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The Summoning FanFic (Chapter 40): Derek's POV

Ugh, the pain… I thought. So much. My muscles twitched with the spasms of the change. Why is this happening now? Hair—or more appropriately, fur—was sprouting from my skin then being sucked back under by my refusal. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm still only a kid. I should be at least eighteen before this begins. My body convulsed, spine arching so high I thought it would break. Just like the kid you threw? I growled in frustration. I'm a monster. Since I've been born I've done nothing but hurt people. We've always had to keep moving because of my mistakes, because of what I am. We've had to hide.

I cried out from the pain. My fingers were no longer the flesh-covered appendages I was used to but more like talons, dug into the earth, gripping so tightly, like as long as they had a hold of this sane, familiar earth I wouldn't slip into the unnatural form that shouldn't even be scientifically possible. As for physically, my body was screaming that that shouldn't be possible either, yet it was still shifting, no matter how much pain it caused, how much I begged for it to stop.

My back arched again, and a fountain of vomit spewed from my mouth. I wanted to die. The pain was too unbearable. Besides, wouldn't it be better that way? A kid can't walk because of me. Because I lost control of my stupid strength. And Chloe. She was so scared of me at first. I don't even know if she's completely forgiven me for when I lost control near her… throwing her across the room… I whimpered. I could hear all of them getting up, getting ready to leave, to run. I moved farther back into the shadows of the shed, praying they wouldn't find me. I started coughing and I'm pretty sure I saw some blood start coming up with the barf as well.

They started talking inside but I couldn't listen. There was only one thing my focus was on and that was this change. My face had started deforming by now, elongating into a snout-like thing. I was sweating profusely and the stench rolling off of me didn't help my gagging. My hair was plastered to my face from all the sweat. Once again, I convulsed, my body clenching then stretching to its limits. It stops but only for a few seconds at a time. Now was one of those times, thank god. I got a breather but only just barely before they started again. I let out a moan as I felt puke sliding up my throat once more.

Footsteps. They were coming out here. I let out a low growl that only I could hear. The plan was to go out the front, not the back. Easier and less conspicuous that way. Unless it wasn't to leave. I growled once more but it was choked off by my moan of agony that, thankfully, disappeared with the creaking sound of the trees. If Simon was looking out here for me I was going to be pissed. He's not following the plan and I can't let him see me like this, like the monster. I should have paid attention to what they were saying so that I could know which one it was. I could hear a car engine rev out front and decided that it must have been the first option. They had to come out the back because someone was out front.

I scooted a little bit farther in the shadow again and waited to hear them hop the fence but that sound never came. Wait. I could only hear one pair of footsteps. Had Ms. Abdo noticed so soon? No. The steps were too light to belong to a nurse, not enough weight behind them. I struggled to pay attention and not focus on the ache threatening to rip me apart. I couldn't get a scent since the wind was blowing away from me. I listened even farther and could hear two sets of steps retreating.

Simon and Rae.

But where was Chloe?

The icy breeze came at me for a moment, a pleasant relief from my raging fever, and it was just enough for me to get a scent. Chloe's here. Why? Why didn't she leave with the others? My muscles bunched once more and I let out a cry that ended in a moaning, partially lost in the wind, but, sadly, not cutting off in time. Chloe had heard me. I tried staying quiet but failed to a cough that I couldn't keep in. She ran my direction right when I heaved once more.

"Derek? It's Chloe," she whispered. I can't let her see me like this. She'll run, like everyone else would, like she should.

"Go away," I growled. It was hard to talk with the agony and spasms. She took a step closer and I turned my head a fraction of an inch more away. I could hear my breathing and knew it was ragged and shallow.

"Simon's gone. I convinced him to go on ahead while I found you," she told me. My muscles gathered and tightened in a pain that had me grunting. I didn't want her to see me like this. Bad enough about my "puberty smackdown," as she'd called it. But now she has to see me with uncontrollable muscles and puke on my face, too? Great. Oh, and I can't forget that this is happening because I'm transforming into some giant, ugly, brute of a dog.

"You found me. Now go." Please go.

