OMG, I can't believe it was March when I finished my last story. At first I just needed the break to get some spring chores done around our house. Then my son turned 18 and graduated from high school. Just when I thought life had settled down and I could begin writing again my nephew, who's only a year younger than I am, committed suicide. All I can say is that life had better cut me some slack, because I really need the distraction that writing provides.

I'm going to go ahead and post this first chapter, but I can't promise how quickly I'll update. Though I swore I'd never do another major project on my house, my husband and I are remodeling again. Between that, family and work, I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write.

The original idea for this story came from a song called 'Used To' by Daughtry. The moment I heard it I could see Hiei thinking about Kurama, so I'm using it in the beginning of this. As usual, I'm not sure where this is going, so suggestions are always welcome (and in this case, needed).

Last but not least, I'd like to thank KyoHana for writing me and listening to my woes.

I do not own YuYu Hakusho. Yu Yu Hakusho and it's characters are property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Fugi TV, Shueisha, Jump Comics and Studio Pierrot. The only thing I own is a love for Yu Yu Hakusho and it's characters. I make no money from this.

AFRAID TO LOVE

Chapter 1

From the sidewalk below, Hiei looked up at Kurama's bedroom window and wondered what kind of reception he would get. He'd made himself scarce the past few weeks, not wanting to bare witness to the new game the ancient fox was playing. With a grunt, Hiei shook his head. Game was a good word for what Kurama was up to, he knew that first hand. Heaving a sigh, the fire demon made sure no one was watching before flitting up the tree.

Finding the window slightly ajar, Hiei took that as a good sign and pushed it open. As he slipped into the room he could hear Kurama in the other room singing along with the music coming from the stereo. With a smirk he caught sight of the redhead dancing to the beat as he cleaned. Knowing how much Kurama hated to be caught off guard, Hiei toed off his boots and made himself comfortable on the bed.

Drifting on the edge of sleep, several songs had played before Hiei became aware that he was even listening. Suddenly the words of one song reminded him so strongly of his friendship with Kurama that he couldn't help paying better attention.

You used to talk to me like… I was the only one around.

You used to lean on me… the only other choice was falling down.

You used to walk with me like… we had nowhere we needed to go… nice and slow.

To no place in particular.

We used to have this figured out. We used to breathe without a doubt.

When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.

We used to have this under control… we never thought, we used to know.

At least there's you, and at least there's me.

Can we get this back? Can we get this back… to how it used to be?

Almost wishing he could force the image of how close he and Kurama used to be from his mind, Hiei continued to listen.

I used to reach for you when… I got lost along the way.

I used to listen… you always had the just right thing to say.

I used to follow you… never really cared where we would go… fast or slow.

To anywhere at all.

We used to have this figured out. We used to breathe without a doubt.

When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.

We used to have this under control. We never thought, we used to know.

At least there's you, and at least there's me.

Can we get this back? Can we get this back… to how it used to be?

It was almost painful to hear the singer voice the words that were in his own heart about his best friend.

I look around me, and I want you to be there. Cause I miss the things that we shared.

Look around you… it's empty and your sad. Cause you miss the love that we had.

You used to talk to me like… I was the only one around. The only one around.

Hiei's eyes shot open as the chorus played again. Though the words were the same, somehow they sounded different all of a sudden.

We used to have this figured out. We used to breathe without a doubt.

When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.

We used to have this under control. We never thought, we used to know.

At least there's you, and at least there's me.

Can we get this back? Can we get this back… to how it used to be?

As the song trailed off, Hiei was no longer listening. The words that he thought had so closely resembled his friendship with Kurama, wasn't about friendship at all… it was a love song.

Hiei nearly jumped when his thoughts were suddenly interrupted. "Hello Hiei. What brings you here?"

Praying his voice didn't reveal what he was thinking, Hiei grunted. "I wasn't aware I needed a reason to visit you Fox."

Kurama smiled. "You don't, of course. You know you're always welcome here Hiei. It's just that… I'm expecting someone in a little while."

Something in Kurama's voice revealed more than his words. Not caring if his annoyance showed, Hiei growled. "You mean the detective? I thought you'd be bored with that game by now. Is he even aware that you are the hunter and he is the prey in your little game?"

With a grin, Kurama moved to sit facing Hiei on the bed. "I believe he is, yet he continues to take the bait."

Sitting up to put a little more distance between them, Hiei sighed. "What will you do when you finally catch him?'

Dark red lashes lowered seductively over gold rimmed green eyes as Kurama's grin widened. "Amuse myself until something more interesting catches my eye."

