Disclaimer: Owned by Stephenie Meyer. Played with by Jexena
Explanations
EPOV
Today was not going to be a good day. I had done absolutely everything in my power to stop Bella from asking about Alice's visions. However, she always seemed to be with her when they came. So she was well aware that something was happening, therefore, I was not looking forward to today. We had been trying to buy ourselves time since the beginning since the visions were only coming in short clips and fragments. There was never enough detail the only thing we knew for certain was that it had to do with the Volturi and Bella. That was the excuse I was telling myself anyway.
I needed a way to buy us time though. We were counting down the days till Bella's change and I was now just as anxious for it as Bella was. I just really wanted her to graduate first though. Once she did she would be the only one of us, other than Esme, to have a human graduation to carry around with her forever. That is the hardest and most important after all, or so I thought.
However, with Alice's visions almost completely solidified now it seemed that we may be cutting it close here. I couldn't allow myself to think like that though. I needed to think positively for my love.
Yet her ability to be overly observant had trapped me into now explaining the chaos we had hoped she hadn't noticed. On top of that, I would also have to make up for the lies I tried to get her to swallow last night. We really should have known better about trying to keep any of this from though, this is Bella after all.
My phone rang, bringing me out of my thoughts. I brought the phone to my ear before the second ring, answering it as calmly as I could.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Edward. I saw that you are planning on letting Bella know what is going on today."
"Something like that, why did you see something?" I asked Alice with hope.
"Yes, and I think that it would be in your best interest to bring her to the house and tell her with the entire family."
"What possible difference could there be?" I asked her. I didn't think it would make that much of a difference and knowing Bella she would think of the drive home as more time for me to think up a way to get out of this.
"Well, I am pretty sure that you are aware that Bella is a very observant person."
"Yes," There was absolutely no way to keep my eyes from rolling that was a completely stupid thing to say.
"And that she knows that there is something big going on."
"Yes," Once again she was just stating the complete obvious. Because if she hadn't noticed we would still have time.
"And that she knows that, at least, the both of us know about it."
"Yes," Why in the world was she doing this? I wished that she would just get to the point already.
"So it is only fair that I am there also for her to take her anger out on. I would actually feel bad about you having to go through that all by yourself."
"How bad is it?" I asked hesitantly. I hated for Bella to be upset, especially when it was because of something that I did.
"Let's just say that we will need Jasper there. However, as I am sure that you are aware, even his powers don't always work on Bella. But we will need him there nonetheless."
I was sure that she was right - Bella was not really what you would call a pushover she was just the kind of person that liked to try to make everyone else happy first. That is, until it comes to keeping her in the dark. She hated to not be in the know and I did not like to keep things from her. It made me feel like I was lying to her and I would never do that. Not intentionally anyway, yet here I was keeping vital information from her.
So this was it. I would have to take her back to the house so that we could tell her as a family about the visions. I only hoped that we wouldn't get the rest of the family into too much trouble. After all, they had only known about all of this for three days now. But they still knew more than her, before her which I am sure was the point that she would be making.
"When she wakes up I will tell her that we are going home." I told Alice
"I will see you in a few hours then." She said in a happy voice. I could not see how she could be happy when she knew that Bella was about to be very mad at us.
"Have you managed to get us some help?"
"Yes" Alice answered in a clipped tone. "Apparently good news travels fast. However, the fact of it being good or bad news is all in the eye of the beholder."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked unable to keep my voice as calm as I wanted it to be. I really didn't need Bella to wake up during this conversation too.
"You need to calm down, first of all, and secondly, I tried to call Tanya's family first but they said that they would be unable to assist us."
"Why not?"
"We can talk about it when you get home, Edward. You won't be able to keep this from her anyway."
"What are you talking about, Alice?"
"Like I said, we can talk about that later. However, I was able to get us some backup anyway. I called Avery and Esther."
"How did you manage to get a hold of them?"
"Easy, I got the number from Rosalie when I got home. Avery said that they should be here within the week."
"I am just glad that they were willing to come on such short notice. What did you tell them anyway?"
"I just told them that the family was having a little trouble and we were wondering if they would be willing to help us."
"And they just said yes, no questions asked?"
"Avery said that she missed us and wanted to meet the first and only person to turn your head." She added with a giggle.
"So they are coming to get a look at Bella?" I asked skeptically.