"You really think I'd leave you like this?" she said, stepping closer, yet again. I heard a slap but I didn't know what it was from. "If you're throwing up, that's more than a fever. You need—"

"Go!" I snapped, more growl than actual words. She stepped back, like she might actually listen to me. I dropped my head again, barely strong enough to stay up on all fours. I glanced at my arm and could see the muscles literally rippling like waves beneath my skin, fur still barely emerging.

"Derek, I—"

She stopped speaking at the sight of my back steepling from an outburst. The muscles clenched and tightened worse than they have so far. I had my teeth clasped as tight as they would go. I didn't want Chloe hearing me bitch. She might go get Simon or someone else and I can't let someone who doesn't know see me. When it ended, my body sagged with relief, my breathing shallower than ever. It just kept getting worse and worse.

"Please," I mumbled, too weak to open my mouth all the way. "Go."

"You need help—"

"No!" I growled, cutting her off. I can't be exposed.

"Simon, then. I'm getting Simon. I'll be right—"

"No!" I snarled again. I glanced at her, hoping to let my glare do the talking like it always does. But then I remembered my misshapen face and turned away.

Of coarse my body had to gag once more, but there wasn't really much left to up-chuck. My back shot up again and this time I could hear my own bones cracking. Each time, it was even more torture, more agony. The clouds chose that moment to move and make me visible by the moon. I new she could see me clearly now, clearly for what I was, but I couldn't move because of the muscle contraction. I couldn't control myself and I couldn't stand it. I felt just like I had when I was trying to save Simon or when I was just trying to talk to Chloe. I'm out of control. I'm a beast. A dangerous beast.

My head whipped back and I couldn't keep the wolf contained any longer. He howled, although in my current state it was more of a moaning, hiss thing. I gagged again, but nothing was left so only spit escaped.

"Derek?" Chloe asked. I convulsed and racked with heaves, but again nothing came out. She came towards me again but I turned away. How could she come near me still with what she's seen? She should run—I peeked over at her feet—but she wouldn't.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked me. Yeah, run, I thought. "Is there anything I can do?" she repeated.

"Go away," I told her. I didn't have the strength to say a sarcastic remark like I normally would have done. But I don't think I even wanted to make one. I should continue to tell her to go, to leave, to get as far away from me as possible like I had been saying since she got out here. But I didn't want to. I wanted someone to stay, to accept me. I don't know if she truly understood what I was or if she truly even accepted. But she appeared to be trying. She didn't cower like anyone else would have done. She didn't have that look of fear in her eyes that had so consumed the nurses that took care of me—if you could even call it that—so many years ago. And they hadn't even really seen what I was. They just knew. Knew what I would become. Sure Dad and Simon accepted me. But it's different when it's someone outside of us, outside of our family. No, the look in her eyes held no fear, only worry. Worry for me.

And I was scared.

I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I didn't want to have to go through this alone like I had everything else in my life. I didn't even know why I was changing so early or if it was supposed to be this painful. Dad had talked a little about the change but he couldn't let me know everything about it, having not experienced it himself. Mostly he just said that he would be here to help when it happened. But he wasn't. And I didn't want to do this by myself.

I was scared.

I needed her to stay.

"Don't," I rasped while still repeatedly tensing, fingers digging into the ground even farther. "Go."

"I can't leave you here." I felt better hearing those words. "If there's anything I can do…" she trailed off, expecting me to fill in the blanks. She must have misunderstood what I said.

"Don't," I said, but had to take a bigger breath so that I could get the words out together. "Don't go," I finally said. I lifted my head just enough to look her in the eyes but then I started losing control again. That was, of coarse, another reason I was scared. But… does anyone like being out of control? I braced my self, trying to tense my arms and legs but only moderately succeeding because of the trembling.

And I guess I had been wrong earlier, about not having anything left to throw up. I guess I just hadn't been fully gagging, because now I heaved up so much more than I thought I could. Maybe my scarfing everything in sight wasn't such a good idea. Well it's not like I could help it. I didn't know I was going to shift nor did I have a choice about how fast my metabolism was.I could smell the vomit everywhere. All around me were nasty smells that I didn't have any power over and it made me feel a bit guiltier about making Chloe stay with me.

