thanks to lilythesilly for writing it with me.
and thanks to chasing after rainbows for being the argentina of beta-ing.
chuck bass and seb mantegna for both of them.

so since i've rated this M now, i don't feel bad about the swearing. or the uh, content. okay, i sort of do.
but i'm just saying.
you've been warned.

I Dare You

Cammie--

Macey came squealing up and hugged me, slipping a quarter between the strap of my bag and my shoulder. "Ohmygosh, I haven't seen you in forever!" she cried, even though we were roommates. "Where've you been, girl?"

Macey detached herself and sighed. "God, this assignment is totally buzz-kill. I already know how to brush pass, dammit."

I adjusted my bag and slipped the quarter into my hand, agreeing. Macey leaned against the bar with a drink in her hand. "And this place is so boring," she muttered, looking around. I hadn't gone to many clubs, so I decided not to say anything. "Hey, wanna play a game?"

I blinked. "Uh, sure," I said. I ordered a drink and turned back to her. "What do you want to play?"

Macey thought about it for an extraordinary short amount of time, then cocked her head to the side and said, "Truth or Dare, but without the Truth part. Only Dares."

"Sounds like fun."

Macey grinned. "It is. I'll go first! I dare you to tease Zach."

My drink arrived. I picked it up and sipped it. "Uh, what, like 'na na na, you suck'?"

Macey rolled her eyes. "Of course not, that's stupid. No, I mean, like, tease him..." she searched for the right word. "Sexually." She nodded and took a sip of her drink.

I choked on my drink. "Uh, like seduce him?" I spluttered. "I've done enough of that in the past few weeks, thank you very much."

Macey rolled her eyes again. "Of course not, that's also really stupid. No. Tease him, like, act like you're going to seduce him, but pull away when he can't keep it in his pants."

I stared at her. "Are you crazy?" I asked.

Macey looked offended. "I'm bored."

Zach--

"Oi, Goode!" I looked up from my drink with a bored expression. Bex Baxter was walking towards me with a stupid grin on her face - she was either drunk or high.

"What do you want, Baxter?" I said dryly. I slammed my drink down and nodded to the waiter, ordering another one. She just stood there, expecting me to guess. I shrugged. It was after six so I was off the clock and too drunk to do the spy guessing games with her. I looked at the bar, there were no peanuts. Epic fail.

I grabbed my drink before the bartender could hand it to me. "Seriously, what do you want? 'Cause you're kinda ruining my mood. I just got back from an ass-whoop mission and I'd like to be drunk."

Bex shrugged. "Ah, well then, never mind. I just thought that instead of being in a bar, you could be in Cammie's pants. But it's your call, I guess."

I dropped my glass. "What're you talking about, Baxter?"

She shrugged. "Maybe a little bet? If you can't get Cammie to sleep with you by tonight, then you owe me seventy five bucks. See win-win? If you win, you get laid. If I win, I get paid."

I sat down on the bar stool and placed my drink on the bar. "You make an excellent point."

She shrugged again and snorted. "Yeah, well, I'm just smarter than you are. So I'll know tomorrow then? And trust me, I'll know - Cammie tells me everything. Speaking of, I didn't know you were one for foreplay." She laughed and walked away, finishing my drink.

I glared and ordered another one. Whatever, Baxter.

Cammie--

"Hey, Zach," I greeted, sitting next to him and leaning forward pointedly.

He didn't react. Well, he smirked. But he always did that.

Fuck. This was going to be a bit harder than I thought.

"Gallagher Girl," he greeted, taking a long drink. "Has your bed been feeling lonely lately?"

I was surprised. First, Zachary Goode doesn't use totally lame (and sometimes, regrettably hot) lines like that. And two, I was supposed to be teasing him. I regained my composure and took a sip of my own drink. "Actually," I said, leaning forward even more so my lips were almost touching his. One of his hands was on my thigh. Already. "No." I pulled back and walked off, leaving him there looking kind of shocked.

I finished off my drink. I had a feeling I would need it to get through the night doing this dare.

Macey--

I sat in the villain-like black minivan with Bex, while we giggled like crazy. "She won't be able to do this. It's Zach. She can't just tease him."

Bex snorted and grabbed the popcorn from the front seat. "She better. I need my seventy five dollars. Especially since I lost sixty to Jonas last week."

"What'd you bet him?" I asked.

"If he could create a new equation to prove Einstein's theory of relativity, and the fucking egghead did it. If anything, we should have placed this bet between Jonas and Liz."

"I'd doubt it. Last week I asked Liz if she was a virgin and she giggled. I think that speaks for itself."

