Disclaimer: If Axis Powers Hetalia were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.

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Minimal fluff 09!

Summary: The Vargas twins, Feliciano and Romano, start on a little roadtrip before starting collage when a little setback leaves them stranded on the side of a highway. Willing to hitchhike half the way, they meet the devious Bad Company Trio: France, Spain, and Prussia! Will they manage to get along with these three, or will they be forced to part ways? Remember, a roadtrip isn't a roadtrip without a bit of sexual tension! Pairings include: one-sided Spain/Italy leading to Spain/Romano, France/Canada, Prussia/everyone including himself, and cameos of other pairings (USUK, Giripan, etc…)

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The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking 1

Had Feliciano been wearing a revealing top, a skirt short enough to be illegal in a handful of countries, and three inch stilettos, perhaps he might have painted a sexy picture in the middle of the deserted highway. Still, he persisted as he waved around a cardboard sign reading WORLD OR BUST, standing on a suitcase and nearly falling off it. No, he was not dressed in womanly clothing but he got as close as he could, decked in a low cut tank top and pink plaid Bermuda shorts. The car, which engine was smoldering a few feet away, had no air conditioning and he had been forced to wear his current clothing. Not that he was complaining, though.

"I'm telling you, you idiot, there's not going to be anyone driving around this damn desert place any time soon. Let's just take our luggage and go."

"But Romano, the next town could be miles away!" Feliciano turned to his brother, who was sitting a heartbeat away from him in more masculine clothing. The Vargas twins were almost supernaturally identical, if Feliciano was not more bubbly and outgoing and Romano was more high maintenance and insulting. "And I don't think we can walk that far!"

Romano groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I knew this was a bad idea. Not only would I be carted around this damn road trip with you of all people but the damn car rental couldn't give us a sports car. I knew we were doomed."

"We didn't have enough to actually go on the road trip if we spent all our money on that Ferrari," Feliciano mused, not pausing in waving his sign side to side as if he were a cheerleader.

"What should we do if no one comes? We didn't even bring any food."

"What should we do? I don't think you taste good, Romano."

"I would not kill myself for you to eat, you cannibal!"

"Ve~ I was only kidding…" It wasn't looking very pleasant for the two; they were stranded in a particularly hot part of the highway, in an almost movie-like setting – vast desert with a tumbleweed here and there with plateaus in the distance. In fact, if he wasn't hungry and sweating, Feliciano could almost pretend he was a spy in an espionage flick Romano would never watch with him. He didn't know this part of the world had places like this, but then again, there were a lot of things he didn't know about the world.

"Car!" Romano screeched, breaking Feliciano out from his train of thought. Indeed, there was a vehicle speeding down the highway toward them. Feeling a surge of energy, Feliciano waved his sign even more energetically and Romano had leapt to his feet as well. The car, a rather rundown van doohickey thing, was basically flying down the road as if speed was not an issue, nor was stopping. "Jump in front of it," Romano ordered, shoving his little brother onto the highway. "It won't run you over."

"But it's going so fast!" Feliciano cried, holding the sign in front of him like a shield. The car started to stop, although the tires seemed to emit sparks doing so. There was a loud shout coming from one of the rolled down windows and a head poked out of the passenger seat, along with the torso belonging to that head. Red eyes below a mop of snowy white hair kept contact with Feliciano as he shouted something incomprehensible to the driver. The car continued its crash course toward the younger Vargas brother and even Romano was starting to doubt his words.

Then the van, the color of rust and dirt combined, came to a screeching halt as it skidded past Feliciano. Giving a lurch forward due to velocity, the man hanging out the window nearly fell out but quickly slipped back into the car. The driver backed the car until it was adjacent to Feliciano, who had since stopped his panic attack after the threat to his life passed.

"Hi!" he chirped as the driver's window rolled down. "My name is Feliciano Vargas, and this is Romano, my brother. Our car went kablooey and we're kind of stranded here. Can you give us a ride to the next town so we can get help? Thank you kindly, stranger!"