"Don't take it like that, Edward." I could hear the anger in Alice's voice. "You know damn good and well that Avery and Esther would not be that way. They just want to meet our newest member and give us a helping hand if they can."
"Okay." I said taking a deep breath. "I am going to let you go Alice." I was only getting more worked up the longer this call lasted. I needed to be calm for Bella.
"I will see you soon Edward. Don't worry you know that everything will all work out in the end. It always has."
"I hate when you say things like that."
"Why?"
"Because you are always right and I will never be able to stop worrying, especially where Bella is concerned."
"I know, but I had to try." She said with another giggle.
"Goodbye, Alice."
"See ya soon, Edward."
As I lay back beside Bella she snuggled back into my side. I heard a contented sigh escape her lips as she squeezed my torso to her. I couldn't help the feeling of loss that came with that unconscious move for soon, she would never sleep again. Then we would just have to find other ways to occupy our time.
I could think of a few already, oddly enough, they still focused on the bed. I had to stop thinking like that though. We still had a couple weeks to go before that kind of thinking was even allowable. Especially after the talk that we had had just the other night. I completely understood where Bella was coming from though and found yet again that she was right in her thinking.
Why is it that I am realizing more and more that Bella is right more often then I am. This is not how it is supposed to be. I am supposed to be able to use my century of knowledge to have the upper hand.
This woman is just too perfect. It had also recently come to my attention that the others are right more often than I am when it comes to our relationship and for once I really don't mind admitting it.
Bella really was made for me.
It is the only explanation that makes any sense. It is kind of like how the Bible says that Eve was created from Adam's rib. Bella was surely created of my stolen heart and soul. How else would everything that has happened be explained?
Our feelings of completeness go beyond everyday mortal or even vampire love. She was surely created of the parts of me that weren't lost until after my excruciating transformation. That is where her strength comes from. It just has to be. How else could she love me as much as she does after all I have done to her if she wasn't already a part of me retuned home.
I was momentarily struck by the self-centeredness of this realization. But something in me just couldn't make the feeling of truth that came with this…epiphany go away. For that is what this must be. It all rang of truth and rightness. I had to be right about us just this once.
I tried to imagine what Bella would think about my epiphany. Would she see it as me trying to say that I own her? That she was my property? That isn't what this meant at all. If anything it meant that she was right all along. That I was the unobservant one of what everything she had ever told me meant.
Should I tell her what had finally become clear to me? Should I keep it to myself? What will she think of me once this information is able to see the faded light of our Forks days?
I was so caught up in my pained debate that I didn't even realize that Bella had awoken right next to me. However, I definitely noticed her kiss to the place where my heart should be beating for her.
"What in the world has that stricken look on your face?" She whispered as she sat up cross-legged to face me. "I know you don't think you are going to get out of telling me what is going on, especially now." I turned my head so that I could look upon her beautiful face.
What could I tell her? Alice already said that I couldn't tell her about the visions here. But if I tell her what I was just thinking … What was I going to say now? I could not lie to her not after last night dodges. So I would have to tell her the truth then. And hope that she understood my meaning.
BPOV
It was a dream. I was certain of it. There was no way that time had gone by that quickly. I was waking from one of the most amazing dreams ever. Edward and I were dancing at our wedding. The song was 'When I Fall In Love' by Nat King Cole and everything was perfect.
As the song came to an end Carlisle tapped Edward on the shoulder.
"Do you mind if I cut in?" He asked Edward as he went to take my hand from him.
Edward looked at him for a moment then nodded and kissed my forehead. As he handed me over to his father I saw him take Esme into his arms. Just then 'Stealing Cinderella' by Chuck Wicks started to play.
"I have waited to have this dance with you for some time now Bella." Carlisle said with a knowing smile on his face. "I guess it is the fact that as a human I was raised to believe in higher powers. But I knew that things would work out for the two of you. I was sure that with all of the healing that you have done for my son there was no way you wouldn't end up together forever."
I blinked at Carlisle. I was at a total loss for words. I was also waiting for the tears to flow but vampires can't cry.
"Thank you Carlisle. I must admit, though I am sure you already know, I was never looking forward to a father/daughter dance. I don't really know why - even after knowing your family - I couldn't get the idea that marriage destroys things out of my head. I should have known better just look at the love that the family holds. We even astound the Volturi. Marcus would probably go crazy if he could be here now to see the bond between us all."
