I myself have only seen bathroom stalls that say things like [blank] is a fucking ho and E.S.O rules, but maybe you've seen some great philosophy in the form of bathroom graffiti.

Disclaimer: I disclaim Ranma 1/2, all the songs, and everything thing else copyrighted in here that is very much not mine. Say thank you to xkcd for my borrowing a few things!

Bathroom Stall Philosophy

Another frustrating morning of dealing with Ranma's harem is what sends me to Furinkan High's ladies room on the verge of tears. Sometimes it's all too much, you know? I can barely even remember what it was like around here before I got a gender-bending fiance and met his other crazy fiancees and the loons they all attracted. It was quieter here, except for Kuno and all the guys at school . . .

Which is not to say I don't like all of the crazy. It's . . . entertaining at times. But I could do without the clingy jealous girls and egocentric jerk of a – a jerk frustrating me to tears.

It's not like I'm even crying that much. Eyes are barely misting, really. Not for the first time I'm glad I don't wear make up, so I can rub this scratchy-as-hell toilet paper all over my face without fear of coming out looking like The Joker. The harem would just love that. They can hold their breaths, though, if they think they can catch me crying. Cold day in hell and all that.

As I sit on the closed toilet lid and feel all the world like a lonely puppy, the bathroom graffiti catches my eye and proves suitable distraction from harems and such debauchery. I thought everything written in bathroom stalls was shit like So-and-So sucks dick or X was here or other enlightening things like that. There are a lot of things like that – u r a cunt stands out particularly bright in hot pink Sharpie – as well as one or two phone numbers written clumsily around. Mostly, though, I see the souls of high school girls bared for all bathroom goers to see.

Tons of stuff, from pithy sayings to bits of poetry I recognize from class to confessions to long, continued philosophical conversations. Anonymous and genuine voices that want to be heard.

We are the music makers . . . and we are the dreamers of dreams, writes one red pen. I forget who said that.

he thinks i've stopped lying to him but i've just gotten better at it, says a blue one.

Do you think there's any God up there? It's getting harder and harder for me to believe it.

I cheated on my S.A.T.s and this is the first time in years my mom has said she's proud of me.

I finally have the right pen – but nothing to say. – story of my life, man

I read the graffiti in the bathroom stall/Like the holy scriptures of the shopping mall. – some Green Day song

This graffiti is fleeting human contact – both of us lost, but for a moment we're lost together. I wonder who you are. (This one is easily my favorite.)

All of it's by different hands and different pens. Some of the writing looks like it's years old. Are all bathrooms like this? Do Furinkan High ladies just have more soul than most? Are we just into anonymity? I wonder if Nabiki or Kasumi have ever written in here. I wonder what the boys' room looks like.

I'm struck by the sudden desire to add my own voice to the pot. I pull an indelible marker out of my bag and think for a minute about what I should write. Surprisingly – or unsurprisingly, considering what sent me in here in the first place – Ranma is the first thing to pop into my head. I take another moment to sit.

Tell me a song with love in the title.

Then I cap the pen and hurry the hell out of the bathroom before I can cross out what I wrote.

It's maybe a month later that I find myself back in that stall. I haven't forgotten it – not sure I could at this point – but Nerima seems to have a way of throwing wacky hijinks in your face that will distract you from such things as bathroom philosophy. Or maybe that's just me.

Either way, I'm back in the stall. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about any replies – who knows if all the writings in there are a decade old anyway? Maybe the bathroom was given a heavy cleaning and new paint job in my absence and all the voices have been wiped out. I don't want to be disappointed.

Tell me a song with love in the title.

But they wouldn't be Furinkan ladies if they failed to impress.

All You Need Is Love (The Beatles) one writes.

"Love In Vain" is scrawled in black.

i don't love you

Goodbye Love

Peace, Love, and Understanding.

There are more. I notice most of the songs are English ones.

I Will Always Love You

victims of love

"Where Did Our Love Go?"

Somebody to love – Queen, dude!

The titles range from sweet to cynical to hopelessly romantic and everything in between. Some make me smile, more than one reminds me of feelings of sorrow. My faith in humanity is rearing its head hopefully for the first time in a while, just in time to see another scrawl, one not in reply to my question. My faith scowls and ducks down again.

Girlz who writ in bathroom wallz r stupid bitches.

I think I look for meaning in the wrong places sometimes.

Tell me a song with love in the title.

Jax