Disclaimer: Skip Beat! does not belong to me. Are disclaimers still a thing on here, by the way?
A/N: As always, author intrusions in this fanfiction are intentional...and stupid. Oh, and don't take anything in here seriously.
-Skip Beat! Stories You Wish Will Never Come True-
The Forgotten Entries Part 1
Upon searching through the old records left by his long since vanished manager, Kuon Hizuri comes across the lost entries that the true king, Emperor Pharaoh Sultan Lord King Yukihito Yashiro-sama-tono-dono, left behind. The entries you are about to read are but fragments of the entire epic saga that expands galaxies. All of it is completely and totally..not true.
This part covers the true king's galactic expedites leading to the discovery of the backwoods planet every single alien race seems to target.
Date: First Day of The 1st Month
My name is Yukihito Yashiro and I am indeed the true king of the Planet Fanboy. I was born to two distant parents in the countryside some several centuries ago. My father died giving birth to me and my mother was the only woman on the planet at the time, so she had other obligations to fill-namely population expansion. She would later die on the eve of my coronation just two centuries after my birth. I needn't tell you the cause of her dea-
The entries from that point are not available. Please flip over tape to side B to continue reading. Just kidding about the tapes. Does anyone even still use cassettes?
Date: Tenth Day of The 16th Month
My crew becomes weary in the midst of our search for the planet with the highest concentration of idiots. I fear that it will not be long before a riot is started. Oh, dear. I just heard Crew Man 345 scream at Crew Man 309. I will continue this log later.
Date: Eleventh Day of The 16th Month
I tried to speak to my crew about acceptance and tolerance but they told me to piss off. They said that someone who doesn't even know all of their names is hardly one to talk about such things. I believe my ax and hot liquid magma will finally come in handy to appease this situation.
Date: Thirteenth Day of The 16th Month
I buried my crew today.
Date: Eightieth Day of The 17th Month
Forgive me for not logging in to the journal database sooner. I have been stranded on the Planet Fangirl for over a month. I sincerely fear for my life. Why do all of these women care about who gets with who? They will not stop over-analyzing every little thing that happens in a story! I am about to go insane. They will not stop saying, "Super Kawaii Desu Ne!" to me. I have never met such irritating people in my life. I hope this record of my journey never falls into the hands of one of them.
Date: First Day of The 18th Month
I am being forced to go through fangirl training in order to live. Their queen, a lady who wears rose-colored glasses and costumes made of satin, has assured me of my freedom if I properly complete this training.
Date: Seventh Day of The 18th Month
I am weary of this thing they call yaoi. We also have it on our planet, but the version here is focused on love rather than straight up lust. As always, these women never cease to astound and disgust me. I certainly would never fangirl over anything in my life. I must leave this planet at once if I wish to maintain my sanity.
Date: Fifteenth Day of The 18th Month
I have failed to escape this planet. The queen injected me with something, saying only, "When the time comes, this serum will activate." I haven't the faintest clue what she is talking about. I am sick of this planet. I shall attempt to escape again...
Date: Twentieth Day of The 18th Month
I have attempted to assuage the queen with the promise of matrimony between our two planets. She has refused my offer and wants only to wed a "brooding bad boy". I am not exactly sure what constitutes as a "bad boy", but it seems to be the guy with the most issues. The false king of my planet has plenty of problems-starting with his lack of an inside voice and bathing only once a year. Perhaps the lady would be smitten with him?
Date: Thirtieth Day of The 18th Month
The queen scoffed in disgust at my idea and has imprisoned me in a chamber where I am being forced to watch 1990s magical girl anime. Every hour I must break dance to vocaloid music videos and list off the queen's favorite magical girl transformations-she has 2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of them! They have a sue-prevention system so that I cannot even use my reality warping powers in this chamber! Is escape impossible?!
Date: First Day of The 19th Month
At long last, I have escaped that planet with the promise to their queen that I shall bring back quality shoujo manga for them to read and shounen manga for them to pretend is quality shoujo. Foolish queen. She truly has no idea whom she has just dealt with.
Date: Seventh Day of The 18th Month
I have approached the Milky Way Galaxy. Time itself has become twisted for me and I shall now fix the coordinates for the planet that has mostly caused this.
Date: Several months before 2003.
Naturally, it is this planet called Earth. At last, I have found my backwoods planet. In order to prevent these backwards aliens from discovering my true nature and dissecting me, I shall temporarily stop time with my grand and mysterious powers.
Date: Same day, same time?
I have been unable to stop time. I am being yanked by a force so strong that even I am unable to escape from its grasp. I am being transported into a version of this Earth where the ultimate creator is a woman. She calls herself Yoshiki Nakamura and in her infinite wisdom, she has created this world known as Skip Beat!... Her powers are far too strong to resist and I feel myself morphing into the character she has planned for me. I have but one option if I want to keep even a semblance of my personality in tact...
-The End...for now.-
A/N: The ending with Nakamura-san was completely unplanned. I just let myself type and those were the words that came out. Also, I really don't know when the next chapter is coming out. I actually need to reread the series. You see, just because this story fails at life, does not mean I can neglect mah research.