"That is true. But let us not think of them. This is a celebration of my first son and last daughter. I am very happy for the both of you."
"Thank you again. I want you to know that I do love you as a father, and Esme as a mother. I know that I am lucky that I will have the both of you for eternity. It will be my honor to uphold the Cullen image. Even as a Masen." I said with a huge smile and a wink.
"That is very nice to hear." Edward's velvety smooth voice said as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.
Carlisle gave me a kiss on my forehead, just as Edward had done, and I turned to face my husband. The song smoothly changed again into 'I'm Yours' by Jason Mraz. Edward and I swayed to the song as the dream faded.
I was enjoying my klutz free dream self so much that I didn't want to open my eyes. But then I remembered that once I did I would have the real Edward here with me. That was always worth the loss of a beautiful dream plus I would have a chance for it to come true soon enough.
When I opened my eyes I was a little shocked to see such a distraught look on Edward's face. I knew that he didn't want to tell me about the visions that Alice had been having. I also knew that he was only keeping it secret to try to protect me. However, he had to realize that I would be his equal soon. He would have to start getting used to it now.
I slowly turned on my side and pressed a kiss to his heart. He seemed surprised that I was awake. I knew that Edward was a very deep thinker. But it was rare for me to surprise him with my presence. Yet, I had been doing that a lot lately. Just another indication that something was very wrong. I really wish that he would tell me what was going on. I wanted to help so badly. I was so sure that if they were to talk to me I would be able to help.
It wasn't that I thought of myself as some sort of genius mastermind. It was just that they tended to over think their protection of me. If I was able to come up with something this time maybe it would help prove my equality to him. I hopped anyway.
I really couldn't take the look on his face anymore so I spoke to break the silent spell that had overtaken the room
"What in the world has that stricken look on your face?" I tried to keep the sadness out of my voice I don't think it worked though. I sat up to face Edward as I continued. "I know you don't think that you are going to get out of telling me what is going on, especially now." He turned to look at me and I could see the internal debate in his eyes.
Edward was silent for a few more moments. It was obvious that he was battling with telling me something. I watched his eyes as he came to his decision. I waited as patiently as I could. I wanted the truth, and I knew that was hard for Edward.
Not the telling me the truth part. But the relinquishing of information to me that could hurt me or cause me to try to protect the family rather than myself.
"Bella, I think I have just had an epiphany of my own. I am just not sure how you will take it."
"If it is a truth about you or us how could it be bad?"
"It isn't bad, per se." He sighed heavily. What could he possibly think that I wouldn't agree with?
"Edward, just start at the beginning. I doubt it is as bad as you are making it out to be."
"Have you ever read the Bible?" He asked suddenly.
Well that was a strange question. However, maybe his epiphany had finally shown him that he is not as soulless as he previously believed.
"Not cover to cover or anything like that but, yes, Renee did have a brief stint with religion when I was a little girl, so I have read some of the Bible. Why?"
"You know the story of creation then, right?"
"Yes, that is in Genesis chapter one." Where was he going with this?
"You remember the part where it says that God took a rib from Adam and used it to create Eve?" I shook my head yes, even though I was at a complete loss as to what he was trying to say. "What do you think about that?" He then asked with a blank mask of emotion on his face.
"Do you seriously want to get into a religious debate at this time of the morning?" I asked incredulously. What was going through his mind? If he truly believed that this would keep me from finding out about the visions he was highly mistaken.
"Bella, please, I have to know. What do you think about Eve being created from part of Adam?"
"I really do not understand what you are trying to get at." I was also getting a little frustrated with this conversation. He needed to get to the point.
"Please, Bella." He was pleading with me and I really didn't understand why. "Just answer this one question. I need to know if you believe it. Do you believe that one being can be created of another?"
"Yes," I said slowly. "It is called birth. Edward please." I pleaded back. "I really want to know what this is about."
"Okay." He said with a defeated look on his face as he let out another heavy sigh. "I have been thinking a lot lately and it seems to have all come together to mean one thing. I am inclined to believe my findings. However, I worry of what you will think."
"Edward, you are talking in circles. What is this all about?"
"I think… no… I know that Alice is right."
"She has that ability often. What is it exactly that you are agreeing with her about?"
"I believe that we were made for each other." I was speechless. Did he honestly just say that? I mean, he obviously believes that we belong together after all that we have been made to go through. But to actually hear the words come from his beautiful mouth like that. I had no words. Which tuned out to be a good thing as he wasn't done explaining yet.