Ignoring the fact that those same eyes slowly swept up and down his body, Hiei grunted. "Hn! Does it mean nothing to you that he and that human female of his are about to be mated?"

The deeper timber of Kurama's voice, confirmed Hiei's suspicions… the Youko wanted to play. "You know me Hiei. Just because I enjoy the chase doesn't mean I intend to keep the prize. Then again, that would depend on the prize. A prize like you for example, I might not be so willing to forfeit to another."

Forcing himself not to swat away the hand that reached for his cheek, Hiei growled. "I will not sleep with you Fox! Besides, I don't like to share."

Closing his eyes to prevent himself from flinching, Hiei remained motionless as Kurama slowly moved forward. "Who said we were going to sleep Dragon?"

As soft lips took possession of his in a demanding kiss, Hiei knew he would lose the battle not to respond. Just as a moan slipped from his parting lips though, Kurama pulled back. Angry with himself, Hiei drew a deep breath and watched Kurama pull his phone from his pocket.

Kurama's eyes never left Hiei's as he dialed, then held the phone to his ear. "Yusuke, hi. I hope I caught you before you left… I'm afraid I need to cancel tonight. Something suddenly came up… Me too. I'll call you later."

Hiei didn't move as Kurama closed the phone and tossed it on the nightstand. The beautiful redhead then proceeded to move to his knees and crawl closer. "There, now you won't have to share."

Heart racing, Hiei glared back. "I will not have sex with you Kurama!"

With soft lips and big green eyes pouting down at him, Hiei leaned back. That however proved to be his fatal mistake as Kurama crawled over him, pressing him back into the pillows. "Please Hiei, you've been so distant lately. It's been ages since we've played. At least let me kiss you. I've missed you so much."

Before he could draw a breath, Hiei found his lips claimed once again. Not sure he even wanted to win against the fox, Hiei wrapped his arms around Kurama's neck and surrendered to the kiss. When Kurama began rubbing himself wantonly against him, Hiei suddenly came back to his senses.

With a firm shove, Hiei rolled them until the redhead was beneath him. Exuding a bit of strength, Hiei managed to pin Kurama's hands beside his head as he broke their kiss. Disappointed, Kurama moaned. "Hiei…"

The sight of Kurama's rich red hair fanned around him and the unbridled passion in his gold-rimmed green eyes, nearly broke Hiei's resolve. Shaking his head, the fire demon spoke firmly. "I missed you too Fox. Now, IF I agree to play we need to get one thing straight. I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"

Looking as if he was contemplating his options, Hiei thought Kurama was going to argue. Suddenly the fox sighed. "Alright Hiei, no sex. I want more kissing though, and you have to agree to sleep with me all night, not just run off."

Hoping he was strong enough to stick to his own rules, Hiei agreed. "Fine, but you have to catch me first."

Before Kurama could blink, Hiei flitted out the window. With a huge grin, Kurama gave chase. Careful to avoid any plants that might be used against him, Hiei allowed the rooftops to be their playground. Even with his speed though, Hiei was barely able to stay ahead of the redhead.

Using Kurama's weakness for protecting humans against him, Hiei flitted dangerously close to any human foolish enough to cross his path. This gave Hiei just the advantage he needed to keep his lead in their game of chase. When hours passed and Hiei hadn't been caught, he realized Kurama must be enjoying their game enough to deny himself a victory.

It was just before dawn when Hiei decided to allow the fox to win and headed back to the apartment. Flitting into the bedroom, the fire demon had only seconds to kick off his boots, strip down to his shorts and dive under the covers before Kurama came through the window. "I'm not fooled Dragon. Even if you were asleep I still intend to claim my prize."

Turning just in time to see Kurama strip down to his own shorts, Hiei growled. "You can stop right there you horny fox. The only prize I agreed to was a kiss."

With a sly grin, Kurama tossed his pants aside, along with Hiei's, before slowly crawling over Hiei. "As I recall, it wasn't just a kiss we agreed to my sexy fire demon, but kissing. Lots of kissing."

Before Hiei could protest, Kurama settled over him and claimed his lips. Enjoying the beautiful fox's sexy body rubbing over his, Hiei wove his fingers into the dark red hair cascading around him. A sexy moan escaped Kurama's lips as Hiei held him tight and deepened their passionate kiss. Settling over the hips beneath him, Kurama ground himself against Hiei's hard length.

Knowing his partner sought release, Hiei reluctantly pulled one of his hands from Kurama's silky tresses to skim it down his body and squeeze his behind. Satisfied with the half moan, half growl from the fox, Hiei's hand moved around to touch him more intimately. Understanding Hiei's intention, Kurama pressed one knee into the mattress, allowing him to raise up enough for Hiei's hand to slip between their bodies.