The driver, a dirty blonde with just a hint of stubble on his chin, smiled back. "Well, hello there, sweetheart! We'd love to give you two a ride but there is no town nearby. We're heading toward the city, though. Is that okay?"

"We were heading for the city too! We were supposed to go on a cross country road trip but then our car went crazy so that's our story!" Still holding the sign as if it was his lifeline, Feliciano grinned. Romano, who had been watching to see if the occupants of the car were or were not crazed rapists who would grab his brother and run, finally walked up to him and smacked him across the head. "You idiot, why would you tell them all that?"

"They're going to help us, so why wouldn't we tell them?"

The driver laughed. "Well, you got us there! We're going on a road trip ourselves! I know we just met, but would it be weird to ask if we could join forces and combine road trips?"

"That is weird," Romano insisted, but Feliciano spoke louder. "That would be great!"

"Magnifique! That's your luggage over there, right?" he asked, gesturing to the three suitcases lying about on the desert floor. "Go get those and throw them in the back."

"We're going to leave the car?" Feliciano asked anxiously.

"Sweetie, I think the car's a lost cause."

"Don't call my brother…" But before Romano could chide the flashy driver, Feliciano had pulled him away to get their bags. "Feliciano!" he hissed as they got out of earshot from the car. "What were you thinking? Accepting a ride from total strangers! What if they take us somewhere shady, rape us, and leave us for dead? You and your dumb naïve brain! We don't know who they are!"

"I'm sure they won't do anything bad," Feliciano assured him, pulling a suitcase upright. "I have a feeling. I think they're good people!"

"They were speeding down a highway, Feliciano. I don't like this at all."

"Come on, Romano. If they do anything, we make a fuss and jump out of the car. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Fine, but if they do rape us and leave us for dead, I told you so." Pulling along the remainder of the bags, Romano followed his brother back onto the road, leaving the still steaming car behind them. The albino who had been hanging out the window was waiting for them in the back.

"You guys travel kind of heavy, don't you?" he asked, staring at the three suitcases. "I don't mind though." Throwing the trunk doors open, he revealed the back of the car which had no wall dividing it from the rest of the car. There was another person in the car, but neither twin could really see him/her since he/she had leaned forward to discuss something with the driver. Prussia grabbed their bags and flung them into the space in the back. There was not much in the back except for a ratty mattress, a thin blanket, some rope, a pickax, and a flashlight. Romano glared at his brother, who pretended not to notice.

"You guys didn't bring anything?" Feliciano instead asked. The albino turned to him with a grin.

"We don't like to travel heavy. And anyway, this road trip of ours was kind of out of the blue so we just took off. We'll figure everything out when we get to wherever we go to!" Slamming the doors shut, he led the twins over to the side of the car. "You'll have to sit in the back with Spain, sorry. There's no room in the front."

"It's okay," Feliciano said cheerfully, opening the side door. There was another person, around the ages of the driver and the albino man climbing into the passenger seat. He was smiling up a sun, his brown eyes looking excited under a mop of messy dark hair. Feliciano smiled back, climbing onto the seat next to him. When he saw that Romano hadn't come onto the car as well, he turned to tell his brother that all was fine, he hadn't been ravished yet so it should be fine.

Romano's face was flushed, his green eyes wide as he looked at Spain. Wondering what on earth was wrong, Feliciano reached over and grabbed his brother's wrist. "Come on, Romano. What're you waiting for?"

"Don't grab me," Romano snapped, pulling away, still red. "I can get into the car by myself." Proving his point, he slipped into the seat and pulled the door closed.

"And we're off!" the albino shouted, pointing forward. At once, the driver floored the gas and they shot forward. The twins did as well, Feliciano wedging himself between the driver and passenger seat as Romano hit the passenger seat full on.

"You two should wear your seat belts," the dark haired young man said helpfully, Helping Feliciano ease back into the seat. "France drives kind of…fast."

