"Images and Illusions" (I&I) is the fifth story in my "Lofty Dreams" series. In case you haven't read it, "Lofty Dreams" is a P&P canon story in which Darcy and Elizabeth are high school seniors. The series also includes two vignettes, "Saturday, Sunday" and "The Picnic," that retell part of "Lofty Dreams" from Will's POV, and a sequel, "Touch Me Again," set ten years later. The first three are already completed and available on this site, and the fourth is currently being posted.

I&I is the story of Marletta, the mother of Lofty Dream's Darcy. She served as the Lady Catherine character in my earlier tales, and I became fascinated to explore how she came to be that way. The story spans more than thirty years, from her courtship with Darcy's father to the last days of her life. The story has 29 chapters and an epilogue, and overlaps with the P&P canon story beginning in chapter 23. The last few chapters of I&I overlap with "Touch Me Again."

This is very much a love story, and the romance is that of Darcy's parents. Darcy gets his romantic heroism naturally—from his dad! However, please be advised that Marletta's life is not an easy one and some of the chapters are very traumatic.

Of all my stories, this is my favorite, because it is the most emotionally absorbing, so I'd love to hear what you think. Please, please, please review!

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IMAGES AND ILLUSIONS

Part I: Billy

Part II: Will

Part III:Gavin

Part IV:George

Part V:Jenny

Part VI:Liz

Part VII:Marletta

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Part I: Billy

Present Day

More darkness.

That was Marletta's first reaction to her doctor's words. Her life had been mostly darkness, hidden fears, secrets kept tucked away, pain scabbed over so it can no longer be felt.

There had been exceptions, of course. Marriage and motherhood had provided her with many moments of joy. Yet because she tried so hard to keep the darkness tamped down, even during the best of times she wasn't completely happy. She was always afraid that it was a dream, from which she'd wake up and the nightmare would begin again. And so it had.

When had the dream begun? There was no question in her mind. It was when Billy walked into her life.

Chapter 1: May, mid-1980's

"Come on, Billy's a really nice guy. I think you'll like him," said Susan, Marletta Cole's best friend and roommate, as she tried to convince her to accept a blind date to Susan's cousin's wedding.

Susan had never been a matchmaker before. In fact, one of the things Marletta appreciated about Susan was that their friendship didn't revolve around relationships with men.

That all changed when Susan turned thirty the previous fall. Although Marletta continued to have no interest in marriage, singleness suddenly became anathema to Susan. And since nothing had worked out with the church-going men, limited in number that they were, that her family was always trying to set her up with, she was determined to find a husband on her own.

Of course, Susan decided to go after someone entirely different from her family's choices for her, in the person of a hotshot young lawyer named Marcus Henderson.

Marletta didn't really like Marcus. He seemed like a man who spent too many hours at the gym and too much time primping in front of a mirror. She knew, however, that his smooth talk and bad boy charm were part of his appeal to Susan. She thought her friend was naïve in thinking Marcus would marry her, but Susan was too infatuated to listen.

In the past, Susan had never pressed Marletta about her love life. She accepted the image Marletta presented at face value—that of a woman too driven to succeed to have much time for romance. No longer. Being in love, Susan wanted her friend to experience the same joy. She wanted to find a man as perfect for Marletta as she thought she had found for herself.

The opportunity came with Susan's cousin Andrea's wedding. Marletta was invited, of course. Since she was estranged from her family, she spent most of her holidays with Susan's large extended clan, who had adopted Marletta as one of their own.

The invitation came with one caveat. "You can't come alone," Susan declared.

"Since when do I need a date to do something with your family?"

"This isn't just any old thing! This is a wedding! You're supposed to have a date."

Marletta shook her head. "I don't need a date. I know most of your relatives. I'll be fine."

Susan pleaded with her. "I really want to introduce you to Marcus' friend Billy. I think you'll really like him. Do it for me, please?"

Eventually Marletta gave in. Susan had given her so much in friendship and support, and asked so little from her. Certainly she could do this one thing for her.

She rode to the afternoon wedding with Susan and Marcus, who explained that Billy had a lot of errands to run that morning and would meet them there.

Billy seemed to be a no-show until the minute the wedding music started. Marcus and Susan moved aside to let a young man in a slightly too big, rumpled suit and stained shirt slip into the pew beside Marletta. "I'm so sorry," he said, wiping perspiration from his forehead with a handkerchief. He held out his hand to her. "I'm Billy Darcy. You must be Marletta."