"More specifically, I believe that you were created for me from my own heart and soul. You see, Bella, they were taken from me by my transformation … in order to create you, to make me whole again when the time was right. Does that make any sense?"
I still could not speak. I hadn't even noticed the tears that I was now crying until they blurred Edward's beautiful, if currently worried, face. How is it that my life altering epiphany is simply that he has always loved me. Yet his is that I was created specifically for him to love using his own heart and soul. He has got to be the most romantic man in existence.
"Bella, love, please don't cry." He said frantically as he wiped away the free flowing tears. "Believe me, this is a good thing. It isn't meant in a controlling way at all. I really just don't know how to explain it correctly."
"Edward," I said shakily as I placed my hand over his mouth to stop his unnecessary rambling. How could this wonderful man think so little of himself, and yet, scold me for thinking less of myself? "That is by far the most romantic thing you have ever said to me and you have said some awfully romantic things before. I am going to hold you accountable to retell me this once I am changed." I said smiling hugely for him.
Edward smiled his beautiful crooked smile for me. I loved the way his eyes lit up when he smiled whole heartedly like now. "You really don't find that statement controlling? You really think it was romantic?"
"Yes Edward. How could that possibly be seen as controlling?"
"I thought, that you would think that I was saying that you belong to me and that you have to obey me."
"First of all, Edward, I do belong to you just as you belong to me. Secondly, no one tells the heart what to do. The heart wants what the heart wants and the rest is made to fall into place. Which, if anything, means that I am the one pulling the strings here." I said as I raised a brow and smiled slyly.
Miraculously Edward's smile grew even more just seconds before he crashed his lips to mine.
"I think that that is another part of my little epiphany that I hadn't noticed. You really are the one in charge here. At least, when I allow myself to follow your lead, we don't end up apart and distraught."
"That is because we are too much alike. I refuse to see you the way you see yourself just as you have never seen me the way I envision myself. We help make each other better people and we help work on each others insecurities to make us even more whole."
"Bella, how ever did you get so wise? I still believe that you will never cease to amaze me and I wouldn't have it any other way."
"I Love you, Edward. I hope that you now realize just how much."
"Come on Love. You still need to take care of your morning duties so that we can go home."
"You are still going to tell me what is going on though right?" I asked losing my smile.
"Of course, I am just going to do it with Alice and Jasper around. I think they will be able to help me explain this all so that you don't get too mad at me." He said with a sheepish grin.
I jumped up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing my toiletries bag and running to the bathroom with my clothes to take a quick shower.
*~* MMO *~*
Alice was so happy to see me, not that she isn't always, but she wouldn't let me go for a full five minutes when we pulled up to the house. I was trying to stop laughing when she kept saying that Edward hogs me too much. I tried to remind her that she had been with me just the day before. However, she kept telling me that that was then and this is now.
Something in the back of my mind was telling me that there was more to her actions, but I just pushed it away. It wasn't like I didn't have enough to think about already.
Once we were all situated in the living room - as it seemed this was going to be a family discussion - I decided that I wasn't really willing to let this secrecy go on any longer.
"So who is going to be the one to tell me what has actually been going on?" I asked the room at large.
"You have to know first, Bella, that we were not leaving you in the dark because of any reason you could possibly be thinking."
"How would you know that, Alice. You don't know what I have been thinking." I asked a little more forcefully than I meant to.
"Bella, we have known you long enough to know the basics of how you would react to most given situations. And as this isn't a new one we are pretty sure we know exactly what you are thinking." Alice said unaffected by my acidic tone. I think she realized that I had a right to be mad at her. But I still felt bad for speaking to them as I had.
"What would that be?" I asked not being able to bite back the sarcasm from my voice even though it was a bit softer than before.
"That we were not telling you because Edward wouldn't let us so that you wouldn't worry about something that he thought you shouldn't be worrying about."
I was completely silent. It would seem they had me pegged to a 'T'. Alice and Jasper started to laugh which got followed up by Emmett, and Edward's slight chuckle. I could tell that he didn't want to upset me more by laughing at me. I squared my shoulders and let out a deep breath.
"Fine, you do have some idea of what I was thinking about this whole situation. But I have come to the point where I just want to know what you have been hiding from me. If you say that it has nothing to do with Edward trying to protect me, then why have you not told me until now. This has been going on for at least the last two weeks, if not longer."