"Thanks!" Feliciano chirped, as he heard Romano mutter, "Late warning," to himself as they strapped themselves in. "So," the younger Vargas brother said, still sounding optimistic, "you know our names. What are yours?"

"Have we forgotten to introduce ourselves?" the driver asked, taking his eyes off the road to turn around. The car swerved and his turned back to the highway. "We apologize! My name is France, this albino wolf next to me is Prussia, and the guy next to you is Spain!"

"Why do you call yourselves after countries?" Romano asked. "Some weird fetish?"

"That would be a weird fetish," Prussia agreed, leaning back so his entire upper body was turned to them. "So let me, awesome me, tell you a thing or two. Are you guys still in school?"

"Starting our first year of collage late," Feliciano answered, nodding. "We decided to take a road trip after high school and start collage one year later."

"Cool! We're skipping our second year for this shebang. We figure, what the hell, we already suffered through our first year, and the next three years should be hell too, right? A vacation can't possibly hurt."

"So you guys are just lazy," Romano summarized.

"Wrong!" Prussia sang. "But that's not what I'm telling you about. Have you heard about the battle of succession for Austria back in the day? The three countries who were so badass to band together against it were France, Prussia, and Spain! So, since we're badass enough to attack everything together, our nicknames are from the Bad Company Trio. We conned that name too."

"We've been friends since we were in diapers," France added. "Well…I guess I should also mention my real name is Francis, so it wasn't a hard decision which one I would be."

"Right, and my parents are from Germany, specifically the eastern part. And since Prussia was, formerly, the eastern part of Germany, so that's me! I'm Gilbert by the way, but really, call me Prussia."

"My actual name is Antonio, but since I'm Spanish, I'm Spain," explained Spain. "We three have basically gone through primary, middle, and high school together and somehow got into the same university! So the Bad Company Trio's stood the test of time."

"That's really cool," Feliciano said, giving Spain a sparkling smile, who flushed slightly and grinned back.

"No, it's juvenile," Romano grumbled. "You three really are bad company." He would have sulked and looked out the window, but as the van was the 'stake-out-and-stalk' type, the only windows came from the front and the front side doors. Prussia stared at him for a moment.

"You're grumpy," he said finally, sticking his tongue out at Romano. "I like your brother better."

"A lot of people do," Romano muttered.

"So, Feliciano," Spain started, turning to the younger brother sitting in the middle of the backseat. "What made you decide to go on this road trip?"

"I was included in this process too!" Romano protested, reaching behind Feliciano to smash his hand in Spain's face before the older man got too close to his brother. Feliciano explained as if all was still well.

"Well, after just passing high school, Romano and I got accepted in the same university too. I was sort of spent after taking all those entrance exams and Romano didn't want to go to university that fast yet, so we decided we'd take a road trip to get some experience before starting collage…"

"Experience?" France asked, sounding suggestive. Prussia cackled and Romano smacked his seat. "Not that kind of experience, you perverts!"

"Anyway," Feliciano continued, not looking troubled in the least, "our parents are a complicated mess – our mother died when we were younger and our father travels a lot for his job. So our grandpa Rome takes care of us. Romano kind of takes his name from him."

"What's the story behind that?" France asked. "This Rome guy seems like our type."

Romano rolled his eyes. "He's named after one of the founders of the Roman Republic, Romulus. It's his nickname. Not like you people."

Feliciano pouted, turning to Romano. "Romano, I'm trying to tell them what happened to us! Anyway," he said again, turning back to Spain, who looked eager to hear the story, "we told our plans to Rome and he said it sounded like a good idea. Of course, he didn't go to university so he was okay with us not immediately starting out first year. So we packed up, rented a car since we only have one car and we didn't want to leave Grandpa Rome stranded at home until dad came home, and set off. Then, not even half way to the half way mark, the car stopped and the engine started smoking! Romano said it was dangerous so we left the car and stripped it of everything that belonged to us. I made the sign and we just waited for someone to come along."

