Sooo this is my very first fanfiction.. and yeah I really don't know why I uploaded it because noone's gonna read it anyway O.o

Well the story popped in my head when I was lying in bed and couldn't sleep. What would have happened if Joker hadn't interrupted.. aah I still hate him for that -.- I finally decided to upload it after I finished my .. ehm I don't know .. fourth playthrough (and for me that's much) of Mass Effect today..soo yeah have fun with it :).. if that's even possible..

Mass Effect doesn't belong to me. ....meeehhh...

He was just standing there. Standing where he always stood, in front of his yellow-flickering screens and trying not to think about the woman that sat just a few meters away from him. She was leaning against the lockers, her arms wrapped around her legs and her head resting on her knees.

He had to suppress the urge to walk straight to her and cheer her up. But that wouldn't be an appropriate gesture for a lieutenant. He was sure that Shepard wouldn't appreciate it and that made him somehow sad.

He still tried not to look at her but it was not easy for him and so he saw the tear that suddenly rolled down Shepards cheek. Without thinking about it he walked straight to her and kneed in front of her stroking her cheek with his hand. She sobbed quietly and lay her hand on Kaidan's.

"Hey what's wrong?" he asked softly. She looked up to him and smiled weakly "I .. I don't know.. this whole Saren.. Reaper .. Council.. and save the whole galaxy stuff is just too much.. sometimes I just don't know how to continue and I don't know what to expect next.. it's just really frustrating...really frustrating..." she sobbed again "and .. and on top of it all there's you.."

Before she could explain anything Kaidan shrieked an octave higher than normal "What? What did I do to you?? I.. I.. don't understand.."

His pulse rushed and he gave her an irritated glare. "God Kaidan.. calm down.. I was just about to explain it to you.. don't get me wrong again ok? Just listen.. please.."

"Ok I will do my best." was all he could say. "Look Kaidan", she stroked over his hand that still rested on her cheek "I really really like you , but.." , "I'm just a good friend to you, right?" He continued her sentence and stood up wanting to hide behind his computer screens again. But Shepard was faster and caught his wrist pulling him back to her. "No you idiot.. I said you should listen." He stared down at her but his expressions were relaxing "Then what do you want to say?" His question came out a little to harsh than he wanted to.

"Lets just begin where I ended.. so Kaidan I really really like you but" she breathed in "but I'm afraid it's more than that" , her heart began to pound faster "It's more than just sympathy and flirting.. you're very important to me Kaidan.. but this whole save the galaxy thing doesn't make it easy for me to think clearly..and there are rules against it.. and not being able just to be with you like that.. or just to.. " kiss you she ended the sentence in her thoughts. Kaidan's hand was on Shepards cheek again and he was stroking it softly "Shepard everything is gonna be alright.. you're gonna make it ... even if it sounds cheesy ... but I believe in you."

He smiled at her and stood up ."And now enough of that crying.." He offered her a hand and lifted her up.

They both had put too much power in their movements and so they crashed against each other. Shepard had her hand on Kaidan's shoulder and he had his hand on her waist. It was an awkward situation and when Shepard slowly came closer Kaidan's heart was about to explode. When she was just inches away from his lips she mumbled "Fuck the rules." Then her lips crushed against his. They both put so much passion in the kiss that it made them breathless for a moment. He let his tongue slide over the scar on her upper lip and fully enjoyed it. Her arms were around his neck and his hand was at her back slowly trailing down to her belt so that his fingertips were under her shirt and he could feel her smooth skin.

Kaidan broke the kiss just to breathe but placed his lips immediately at her neck and kissed her slowly. "We really shouldn't do this, you know?" As an answer he just became a satisfied "Mmmmmmmm .." "I'm serious Shepard" "Mmmmmm sure you are." She smiled and let her finger tips ran up and down his neck.

He stopped kissing her neck and wanted to kiss her on her mouth again before a familiar voice interrupted them. "Sorry to interrupt Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson. He wants to meet you in the Flux, this club down by the wards." "Thanks Joker." Shepard replied pissed.

Then she returned her full attention to Kaidan. She locked her eyes with his and just smiled. Kaidan could look in her eyes forever, they were of a bright green and he just loved them , like everything about Shepard. "You know we have to go." He sighed. "Ok,Commander." He didn't like the fact that they just had so little time with each other but he was sure he could get a chance to talk to her later. "Just one thing.", he mumbled and then he kissed her like before.

I hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't that bad... sorry for my crappy english.. but what can I say.. I'm from Germany -.- ... and please.. if there's rellay anyone who read the story and liked it.. pleeeaaaseee let me know :) I have already four or five chapters on my computer o.O too much time..