AN: Short and sweet. #4 in The Great One-Shot Expulsion series...

Disclaimer: I do not own the television show Scrubs. I do not own the characters of the television show Scrubs.

Hugh Laurie Knows Lupus:

"Newbie, it's lupus."

"Doctor Cox, he's only showing a few symptoms. It can't be—"

"If you contradict me again, Carol, I'm going to have to flick your ear like the bad little puppy you are. And trust me, it's gonna hurt. My finger's been a-itchin' to flick something all day."

"But Doctor Co- Ow!"

"I warned you, Newbie. Bad! Bad!"

"Perry, I'm telling you it's not lupus."

"And how could you possibly know that?"

"Because it's never lupus."

"...Clarabelle, you are aware that Hugh Laurie isn't a real doctor, aren't you?"

"He's got such a bitchin' cane...Ow!"

"Newbie, it's lupus."