I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I watched as she climbed out of the truck, stumbling once she landed on the ground. "Hey Jake!" She called. She smiled, but she wasn't happy. She never was.

She looked insanely beautiful, as always. How was it possible that someone, only eighteen, could look so amazing? Even when she was so... Dead.

"What's up, Bells?" I asked with a smile of my own as I walked through the rain to get to her. I watched as she took a deep breath and tried to paint on a remotely happy expression.

"Just not feeling well." She breathed, fighting the tears that her eyes were cradling.

I hated him for doing this to her.

To think there was actually a time I was thankful for him... "Because he made her so happy..."

My ass.

I could have fixed her. We could have made it. I could have given her everything, she could have loved me.

But even though he's not here, she's still his.

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

Driving was doing nothing for me. All I was doing with going in circles, telling myself that I was actually getting somewhere. I wanted to leave this town.

I wanted to run, far, far away. Scoop her up and leave.

It seemed easy when I packed my bags and jumped in this stupid car I spent so much time on. But I couldn't do it.

She wouldn't let me.

I went around the block one more time and ended up right in front of her house. I could see her window open on the side of the house. There was no noise coming out of it, but I knew she was in there.

It was ice cold outside, there was only one reason that she would leave her window open. I felt my stomach twist in disgust.

I saw her face behind the screen door, smiling and waving for me to come in.

I shut off the truck and ran to the porch. "Hey honey." I smiled shook the rain off of me.

"Hey." She smiled weakly and opened the door. "What are you doing here? You didn't call." She didn't seem to mind, though.

How many times will I allow myself to be hurt like this? How many times will I run to her and fall even deeper in love with her while she's still waiting for him to come back?

Why do I always want more? Even though I never had any to begin with?

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

The rain was beating down harder than usual as I stood at the end of the block. I walked the whole way here, I looked like someone just threw me in a pool. I was soaked.

I watched like a sick stalker as she walked out of her home and climbed into her truck. She waited for a while, she was thinking about something.

Her eyes were lowered, staring down at her lap. She was like that for a while. Barely breathing.

When she finally looked up, more than ten minutes later, she face was soaked with tears. And her eyes were red and puffy.

She let her head fall against the steering wheel as I watched her body sob and shake.

It was then I realized that none of her smiles were real. Not even the ones I deluded myself into thinking were for me. She was just putting on a show for everyone, trying to tell us that she was getting better... When in reality, she was getting worse.

If possible.

I wished she could open her eyes. See me standing here. Waiting. Loving her.

I wish she could see that there is someone who has made her their whole life. That she's still loved. Even if it's only by me.

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

I heard a knock along with the rain at the front door. She was the only one who cared enough to actually knock, I knew it was her.

I was there so fast she didn't even have time to stop yet. She looked kind of embarrassed as I opened the door for her.

Her hair was thrown back into a messy ponytail, as usual, but this time there was something different about her. She was wearing make up.

She was trying to look pretty. I refused to let myself think it was for me, because I knew it wasn't.

Nothing mattered anymore. We were both so broken that we were beyond repair.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I listened, helplessly, to the painful scream that escaped her chapped lips.

"I'm so done!" She screamed throwing the pillow agaisnt the wall. I sat, helpless as ever, on her bed, staring at the floor, thinking of things to say that would make her pain go away.

Her tears fell harder than the rain against the window. "I don't know what to do!?" She tried, pounding her fists against the bedroom door.

"He's not coming back, Bella." I said in a dead voice. It had been two years. I refuse to let her dream these stupid dreams that will not come true.

She looked at me like I had just tried to kill her.

My heart fell into a thousand little pieces, right then and there. "You have to come to terms with it." I whispered.

Her jaw fell open and she tried to breath. I watched her face turn different shades of red as she cried harder. "Shut up!" She screamed.

So I did. I said nothing more.

"Shut up!" She screamed even louder, though. "Shut up, Jacob! Never say that again!" She scream, pushing me as hard as she could, but only hurting herself in the end. "Leave!" She screams, slapping my shoulder with all of her might.

"I'm not leaving." I stood up, towering over her.

"Yes you are! I hate you!" She screaming, pounding her fists into my chest as her tears dripped onto my shirt. "I hate you." She cried as she finally collapsed into me.

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

I watched as she walked to the truck again. I knew that she was just hiding there. Letting herself cry.

I knew these things, I knew everything about her. I was here. I was here when he wasn't. I tried so damn hard to make her whole again, where the hell was he? Why did she love him so much?

I didn't know him well. He could have been a good boyfriend for a while, but how could anyone who is even the slightest bit decent, do this to anyone, let alone Bella Swan? The one person who deserved no pain in her life at all?

I never blame her, though. Even though it kills me everytime she begs me to save her, I deal with it. I do it. I step up and help her.

Every time.

And I get nothing in return.

Try so hard to say goodbye...

A pain so bad that I would happily take death over, ripped through my chest as I looked a head of me.

He was back.

He was holding her hand.

He was kissing her cheek.

She was smiling. And it wasn't a broke smile anymore.

How could she forgive him? How could she just completely forget about me when I was the one who but band aids on all of the cuts he gave her heart?

Hell, I wasthe band aid.

I would have to "come to terms with it" I guess.

I would have to say goodbye. And lose.