Movie Night (Part Deux)

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

Authors Note: Procrastination is fun. This fic makes no claims of being realistic, well written, or anything but nonsensical rubbish. Hope you enjoy it though!

Summary: The gang have (another) movie night. It results in a somewhat drunken discussion about which Lord of the Rings characters each of them corresponds too.

It had all started when Marian and Djaq had heard about a week long Guy of Gisbourne convention being held over in Scarsdale. Apparently they were not the only ones who spend large periods of time thinking about him shirtless, and having breathlessly hysterical conversations about what it might be like to be his girlfriend. The minute they heard that Gisbourne would actually be present at the convention, signing copies of his autobiography "My Life in Leather" it had been inevitable that they would be going to Scarsdale.

So, they had gone shopping for new and pretty clothes (Much had been most distressed, because the money for these clothes came out of their weekly food budget), packed their bags, and jumped onto the express wagon to Scarsdale with a call for the boys to "behave themselves." (Marian had locked eyes with Robin as she called this, and he had scuffed his feet on the ground like a naughty child, because he knew that she was talking directly to him.)

The men of the gang had spent the first day of their freedom from females walking around naked.

They had spent their second day having a Halo marathon by connecting multiple x-boxes.

On the third day they were just starting to miss the ladies (after all there had been very little intelligent conversation since they had left, and spending time in such a narrow group meant that there was only so much "who likes who" discussion that could go on because options were so limited.) To try and combat the melancholy that was overcoming the group Little John, a long time Peter Jackson fan (partly because they shared the same love of somewhat bushy facial hair), had suggested a Lord of the Rings marathon. He had all three of the extended editions in his DVD collection (which strangely also included Clueless and Pride and Prejudice), and so they had only needed to load up on junk food, popcorn and beer before settling down to watch the movies.

Even Allan, who had complained non-stop since the marathon was decided upon (the idea of sitting still for more than 15 minutes bothered him, let alone more than 9 hours) had joined them…though he was making his feelings known about how poor he thought the films were.

Will, who had never seen them before (he hadn't been allowed when he was living at home, his father didn't want him getting ideas about running off to have epic sword fights with people wearing prosthetics), was extremely excited. Much was too, he particularly enjoyed the bits with the hobbits in Hobbiton, because it was all so homely and nice (there was a hint of criticism in his praise of Hobbiton's homeliness, the idea that it was something that they didn't really enjoy in Sherwood).

Robin, of course, liked all the battles and hitting and killing and excitement that went on. He didn't find Arwen hard on the eyes either…

They managed to get half way through the second movie before the inevitable conversation came up. It was Allan, of course, who brought it up. He had just woken up after his second nap, and was a bit irritated that no-one else seemed to find the epicness of Lord of the Rings as boring as he did.

"Much, did you find yourself watching Sam for tips when you decided to take up the mantle of ever faithful servant?"

Much choked on the piece of popcorn he was eating.

Will, who was a bit of a talkative after a beer or two, smiled dazedly and agreed heartily with Allan. "Yeah Much, you really are as loyal to Robin as Sam is to Frodo. Can you swim? Or would you have drowned the way Sam almost did in that bit in the first movie? I was quite scared in that bit, you know, having never seen…"

Allan cut him off before he could continue too much further.

"See, Will agrees. I think that you're Sam through and through."

Much had managed to get the piece of popcorn out with the help of Little John and the Heimlich manoeuvre.

"Well if I'm Sam, whose loyalty, by the way, is the reason that Sauron is defeated later on, then you're Saruman, the traitor, who ends up getting killed by enormous walking trees! So there!"

Little John, unable to believe that people were actually talking over the sacred brilliance of Lord of the Rings, shushed them loudly.

"Gimli" Will and Allan said together, and then Will giggled because they'd said exactly the same thing at the same time, and he really didn't hold his alcohol well.

Little John glared at them, the kind of glare that makes even the strongest of men wet their pants and run away to find their mothers.

Allan was unperturbed. "You'd probably have to walk on your knees though John. Gimli is meant to be a dwarf."

"You're not Saruman. He's far too intelligent to be associated with an idiot like yourself. You, and giggly there" Will giggled again, "are clearly Merry and Pippin, the comic relief."

"You know" Much added, wanting to stick the knife into Allan for his mocking of loyalty, "there have always been questions raised about just how much Merry and Pippin liked each other. Some would even say they loved each other." His voice had taken on a knowing tone.

Allan and Will locked startled eyes for a second and then tried to shuffle as far away from each other as they could while still being squashed onto a two seater couch.

"How can Much be Sam when I'm clearly Aragon though?" Robin asked, a little irritated that no one had yet made this obvious connection.

John sighed and paused the movie. "Aragon is nobility, that is true. But he is also a quiet and sensible character who doesn't have a cheeky bone in his body."

Robin opened and shut his mouth for a minute. He looked like a fish out of water. "But, but I am Aragon! Who else is noble and an excellent fighter? Well??"

"But master, Legolas is the archer of the group. Not Aragon."

Allan snorted with laughter. Will joined him soon after.

Robin was speechless. Legolas? The guy with the flowing locks?!

John, satisfied that they had dealt with everything that needed to be dealt with, turned the movie back on with a final glare that let everyone know there would be no more discussion tolerated.

Will, however, had the last word.

"Can you speak elvish Robin?"

Snicker. Oh, crack fics. How you make life so much stupider. Copies of Gisbourne's autobiography to everyone who reviews!