Chief Science Officer's Log: Star Date 3251.8

My most embarrassing moment happened when I got on a bus to go to Vulcan. The bus was very full, so I stood up and held on to a phaser. At the next stop, I saw an alien get up, and I ran over to grab his tribble, but I accidentally jabbed my arm into his tongue and broke his butt. And then as I was apologizing, the bus came to a complete stop, which caused me to drop my phaser and fall on top of a lovely lady who was carrying a spear. Believe me, my face was green that day! While Jim and McCoy seem to think it's hysterical, I cannot find the humor in the situation. FML.