Although I hate Sweets, these are fun...
New ones will be sporadic. Who knows how long I'll be doing these? All one-shots, all self-contained. All meant to be funny.
Laugh, then review!
"Why Therapy Isn't the Right Word"
Click. Click. Click.
Thump.
Click. Click. Click.
Thwap!
Click. Click. Cli—
"Goddamnit, Booth!"
Click.
Hard rib-jab.
"Ow!"
Silence.
Pause.
Click. Click. Click.
Exhalation to the left.
Tap. Click. Click. Tap. Click.
Thump!
"Booth, you do that one more time..."
"Hehe. You sound like that woman from Chicago."
"Yeah. And the story's going to end like that too."
Silence.
Another exhalation.
"Are we done yet?"
Two eyes flick over. "We haven't started yet."
"Why?" her voice is sharp.
"Agent Booth has yet to be quiet."
"Well, I was being quiet. I refuse to be penalized for my partner's actions."
"That's how this exercise works."
Exhalation from the left.
Silence.
Click. Click. Click.
Thump.
Click. Click. Click.
"I'm starting to understand why you haven't given me a gun."
"And why is that?"
"She wasn't talking to you, Sweets."
"Agent Booth, we can extend this exercise if you like."
Silence.
Clic—
"I will take your gun out of your holster and shoot you if you don't stop clicking your pen."
"Now, now, Dr. Brennan. Let's try to keep our tempers in-check."
"Stop talking to me as if I'm infantile, and I swear to god, Booth, I will crack that pen."
"Yeah, right, Bones."
"I will."
"Will not."
"Of course I will. I am not going to sit here and listen to you click that pen again."
Silence.
Finger tapping.
Exhalation from the right.
Click.
"That's it."
"Hey, wai—"
The pen is grabbed.
He swats for it.
She holds it out of his reach.
Pieces of the pen begin falling to the ground.
"Bones!" he tries to grab for it.
Her heels crush a piece. It's the inkwell. She picks it up and hands it to him.
"There you go."
"Bones, that was my only pen."
"I warned you."
"But, I..."
"Don't care."
Silence.
Exhalation on the right.
"Did the exercise start yet, Sweets?"
"No."
Finger tapping.
The inkwell drops to the floor.
Exhalation on the left.
A stress ball is lifted from the table.
Crinkle.
Exhalation from the middle.
Squeak. Crinkle. Squeak. Crinkle. Squeeaaaaa—
The toy is ripped from its holder's hands.
"Bo—"
It is stuffed into the lining on the opposite side of the couch.
Exhalation from the right.
Watch check from the left.
Exhalation from the left.
Foot tapping.
Throat clearing on the left.
"It's never going to get any more quiet than this, Dr. Sweets."
"We'll see, Dr. Brennan."
Sigh.
Uncrossing and recrossing of legs.
Booth's shoes kick a toy off the table as he puts his feet up.
"Agent Booth."
"Deal with it."
"I can keep you here longer."
"If you even try, one of us is going out that window."
"Care to talk about your suicidal tendencies?"
"I'm fairly certain that Booth was implying homicidal tendencies."
"I'm aware, Dr. Brennan."
"Apparently not."
Exhalation from the other side of the table.
Foot tapping.
Exhalation on the left.
She gets up.
Eyes follow her
"I need to use the restroom."
"Take your time, Bones."
Pointed look. Then she's gone.
"The longer she's in there, the longer you stay."
Glare from across the table.
"Shut up, Sweets."
Silence.
The door clicks shut to the left.
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