"Bella," Edward said as he turned in his seat to face me. He ran his hand up my arm to rest on the side of my neck. He closed his eyes and seemed to be just taking in the feel of my life force. He then opened his eyes and continued. "I have agreed to tell you what is going on, what we know of it anyway, but you have to agree to hear us out."
"What do you mean by 'what you know of it'?" I asked before Edward could silence me.
"Do you agree?" He asked as if I hadn't said anything. I nodded my head so that I could at least get this information.
"Alice has been getting visions for about a month now." Edward began.
EPOV
'Edward, you need to tell her everything. Just start at the beginning if that will help you but this needs to be taken care of now.' Carlisle was right. I had to just start at the beginning.
"Bella, I have agreed to tell you what is going on," I said as I placed my hand on the side of her neck. It was a comforting action that helped me to feel connected to her. I took a deep breath closing my eyes, trying to draw her courage into myself. "what we know of it anyway, but you have to agree to hear us out."
"What do you mean by 'what we know of it.'?" She asked me too quickly.
"Do you agree?" I asked her again ignoring her question for the moment.
She nodded her head and I did just as the head of our family had told me to, I started at the beginning.
"Alice has been getting visions for about a month now. I was not happy to learn that as they got more frequent you seemed to always be present when one came. But that is how most things go when you are involved. At first they were very sketchy and she couldn't understand anything that she saw."
"Which is why they didn't tell us either." Emmett threw in before I could silence him. Bella looked at him skeptically before turning back to me. I decided to press on with this matter. If I was going to have to tell her I was going to tell her my way at the very least.
"However, as time went on it became apparent that someone was planning something that had to do with you. Whoever it is they must have had a certain knowledge of Alice's powers because they were not making any actual decisions. Which is why we weren't able to get much. But now things are more clear. We know that the Volturi are sending someone here."
"We are pretty sure that they are coming to check on you. We think that they are trying to catch us off guard. That is why they are coming so soon and why they have been trying to keep it from us."
"I thought you said that they wouldn't come looking for me again for quite some time?" Bella said as her face turned slightly paler.
"As I said, though, they seem to be trying to catch us off guard. We do not know the one that is coming or when he will be here. We are actually still hoping that we can make it to graduation before we have to try to make a run for it."
"Why?" She asked with a serious face.
"What do you mean 'why?'?"
"I mean, why are we sticking around? We should just make up a story and go. Get out of here before they track us here."
"It isn't that simple, Bella."
"Why not? Why does it even matter though? We have already been through this. Since I am going to lose the memories anyway, why do I have to graduate at all? I mean you know my take on this all. I am looking forward to the memories that will never fade."
"I mean, why are we sticking around? We should just make up a story and go. Get out of here before they track us here."
"It isn't that simple, Bella."
"Why not? Why does it even matter though? We have already been through this. Since I am going to lose the memories anyway, why do I have to graduate at all? I mean you know my take on this all. I am looking forward to the memories that will never fade."
I hated when she said things like that I never knew just how much she was editing. I definitely did not want her to be changed out of fear that something would happen. Then again, knowing her, it would be fear that something would happen to one of the family and she wasn't able to do anything about it. Not to mention the fact that it was happening 'because of her' as she liked to say. But none of this would be happening if I had just been able to stay away in the first place. Not that I would really want to change that fact now anyway. I know that I would die without her.
I didn't notice that I was watching Bella with a worried look on my face but you could se in hers that she was worried about me.
"Just say it already, Edward, whatever you are trying not to say at the moment. You need to learn that I can read you just as well as you can read me.
"Better," I muttered under my breath as she always knew and I was usually guessing. "What?" I asked as I tried to buy myself just a little more time. I really didn't want to have to point out the obvious with Bella. Especially when she hadn't thought about it herself yet and I knew it would hurt her.
"Edward, whatever you are trying to get around saying. It is written on your face. Please, just say the words so that we can move on to more important things." If only she realized that to me there was never anything more important than her and her wellbeing.
"Bella," I said sadly as I finally caved to her once again. "This graduation has absolutely nothing to do with you. … Wait, that's not how that was supposed to come out. What I mean is … This graduation is for Charlie and Renee. They are the ones that you are about to leave behind. They are the ones that will not be there for the hundreds of times that you will be doing this in the future."