Zach--

What the fuck?

"Yo, Goode," Grant Newman said, perching himself on the barstool next to me. "You look bewildered."

"Dude, nobody talks like that," I told him, finishing off another drink. "Hey, does Bex ever suddenly not want sex?"

"Amusing question. And no - Bex is a sex goddess," Grant said.

I frowned. "Unneeded visual."

"What, did Cammie castrate you or something? Maybe she's PMSing."

"No, that's creepy, Newman."

I thought more about what had just happened.

"Well, in case your sex life with Cammie is ever lacking, I say, next time, set up a video camera and-" I left immediately and made a mental note to myself to never borrow a video from Grant. "It makes it more entertaining!" Grant called. I pretended I didn't know him, and saw Cammie up ahead in her short black dress.

I caught up to her and stepped in front of her. "Gallagher Girl," I greeted.

Grant--

I watched Zach walk away and tapped my comms unit, "Mission accomplished. I got him far away." I swallowed my drink and laughed while Zach tried to run his hand up Cammie's dress.

"Bex, a sex goddess? Not that I'd like to see."

"Quit your bloody laughing, McHenry. And don't knock the video camera idea either. It can be very fulfilling." Bex's thick accent came out in a defensive tone.

I agreed, "Yeah, especially since I look so goddamned good shirtless." I laughed and glared at the guy passing by and staring at me. "What's wrong with you, punk-ass? Ever see a guy talk on a Bluetooth before?" He walked away embarrassed. "Jackass," I muttered.

"Someone seems offended," Macey sang, bursting out in laughter.

"Someone needs voice lessons." The laughter ceased. Hell yeah. Fear the Greek Goddess, McHenry.

Jonas--

"This is so mean," I muttered to my laptop screen which had a video connection to Macey's van.

"Jonas! Almost forgot you were there, buddy," Macey cried happily. She was probably drunk or something. "Anyway, remember what our deal was? I gave you the equation for Bex's dare. You owe me."

"I didn't expect you to be that smart," I said. I really hadn't. "I could've figured it out for myself." I really could have.

"But you didn't. So now you help us with Zach and Cammie or Liz gets a certain picture-"

"Fine!"

I sighed and (have this noted that this is totally against my morals) got out my phone, dialing. "Uh, Zach," I said.

"Yeah man? I'm a bit busy," he replied.

"I need some help."

"Where are you?"

I swallowed, "In the bathroom."

Macey started cracking up.

"Why the hell do you need help in the bathroom?"

"I just do, okay?" I cried. "I might need two people."

"What the fuck do you need two people for?"

"Dude, just trust me, alright?"

Zach sighed, "Fine. Whatever."

Macey burst out laughing. "Fucking classic."

I closed the laptop and tucked it under my arm as the bathroom door opened. Zach and Cammie stood at the door, looking at me. "I'm fine now," I said calmly.

Zach was starting to look seriously pissed.

I sped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me, then locked it. I sprinted out of the club and jumped into the black van. "Good job Jonas!" Macey cried, high-fiving me.

"I'm never doing that again," I mumbled. "And I have a question - if you don't want Zach to have sex with Cammie, why are we locking them in a bathroom together?"

Macey rolled her eyes. "You're so unexperienced, Jo. Obviously we need incriminating evidence against Zach, just in case he annoys us. Like your photo." I cringed. Macey pointed to the screen. "Come on, Jonas. Cheer up and enjoy the show."

Liz--

This whole going-behind-Zach-and-Cammie's-back really went against my morals, but they needed to get together already. And I don't mean together as a one night stand. Like boyfriend and girlfriend. Like me and Jonas. They just seem to hit it and quit it.

I turned to Jonas a minute later. "What picture was Macey talking about a minute ago?"

His ears reddened and he blushed. "Well, erm, it involves me after a few wine coolers and...."

I cut him off with a giggle. "Jo, I've already seen it. It was all over the CIA database. But you did look rather handsome shirtless." I giggled when more blood seemed to flood his cheeks.

Bex spoke through my comms, "Hey, can you get a visual of Zach and Cammie? We aren't getting anything from ours."

I flipped around and glanced at my computer, adjusting the cameras, then spoke, "They're just sitting on the bathroom floor. Cammie looks frustrated and Zach looks sexually frustrated."

Cammie--

"Try the door again," I suggested.

Zach gave me a look. "I've already tried the door eight times. It's locked."

"How is it locked? It's a public restroom!" I cried.

"You try it!"

