AN: IMPORTANT

PLEASE READ FIRST!

This chapter is NOT FLUFF. This is pertinent to the plot associated with the kidnapping of Bella and Jasper's accident. If you are not reading Finding Forgiveness this might not make complete sense. To get more insight as to what is happening at this time you may want to read the last chapter posted in that story before you read this.

Also, for those of you not reading Finding Forgiveness we are about even with Bella's chapter 20, so we are getting close to finding out exactly what happened to these two.

This chapter occurs between James' failed attempt to call Bella, dialing Leah instead, and the final and most poignant incident from the last chapter. Warning: This chapter is a little twisted.

I don't know what I would do without my QueenBeta Cullen818. Thanks for everything.

I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

Chapter 35 – Insanity Personified

"Why aren't these things working?" Leah asked to herself with consternation, as she shook the almost empty bottle of pills. She threw them to the seat next to her on the sofa, but quickly reclaimed them, when she fretted for their safety from the possibility of getting sucked into the depths of forbidden territory, in the seemingly bottomless pits that existed between seat cushions. They would be lost forever, and Leah couldn't have that. No, no, no, she relied on these lovely little bites of numbness.

She grabbed her cell phone off of the table and looked again at the screen in agitation. Worriedly she scrolled until she found what she was looking for, and then she smiled.

^*^

Leah had always been daddy's little girl, and the apple of his eye, but her mother, Gianna, saw only weakness, and pettiness in her only daughter. She had tried to raise Leah to be stronger, but she had told Leah on several occasions that she would always be dependent on someone to take care of her. Gianna proved her point when Leah's daddy died unexpectedly. Leah had just turned the tender age of fifteen, and the devastation brought Leah to her knees.

How was one to survive such turmoil? She thought, desolate beyond her own imaginings. She tried to continue on with her life the next few weeks after that…and she felt victorious even. Her many friends constantly commended her on how well she did, praised her on her ability to take care of herself, no matter what her horrid mother had to say.

It wasn't until Leah brought her friends home to meet Gianna a month after her daddy passed on that things changed. Leah had boasted to her mother time and time again about how much her friends liked her, and how very popular she was. She brought them to her mother and introduced friend after friend, lining them up even, to show how organized she was, and oh, how wrong her mother was about her, but instead, her vile mother caused a scene; calling all of Leah's friends mean and offensive names like "Dolls" "Toys" and "Barbie's". She gathered my friends up, and threw them out of the house. Her rant continued, she screamed and cried while she verbally abused me by calling me delusional and crazy.

Gianna went so far as to spread this hogwash to others. Leah saw two very nice doctors who asked her lots of questions, poked her for blood and then performed fun tests. Leah's favorite test was the smell test, where they covered her eyes and asked her to smell things, and she had to guess what they were. The questions and tests were very simple minded and a waste of her time. The doctor's both told Leah that she passed them with flying colors, but then as Leah waited for her mother, giddy with excitement that she could gloat over her success, she overheard the doctor's whispering falsehoods to her mother.

Words such as "Schizophrenic" and "Psychotic" spewed venomously from their mouths, as they attempted to sound professional and trustworthy, but Leah could see through the façade, so she was sure that her mother being much smarter and wiser than her would develop the same opinion, but it wasn't to be so.

Why couldn't Leah's mother see that they were just out for her daddy's money? She wondered. Leah's daddy would have rolled over in his grave had he seen how her mother was wasting away the money he worked so hard to earn for their family. Her daddy would be ashamed, and Leah told her mother so. Gianna slapped Leah so hard that she fell back onto their living room table and broke her arm.

It was only two short weeks later that Gianna packed her daughter a bag and sent her to live at the hospital with the two lying doctor's. Leah came to forgive the doctor's for their foolishness; they were so young after all…and beautiful, especially Dr. Gerandy. Dr. Gerandy had blond wavy hair and deep blue eyes. Both doctor's took their time making her feel special and adored, while they supplied her with the special substance that made her feel no pain for the loss of her daddy, and a mother that clearly took the first excuse available to abandon her to another.

Leah never saw her mother after she had dropped her off at the doorstep that day, and when Gianna died seven years later Leah was ejected from the hospital to finally fend for herself. She had to take three pills a day to keep her from getting the influenza the doctor's had told her, because Leah was especially susceptible to the virus, so much so that she really did believe the result of not taking her daily doses would be fatal.