Meticulously neat and always punctual, Marletta barely touched his hand and then turned her attention forward. This was a man who Susan thought she'd like? She must be joking.

Like most weddings, this one included beautiful music, a lovely bride, and a cute ring bearer and flower girl. Marletta wasn't much into weddings, though, given her skepticism about marriage as an institution. Only her affection for Susan's family brought her there today.

As soon as the ceremony ended, Marcus asked Billy what had happened. His friend shook his head and chuckled. "This was one of those days when nothing went right. All my good suits were at the dry cleaners and they were supposed to be ready yesterday. But they weren't even ready when I went to pick them up this morning. I raced home, put on an old suit, and came out to find I had a flat tire. AAA said it would be an hour before they could tow it, so I changed to the donut myself, messed up my shirt, took it to a tire shop, had to wait there for an hour, and had no time to come home and change or I'd miss the wedding!"

He said all of this in less than a minute, without stopping to take a breath. He finally exhaled and turned again to her. "I apologize again, Marletta. I was really looking forward to today. I didn't want to be late."

Marletta nodded, unsure whether or not to absolve him. As they walked to the back of the church to stand in the receiving line, she decided that at least she should check him out first. Billy was about six feet tall, which was good. At 5'9", Marletta hated looking down on men. However, it was hard to tell much about his build in the suit he was wearing. Billy's complexion was milk chocolate with a copper undertone. He wore his hair short and had a thin, neatly trimmed moustache. He wasn't as handsome as Marcus, but he wasn't bad looking.

Billy offered warm congratulations to the bride and groom and their parents, as though he had known them for years and could care less that at the moment, his attire was less than ideal. Fortunately, he didn't do anything possessive, such as place his hand on her arm, so she could act as though she weren't with him.

The reception was held in the basement fellowship hall of the church, a large, open room with white walls and pale gray tiled floors. Covered buffet burners and sternos were lined up on several tables near a side wall. In the middle of the room, four rows of three extra-long tables were adorned with decorative paper tablecloths and floral centerpieces.

After they found seats, Susan excused herself and said that she was going to introduce Marcus to her various relatives. "Now you two can get to know each other," she added with a teasing grin.

When they were alone, Billy turned to her. "Marletta, let me apologize again—"

"Twice is enough," she replied frostily.

Billy looked briefly taken aback, and then he smiled. "I almost apologized for apologizing again, but I caught myself in time."

Inadvertently, Marletta found herself thawing a little. What a smile he had! Bright, even white teeth, small dimples in the corners of his mouth, and a playful twinkle in his eyes. She might have to change her assessment that Marcus was better looking.

"So, Susan tells me that you and she have known each other for a long time. Since junior high, right?"

"Yes." The smile hadn't melted her enough to make her friendly.

"How did you become friends?"

"We were both brainiacs," she murmured.

"I guess that does draw kids together in junior high. Nerds have to stick together."

"I wasn't a nerd," she said sharply.

"I wasn't aware there was a difference between nerds and brainiacs, but I guess I was wrong. I would apologize again, but that gets me into trouble, too."

There was laughter in Billy's eyes as he said this. Marletta almost smiled, but stopped herself. He was another smooth talker, just like Marcus.

"I'll confess," he went on. "I was a nerd or a brainiac or whatever you want to call it in junior high. The only thing that saved me from being a complete social outcast was that I was good at sports."

Marletta didn't respond, so Billy went on. "Susan said that you're a CPA."

She nodded.

"How do you like your work?"

"Pays the bills."

"Is that why you chose it?"

"Among other reasons." Feeling respected by people in important positions was another. And creating order out of mess—that was probably the biggest reason. In one area of life, she had control.

"I can see that. I suppose there are many reasons why I chose the law. One of the things I like the most is trying to make something that's really gone wrong better. Not that it always works out that way."

This chatty man wasn't getting it, so Marletta began to look around the room. Several people had lined up at a small round table in the corner to get cups of punch.

Billy wasn't deterred, however. "Are you from Meryton originally?"

She sighed. "Yes."

"Me, too. Where'd you grow up?"

"Longbourn City."

"I should have guessed that, since you grew up with Susan. I'm from Netherfield Park."

"So I guess that receptions in church basements with paper tablecloths are not your style."