She came over after a few seconds and put her hand on my arm, the cool making me shiver but it felt so good on my boiling skin. I knew she could feel my coarse pelt pulsing through my skin and this was the first time in my life that I wished I could know what someone was thinking. She couldn't help me, but she was here, which meant more to me than anything. She couldn't make the spasms stop, or kill the endless flow of puke, but she wanted to. I could tell that she wished she could and I don't think it was just because it repulsed her either. I think she might actually care about me. Don't let things go to your head, Derek, my annoying inner voice told me. She's just that kind of person. She cares what happens to everyone. You're not special. I knew my inner voice was right but I didn't want to think about it right now.

I was amazed that I could think of anything at the moment since the only thing still coming up was bile and it was burning my esophagus. I hurled one last time, so violently that I thought everything, all of my guts and origins, were going to come up. The bile flew so far that it hit the fence some feet away.

Then it stopped.

Everything.

I sagged to the side and covered my face with my hands. The fur had stopped pulsing, my muscles stopped bunching, and I stopped vomiting. The only thing that was different after all of this was that I still had a bit of a snout and claws. Everything else, though, had stayed the same. I pulled my knees up to my chest in a fetal position and moaned completely weak, worn out.

"Should I—?" Chloe began. "Simon. Should I get Simon? Will he know what to—?"

"No." My voice was rough, strained. "It's over." I paused. "I think. Pretty sure." I rubbed my face thinking. How is this possible? Why did it even happen? Eighteen. Dad told me so. He also told me I was different. Why else would my brothers and I have started out as we did? "Shouldn't have happened. Not yet. Not for years," I mumbled. "Go," I told her. "I'll be fine now." I really didn't want her to leave but she was supposed to go with Simon and Rae. I wouldn't want her to be left behind to go on her own. She'd probably get lost and blow it. Stop being so mean. You know she's good on her own. Maybe a little jumpy, but she's tough. Yeah, she is, I told my inner voice. But she still needed to go.

"I'm not—"

"Chloe," I snapped. "Go. Help Simon. Tell him I'm fine." Knowing him, he's probably having a fit.

"No." What? Why would she want to stay with me?

"Chloe…" I growled her name.

"Five minutes. I want to make sure you're okay." I snorted. Make sure I was okay. Yes, because making sure the monster's okay is such a priority. Well, maybe on her list. I couldn't deny that I liked her checking on me, though. It was nice to have someone care.

"See you did rip out of your clothes. Hope you didn't like that shirt, 'cause it's toast," she said, trying to make light of my situation. I appreciated the effort.

"Least I didn't turn green," I replied, going along with our inside joke. I smiled beneath my hands.

Just then, I heard the back door launch open. Shit! Why weren't you listening! I thought, as I shot up, ignoring the tenderness of my muscles. I glanced at Chloe and noticed she was staring at me, but I couldn't afford to be self-conscious now. Who knew who that could be? Chloe turned away and inched toward the corner of the shed. I grabbed her leg to stop her. What was she doing?

"I'll be careful. I'm just getting a look," she whispered. Reluctantly, I let go. She slid across the grass, to the edge, and peeked around. I tried to catch the scent but, again, the wind was blowing the other way. The flashlights beam roamed across the yard.

"A woman," she said, barely louder than a breath. "I think it's Rae—no, too skinny." Rae was long gone with Simon so I knew it wasn't her. "Ms. Abdo, maybe?" I reached up and grabbed her on the ankle, my hand wrapping around her bare skin.

"Go. I'll boost you over the fence. Climb the next one and—"

"Whose out there?" called the voice, which I now recognized to be Dr. Gill's. Her flashlight continued to travel the length of the yard.

"Dr. Gill," said Chloe, not thinking I could already know. "What's she—?"

"Never mind. Go!" I told her.

"I know someone's out here," Dr. Gill said. "I heard you."

Chloe looked at me, a considering look on her face, a slightly worried look. She grabbed my shoe, which had fallen off in my rush to get outside earlier, and kicked off one of hers. What is she doing? She twisted from my grasp and dashed to the edge of the shed, where she squeezed between it and the side fence. I leaped at her but she was already too far in and I couldn't reach her.

"Chloe! Get back here! Don't you dare—" but she was gone.

I had a hunch about what she was doing.

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