"Edward, you have got to know by now that they are not what keeps me living from day to day. Yes, I do love them. And should I remember them I am sure I will miss them."
"I would never let you forget your parents, Bella. You have to know that." I tried to explain but Bella cut me back off as if I hadn't spoken at all.
"But you are my end all and be all." The look in her eyes said that she was telling the absolute truth and I couldn't find it in me to not believe her. "Look at your sisters and your mother. Ask them, ask your brothers or your father, Edward. There is no point in living if I will die without you, there is no point in anything." Her beautiful melted chocolate eyes started to water and spill over. I wiped away her tears and held her to me. In the moment of quiet I was able to hear the others. I would always be amazed that Bella had the ability to consume me so much that she could diminish my ability for me.
"I know exactly what I am saying, just so that you know." Bella said after a moment, once she was calmed down again. "I do not let any of this go by lightly, Edward. Even though I have not had as many years to deal with all of this I am still me and I will continue to be me once I am changed. I want you to know that I truly believe that knowledge is the key. That coupled with the family's many years of knowledge and understanding will help us all. I am not saying this just to make you feel better in any way. You know that I would never want to hurt you but false truths are just as bad as real deception. I would never do that to you."
"You still have to graduate though, Bella. Not to mention the fact that your mother will be coming soon just to see you. You cannot leave before you are able to tell her goodbye. I promised you that much. I will keep that promise."
"Edward, I know that this is not what you had planned for us and it is about time that we all accept that plans change. However, we need to get out of here before it is too late."
"No, you are going to graduate and then we will leave." I said in a tone louder than I wanted it to be I needed to keep control. But I needed her to listen even more, we would not let everything that has been worked for go up in flames. Not as long as we could help it.
"It isn't like I won't have the rest of forever to graduate. And will, many times over." She said back, her voice also turning sarcastically angry.
"That is not how this will be playing out, Bella. I just told you that you have to look at the big picture here. You will graduate as a human then spend some time with your mother. Then we will change you. We will not be running before."
"Bella you have to understand a couple things." Alice jumped in here. I could see in her mind that she wanted Bella to see the lengths we actually went to in order to stay as inconspicuous as possible. This is a part of being a Cullen. Certain things just have to be carried out as such. "You need to play your role here, Bella, then we can do what you want. Part of being a Cullen is being meticulously responsible. Right now is the time to play the role of the happy to be graduating engaged only child. Only then can we give Charlie and Renee the closure you so need them to have."
"I am sorry, guys. I will listen now. Do you have any idea who is coming or when they will be here." I could see in her eyes that she was understanding what Alice was telling her. She might not have liked our arguments, but I could see that she understood that this is how things would be done for now. I couldn't help but to think about what we had been discussing before we came home. But I would not let her dictate our current actions. Her only objection was to become like me. But I would not let her do it in the heat of the moment. It would not be a life saving action but the controlled, planned event it was currently scheduled to be. We were going to change her on the eleventh and that was final.
"Okay, I get that, but could you just think about this for a second..." Maybe she wasn't actually listening to us.
"No," I said cutting her off. "you have to think of he bigger picture here, Bella. I will not let you do this this way just to later regret all the things you gave up by changing early out of fear. I will not allow that to happen."
"Would somebody please …" Bella began as she turned to the family for support. Only the family was gone. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I wasn't hearing any of their opinions on the matter at hand. I was always so wrapped up in Bella when she was around. "Where did they go?" She asked with a slight frown.
"No one wants to be in the middle of a domestic dispute." I said with a slight smirk.
Bella began to smile softly. "I am sorry, Edward." She said in a sad tone.
"I Love you, Bella." I couldn't think of anything else to say at the moment. I really did not want to fight with her about this.
"Edward, I love you, too. But love is not just love and laughter, there are always rough spots and those are the times that we need work on getting through together. We both need to learn how to allow the other to do things for each other and ourselves. We need to allow ourselves to indulge in things we like and not just cater to the other's needs. We are both so totally out of balance that I am kind of amazed that we haven't harmed ourselves even more. So from now on we need to vow to work on our balance of self and couple."
"Bella, how are you able to see things from all of these different perspectives? That is probably why I can't read you." I said with a smirk. "You have so many random thoughts just waiting for you to let them out that they are buried by each other. I always said you had an incredible mind."