Leah managed to find a job in a library. It wasn't long after Leah started her job as an assistant to the head librarian that she met what she thought would be the man of her dreams. The handsome and enigmatic man waltzed in to the library with his beautiful face and his expensive clothes.

The first visit, he had spoke with Leah only briefly, in an educated manner when he was looking for a book, in particular, and Leah blushed prettily as he focused his gray eyes on her. After that he made a point of coming in a couple of times a week for several weeks, sometimes not even looking for any books at all, waving around smiles and winks in Leah's direction, eliciting numerous blushes and giggles from her.

Leah was young, beautiful and a catch for any man, but she only wanted one. Embry Call. She waited with baited breath for his visits to the library; it was her favorite times of the week. Finally, after a month he found the courage to ask the sweet girl out.

After the first date Embry predicted that they would marry and have lots of children. He spent the next months wooing, lavishing gifts, and most importantly, attention on Leah, so it was no surprise that after a short eight months of courtship Embry's prophecy came to fruition, and he and Leah were married.

^*^

It was only after they were married, did Leah see the other side of Embry.

Because Embry had done the right thing by Leah, and did not stay the night at her house until after they were married, he was never there in the morning to see her daily regimen of pills.

After Embry found out about her prescriptions he did "research"…on what? Leah didn't know. He made her go to more doctors, a team of them, who ultimately altered her medication. That is when Leah started to see with more clarity. The drugs they had given her had cleared a haze that she never knew existed, and immediately realized that she wanted it back.

Leah and Embry were married for just over a year when she became sick and had to get her appendix removed. It was after that hospital visit that everything changed.

All of a sudden, her husband didn't seem so lovely. He was mean and surly. Having sex with him became a chore, instead of a pleasure. Leah had loved making love with her husband before the new pills but now, she was repulsed by him.

That is when she found solace her blond boy.

It mattered none that she had to pay for him. He gave her what she needed…love…and she had loved him. She still did.

At first, she liked that he wouldn't tell her his name, and that he was so secretive about all of his personal details. The anonymity made the interludes just that much hotter, and Leah could be very convincing when she wanted to be. She knew she was getting close to breaking him down when he had broken it off with her. Is that why? Because she was unraveling the mystery?

When Leah's blond boy told her that he didn't want to see her anymore she thought she had done her best job trying to convince him to stay with her, but in the end, he had pulled away from her and turned his back on her. That moment was like a knife in the heart for Leah, and she hadn't been the same since.

Embry had noticed the change, but instead of consoling her, he had started staying out later and for longer periods of time.

Leah felt all alone.

She had not felt this alone since she lost her daddy so many years ago. She started to question her existence. What the hell was she here for? She had never considered ending it all herself…until now.

Leah put down her cell phone and picked up the other object on the living room table. She studied it for several moments. Her fingertip traveled the length, while her palm weighed it. She lifted it to her face so she could rub it along her cheek to feel the texture and temperature of the device. She brought it to her nose so she could see if the cold metal supplied a scent.

Yes, she could end it all now, but if she did…that would defeat the purpose…she wouldn't get what she wanted…her blond boy. She wasn't giving up hope. No, the lone bullet in this gun was for the person standing in her way. Leah just knew that if Embry wasn't her husband, her and her true love would be together.

^*^

Just across town Embry got into his car to head toward hell…yes, his home had become hell. He knew Leah had been seeing someone on the side and he was completely fine with that, but he wondered what had brought on the sudden change in her attitude.

If the asshole had hurt her he would break his legs. He thought in defense of his wife's infidelity woes. Embry still loved his wife, even though he didn't want to. He definitely had a valid reason not to.

After Embry married Leah he discovered her prescriptions, he studied them, because Embry was, after all, a studious individual. After his research, he found that the person that he married, that carefree, lovable creature, was not the person he thought she was.

Embry spent a shitload of money trying to repair his wife. He took her to top doctors in the country. They examined her, one after a fucking other and they all gave Embry the same diagnosis.

He was fucking trapped with a confirmed psycho, but he couldn't stop caring about her.

The doctors advised him that the medication that she was taking put her in a state of surrealism. She was lucid, but she saw everything in very simple terms. So, what Embry had originally found so endearing upon meeting her, mistaking the characteristic for naiveté, began to grate heavily on his nerves.

They changed her prescriptions, hoping that he could have a normal spouse, and she did for the most part…become normal…average. Now she was just average. Her spark had left her, the zest that she had for life was nowhere to be found. What was once a happy-go-lucky girl now stood a shell of a woman.