France whistled. "What a story! But Feliciano, that's dangerous. You shouldn't accept rides from anyone. You two are so cute, there would be a lot of people willing to take advantage of your positions to do bad things to you!"

"And you three don't fall in that category?" Romano shot back.

"Of course not!"

Spain rested his arm on the back of the seat, as if he had the mind to put it around Feliciano's shoulders. "So where were you two thinking of going?"

"Around and about," Feliciano said vaguely. Spain chuckled, leaning in to study Feliciano's face. "Well, I think it was a good idea for you to go on this roadtrip."

Feliciano glanced at Romano, who was sitting away from them with his arms crossed and a frown on his face. "Oh, but Romano came up with the idea!" he said quickly, grabbing his brother's arm and pulling him closer. "My big brother's really the one who thinks of these things and he goes out of his way to make sure we're okay! So really, he's the one you guys should thank!"

"Don't say stupid things, Feli…" Romano trailed off as Spain cocked his head to study him as well. Feliciano watched the curious way Romano's face seemed to blossom a cute pink whenever Spain looked at him. His brother was pretty easy to read.

"S-stop staring at me, dammit!" Reaching out, Romano punched Spain on the cheek. "It's creepy!"

"Don't scare them, Spain," France chastised.

"They look almost the same," Spain mused, looking at both twins. "Except Feliciano's eyes are much softer and he smiles more and he makes you feel like taking care of him."

"Whoa there, Spain!" Prussia shouted from the front as he unwrapped a map. "Scouting out our territory, aren't we? What're we going to do with the other twin then? I don't want him!"

"Jackass," Romano snarled, reaching forward to slap Prussia upside the head. France laughed.

"I don't mind a bit of a struggle. I like the hard-to-get ones." Romano growled at that as well, and reached forward to slap him as well when Spain's hand shot out and grabbed his.

"Don't. France gets distracted easily and I don't want us all to end up in a ditch." Feliciano smiled to himself as he watched Romano's eyes wander from Spain's hand, which was holding his, to the man himself before pulling and turning away to hide his face.

"Don't say that, Prussia," Feliciano chimed up. "If no one takes Romano, I'll take him."

This time, both France and Prussia whistled. "Twincest!" Prussia cheered, crumpling the map as a lost cause. "I like that!"

"Shut up, Feliciano!" Romano cried, putting a stranglehold on said twin, who giggled and whimpered at the same time.

"I'm sorry to break up this party," France announced, speeding forward (apparently their current speed, which was almost breakneck, wasn't the fastest the car could go?), "but it seems we've reached our destination. Little town, look out!"

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"That was fun!" Feliciano collapsed on the motel room bed. The five had noisily ate dinner at a diner nearby and crashed at a cheap motel, where they rented two rooms for the night. Personally, the younger Vargas brother didn't know how France, Prussia, and Spain, who were bigger than they were, could share a small room with two beds. He would have offered to share their room, but he didn't think Romano could forgive him for that. "See? Aren't you glad we rode with the Bad Company Trio?"

"Don't encourage them," Romano groaned, sprawling on his bed. "They are the worst."

"Don't be like that!" Feliciano protested, sitting up. "France is a nice guy. He offered to give us a ride and he was super nice to us. Prussia is kind of loud, but I think he's a nice guy too. And Spain is nice too! I knew they were all nice people. And they haven't tried to do anything to us yet, so relax. I think if they were planning something like that, they would have done it already."

"Maybe," Romano grumbled, still looking upset.

"Why? What do you think of them?"

Romano glared at his brother. "If you really want to know," he announced, crossing his arms, "I think France is a big pervert. He calls us 'sweeties' and he hits on anyone who moves. Didn't you see him feel up the waitress? He would have done the same to you too, if I didn't pull you away at the last second! And Prussia is such a rude bastard. He may act all nice to you, but he calls me names and he likes to tease me. What a jerk.

