom or he would rebel."

Silent until now, the Doctor spoke up. "I've been talking to Mr. Rimmer lot, Captain. He has his faults, but he appears to have provided some stability to their crew, tempering the recklessness of Lister and the Cat. He is ambitious, but not overly bright, and unlike Mr. Lister he thrives in an environment such as ours, even when he possesses the lowest of ranks."

"Thank you, Doctor," said Janeway, leaning her chin on her hands. "Well-"

"What about the mechanoid?" Tom asked suddenly, looking around the table. For the first time Torres showed a spark of enthusiasm.

"He's been helping us with the repairs. Actually, he's done a good job. No arguments, no insubordination-" here B'Elanna shot a quick but meaningful glance towards Seven-of-Nine, whose first few days aboard had been less than peaceful, "-he does what he's asked and seems happy to help."

Janeway tapped her fingers on the desk, thinking. There was nothing for it; she had to make a decision. Or rather, she thought, glancing at each of her loyal, capable officers in turn, they had to make a decision.

"In my opinion, we can't send them off on their own, even with their ship now repaired. The Delta Quadrant is too dangerous for them to be abandoned. And let's not forget – they're from Earth. Not our Earth, but it's still home for them as much as for us. But as we've discussed, there are risks involved in keeping them on board and they do seem to have a knack for getting out of trouble. I'm going to ask each of you in turn for your vote. Let them stay, or ask them to leave. Harry?"

"I say let them stay, if they want to, Captain."

"Tom?"

"Fine by me."

"Tuvok?"

"I would also agree, Captain, though not without reservations."

"Thanks, Tuvok. B'Elanna?" There was a silence as all eyes watched the feisty engineer. She brought her fists down with a thud.

"But, Captain, they're – they're a menace!"

"Come on, B'Elanna," Tom wheedled, with a broad grin. "Where's that Klingon thirst for adventure?"

"All right, fine. As long as they stay out of my engine room, whatever."

"Doctor?"

"Always happy to receive new patients, Captain."

"Neelix?"

"Of course they should stay, Captain, it's dangerous out there. Who knows what could happen to them?"

"Seven?"

"I concur."

"Chakotay?"

Voyager's First Officer smiled at Janeway. "I agree, Captain. If the Red Dwarf crew want to stay on Voyager, we'll find a way to make it work. You took in my Maquis crew, then Neelix and Kes, and Seven of course. The more, the merrier."

"Thank you, Commander. I suppose, then, the matter is settled. Assuming our guests agree, I propose a welcome party tonight, Holodeck One. Neelix?"

"I'll see to it, Captain." The furry Talaxian scuttled off eagerly.

As Janeway remained seated, all but one of the others made their way from the briefing room, and the Captain was unsurprised by the identity of the crewmember who remained behind.

"Problem, Seven?" enquired Janeway of the younger woman. Her friend faced her squarely and Janeway sensed a difficult question on her lips.

"Do you think this is a wise decision, Captain?" the former Borg asked, her approach forthright as usual. Janeway leaned back in her chair and tilted her head to one side, her grey-blue eyes settling intently on Seven-of-Nine.

"Perhaps not, Seven, but it's the human one. We don't leave our people behind."

The End.

Thank you all for reading. I enjoyed writing this story very much, and I may write a sequel in the future as there is definitely the potential for more.

Sam C.