The best thing that Embry did was getting Leah "fixed". It was easy to pull the wool over her eyes, and after administering a new pill into her routine, the side effects led the ground work to make sure that Leah could never give birth. Leah had thought she was getting her appendix removed, but Embry had paid a surgeon a healthy sum to tie her tubes instead.

Embry sacrificed his dream of having a house full of children, but it wasn't without much depression and anger; anger that he gladly took out on his liaisons.

Embry Call had many affairs over the years. He began by housing some of his women in small apartments that he furnished and paid the rent on, with the agreement that she would only have sex with him, and that they would be available to him whenever he so desired.

But after setting up dwellings for a few, he had tired of the tediousness and decided that the stipulation of monogamy was overrated and opted for the services of the age old paid profession. Currently, he had a couple of girls on the side, Bree and Jessica. Between the two of them Embry's sexual needs were fulfilled.

Embry pulled into the driveway of his two and a half story house with a heavy heart.

It's too big of a house with no children. Embry thought demented with sadness, which had not faded with the years. The desire to have children was still profound, but for some reason he couldn't cast Leah to the side or have kids with another. He still loved her.

With his head hanging he walked into the house. Leah's car had been in the driveway but the house was dark and quiet, that is until he heard the clicking sound behind him. Imagining that he was going to be accosted by an intruder, he swiveled around preparing to defend himself from his attacker, but it was just Leah who stood there with a solemn look on her face…and a gun in her hand; a gun she was pointing at him.

"Whoa honey, it's just me." Embry said with a nervous chuckle as he held up his hands in surrender. But upon hearing the all too familiar voice Leah did not lower the gun; in fact, she raised it infinitesimally higher, just over Embry's heart.

"It's you…You did this. You made him go away and I need him back." Leah whispers urgently. Embry senses the severity of the situation, and is aware that he must approach with extreme caution.

"I did this to who? Who did I make go away?"

Embry was concerned that Leah had not taken her pills for the day. Little did he know that she had taken too many.

She shook the gun at him. "My blond boy. He broke up with me because of you."

He took one small step closer to Leah. "Honey, we can talk about this. I can fix things. If you want your blond boy…I can get him back for you. You know I can do that. Right?" Leah considered Embry's proposition. And Embry…Embry was madder than hell. After all he had done for this selfish bitch she planned on killing him?

While Leah mentally crumpled under Embry's skills at persuasion he dared another step closer. "Leah…just tell me who he is and I can get him back for you."

Her eyes filled with tears. Even in the predicament that Embry found himself in, he hated to see Leah like that. "Tell me…let me make it better."

"I don't…don't know…his, his name." She blurted on a sob. What the fuck? Embry thought furiously.

"Who did this to you?" Embry asked.

Leah's face brightened after a moment of thought. "I…I have a picture." Leah pivoted away from Embry, precariously waving the gun around the room in a flurry of motion to get to her cell.

When Leah thrust the cell phone at Embry he lunged at Leah, simultaneously ripping the cell phone out of her hand, and clutching onto the hand that held the fire arm.

Leah tried in vain to pull her hand free, but gave up the futile effort after a moment's struggle. Instead she focused on the phone in Embry's hand. "Can...can you help me?" She asked tentatively.

Leah may have had a good laugh if it had ever managed to sink in that she was asking her husband to help her get her lover back, but Leah was diseased; wrought with contaminated genes, and an unhealthy dose of dreams that she would never see develop.

Embry looked at her shockingly, dumbfounded at her brazenness to ask that of him…but he had offered…so, he glimpsed at the screen of her cell phone. He was surprised to see the face of one of his own courtesan's.

Jessica appeared in the picture with two other men. They appeared to be at the place where he picked Jessica up for their weekly romps. None of them were looking into the camera, so it appeared to be a candid shot.

So, sweet Leah was seeing a hooker too. The coincidence was almost laughable. Embry even managed a smile created by such irony.

What were their names? Embry thought hard. Embry had a talent for remembering names and faces, so while he held Leah's hand in an iron grip he fought to remember the names of Jessica's previously insignificant cohorts.

James and Jasper. That's it. Embry was sure of it. He had even said the names aloud to receive a confirmation from his wife that he was fully aware that she wouldn't be able to supply.

"James or Jasper." Leah had said the names reverently, and the look that glazed over her features had made Embry sorrowful.

