Authoress: TheRealQueenOfHell. Bow to my asome-ness! (or not)

Title: Little Orange Riding Hood

Summary: Little Orange Ridding Hood (aka. One Naruto Uzumaki) is asked by his mother to take some cookies to his grandmother. But what happens when he catches a certain duck-butted wolf's eye? Crack one-shot because I have way to much time on my hands…SasuNaru

Rating: "T" for "Too Much Pocky"

There is a tale that talks about how once upon a time, there lived in a certain hidden village that we all know and love… a little ninja boy known as one of craziest pranker in all of the Fire Country. That of course is a story that we all know and love rather well. It involved a group of crazed nin bent on world domination (isn't every arch villain?) and a rather short, extremely loud and annoying boy inhabited by a rather large, mean spirited, many tailed fox… This, of course has nothing to do with that story.

Instead, the boy in this story was known as one of the handsomest creatures who was ever seen. His mother was excessively fond of the boy; and his grandmother, Tsunade doted on him a great deal. This kind, if excessively strong, woman had a little orange riding hood made just for him. The boy looked so good in it that everyone called him Little Orange Riding hood.

One day his mother, having made some very yummy cookies, said to Naruto, "Go, my dear, and see how your Grandmother Tsunade is doing, for I hear she has been very sick lately, probable from drink too much sake in the mornings. Take her a cookie or two, and this book, "Come, Come, Paradise" for her husband."

Naruto set out right away to go to Tsunade's house, whom lived in another village.

As Naruto skipped through the wood, he began to sense a eerie presences in the woods. He turned his head from side to side looking for the cause of the feeling. Naruto was so busy looking around he ran head long into a large wolf, who had a very great mind to eat him up. Eat him all up. If one is able to understand such a audacious innuendo… But Sasuke dared not, because his older brother and his friends were working as woodcutters nearby and Sasuke just knew they would take the boy away from him if they could.

As an evil plan hatching in his mind, he asked the yummy looking blond where he was going. The poor gullible boy, who could not tell that the wolf was leering at him, said to Sasuke, "My mother asked me to go see my grandmother and give her some cookies and a perverted book for my Grandpa."

"Does she live far off?" said the Sasuke trying not to grinning too evilly at the riding hood wearing boy.

"Oh, let me see," answered Naruto, being rather reckless; "She lives beyond that mountain with all the faces on it. At the first house in the village. It's not that far away if you cut through the forest, but my mom says it's dangerous to go that way. She says you might run it to a wolf."

"Well," said the wolf, "your mother is right. Just yesterday I saw a wolf running along the path you just pointed to. You know what? I think I'll go and see Grandma Tsunade too. I'll go this way and keep an eye out for any more wolves and go you that, and we shall see who will be there first."

With that said Sasuke then took off. Running as fast as he could, taking the shortest path, so that he would get to the Old Hag's house before Naruto did.

Meanwhile, the lazy boy took a roundabout way, entertaining himself by gathering nuts, running after butterflies, and gathering bouquets of little flowers.

It was not long before Sasuke arrived at the Old Hag's house. He knocked at the old wooden door rather hard; turning his head side to side to see if Naruto was coming..

"Who's there?" a soft, rather young sounding voice answered softly. If Sasuke hadn't known that the Old Hag looked like a young women he might have thought he had come to the wrong house.

"Your grandchild, Little Orange Riding Hood," replied the wolf, counterfeiting his voice; "I have brought you some homemade cookies from my mother and book for Grandfather."

Grandmother Tsunade, who was in bed because she was somewhat dizzy from last nights drinking party, cried out, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."

Sasuke quickly pulled the bobbin, and the door opened. Then he immediately fell upon the overly strong women and knocked her out. Taking her unconsious body out to her gardening super mega evil shed of death ,or S.M.E.S.O.D. for short, he locked her inside. He then shut the door with so much force it rattled the door jam and got into Tsunade's rather comfy bed.

With all that taken care of Sasuke settled in to wait for the sexy Little Orange Riding Hood, who, after some time came and knocked at the door with a much lighter tap, tap then Sasuke's had been.

"Who's there?" Sasuke called out, trying not to sound too excited.

Naruto, hearing Sasuke's voice rather then his Grandmother like he had expected, was at first a little suspicious, but believing his grandmother had simple left the house for something, answered, "It is Little Orange Riding Hood, from the woods. Where is my Grandmother Tsunade? I have my cookies and book for her."

The wolf cried out to him, "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up. After you come inside I will explain about your Grandmother."

Without pause, Naruto pulled the bobbin up slowly, and the door popped opened.

The wolf, seeing Naruto come in, said to him, "Put the cookies and "Come, Come, Paradise" upon the stool by the kitchen counter, and come get into bed with me."

Little Orange Riding Hood frowned at the wolf's strange request. Why would he want him to get into the bed with him? Still the boy figured it must be the reason why his Grandmother had left so suddenly and, without further ado, hopped up on the big queen sized bed.

Naruto was greatly amazed to see how the wolf looked at him. It was almost like…he wanted to eat him. Naruto couldn't help but shudder softly…and not in a bad way.

"Sasuke? Why is a wolf like you inside my Grandma's house?" Naruto asked scooting a bit away from the large wolf.

"She had to go out," Sasuke said to the blue eyed blond. "But she said that I should make sure to take good care of you while she was gone."

Sasuke shifted even closer to the blond, enjoying the small shiver that ran down the other boys spin.

"Would you like me to take good care of you Naruto?" Sasuke asked smirking.

"Maybe…what kind of care are we talking about…Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, unable to make eye contact with the other boy. Naruto couldn't even believe he was talking like this.

"Would like me to tell you? Or maybe I should just show you instead?"

"Oh my Sasuke, what big arms you have!" Little Orange Riding Hood said as Sasuke sat down right next to the blond boy. Really did these lines ever change? No, not even in a FanFiction.

"All the better to hug you with, my dear Naruto." Sasuke replied with a ever growing leer.

"And what big legs you have, Sasuke!" Naruto said leaning closer to the black haired wolf.

"All the better to chase you with, my sweet." Sasuke leaning in as well.

"Sasuke, what big ears you have!" Naruto was now close enough to feel Sasuke breath on his face

"All the better to hear with, Naruto." Sasuke was itching to close the last couple inches that separated the boys.

"Sasuke, what big eyes you have." Naruto almost whispered looking at the wolf's, his wolf's, lips.

"All the better to see with, my child." Sasuke leaning in until his lips were only a breath way from Naruto's lips.

"Sasuke, what big teeth you have got…" Naruto continued almost breathlessly. He couldn't help but wonder if Sasuke tasted as good as he looked.

"All the better to eat you up with." And, saying these words, this very, very wicked wolf fell upon Little Orange Riding Hood, and had his oh so wicked way with him.

Please rate the story or I will be forced to drag you to the pits of Tarturous where those who read and not rate belong. This is the first FanFiction I have ever written so please be nice!!!