She smiled wide for me before she added. "I know that you have experience in these things. However, you know that I hate to be left in the dark. I realize that you didn't have anything to tell me that wouldn't make me twist it into something, well, it is bad. But, next time, please trust me to accept the information wisely with a proper explanation."
"I will Bella. I am sorry that we kept you in the dark for so long. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again."
"Don't worry so much." She said with an even wider grin. "It wont."
"And how are you so sure?" I asked unable to keep the smirk from my face.
"Because soon I will be just like you and no one will have any reason to come calling." Bella said nonchalantly.
"Whatever you say my love." I said with a sigh as I kissed the top of her head.
Alice then came back into the living room through the dinning room door. She sat down on Bella's other side and smiled at her.
"So, I thought that you should know that we have called in some reinforcements."
"What do you mean reinforcements?" She said with a worried look as her head shot towards Alice.
"She means that we have many friends." Jasper added as he sat on the couch across from us.
BPOV
Okay, so I have to admit, it really was nothing like I had imagined. They were keeping bad things from me. But they were actually keeping it from everyone, not just me. That made me feel a little better, but only a little. Now what was with these reinforcements? Was I actually going to meet the coven they knew from Denali, Alaska? Did I really want to meet them? I already knew that they are the ones that Edward ran to when he thought that my scent was too much for him in the beginning.
I also knew that at least one of them had made it known that she was interested in him. Alice had been nice enough to clue me in to that little bit of information during a Bella Barbie session. Was I ready to meet the competition? Was I really ready to see what I would never be?
"Bella, why are you so confused and worried now?" Jasper said suddenly. I was going to have to remember to think before I thought around Jasper in the future, before I did anything around him actually. He could obviously feel my emotions, my insecurities.
"Bella?" Edward said in a worried tone as he looked from Jasper to me. "Love, you don't have to worry. We would never let anyone get near you. You will be safe. You do not have to worry about our friends. They would never hurt you."
"That is not what I am worried about." I said a little mad. I hated to be found out and I hated even more that they thought that they knew what my emotions meant. "Jasper may be able to tell what I am feeling, but he has no clue as to why. It seems that I am not the only one that is guilty of jumping to conclusions."
"I am sorry, Bella. Would you care to tell us why you are so worried now?" Jasper then said in a diminished tone. It only made me feel worse. I knew that part of me had a right to be mad. But it wasn't at Jasper and it wasn't about this. This was just my own embarrassment lashing out so that I didn't feel so vulnerable.
"I am sorry too, Jasper. I didn't mean to say that like that. But no I do not want to talk about it I want to talk about these reinforcements. So, when will the family from Denali be showing up?" Edward looked at me sadly yet confused before Alice spoke.
"Who said anything about the Tanya?" She said with a raised eyebrow.
"But you said that you called in reinforcements. If not them then who?" I asked
"Oh," Jasper said with a slight smile on his face. "I get it, Bella, really, this has got to stop."
"What are you talking about Jasper?" Edward said as he looked at him with a livid expression on his face. It was obvious that Jasper was saying something to Edward. It was also obvious that Edward was not liking whatever he was being told.
"Bella," Edward then said as he looked back at me and his eyes and tone softened. "Why were you worried about Tanya's family coming?"
"I'm not." I said with my best fake smile. "But since it isn't them coming I would like to know about who ever is coming." I thought it was worth a try to change the subject. However it was quite obvious that that was not something I could pull on them.
"Nice try, Bella." Alice then said. "You do know that you have no reason to be jealous of Tanya, don't you?" She concluded, just throwing my insecurities out in the open for the whole family to view. She then got up and moved to sit next to Jasper.
"Is that true Bella? Is that why you were worried?" Edward asked in a pained voice.
I couldn't speak to conform or deny their claims. I couldn't even look at Edward. I looked at my knees and tried really hard to keep the tears from falling out of my eyes. However, that isn't really possible when you are looking down.
Edward caught the first tear before it landed on my clasped hands in my lap. He then lifted my head so that I was facing him. "Bella, you have absolutely no reason to worry about Tanya or any other woman. You are all I want and all I will ever need for eternity. I really wish that you would believe me when I say that."