The moment Hiei's hand wrapped around his length, Kurama's body began rocking into it. When the fire demon tightened his grip and raised his temperature just a bit, Kurama tore his lips away as he thrust hard against his partner. "Inari Hiei, YES! Please Dragon, make me cu… AAAHHHH!"

With Kurama collapsed against him, Hiei removed his hand and licked it clean. "Is that what you needed Fox?"

Pressing his core against Hiei's hard cock, Kurama sighed. "As good as that felt my sexy Dragon, I can't help but remember how much better it used to be with you inside me. I know you won't make love to me, but let's see what I can do to take care of that big hard cock between me legs."

Whether he was unwilling or unable to protest, Hiei could never knew as Kurama moved down and settled between his legs and pulled down his shorts. "KuramAAAHHH!!!"

Hiei spread his legs and gripped the sheets tight as Kurama's warm wet mouth slid down his erection and suckled. "Quit teasing Fox! You know how I like it."

Chuckling around the quivering length in his mouth, Kurama relaxed his throat to accommodate Hiei sizable length. A moment later, when Kurama's rough suckling and bobbing caused his teeth to scrape along his cock, Hiei cried out. "Gods yes Fox! Just like that!"

Excited beyond words, Kurama climaxed again when Hiei grabbed the back of his head, thrust himself to the back of the redhead's throat and growled his release. "Damn you Kurama!"

Crawling from the foot of the bed, Kurama took a moment to clean himself up. "Don't you blame me Hiei. I didn't do anything you didn't want me to do. Besides, I didn't brake the rules since we didn't actually have sex."

When Kurama crawled under the covers and settled against him Hiei sighed. "I'm not sure what to make of you these days Kurama. I know the youko and human in you have begun to merge, but lately it's like you've got a split personality. When I got here, you… or I think the human part of you, was preparing to seduce Yusuke. Then like a switch being flipped the youko came out to seduce me instead."

When Kurama's soft voice responded, Hiei knew the youko was gone and it was the human answering him. "I'm sorry Hiei. It must be awful trying to keep up with me these days. Yes, Yoko and I are having a merging of the minds, but we haven't quite had a meeting of the minds yet. Though we would both be thrilled to have you as our lover, I can't help but want to explore the attraction I have to Yusuke."

Hoping his voice didn't reveal his disappointment, Hiei murmured. "Are you in love with him Fox?"

Against his shoulder, Hiei could feel the shake of Kurama's head. "No Hiei, you know I don't believe in love. I'm not even sure how to explain it. For the human part of me it's like hero worship. He first caught my attention as a boy when he saved me from the Forlorn Hope. During the dark tournament, I admired how protective he was of his teammates, especially me. Then and now, every time I'm wounded he's right there taking care of me and leading me to safety."

As Kurama continued, Hiei hid the old regret that it hadn't been him to protect the fox all those years ago. "And the Youko in you?"

Against his shoulder, Hiei felt Kurama shrug. "Curiosity mostly. Yusuke is a powerful demon, not to mention he's incredibly attractive. Having him for a lover, even if only once, will sate that curiosity."

Though he wasn't pleased with Kurama's answers, Hiei held him close and stroked his hair. "In other words, he'll just be another notch on your bedpost. What if satisfying your curiosity ruins his relationship with that female he's mating with? Will it be worth it then Fox?"

Much to Hiei's annoyance, Kurama chuckled. "Since I've been reborn Hiei, the only notch on my bedpost is you. As for Yusuke and Keiko, I have no intention of coming between them. Yusuke loves her, he's just curious himself. He'd just like to experience hot, horny demon sex once before they're married. Who better to give that to him than a trusted friend who happens to be me? You should know that better than anyone Hiei."

Shaking his head at the amusement in Kurama's voice, Hiei reluctantly agreed. "You just want me to stroke your ego, don't you, you conceded fox? As you well know, your skill as a lover is legendary… and well deserved. You're also right that if he decides to experiment with demon sex, it should be with someone he can trust. A demon as powerful as any of us shouldn't allow ourselves to be vulnerable with an unworthy lover. Fine, do as you will. It's not like you need my permission anyway."

With a smile, Kurama tipped his head up to kiss Hiei. "Thank you Dragon. I may not need your permission, but I don't want you upset by what I do either. Now that we have that settled, let's get some sleep."

Frustrated that Kurama somehow had the impression that Hiei condoned his actions, Hiei just grunted. "Stupid Fox. Go to sleep."

With a contented sigh, Kurama cuddled closer. "Goodnight Hiei."