Sighing, I got up off the floor and tried the door. It was locked - like he said. I tried unlocking it. No such luck. "Do you have a bobby pin?" I asked Zach.

"Why on earth would I have a bobby pin, Cammie," Zach said, monotone.

"Sorry I offended you," I muttered, bending over and examining the lock. An idea sparked. I straightened back up and walked over to Zach.

"Give up?" He asked, smirking.

I reached for his belt and undid it, standing unnecessarily close to him (I did have a dare to fulfil, after all). "Can I borrow this?" I asked, holding it up. He blinked, looking momentarily surprised.

"Go ahead," he mumbled.

Zach--

Did she really just take my belt? Hopefully she doesn't hook it again because it doubles as a machine gun.

While she tried to unlock the lock I hit my head on the wall. I had a bet to complete and I wanted to complete it for two reasons. A: I haven't been laid since Thursday. B: I didn't want to give Baxter seventy five bucks.

Turning on my charm, I got up and walked over towards Cammie, grabbing the belt from her hands and laying it gently on the floor (gun, remember?). The lights flickered, about half of them going out. It set a mood. She turned and looked at me with confused eyes, and I smirked, pinning her against the wall.

"Maybe being locked in here isn't such a bad thing, Gallagher Girl." That did it; she was suddenly anxious and anticipating.

She blinked and I leaned in towards her mouth, in the last second I turned and kissed her neck. Two could play the tease game. She'd snap eventually.

Tina--

I opened the power cables and studied them, trying to find the right ones. "We need an update, Tina. How's the power and water stage going?" Macey's voice asked over the comms unit.

"Brilliant," I replied, cutting a green wire. Half the lights went out including the ones in a certain bathroom. "Moving on to water now."

I heaved myself up into a vent and crawled until I was on top of the bathroom. I could hear Zach's voice. "Maybe being locked in here isn't such a bad thing, Gallagher Girl." I pulled a match out of my pocket and lit it and waited two seconds. Kissing noises. Oh, brilliant. Quietly, I knocked out a grill and slid it next to me, stuck an arm out and blew out the match so the smoke went straight through the smoke detector.

"We've cut off the alarm system. The only thing that should go off is-" Macey began, but I already had my answer. Sprinklers. I put the grill back in place and crawled back to where I started.

Over the comms unit, Grant laughed. "Haha, Zach and Cammie are getting wet, in, uh, more ways than one."

Liz--

"Alright, activating sprinkler camera...now." I flicked the switch and Zach and Cammie came into view. Poor guy, he looked almost desperate. So did Cammie.

"Sorry, Bex. Looks like you aren't going to get your money," I said sympathetically. Cammie's shirt was already off and Zach's pants were half down.

Bex started muttering profanities, and Macey sighed. "Liz, turn it off. I really don't feel like watching a porno right now."

"Hey! I do!" Oh goodness, sometimes Grant could be a piece of work.

the next day

Macey--

"Wow, that is really weird," I said boredly, as Cammie told me about what happened last night. "Stuck in a bathroom with Zach, that's...wow. What happened?"

I genuinely wanted to know, seeing as we had cut off the video feed.

She gave me a small, un-Cammie-like smile. "I finished the dare," she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

On cue, Bex walked in through the door. "60, 70," she counted then groaned. "Goode! You still owe me five bucks!" she yelled. Zach appeared at the doorway. "Five dollars."

"It's five dollars, Baxter, just let it go-"

"It's five dollars, I can buy a fucking sandwich with that. Come on, cough up," Bex ordered.

Zach rolled his eyes and patted his pockets. Cammie was finishing up a crossword puzzle, looking perfectly natural. "So, since you guys don't look like you're together or anything, will it be safe to tell you that we were the ones that locked you in the bathroom with the sprinklers?" I asked.

The moment seemed to freeze. Cammie raised her eyebrows over the top of the crossword and Zach stopped looking for the money.

"WHAT?!" Cammie shrieked.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah, we were just messing with you guys. Give the money back, Bex," I told the girl.

Bex shook her head. "Hell no. This is mine now, sucka!" she yelled, running out of the room after taking a five dollar bill out of Zach's jacket pocket.

We all stared at her go.

Grant walked in. "So does that mean that Zach didn't do Cammie?" He scoffed and turned towards Zach. "And you said you were goode."

-yeah. i used the pun. SUE ME.

-i sort of hate the title. all i'm saying. i'll probably change it when i think of a cooler one.

-i'm still open to any other one-shot ideas.

end quote:
Mr. G: Thank God you're here, Grandma's been raped!
summer heights high