Billy grinned and counted on his fingers. "A fifteen-word sentence! That's the most you've said to me yet!"

Marletta sighed again, and Billy's expression grew more serious. "Marletta, help me out. Either you're really shy, or you just don't like me. If you let me know which it is, I'll know how to react."

"I'm not shy."

"So you don't like me. That's fine. It happens. I know you know other people here. Would you like to sit somewhere else, or do you want me to move?"

Faced with his candidness, Marletta suddenly felt a little sorry for Billy. "I didn't say I didn't like you."

"Oh. Okay. Maybe it's something else. Maybe you're not feeling well. If that's the case, may I offer you a ride home?"

She didn't answer. Billy smiled again. "Tell you what. I'm going to get some punch for us. Why don't you think about it and let me know what you want to do. Whatever you decide is fine with me. I mean that."

As soon as he walked away, Susan slid into the seat he had vacated. She grinned and squeezed Marletta's arm. "How's it going? What do you think of him?"

"He's okay."

Susan gave her an annoyed look. "You are talking to him, aren't you?"

"He can carry on a conversation just fine all by himself."

"I don't believe you, Marletta! Don't play that junk here!"

Marletta was shocked by the anger in her normally easy-going friend's voice. "What do you mean?"

"It's one thing to get all sedity with some dude trying to pick you up in a club, but don't do that here. Not at my cousin's wedding and with Marcus' best friend. You're being rude and I don't appreciate it!"

Marletta looked down at her manicured nails and tried to control her temper. Anger was her default mode, but she knew Susan was right. When she was calmer, she looked back at Susan. "You're right, and I'm sorry. I'll give him a chance."

"Thank you."

As Susan stood, Marletta looked up and saw Billy there, holding two cups of punch. She wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there or how much he had heard.

When Billy sat down, Marletta said, ""Let me apologize this time. I haven't been a very considerate date."

Billy smiled. "You're forgiven. Are we finally going to have a two-way conversation?"

He really did have a beautiful smile, and Marletta couldn't help but smile back. Before she could answer, however, someone stood to announce the wedding party's entrance, and Susan and Marcus returned to their seats.

The buffet-style dinner included all the foods Marletta was used to eating during holidays at Susan's: baked chicken, honey-glazed ham, collard greens, sweet potatoes, black-eyed peas and dirty rice, homemade macaroni and cheese, and cornbread.

Marletta looked at Billy. "I guess this is new for you, huh?"

"Why's that?" Susan asked.

"Marletta seems to think that because I'm from Netherfield Park, I grew up eating caviar," Billy said. From his good-humored expression, she could tell he was teasing her.

Marcus laughed. "Marletta, Billy here's a good old boy! Just one generation removed from sharecroppers."

"Well, not quite," Billy said. "But yeah, my parents are from the South. So I grew up like almost every other black kid in America, eating stuff like spaghetti during the week, and meals like this on the weekends and holidays. No caviar. Sorry to disappoint you."

"No more apologizing, remember?" Marletta said with a smile.

The four of them continued to laugh and joke throughout their meal, and Marletta found herself having the best time she had ever had on a date. Later, when the DJ began playing records, Billy asked her to dance. She thanked him, but said no.

"You don't like to dance?"

"No, I do. It's just… I'm not into dancing at weddings. I know the music is going to be a bunch of corny line dances mixed in with sappy love ballads."

Billy laughed. "Oh, yeah, love songs are a terrible thing to play at a wedding."

As if on cue, the DJ started playing Heat Wave's "Always and Forever," and Billy stood and took her hand. "There, you've done it. The DJ must have heard you. Now you have to dance with me."

He looked so cute that she had to say yes. As he took her right hand in his left and placed his other hand on her back, she thought about the fact that she hadn't slow-danced with a guy in years. They started a few inches apart, but as the music went on, she found herself drawing closer to him until their bodies were touching. She had completely forgotten about him being the guy in the ill-fitting suit, and was thinking only of the attraction she felt for him.

Billy's mouth was near her ear, and he began to sing along. He had a beautiful voice, and she told him so. "Yeah, a singer was one of the thirty-odd things I wanted to be when I grew up," he replied softly.

Marletta rested her head on Billy's shoulder. She had always told herself she'd never let herself be taken in by a smooth-talking man, and here she was, completely charmed by Billy Darcy.

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How do you like Darcy Sr. so far? Please let me know!