She loved the boy. He thought pathetically.

He knew which name was Leah's lover, as he was positive that Jessica had told him during one meaningless conversation that the boy named James had relations with other men, so that would mean that he was gay. It didn't take a master at deduction to figure out that Leah's love was Jasper.

Leah sobbed out the names, over and over again.

"You need to sit down. Please come over here." He pulled Leah to the sofa and forced her to lie down, but instead of wrenching the gun away from her, he twisted her arm up so that it was inching toward herself.

Leah realized too late what Embry was in the process of doing. Her voice was lost as she uttered a weak "no". Her eyes were wide and afraid as Embry pushed the barrel of the gun closer to Leah's temple.

"Rest my darling Leah. I will bring him to you. I will bring you your Jasper and you can live together forever."

It was then that Leah knew her time was up. She couldn't fight him off. There was nothing more she could do to save herself. With defeat, her hand went slack on the trigger, and her arm lost all of its defensive tension.

She shut her eyes, and envisioned her blond boy one more time.

Jasper.

*^*

Embry watched in fascination as the blood oozed from the corpse of his wife. He couldn't stop staring at her. She looked so peaceful and beautiful. Her plush lips were closed and slightly curved up into what looked like a smile. Embry didn't delude himself into thinking that she had been thinking about him in her last seconds. No, the serene look that Leah had on her face when she gave up her struggle had nothing to do with him, but he couldn't help but see her for what she was so many years ago.

Seeing his wife in her younger form caused Embry to become hard and throb in his slacks. He watched his wife while he palmed himself through his pants. His other hand swept up and caught in Leah's soft locks and then traveled down her cheek. His hand fell further down and paused at the dormant vein in her throat, before sliding along her satiny skin to her chest, which did not rise and fall with breath. He felt for a heartbeat he knew would not be there. He touched her pert breast and squeezed the mound. "Fuck." He muttered as he lowered his zipper. His pants gapped open while he pulled his straining member out of his boxers. There was never a need for lubrication, Embry liked it rough, so his mildly calloused, dry hands gave him an exorbitant amount of pleasure. He stroked his cock, long and hard as he watched his exquisite wife rest in peace. It wasn't long before his release hit him in a tidal wave, at the last moment he created a shield with his hand to protect any of his flow from disturbing his resting wife. He opened his eyes when the tremors subsided to find a droplet of his semen landed on the cheek of his beloved. He bent his head and licked the bead off of her.

"Sleep my darling."

^*^

It wasn't hard to convince Birmingham police that Leah had committed suicide. After receiving the reports of her past health conditions, the amount of drug ingested at time of death, as well as the sworn statement from one of the doctors that had cared for her for so many years, it was literally an open and shut case.

No, it hadn't been hard at all for Embry to convince Dr. Gerandy to tell officials that Leah had threatened to commit suicide many times while she was in his custody. When Embry confronted Dr. Gerandy with his questionable methods for "caring" for his wife years before, Dr. Gerandy agreed to go along with whatever Embry wanted.

^*^

It was with a considerable amount of aggravation that Embry had to sit in his car and wait for Jasper. He was only irritated because Leah had only called the boy "blond", and it wasn't until after she was gone did he realize that both the boys in the photo donned this hair color.

Embry unsuccessfully attempted to pick out the homosexual of the two, by using his nonexistent "gaydar", with no avail.

They both looked like fags. Embry had thought with disgust.

He had made the mistake of not asking Leah which one was Jasper, but hindsight being what it was, Embry decided not to dwell on it for too long. He would just simply ask, if it came to that.

He wasn't too worried about getting apprehended. Studying schizophrenia and other similar behavioral disorders gave Embry an advantage. If he was caught fulfilling his wife's last request, pleading insanity would be too easy. Acting the part would be cake. He could be out in as early as ten years; he could do that for Leah.

He was only thirty two; he could still be young enough to have children someday. He sighed at the thought of finding another wife, but was hopeful when he thought about his long lost dream of raising children. He glanced at the illuminated clock.

The hour was late, so after the fifth night in a row, Embry, again, wearily turned the ignition on his car and left the seedy area.

"Soon darling. You will have him soon." He whispered into the dark, cold interior of his vehicle.

AN: So I totally had to search for my inner Sandra Brown for this chapter. I am wondering how I did, so tell me if I succeeded at making Leah, crazy but pitiful and Embry the sick fuck that he is.