"And Spain is the worst. It's obviously he doesn't like me at all. He looks at me like he feels sorry for me and I hate people who do that. And he smiles all the time! It just pisses me off! I hate him the most."

Feliciano cocked his head before jumping onto Romano's bed ("Oy, idiot!"). "Is that really what you think of him, Romano?" he asked innocently. Romano's face flushed red again.

"Yes. I hate him so much. But you shouldn't be so upset about something like that, Feliciano. He loves you." Romano's frown seemed to intensify and Feliciano threw his arms around his brother in comfort.

"If it makes you feel better," Feliciano said, murmuring into Romano's ear, "I don't like Spain like that." He felt Romano relax slightly in his grip. "So please don't be mad at me."

"I never said I was mad at you, you idiot. Why should I care if Spain likes you, dammit? That's good, cause then he won't bother me at all!" Shoving Feliciano off him, Romano glared at his brother, before letting a small smile poke through his negative exterior. Thanks, he mouthed to keep from actually saying the word. Feliciano smiled, before glomping his brother and showering his face with affectionate kisses.

"Get off, you bastard!"

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"Can you hear anything?"

Prussia pressed his ear against the wall, straining his hearing before sighing and shaking his head. "I can't hear a thing. Either they're sleeping already or these walls are ungodly thick." Sliding back down on the bed, Prussia grinned. He had good reason to do so; in their rock-paper-scissors to decide who would have a bed all to himself, he had won, leaving France and Spain to try and find a comfortable space to sleep in their tiny bed they would be sharing. "But that's a good thing too. They won't be able to hear what we have to say. So I'll ask this, first of all! Which of the twins would you like to fuck?"

"Language!" France gasped, in mock horror. Prussia cackled, obviously pleased with his question.

"As for me," the albino said proudly, slapping a hand on his chest, "I wouldn't mind getting into Romano's hot and bothered pants."

"Really?" Spain raised an eyebrow. "You were teasing him all through the day."

"So? I'd still like to do it."

France laughed. "You think he'd let you do it? He was practically threatening you with arson before we separated into our rooms."

"I doubt he'll be complaining much when I…"

"Stop," France warned, although he looked on the verge of laughing. "No one wants to hear that." The dirty blonde (in more ways than one) turned to Spain. "But I can guess who Spain would choose. Little Feliciano, right?"

"Yes!" Spain's face lit up and Prussia covered his face ("The light! The light!"). "Romano's okay, I guess, but Feliciano's really cute, don't you two agree? I think I like him a lot."

"Yeah, but he's nothing," Prussia countered. "He'd leap into bed with you in a second. Romano wouldn't go down without a broken bone."

"Masochist."

"Shut up, France. What about you?"

France pondered this. "I'm going to have to settle on Feliciano. As much as I would love to subdue Romano myself, I think it would be a lot more fun with the little brother."

"Ha!" Prussia pumped an arm in the air. "You two can duke it out while you sleep! I have a good-to-go sign and I'm taking that and flying!"

"Relax," France said, smiling slightly. "Although I'm not sure about Feliciano, I'm pretty sure your sweet little Romano's got his eyes on someone else already."

Both Prussia and Spain stared at him. "Who?!" Prussia shouted.

France grinned mischievously. "I'm not telling! But please, there's not much competition."

Prussia stared at him. "You!" he shouted, pointing accusingly at France. "Or you!" he shouted again, moving his finger to Spain. "Or maybe you're just screwing with me! Or it's me!" Prussia pointed at himself. Smiling proudly to himself as if Romano had already confessed to him, he slipped under the covers. "Sweet dreams, suckers!"

"Night, Prussia," Spain and France replied at the same time. They had since gotten used to these self-centered outbursts that made Prussia who he was. It was sort of endearing…once you got used to them.

To be continued

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Note: Itacest? Ha. Shall I continue? Review, and I'll do so accordingly!