"I do." I said as I ran my hand across his cheek roughly. I hated seeing the tortured look in his eyes. "I believe you. But that doesn't mean that I want to see the beautiful vampire that threw herself at you. Whether you turned her down or not. I really think it is hard enough to see Rosalie on a daily basis. Even knowing what you said about there never being anything between the two of you. But that will never erase the knowledge that she was still brought into the family to be your mate. No matter what anyone says. It will not change those facts and it will never change the fact that I will never be able to compare to either of them."
"Bella," I turned my head when I saw Rosalie at the bottom of the stairs. "I know this may be hard for you to believe, but not everyone actually wants Edward." She said with a little smirk. "I admit that at the beginning I did try to catch his attention. But it was never out of any actual feelings for him. I had lived a life where I always got exactly what I wanted. I knew that the moment I walked into a room every eye was always on me."
"Thank you so much for proving my point Rosalie." I said sullenly as she moved closer to the couch and took Alice's recently vacated seat next to me.
"Would you please let me finish, Bella?" I nodded and she continued her story. "I was raised to know that I was beautiful and that I would be able to use that to make my life exactly what I wanted it to be. It was a huge hit to my ego that Edward never wanted me around. He never wanted to be alone with me. It wasn't hard to figure out in the beginning that he hated me and the fact that I was now a part of his family. It also didn't help that I didn't actually want to be here. But that story is for another time."
"The important part is the fact that there has never been anything but sibling animosity between Edward and I." She said as she flashed Edward a smile. He actually smiled back at her before he turned back to me and cupped my face in his hands again.
"Bella, I would like you to do me a favor."
"I will if I can." I said as I looked into his fathomless eyes that now shined with nothing but love and determination.
"For the next couple of weeks, just until you are changed, I want you to remember the conversation we had before coming home today. I want you to remember what I said to you every time you have even an inkling of a doubt that you are my one and only. Because I would not be able to live without you. You are the only one that has ever been able to turn this existence into a life for me. I will forever be indebted to you for that. And I love you even more everyday for it."
How could I have forgotten that conversation already? What was wrong with me. "I guess I am not always as observant as I claim to be. I am so sorry, Edward I would never doubt your love. As you know it is myself that I am always doubting. That and my abilities."
"I already told you once Bella. We will be putting a stop to that, and soon." Rosalie said with an almost wicked grin.
"So how about we tell you about Avery and Esther now." Alice said.
"Who are Avery and Esther?" I asked
"They would be our reinforcements. I called them and they are going to come sometime this week. They are really good friends of ours that I just know you will love, Bella." Alice was all excitement again.
"Are they like you or are they like …" I couldn't bring myself to say the name of any of the not so good vampires I had met.
"They are vegetarians." Jasper said matter-of-factly.
"But I thought that you and the Denali crew were the only vegetarians?"
"No, love," Edward said as he took my hand. "The Denali crew are just the only other large family we know. Avery and Esther are friends of ours from Europe. We decided to ask them because they have lived there for quite some time. Which means that they would know the ins and outs and be able to get us some more information without the Volturi knowing."
"But how are they going to do that if they are coming here?"
"They are just coming for an initial briefing." Jasper said
"An initial briefing?" I said with a chuckle.
"Edward, do you tell the girl anything?" Alice asked Edward with a frown.
"You know that I feel that that is better left for you to do, not me."
"What are you talking about?" I asked them.
"Nothing." Alice said with a sigh. "Before Jasper was turned he was actually a major in the confederate army. He was a great leader. That is why those that turned him did it. That along with his impeccable good looks." She said as she gave him a coy smile. "But they were not the family he wanted to be with. So after many years of depression he went on a journey to find what he was actually missing, me." She finished with a smile.
"It was like being hit with a wrecking ball. I had no clue what was going on until it was too late. And I will always be grateful to Alice for saving me from myself. She has always stuck by me. Even through all of my falls off of the preverbal wagon." He said as he ran his hand through his hair.
"And I always will." She said lovingly as she sat on his lap stroking his face lovingly.
I looked back to Edward to give them as much privacy as was allotted in this household.
"So, are you going to tell me about Avery and Esther?" I asked Edward.
"I would be honored to tell you about how we met them." Rosalie said from beside me.
I could see Emmett across the room as he pouted for some reason at Rosalie's words.
AN: This story is now oficially on hiatus. I am sorry for those of you that want to know what comes next. So do I though. I have to work on my NaNoWriMo story though. I now have only one month before I have to start posting it and it is still very raw. Hopefully I will be back soon with this story. One can only hope.